"Wh-w-what the fuck?!"
Nathan's voice cracked as he scrambled backward across the forest floor, eyes locked on the massive wooden block that had nearly converted his toes into tragic backstory material.
His heart pounded violently against his ribs.
For a solid five seconds, he simply stared.
Because that thing—
That thing had appeared midair and dropped like physics itself held a personal grudge against him.
I almost died… to my own storage inventory.
Well… technically just my toes. But who knew what would've happened if I had summoned it closer to my body?
Which, frankly, would have been an incredibly embarrassing cause of death.
Nathan Nightshade — Cause of Death: Improper Item Retrieval.
What a tragic ending that would've been.
He swallowed hard as delayed realization finally caught up with him.
One moment: scientific curiosity.
Next moment: several hundred kilograms of wooden block attempting manslaughter — or, in this case, toeslaughter.
His survival instincts had kicked in about half a second too late… which was still half a second closer to disaster than he would've preferred.
Nathan slowly exhaled.
"…Okay," he muttered shakily. "Lesson learned."
He looked at his trembling hand with solemn seriousness.
"Note to self: do not retrieve objects capable of crushing your feet directly into open air."
He pushed himself upright and dusted off the back of his green patient pants, brushing away dirt and leaves with excessive intensity, as if dignity could be restored through aggressive patting.
Then he turned his attention back to the log. Now that it wasn't actively trying to kill him, curiosity returned.
He approached cautiously, like it might suddenly regain hostile intent.
The wooden block measured roughly four meters (13'1") long and half a meter (1'8") wide and tall.
Nathan crouched beside it.
"…Hmm."
He ran a hand along the surface. It was smooth, completely dry, and with perfectly flat edges.
No bark. No cracks. No noticeable imperfections. The wood looked… processed and construction-ready.
"This…" he murmured as realization dawned. "The tree I stored gets converted into processed lumber when I take it out."
The surface rivaled factory-cut timber — flawless rectangular geometry without blemishes.
Nathan blinked slowly.
This would be an illegal logger's wet dream.
He stared at the log with newfound respect.
"…This storage is terrifyingly efficient."
He placed his hand on the thick log again.
"Store."
The log vanished instantly.
Nathan opened his quest panel.
[Gather Resources: 1.1 m³ / 50 m³]
"…I see," he nodded thoughtfully. "Only newly gathered materials count."
Taking something out and putting it back didn't increase progress.
Fair enough.
Otherwise, he could cheese the quest infinitely.
"System devs definitely thought further than the user," he muttered approvingly.
Done contemplating, Nathan turned toward the surrounding forest.
A slow grin spread across his face.
"Well then."
He cracked his knuckles dramatically, despite having performed exactly zero manual labor.
"Time for environmentally questionable productivity: Massive Deforestation — Any% Speedrun!"
• × • × • × •
Nathan walked through the forest, touching nearby trees one by one.
"Store."
A tree vanished.
"Store!"
Another disappeared.
"Store!!"
And another.
Each tree yielded roughly 1 m³ of wood depending on size, with thicker trunks producing noticeably greater volume. His personal best was measuring 4 m³.
The work required exactly two steps:
1. Walk toward tree.
2. Touch tree.
Nathan quickly discovered he could clear trees faster than a professional logging crew powered by caffeine and unrealistic family expectations.
Minutes stretched into hours as sunlight shifted overhead and birds relocated with visible confusion.
A small section of forest slowly transformed.
By the time the completion notification chimed, Nathan stood inside a newly formed clearing roughly thirty by thirty meters (32.8 × 32.8 yd) wide — large enough for a small practice football field.
He wiped imaginary sweat from his forehead.
[Gather Resources: 161 m³ / 50 m³]
"Oops… I'm getting too excited."
he paused.
"…I might have accidentally committed ecological crimes. I think this was why my system called 'Deranged'."
He looked around at the open space.
"…My apologies, nature… and to whatever anti-deforestation bureau exists in this world."
• × • × • × •
A gentle breeze passed through the clearing as Nathan entered the next stage of his grand plan: Storage Experimentation (Definitely Safe This Time).
During testing, he discovered several fascinating rules.
For now, it seems that he could store trees no matter how big they are.
He cannot store soil, unless he lift some from the ground for some reason.
He could retrieve wood from storage in any size he wanted — as long as it did not exceed 2 m³ per piece.
However, output shapes were restricted to cubes or rectangular prisms.
No triangles. No cylinders.
Only cubes.
No artistic creativity allowed, apparently.
"…So the storage system hates geometry enthusiasts," he concluded.
Even more interesting — the wood wasn't stored as individual logs.
It existed as total volume.
Removing a piece simply reduced the stored cubic meters accordingly.
Damaged or hollow trees were automatically normalized before being added.
• × • × • × •
Nathan now entered stage three of his so-called 'grand plan' — Construction Phase: Totally Professional Engineering.
He didn't actually know how many stages the plan had. He just thought it sounds cool.
Using customizable output sizes, he began construction.
Thick wooden blocks appeared one by one as he stacked them into position.
Piece by piece. Layer by layer.
Without lifting a single kilogram.
After a few minutes of trial and error — and several near toe-flattening incidents — a square wooden fortress surrounded him.
The structure measured roughly four by four meters (13 × 13 ft). Walls built from four-meter timber blocks stacked together reached about one and a half meters (4'9") in height.
Nathan stood proudly inside the makeshift fortress, dusting his palms together.
"Pretty good, if I may say so myself."
In reality, his construction process consisted entirely of:
• Touch tree.
• Store tree.
• Mentally stack tree.
Peak, pure physical labor.
Still, doubt lingered.
"But… I'm sure this wouldn't be enough," he murmured.
Zombies might climb — or push… or maybe rage-smash.
So he added more blocks.
During the process, Nathan discovered he could retrieve wood from the storage directly into the soil, burying it without digging — prompting an immediate change of plans.
He summoned four-meter wooden beams with one meter of its length already embedded underground, reinforcing the inner wall like foundation pillars.
Additional wooden blocks expanded the outer walls, which he reinforced using the same method as before.
Collisions…? What's that? Nathan thought sarcastically.
Speaking of collisions, another idea struck him.
What if he inserted a new piece of wood into the gaps between stacked blocks? Would the system lock them together in place?
"For science," he muttered, fully justifying the experiment to himself.
To his surprise—
It worked.
The newly placed blocks fused perfectly with the structure, locking everything tightly together. Without hesitation, Nathan repeated the process across the entire fortress, reinforcing every section he could reach.
About an hour later, the structure had evolved into a dense wooden fortress.
Each wall now measured roughly three meters (9'8") in both height and thickness.
Nathan stepped back and admired it, wiping real sweat from his brow this time. Even with minimal physical effort, constant adjustment and back-and-forth under direct sunlight had taken its toll.
At its current state, even a muscular zombie — If muscular zombie exist at all — would struggle to push through. Climbing would also prove difficult without tools.
He nodded, satisfied with his handiwork.
He exhaled deeply.
"It feels like I'm playing M*necraft… while preparing for R*sident Evil…"
He crossed his arms.
"…Not that I've played either recently."
A faint memory surfaced — lying helpless in a hospital bed, phone screen glowing as streamers laughed and shouting curses while he remained unable to move.
Silence settled briefly.
Nathan shook his head firmly, shoving the thought away as quickly as it comes.
"Nope. Not going there."
That life was over.
He was healthy now, standing on his own feet, and breathing fresh air — without any support items, while building absurd wooden fortresses with magical inventory powers.
He even had a real System — something straight out of the web novels he used to binge endlessly.
Life couldn't be better…
…if not for the incoming zombie apocalypse scheduled later today.
Nathan suddenly straightened, energy returning as he clapped his hands.
"Alright! Temporary shelter secured." he declared cheerfully. "Now for the most anticipated part."
A translucent blue window appeared as he opened his system.
Excitement sparkled in his eyes. This menu had been begging for his attention since the moment he first saw it.
He selected it eagerly.
[Weapon Tuning]