Chapter 17 - Chapter 14: Lullaby of The Leaves (BEGINNING OF POST-AWARENESS)

No… No… not now, not another nightmare. I woke up in… a place, I can't quite recall it, but… I woke up in a familiar house. I, now, felt like I was taller and my footsteps were bigger. Did I grow up? This familiar house had grey walls and glazed wooden floors. I saw a picture hanging on a wall. The picture was a baby which was held by two elderly people. One a man and one a woman. The elderly couple's faces were… twisted, turned, and distorted. That baby in the picture looked quite familiar though. I reached out to touch the picture, but when I did, it faded away slowly. "No, no… Don't go!" I thought to myself. But, it was too late, the picture faded away from my touch. I walked down, until I reached to the living room. The couch seemed soft, and there sat a phonograph at a small table in the corner. It was playing… wait… that tune…. Have I heard it before? The tune was extremely slow, but oddly relaxing. In that tune, I only heard one verse, which sang, "Lullaby of the leaves…" and nothing else. The music continued on and on without any lyrics… all that was left was… a piano. I looked back at the couch, I think I slept on this thing before, or maybe that was from when I was sleeping on the couch during that nightmare I had… maybe. I continued to walk around the living room before I found a book, it was some kind of binder, it had pictures of either me with the elderly couple or me with a family. One was some kind of birthday party, another was picture of a baby in a crib sucking my own toe. I chuckled at the sight. It was kind of funny, can't lie, but in each photo except the crib one, it had some figure standing behind me. The figure's was tall, had tan skin, black shirt, grey sweatpants, and to top it off, it had a question mark with a static circle covering its entire face. As if… I should look really deep into that, but it also felt like… I was staring at myself. No, no, no, that can't be me… It can't. When, I kept turning the pages. In every photo, that figure was always there. At the last page, it wasn't a photo, it was my own eyes, with the red text in the picture, which was wrote, "Why… do you keep remembering…?" I closed the book shut and threw it to the wall with as much as I can. I ran my fingers through my hair, breathing heavily. I almost felt like crying, but I remember what Ms.C told me when I was like this… breathe in… breathe out… b̷̪̓r̵̰̉ë̸̠́a̶͚͐t̶͕̿h̵̳̅e̴̯̚ ̸͈̊į̵̇ņ̷͆.̶̹̉.̸̳͝.̶̝̈ ̵̢̑b̸̬̋r̴̹͑ẹ̵̋à̶̡t̷̗̓h̸̦̓e̶̞̓ ̵̣̕o̴̠͂u̵̞͝t̵̰͌.̵̭͐.̷͓́.̸̺̏ Now, I wasn't feeling like crying anymore, almost like it never really was going to happen. I wiped a tear from my eye and moved on. I went to the kitchen, which was black and white, and there sat a tray of… choccy-chip cookies! Maybe, this wasn't nightmare, if it was, then would my favorite cookies be here? I took a cookie and took a bite. It tasted sweet, choccy, and… familiar. I noticed a paper sitting beside the tray, it was written, "Made with lots of love… by" By who? It's just scribbles… Who can I thank whoever made these cookies now? That handwriting though… it seems like something I might can recall. Let me just… no, I don't know. I swear, I know that handwriting from somewhere. I slowly finished the cookie, still in thought, who can I thank? Once I was done, I continued exploring the house. I saw that there was a staircase, and from what I heard, it was child-like laughter. "Hey?" I called out, "Is somebody there?" There was a response but I don't it was towards me. "Watch out, The Tim-inator is here!" A Child-like voice of me called out. The Tim-inator… I like that. I walked upstairs to find whoever said that, I found the room where the voice was coming from, and it was a kid, who looked just like me, playing with action figures… toys… playthings. The room had a bed, a carpet for his toy cars possibly, and floor was a carpet-like texture too. Basically everything you need for a kid's bedroom. "I am the Tim-inator! And, I will erase everybody's memory! Even the most happiest ones! Muhahaha!" The kid voiced as one of the action figures. "Not if I stopped you!" The kid voiced another action figure wearing a cape. The kid started to make the two action figures fight. Watching the entire play actually made me smile a bit. The kid had so much joy than me. Maybe, my joy will be on par with his too… someday… just someday. When I blinked, the kid was gone, and so was the action figures he was holding. All that was left, was a toybox in the middle of room. Everything was gone, the carpet floor turned into wood, the bed vanished, and so did the carpet for the toy cars. I wish I didn't have blink… I shouldn't have. I went inside the room, and looked inside the toy-box. I found cars, action figures, and even another note. It was written, "For: Tim." As if someone might've gifted it to him. I think I had this toy-box before, maybe in my closet… No, that would've not make sense, My mommy and daddy didn't give me a toybox. So, this must be… I knew it. I was going to throw it, but seeing that kid's smile, maybe I should respect. I put the toy-box gently in the corner, in respect of the kid, who sounded alot like me. I left that room which was once full of joy, and I just leaned onto the wall. Joy… Bliss… Don't I feel it in my soul, and don't I know I've reached my goal? Why… Why am I here? Why am I in these houses that are just… STINKING LIES! I went downstairs, stomping, and when I did, there I saw it. The figure from those photos, sitting down on the couch, its face covered by a white static circle with a question mark on it. "You!" I yelled. The figure looked at me and then looked around. It replied in static, but also understandable, "Ẉ̸̑ḩ̷͒ö̷̧?̴͔̇" "YOU!" I yelled again, "Why are you putting me in these houses!?" The figure shook its head at me before answering, "T̵h̷a̷t̴'̵s̷ ̵n̵o̷t̶ ̶m̷e̸…̸ ̶t̷h̶a̵t̵'̶s̷ ̵y̷o̵u̶.̸ ̸Y̶o̸u̷'̸r̴e̷ ̸n̸o̴t̵ ̶f̷u̴l̴l̷y̴ ̶l̴e̶t̸t̶i̸n̸g̷ ̶g̵o̷ ̴o̵f̵ ̴s̶t̶i̵n̸k̴i̶n̵g̴ ̴l̵i̸e̸s̴ ̴l̶i̶k̵e̵ ̸t̸h̵i̵s̴.̷ ̷I̴f̵ ̴y̴o̴u̴ ̶l̸e̷t̷ ̷g̵o̷,̶ ̶y̷o̵u̸'̴l̴l̷ ̵b̶e̶c̴o̶m̴e̵ ̶l̷i̸k̸e̴ ̴t̴h̸e̶ ̸k̷i̸d̵s̷ ̸i̸n̶ ̵y̶o̶u̴r̵ ̶c̴l̵a̴s̴s̶.̴ ̵I̵f̵ ̴y̴o̷u̶ ̶l̶e̵t̸ ̷g̵o̸,̸ ̴I̸'̴l̴l̵ ̷s̸t̷o̴p̶ ̶b̷o̴t̴h̸e̷r̷i̸n̷g̴ ̴y̶o̸u̸…̷ ̵I̶f̶ ̵y̴o̵u̵ ̵l̴e̵t̶ ̸g̵o̶,̷ ̵y̷o̴u̸'̶l̵l̵ ̶t̴r̷u̴l̸y̶ ̸b̷e̷ ̵i̷n̶ ̵j̷o̴y̴…̸ ̸i̶f̴ ̵o̵n̸l̵y̷ ̴y̷o̷u̷'̴d̶ ̴u̵n̷d̶e̷r̷s̶t̵a̸n̴d̴.̸" Understand what? It's not being clear enough. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I̶'̸m̸ ̴s̸a̷y̴i̴n̴g̶,̴ ̶i̵s̷ ̶t̸h̶a̵t̴ ̶y̷o̶u̴ ̴s̷h̶o̸u̵l̷d̶ ̷s̶e̴e̴k̴i̶n̸g̸ ̵t̴h̴o̴s̶e̴ ̸t̴h̵i̷n̴g̵s̸.̷ ̷T̵h̸e̷y̴'̸l̷l̷ ̶g̶e̷t̴ ̴i̸n̷ ̷y̵o̸u̶r̴ ̴w̶a̷y̴ ̸o̸f̵ ̴b̵e̶i̸n̷g̷ ̷h̴a̴p̷p̸y̴.̴.̸.̷ ̴l̵i̸v̸i̵n̷g̸ ̸h̷e̴r̶e̷.̷.̸.̶ ̴f̴o̶r̸ ̷e̴t̸e̶r̴n̶i̸t̴y̵.̴" The figure stood up and walked towards me. But, I backed away. "L̷e̷t̵ ̸m̵e̴ ̴h̴e̸l̴p̷ ̴y̴o̴u̵ ̸… ̸p̵l̷e̷a̷s̷e̵?̵" I shook my head and replied, "But, what if it's true? What if that's really who I am-" The figure walked closer and answered, "N̷o̶n̷e̴ ̶o̴f̶ ̴t̶h̴a̸t̵ ̴w̶a̶s̵ ̴e̵v̵e̶r̷ ̴t̴r̸u̶e̸.̵.̵.̴ ̸Y̶o̶u̴ ̴w̵e̴r̵e̴ ̷a̴l̸w̶a̴y̵s̷ ̴h̸e̶r̸e̸." It's right… I've always been here, with my mommy and daddy… with Ms.C… In my little cars bed. So, I just stopped backing up, and let the figure come near me. It takes another step towards and before its hand touched my chest, it said, "F̴̺̓a̶͉̋r̶̼͋e̷̱̋ẅ̸̢́e̴̱͛ḽ̵͝l̷͉̾.̶̝͂.̶͙̽.̸̲̓" The figure's hand touched my chest, once it did, everything went black, I was no longer in the familiar house, instead, I'm just staring into the void, hearing crackles and popping as I slept… Everything's calm now. Those worries, those lies, that figure was right, they were just in my way of being… happy. I can't wait for school tomorrow, I can't wait to see Ms.C, and I can't wait to finally be happy.