"How was your first night?"
I almost choked in my Bergamot tea when Lady Grizelda popped up the question. It is an ordinary morning breakfast in the garden terrace. It's just us two alone, with few waiting servants. No annoying grandsons.
"I couldn't sleep,"
"Maybe there was a pea in your bed," she laughed. I faked a smile and took it as a compliment that I am treated as a princess rather than any other normal girl. She gently clapped her hands, calling for attention when one of the servants came with a little book and respectfully handed it to the old lady.
"This, dearie, is your lifeline. It includes all the rules and regulation in the manor. Dress code. New hobbies and interests. Curfew. Schedule. Forbidden rooms. Forbidden inquiries." she eloquently stated.
"But... what for?"
"Well, if you're marrying into this family, I figured you need to know the basics." she explained yet still I don't understand the necessity of drawing a line.
"Why Nikolai? Why do we need to marry? Did he get a say to this?" I stayed calm and proper.
"Your grandmother and I agreed to this a long time ago. If she wasn't paralyzed, I am sure she would also wish the same thing. You and Niki will be perfect for each other."
My grandmother Sylvia was the one who surrendered me to the orphanage when my parents died. Cancer took my mother, while my father took his own life away. After those unforgettable memories, Sylvia slowly dies, with each passing day suffering on her rotten bed. Her legs betrayed her, until it started paralyzing every inch of her body. She was the best ballerina I ever knew. It was a curse...
I walked back to my room with a faint hope of living peacefully. The manor is still looking gloomy. And I am too.
"Do you have a minute?" I almost jumped when someone talked behind me.
"Nikolai! Shit!" I exclaimed.
He was holding huge pink boxes. "I didn't mean to frighten you. Come on, let's go to your room. I have a surprise." he seemed excited.
He hurriedly made his way up the long, terrifying staircase and waited for me before opening the door. "You're making me nervous..." I confessed and sat on the bed.
"Why don't you open it and take a look?"
I pulled off the silk ribbon and gently take off the lid. "My uniform?"
"Yup. You're officially one of us now. My ballerina." he proclaimed and gently strokes my chin.
It was a pair of burgundy ballerina shoes and an elegant ballet tights. The other box is the official uniform of Valtheron Arts School; a white collared long-sleeved shirt with a dark navy-blue cape and short pleated skirts.
"Starting Monday, we'll go to school together." Nikolai added.
"But of course, we'll be in the different courses. I take visual arts, particularly, photography. And you, Clementine, will take after your granny's shoes... performing arts." he explained.
I took ballet classes way back when I was in the orphanage but that was totally different with professional ballet art classes. "I'm really not that great."
"Wanna know a secret? I only do photography for fun. It's not really my passion. But I would be inspired if you become my subject." he paused.
My eyes widened, studying his expressions whether they be lying to empathize with me. "But your brothers... they seemed pretty dead serious with their careers." It seemed off to compare him with those douchebags.
"Yeah, especially Cruise." Fuck. Cruise. That nerve-tingling name...
All of a sudden, my mind brought me back to last night. How I fucking went back to my room crawling on my knees for a desperate touch of a senseless, cruel man. And now that I am left alone in this shuddering, empty room, I couldn't help but to think about him again. The way his muscles tighten when he was holding my trembling legs. The way he pinned me down the table and savor on my fear and hunger. The way he promised and threatened me to safety. How could I trust the words of a mad man?
I went out of the room to cleanse my polluted mind. Silence almost took over when I heard voices coming from the unknown walls and corners. I scanned my sight around. And it was coming from the same room when Cruise almost had me. The office.
I quickly hid beneath the pillar when the door blasted open, a red-head lady, probably in her late twenties, storming out. She was wearing semi-formal clothes... her hands are frantically buttoning her blouse and sweeping her pencil cut skirt. Her hair was a little messy and the smudge of her lipstick is really not that hard to notice. Following her was no other than Cruise, but he didn't seem to bother and let the other ran away. Cruise is leaning on the door frame, with a stick of cigarette in between his fingers, mindlessly bumming a smoke when our eyes finally met.
His gaze is piercing through my confused and raging soul. For a moment, I swear, I couldn't move an inch. He smells like sweet sex. A random sex on a random day with a random whore.
I didn't speak but my eyes betrayed me for crying all my emotions in different languages. I was ab0ut to walk away when he spoke, "You saw that, huh?"
"I saw nonsensical reason." I replied.
I regret about talking so impulsively in front of the devil. His face darkened and took big steps closer to my direction, grabbing my waist. "Watch your mouth, Clementine."
"Who was that?" I asked as if he needed to explain everything to me.
"None of your goddamn concern."
"Was she the one calling last night? Dr. Jennings, right?" To hell with this mouth!
He scoffed, "What is it to you if I fuck my own shrink, Clementine Mazzalena?" His hands explored down my ass, squeezing, and bringing my body closer to his. He looks hella sexy in his confidence of doing this with me in a broad daylight.
"You're sick!" I spat out, but this time, I didn't anger him out.
"I know. That's why I sleep with the person who could cure the hell out of me." he whispered.
I weakened when he brushes his lips on my forehead. I banged on his chest, like a little kid throwing a tantrum. "Then why couldn't you do the same for me?" I asked perfectly with a soft, wistful voice.
I rested my head on his chest and patiently waited for him to speak. "You cannot just walk into my life and ruin it perfectly, Clementine. You don't know anything. Not even me." I could feel his tone slicing through my flesh and bones.
"But you told me to follow your orders and desires in order to live. And I have every will and intention to live out of this hell of a mansion of yours." I think I captured the nicest reason to stay in his lane.
He smirked and held my wrist, dragging me inside the office. "If you truly wanna live, you wouldn't marry Nikolai." he sent me a warning.
Cruise cornered me to the table and groped my ass, making me sit down, with my thighs spread apart for space just enough for him. He leaned in closer, his thumb caressing my jaw. "I wouldn't kiss you in the same place you fucked another woman, Cruise..." I bellowed.
"Shall we continue this to my room, then?"
"No... I need time to think about this." I muttered and wrapped my arms around his torso, tracing the carving on his hips.
"You really are testing my patience." he gritted his teeth.
But before he could even let me go, he buried his head on my neck and nipped on my skin. "Just marking what's mine. You'll come back for more."
I grabbed a fistful of his hair, "Damn it, Cruise!" I breathed in sync with his.
"Now, follow my first order: Do not trust anyone in this manor. Nod if you understand."
I nodded, half-heartedly. "Even you?"
"If you treasure your worthless life, then yes, especially me." he answered.