A heart. A muscular organ that pumps oxygen-filled blood and minerals, giving life to the flesh, while also determining if one is dead or alive.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Kolden," a young nurse said.
I've always understood what a heart does. I, too, once experienced a beating heart.
"Good afternoon, Linsy."
Beep. Beep. A hospital monitor beeped. The young nurse placed pills and a cup of water on the bedside table.
"Thank you, Linsy."
I smiled and waved her goodbye, though there wasn't much cheer in my voice. It was hard to fake such a thing when dying.
"Mr. Kolden, I regret to inform you, but you have heart cancer."
I was 20 at the time when I first received the diagnosis. Has it already been three years since then? Now, staring at the medicine tablets, I counted: "1, 2, 4... 12."
Leaning back on the bed. Twelve medicine tablets a day; it was hard.
"I don't want to anymore."
Staring at the tablets, swallowing them hurt in every way.
"But I have to for her."
Buzz.
My phone flashed a notification from my sister, Sara. She's the reason I've put up with living like this for so long.
Sara: I hope you're doing well! Sorry, I couldn't visit this week; traffic is terrible. I'll see if I can early Monday.
A few heart emojis followed. Then a reminder from her: "Make sure to take your pills and sleep well." The doctor says it's important to get good rest. Love you."
I smiled, replying, "Don't worry about it. You can always visit another time. Love you too."
I loved Sara dearly. She's the reason that, from the day of my diagnosis, I worked until I was too sick to; I had to make sure she could live by herself.
"Maybe I should take them. It's what my doctor says, and Sara, too."
I quit living my life for myself and lived for Sara. Our parents died when we were young, so I never did much but take care of her. Being hospitalized at 22, I never had time for anything meaningful to happen, so I was okay with living for her.
"Was it the right choice?"
I thought I worked and worked until my body could no longer keep going. Maybe I should've taken better care of myself. I mean, I wanted to support her, but look at me now: nothing but a big pile of bills.
"$110,000." My card balance.
"If I continue to take treatment, it's going to dwindle. What's left for her?"
Staring at my medicine: "Maybe just a week more, just enough time for her to visit one last time."
I reached over to grab my medicine from the bedside.
Drip. Drip.
Tears ran down my cheeks.
"Why am I crying? It's just medicine."
Tears began dripping down. I cried.
"It's just medicine. I have to take it. For Sara."
Lying back and wiping my tears, ready to take the medicine, a phone alert sounded. Picking up my phone, I saw a message from an unknown messenger: "Divinity"?
Divinity: Hi, Kolden. You may not know me, but I'd like to offer you an offer of sorts.
Staring at the message, the word "offer" rang through my ears.
"Is this a joke?" I replied.
Divinity: It's not my job to make fun of humans. As I said, I'd love to offer you an opportunity to have a heart once again.
I furrowed my eyebrows. Definitely a joke. Typing, annoyed: "Not a funny joke, whoever you are. It's not possible, and it isn't just a beating heart I want. And that dumb name, 'Divinity'—you're not a god."
Send. I pressed the button.
Divinity: I know a beating heart is not all you want.
Staring at the message, I nodded in agreement; it wasn't. I wanted to take care of my sister before passing; other than that, I had nothing else I wanted.
Divinity: Your sister. Sara, isn't that right?
Staring at the message, I was creeped out. How did they know what I worked for and my sister's name? Typing, I was getting pissed. "Are you stalking me from the hospital? Leave Sara out of this!"
Pressing send aggressively, I thought, This guy's a nut job.
Divinity: Calm down, please. I'm not here to harm you. Your life has been a tough one. Your parents' death, right? That's also a sting in your want.
How... Did this person know? Fear engulfed me. "How do you know about their passing...?"
I stared at my phone eerily, waiting for a response.
Divinity: I know a lot of things about you, Kolden. In fact, in a way, you could say I created you. Believe me when I say: your heart must, and will, beat once again.
I stared at the message. Created me? I had no relatives to spread this information around, and the police records... Well, they are locked away, barely touched.
"Well, let's say you did create me. You sure did a good job at making my life miserable."
Staring at my pills, then back at my phone. This is stupid. I should probably just block the troll.
Divinity: Well, there were reasons. I apologize. And as a god, I'd like to once again offer the chance for your heart to beat.
The following message made my heart skip a beat.
Divinity: As well, refrain from blocking me, as you would say.
Looking around, the lights were off. Even if there was someone, I hadn't spoken those words, so... "Lucky guess, right?" I mumbled, staring at the message. Deep down, I knew this was probably a scam or a troll, but I couldn't help but think maybe it was true.
Divinity: Don't worry, I'm not spying on you. I just like for you to hear me out; I want to help you.
Looking around at the grim reminders of my current life, I looked at my phone and laughed, embarrassed. This was my only "hope."
"I don't have any money to give you if you're selling a course," I replied. Maybe I should just say "yes"; it couldn't hurt, but only if it was free.
Divinity: I have everything I could need. Money doesn't mean much. I simply want to give you a better life. Otherwise, I wouldn't really be a god—more like a devil.
I stared at the message. I couldn't say anything; it was a true statement.
"I guess..." I mumbled. Would saying yes change anything? Even if it didn't, I'd still like to say yes. "Is it some sort of course?"
I felt my heartbeat, slow and unrhythmic. Was I really this desperate? Maybe.
Divinity: A skeptic; I like that. No course here. A simple yes, and you, my friend, will be beaten once again.
I read the message. Why was I nervous? Nothing was going to happen. "Okay, I'll accept."
Alright, I said "yes." That was the hardest part.
Divinity: Kolden, I congratulate you on taking a chance. You will shortly be transferred. Enjoy, and know: the hope of a heart is never lost.
Sighing in relief. How stupid. I smiled, putting my phone down and staring at my medicine. Buzz. My phone vibrated again. Picking it up:
Divinity: I forgot to ask, but you do like games, right?
Staring at the message, I thought about how I played in my free time, but not much.
"Yeah, I would say I do."
A strange feeling trickled down my spine.
Divinity: Great... Whatever you do, you must become a god, Kolden.
I shook my head at the insanity. Getting off my bed. Why was I shaking; I chalked it up to my wellness.
"I should probably take my medicine. It's getting late."
My cup? "Did the nurse not fill it?" I sighed, grunting as I got up, cup in hand, walking to the sink.
"System linking."
A robotic voice rang in my head. I scratched my head as I looked around for the person who spoke, but no one was here.
"God, I'm going crazy. First the messages, now voices."
The sink ran water as my cup filled.
"System connected. Now transferring data. Enjoy."
"Huh?" I fell to the floor. The cup spilled its water next to me. "Am I dying? But... I need to tell Sara... too soon to... die..."
My eyes shut, weak, the beat of my heart dimmed, death.