The gears of fate might be a little rusty, but you can always trust Riyao-brand lubricant.
Yesterday, Riyao leaned against the bar, the request form held between his fingers, as he quietly drifted over to Happy's side.
He leaned down slightly, discreetly showing the amount on the request form to Happy, a meaningful curve touching the corner of his mouth.
Happy's pupils shrank suddenly, his small paws covering his mouth as he let out a suppressed scream: "Aye! That painting is worth 200,000 J!"
Riyao patted Happy's small head, smiling like a successful fox: "Go on, Haki-bi, go win your big fish."
And so, Natsu and Happy, who had just raided Lucy's bedroom last night, marched off to the Duke's Mansion this morning with Lucy in a maid outfit.
Riyao originally wanted to go watch the fun and follow the drama up close, but Mirajane grabbed his collar and said with a smile: "Honey, you have to help the Master handle official business today."
(;′⌒`)
Riyao lay sprawled on the long table in the guild office, a mountain of compensation reports piled in front of him. His page-turning speed grew slower and slower as his expression became more and more colorful.
"Whoa~" He suddenly sat upright, holding up a report with his eyebrows raised high. "Laxus electrocuted the client's cows to medium-rare."
Beside him, Mirajane waved the report in her hand and read enthusiastically: "To capture a Dark Guild, Erza destroyed half a town. City walls, taverns, bakeries, fountain squares—all written off."
"Are you praising her or feeling sorry for that half of the town?" Riyao looked at her sideways.
"Both~" Mirajane winked.
With every report they read, Makarov's heart twitched. The little old man curled up in his chair, his grey beard drooping. His eyes twitching, he fished a small medicine bottle from his pocket, poured out two Vitamin C tablets, and tossed them into his mouth, crunching loudly. "I'll be angered to death by these bratty kids sooner or later."
This Vitamin C was something Riyao had tricked Makarov into believing was Fast-acting Heart Relief Pills. It was purely psychological, but every time Makarov took them, he wore an "I'm alive again" expression.
Riyao was especially concerned about Makarov's health, mainly thinking: What if the old man really gets sick from anger one day and finds an excuse to retire? What if he tosses the hot potato of the Guild Master position to Gildarts, and Gildarts tosses it to me?
Makarov took a deep breath, suddenly jumped down from his chair, and grabbed Riyao's leg, smearing tears and snot all over his pants. "Riyao! Good boy! The guild is almost out of money to clean up after them! Lend this old man some! Just a little bit!"
Riyao happily spread his hands, palms up, smiling harmlessly. "Please call me Riyao Strauss now. All my money is in my dear wife's hands~"
(´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ
Makarov's eyes darted around. He let go of Riyao's leg and started bouncing toward Mirajane...
"Whoosh—"
Riyao grabbed Makarov's head and lifted him up like a disobedient chick.
The little old man's legs flailed in the air, his beard twitching up and down.
Riyao leaned down, whispering into Makarov's ear like a demon: "Old man, what are you trying to do?"
Makarov awkwardly scratched his bald head and gave a dry laugh. "Hehe, subconscious reaction, subconscious reaction..."
Mirajane sat on the sofa with her legs crossed, holding a cup of black tea and watching the show with great interest. She couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Hahaha, Master, we can lend you money, but there must be interest. After all, my husband worked hard to earn it~"
Makarov was put back in his chair, stroking his chin as he fell into a brainstorm: I'll find a chance to dump the Master position on Riyao later. That way, the interest won't be my problem, and I can solve the successor issue at the same time. Two birds with one stone, genius!
Riyao spoke as if sensing something, his fingers tapping the table. "Forget the interest, but there's one condition~"
Makarov had sat back in his chair, hands crossed on the table, restoring his dignity as Master. "What condition? Nothing that violates our principles. We are a Light Guild."
Riyao rolled his eyes so hard they almost went to the back of his head. "Do I look like some kind of great villain?"
Makarov and Mirajane looked at each other, shaking their heads in unison—then nodding in unison.
If not a great villain, he's at least a Devil Incarnate.
Riyao dissatisfiedly pinched Mirajane's small face, squeezing her cheeks into the shape of buns. "What kind of reaction is that!"
Mirajane puffed out her cheeks and said indistinctly, "Nothin'~" but her eyes were full of laughter.
Riyao let go and said seriously: "My condition is that you are not allowed to force me or Mirajane to become the Master of Fairy Tail."
Mirajane tilted her head, cute as a little bird, then her eyes widened in realization. So the Master had been planning this all along!
Makarov went Orz, slumped over the table. At this moment, there should be a heavy snowfall and a telephone booth.
He looked up unwillingly, gazing at Riyao expectantly. "How about thinking it over? Being the Master is very prestigious, you know?"
"Prestigious my foot. It's just cleaning up after you guys every day." Riyao didn't even look up from the reports.
Mirajane finally reacted. She pulled a checkbook from her pocket, scribbled a check, and slapped it on the table with a "thwack," making the teacups jump. "This is it!"
She pulled Riyao toward the exit of the office, her high heels clicking a rapid rhythm on the floor.
"The Master actually wanted to dump that hot potato on us. How outrageous!" Mirajane brandished her small fist, looking huffy.
Riyao thought for a moment and said, "I guess among the younger generation, only Laxus would want to be the Master."
Laxus sneezed, accidentally releasing lightning that curled Freed's hair.
The two walked to the bar and sat down. Lisanna was wiping glasses. Seeing them approach, she asked with a smile, "Big sister, brother-in-law, what would you like to drink?"
"Strawberry milkshake~" Mirajane said, her cheeks still puffed out from her previous annoyance.
"An '82 iced Coke." Riyao leaned against the bar, boredly spinning the ring on his finger.
"Bang—"
The guild doors were burst open. Natsu rushed in carrying Lucy on his shoulder, with Happy fluttering his wings behind them.
Lucy's hair was a mess like a bird's nest, her skirt was covered in mud, and tear stains still marked her face.
Riyao turned his head and teased, "Yo, did little Lucy get that 2 million J?"
Lucy lay sobbing on the bar, her shoulders twitching. "What 2 million? I didn't even get that 200,000! Waaaah, what am I going to do about this month's rent... I'm going to be homeless..."
Mirajane covered her mouth, her shoulders shaking with laughter. "If you have nowhere to stay, you can come be a maid at my house. Room and board included."
Lisanna nodded in agreement, her eyes sparkling. "Three meals included! You just need to clean two small houses and tend to ten acres of land every day~ It's a great deal!"
The former young lady Lucy thought of the size of her family estate and shook her head frantically, her hair swinging like a rattle. "I refuse! Absolutely not! Ten acres! That'll be the death of me!"
Happy flew over and circled Lucy, gesturing with his paws. "Virgo is so weak in Lucy's hands. She couldn't even beat that weird-looking Duke and was chased a long way~"
Virgo appeared out of nowhere, standing behind Lucy in her maid outfit with her hands folded in front of her, bowing slightly. "The Princess's strength does not permit me to pummel Mr. Natsu. What a pity."
Lucy's eyes widened as she looked at Riyao in disbelief. "Virgo could actually pummel Natsu? Riyao, are you that strong?"
The humble Riyao waved his hand and blinked innocently. "I'm just a weak and powerless Healing Mage. I just have a tiny bit more magic power than average~"
Gray and Natsu, who were fighting, stopped simultaneously. Natsu's fist was still on Gray's face, and Gray's ice hammer was still against Natsu's neck—both rolled their eyes in unison.
Cana, who was drinking, almost choked on her wine and coughed, patting her chest.
Levy, who was reading, pushed up her glasses, her mouth twitching.
Jet and Droy, standing behind Levy, lowered their heads.
Alzack, who was peeking at Bisca, silently looked away.
Wakaba and Macao, who were having a drinking contest, looked at each other and shook their heads at the same time.
Loki, crouching behind a pillar, almost tripped.
Laxus, listening to music on the second floor, gave a cold snort.
Freed, who was wiping his rapier, had a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.
Bickslow, playing with his "babies," rolled his eyes.
The vain Evergreen even stopped looking in her mirror.
...The eyes of many members in the guild twitched in unison, with only one thought in their hearts...
"Like hell we'd believe you!!!"
Mirajane looked helplessly at her lover, reaching out to ruffle his hair with a mix of doting and exasperation—tricking a newcomer again, he really was just a boy who wouldn't grow up.
Riyao caught her hand and gave her fingertips a light kiss, smiling like a cat that had just eaten a canary. "Dear wife, what would you like to eat tonight?"
"The Ching Bo Leung you make." Mirajane squeezed his fingers, her eyes full of tenderness.
"As you wish~"