Chapter 129: Thor: I Want My Meow Meow Hammer
Thor finished his Coke in one swallow and let out a belch of substantial satisfaction.
"Oh~~ This drink. I like it considerably."
He reached out, picked up the glass, and smashed it on the table.
Crack.
"Another."
The restaurant owner looked at the shattered glass on his floor and then at Thor with an expression that had moved well past confused and into something more clinical.
What kind of competitive eater broke his glass like that? That was a different category of problem.
Matthew caught the owner's look and offered him a small smile. "Don't worry. I'll cover it."
"Also, for future refills, could you bring him a paper cup? No more glass."
He turned to Thor. "Thor. If you want more, you can just say so."
"But I did say so?" Thor looked genuinely puzzled.
In Asgard, smashing the cup after a particularly exceptional drink was the highest expression of appreciation. It communicated that the beverage had been worthy of such an enthusiastic response. What exactly was unclear about this?
Matthew didn't get into it. "In any case. No more smashing things."
"I have money, but that's not what it's for." He picked up a chicken burrito and took a bite.
Actually pretty good.
He looked over at the neighboring table, where Jane, Darcy, and Erik were sitting with their mouths open, watching Thor with the expressions of people who had been unable to move for the past several minutes.
"Want anything?" Matthew asked them.
That snapped them out of it.
"Well, when you mention it... I am actually a little hungry." Darcy called over to the owner without any particular hesitation. "Can I get one chicken burrito with extra hot sauce, a double beef cheeseburger, and a Coke?"
"...I'll have the same as her," Jane said.
"Same for me. Burrito without the hot sauce though," Erik added.
The kitchen was fast. Within five minutes everything had arrived and the table had settled into the comfortable rhythm of people eating after having forgotten to eat for a while.
Then a delivery driver came through the door and sat down at the counter.
Middle-aged, carrying a few extra pounds in the way of someone who spent most of their life in a truck seat. Thick beard, cap, and the manner of a man who considered a large beer after a long drive one of the genuine pleasures of life. He had one in hand almost before he'd gotten settled.
He turned to the owner.
"Raby. You should go take a look out west."
"Word is a satellite came down last night. The crater it made is worth seeing."
"Is that right. Funny you should mention that." Raby glanced toward Thor's table. "I've got something worth seeing right here."
The driver followed his gaze and went still.
"...How much has he eaten?"
He stared for a few seconds, then shook himself. "Impressive as that is, I'm telling you, you cannot imagine what I'm talking about out there."
"The satellite piece looks small, but it's impossibly heavy. Nobody can lift it."
"Someone tried to pull it with a truck. The bumper came off the truck. The piece didn't move."
"Government's already there now, so it's not like you can go look. But I'm telling you, the sight of that crater." He shook his head.
"Heard there might be radiation too. Don't know if that's true. I touched it with my hands, so I guess I'll find out."
He continued on in this vein.
Thor, who had been eating with the focused intensity of someone making up for significant lost time, caught three specific words in the driver's account.
Very heavy. Nobody can lift it.
The hamburger in his mouth stopped tasting like much.
He set it down.
"Mjolnir," he said, almost to himself.
Thor stood up, crossed the restaurant in a few quick strides, and put a hand on the driver's shoulder.
"Where was this?"
The driver had started to turn around with an objection ready, then registered the size of the hand on his shoulder and changed his mind.
"Eighty miles west of here. Follow the road."
He paused. "Look, I'd save yourself the trip. Government's cordoned the whole area off. You're not getting in."
"Even if you were planning to prove you could lift it, you'd never get close enough to try."
Thor had already turned and was walking toward the door.
"Hey!" Jane called after him. "Where are you going?"
She swallowed her last bite and moved to follow. The others did the same.
"Hey! You haven't paid!"
The owner reached out to stop them. Matthew was already pulling out bills.
"Keep the rest."
He went back to his Coke.
Outside, Thor had apparently taken something useful from his recent experiences with New Mexico traffic. He was now observing oncoming vehicles and moving out of their path in advance.
Apparently once was sufficient.
"Thor!" Jane's voice carried down the street. "Where exactly are you going?"
Thor stopped.
When he turned around, something had settled in his expression. "I'm going to find my Mjolnir."
"Your meow meow?" Darcy tilted her head. "What's a meow meow?"
"Mjolnir," Thor said, with the particular patience of someone correcting something for what they knew would not be the last time. "Mjolnir. Thor's Hammer. My weapon."
"So you actually are Thor? Like, the God of Thunder?" Darcy blinked at him.
"That is what I have been saying since I arrived. At no point has any of you believed me."
He looked at Jane. "You've been wondering where I came from since the beginning. Come with me."
"Once we reach the hammer, I'll answer everything you've been trying to figure out."
"Really?" Jane looked at him.
"The great Thor does not lie."
Something in his expression was entirely sincere.
Jane was quiet for a moment, then glanced at the others.
She was on the edge of agreeing when Erik touched her arm. "Jane. A word?"
She hesitated, then followed him a few steps away.
"Jane." Erik's voice was low. "I'd keep some distance from this man."
"We both know he's not operating normally."
"Thor, a divine hammer, the Bifrost. Those are myths. Stories for children. This man has apparently taken those stories as real history and cast himself as the central figure." He looked back at Thor, who was waiting with complete self-possession. "You're not going to get answers from someone who's constructed this kind of narrative around himself."
Jane looked at Thor for a moment.
Then she nodded.
Adults. Past the age where a face changed anything. The calculation was what mattered.
She turned back to Thor, not without some apology in her voice. "I'm sorry, Thor. We have work to get back to. We can't go with you."
Thor received this without particular surprise. He nodded once.
Then he crossed the distance to Jane and bent to kiss the back of her hand in the formal Asgardian manner, straightened, and looked along the street at the assembled group.
"Jane Foster. Erik Selvig. Darcy." He paused, noticing one absence. "And..."
He looked back toward the restaurant, where Matthew had not yet emerged. He let out a helpless shrug, gave a small formal bow in that direction.
"Farewell."
He turned and set off down the street at a stride.
By the time Matthew came out of the restaurant, Thor was already well in the distance.
Matthew watched him go, then looked at Erik and the others.
"Are you not going to follow him and see what happens?"
Erik shook his head with full conviction. "We've got work to do. And besides." He watched the shrinking figure. "He's clearly not operating within any normal parameters."
The sentence wasn't finished before Thor, moving at full stride down the street, turned directly into a shop.
The sign read: CAT AND DOG PET SUPPLIES.
A moment later, at a volume that carried clearly to where they were all standing:
"Shopkeeper! I require a magnificent steed! Capable of covering great distances at speed!"