Now that the commission I'd taken on was finished, all I had left to do was meet up with Lili again and settle the loot split we hadn't been able to finish that day.
After that, all the urgent business would finally be over.
Then I could go back to being holed up in my little workshop like a full-fledged shut-in and spend my days obsessively doing magecraft research.
Yeah.
That was how it should have gone, at least.
So why was today the day it had to happen?
"And so, you see, our Bell-kun, right? Back then he was all covered in blood and clung to me while saying, 'Goddess, I want to get stronger.' Krrr, the sheer pitifulness of Bell-kun at that moment! And the way his soul grew even more from that heartbreaking little scene was just so admirable. And then there was the recent Monsterphilia, too. While I was out on a date with him, some accident let the monsters we'd been holding captive break loose. One of them was a Silverback that came chasing after us, and Bell-kun ran forward with nothing but a single sword in hand, determined to protect me, and the sight of him was just...!"
Why did this little goddess come to someone else's shop just to ramble on with this pointless chatter?
Even though her own situation was probably dire enough to be called a public nuisance.
No, more importantly, what was she bragging about in front of a lifelong virgin like me?!
I was about ready to throw salt at her!
This was already the fifth time she'd told me the same story!
"Yes, yes. Thank you for the lovely story, Goddess. The exit is in the back, so please have a safe trip home."
In the end, I cut off the goddess's story with a rather direct remark.
Maybe she read the meaning behind my attitude.
Or maybe she'd simply run out of things to say.
Either way, the goddess who had been happily talking to herself finally stopped and looked at me.
"Honestly, Magus-kun, you really have no charm at all. Your attitude toward a god is just outrageously disrespectful."
"If you want me to feel reverence for you, then go learn South American lucha, some ancient Indian martial art, or maybe Jacob's Iron Fist Sacred Art. Personally, I'm not a fan of Greek philosophy boxing."
"Hah? What nonsense are you spouting, Magus-kun? Lucha? Iron Fist? What do such barbaric things have to do with reverence? Are you perhaps a little slow in the head?"
"Well, if you don't know, then never mind."
I pretended not to know anything.
Even if she was a goddess, it seemed she didn't know that one either.
Well, the worldviews were different, so I supposed there was nothing to be done.
I'd already given up on it long ago... but still, it was a little disappointing.
"So what is it, then? The reason you came here today."
"Ah, right! I completely forgot!"
At my words, the little goddess reacted as if she'd just remembered something.
Then she suddenly dropped to her knees and bowed deeply toward me.
"Hah!"
It was a truly magnificent, perfectly executed full prostration.
I was so stunned by her sudden action that I couldn't say a word for a moment.
No, you're a goddess, aren't you?
Is it really okay for a god to do that?
Do you have no shame doing this in front of a mortal?
More than anything, why are you even doing this?!
"What is that dogeza for?"
"As expected, you recognized it, Magus-kun. This dogeza is the ultimate finishing move of promises, taught to me by my dear friend Takemi..."
"Doing that isn't going to get your tab reduced or anything."
"W-what...! N-no! Hmph! What do you take me for! As if I, Hestia, would ever do something so shameless!"
"Hmm... probably?"
"That's mean!"
I cut her off before she could get any ideas.
But after flinching for a second, she quickly changed the subject, so it didn't seem like that was the purpose of her visit today.
So I asked her again, half curious and half resigned.
"Then what is it? If it's not about reducing the tab."
"Well... prepare a magic item for my lovely Bell-kun!"
"So it is an extra tab after all!"
It was good that I'd already resigned myself to it.
I had a feeling this was the sort of request it would be, and sure enough, I was right.
I'm disappointed in you, Goddess.
I'm not your blue raccoon, you know.
Can't you feel your faith draining away in real time?
Honestly, what are you, some kind of useless goddess from somewhere?
"Haaah, Goddess. Our kind but pitiful Goddess Hestia."
Still, I did my best to steady my heart.
Calm. Composure.
What I needed right now was only the stillness of a clear, empty mind.
Or else cold fury.
"By any chance, does your conscience migrate entirely toward that nice-looking flesh of yours? Why are you suddenly coming here and making such unreasonable demands?"
"Th-that's a bit harsh!"
Oops.
I was so worked up that the words slipped out before I could stop them.
But once something's been said, there's no taking it back, so I'd just have to harden my conscience and ignore it.
"No, think about it. I've already been considerate to you in my own way because I've owed you a lot, haven't I? I'm just asking you to remember that!"
"U-uh..."
But it seemed even the goddess couldn't completely deny my words, because she fell silent for a moment.
Honestly... both the goddess and Tiona.
Ah, the world is full of debt collectors~
"Th-that may be true, but..."
"And you know that, so why are you acting like this?"
I narrowed my eyes as much as I could and glared at the little goddess in front of me.
At that, whether she felt guilty or simply intimidated, she couldn't meet my gaze at all.
Then she muttered a small excuse.
"B-but... I also want to help Bell-kun..."
"Then pay off your tab first."
"Th-then I'll work here as a waitress...!"
"Not a chance. You're already scraping by with cheap part-time jobs all over the place just to make ends meet. If you keep this up, I'll really count all of your income as going toward your tab and won't give you a single coin for living expenses. I'm not the same as Hephaistos, you know."
"Uu, you monster! Devil! Chihiro!"
"Ah, come on! Stop saying that!"
Who was it that first dirtied Chihiro's name and spread it through this world?!
...Me, wasn't it! Damn it!
Anyway, this mouth of mine was always the source of the problem.
"In any case, this time absolutely not. Up until now I've let things slide because I owed you, but no more. I'm not doing it. No matter what, I'm not going to be a sucker."
"Th-that...!"
And that was the end of the discussion.
If I came on this strongly, the goddess wouldn't have anything else to say to me.
No, really, none of that matters—just hurry up and leave already.
I want to go back to my cozy workshop and do my magecraft research in peace, damn it!
"...I understand."
"I'm glad you do. Now then, since you're getting in the way of business, please go on and—"
"...I'll do it."
"Huh?"
But her determination to think of her Familia members was apparently far stronger than I'd expected.
Before long, she pulled out the strongest card she had available.
"I'll offer myself!"
"I told you, I don't need a waitress or anything like—"
"That's not what I mean!"
The little goddess immediately denied my guess.
Her face slightly red, she twisted her body awkwardly and, as if giving up or resisting at the same time, declared her final card to me.
"F-for a little while, I'll lend you my bo... my 'body'!"
The goddess's declaration.
And then, a brief silence.
I stared at her wordlessly for a long moment, then let out a deep sigh and answered her declaration.
"Goddess, you do realize what you're saying right now, don't you?"
"Y-yes, I do."
"Once this is decided, there's no going back. Are you really serious about what you just said?"
"I-I've already made my resolve!"
The little goddess shouted, her face turning even redder.
My head was starting to throb.
Even though this was something I'd always wanted, yet never expected to actually happen, why did I feel like this?
What the hell was love, anyway?
Wasn't love itself more dangerous than a hurricane?
"Haaah, seriously. Just what is it about that Bell guy, anyway?"
"Don't say that about Bell-kun!"
"I'm saying it because it's frustrating, because it's frustrating."
This little goddess was kind, sure, but once you stripped that away, she was usually a little airheaded and painfully lacking in social experience, which kept bothering me.
Could she have somehow gotten tangled up with some weirdo?
Her devotion to this Bell guy was so intense it made me wonder.
She'd even borrow the cheap failed knockoff I'd made for her—though it worked perfectly fine—as a charm to give to him.
She'd take the homemade potions I'd made as test products and hand them over to him under the pretense of checking their quality.
She'd even borrow a little money from me to buy equipment for the guy, and so on.
And from what I could tell, she was handling all the other little household odds and ends too.
Was this really okay?
"Well, fine. If you insist, then let's make a proper contract between us. That'll probably help you more too, Goddess."
But worrying about her that much would be rude and meddlesome in its own way.
In the end, she was a goddess, and lies wouldn't work on someone like her anyway.
So I decided to keep that thought to myself, as usual.
"Here. Please check it carefully and sign here."
Gulp!
"R-right."
Swallowing nervously, the goddess carefully examined the contract I handed her.
Once she had checked everything, she took a deep breath and, with trembling hands, struggled to sign the contract.
From this point on, her 'body' would be mine for a while.
Heh-heh-heh...
"Contract established. Welcome to my 'holy ground.'"
"Uu, what on earth am I doing... B-but this is all for Bell-kun..."
"Now, now. It's too late to regret it. I'm a vile villain, so I'm never going to offer you a kind cancellation."
"Uu, Bell-kuuun..."
Unlike me, who was grinning wickedly in triumph, the goddess was crying miserably in sorrow.
But fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I didn't need her right away.
Today, I still had to go see Lili about the loot split.
"Ah, right. Before we begin, I'm just checking for formality's sake."
There was something I needed to take care of first.
"Would you like me to be gentle? Or rough?"
"P-please be as gentle as possible."
"Gladly."
I smiled again, genuinely pleased.
Be kind, children. Don't follow my path.