"...I couldn't agree more." Kōichi had also put away his usual calm expression, replacing it with a solemn look almost like he was at a job interview. Even his steps seemed measured with a ruler. "Staying alive comes first. Sabotage has to happen under the condition that we don't get beheaded."
And Aqua, usually the noisiest of them all, was now showing an astonishing amount of divinity.
She gave a slight nod, walking gracefully with her hands folded before her lower abdomen. Her long sapphire-blue hair fell over her shoulders, giving her an untouchable air of holiness.
Anyone who didn't know she had been rolling on the ground over a bag of chips yesterday would have mistaken her for a royal princess traveling incognito.
"Keep your voices down. Kazuma, Kōichi, don't make any sudden moves. Even though I'm a Goddess, in a place so full of faith... ahem, so full of the scent of money, presenting myself elegantly will make the donation negotiations much easier later."
Aqua kept up a perfect smile as she forced the words out through her teeth.
Even Megumin was hugging that flashy staff of hers to her chest. The eye beneath her eyepatch no longer glowed red, and she followed behind with her head lowered like an obedient elementary school student.
When the four of them entered the reception hall and saw the head of the Dustiness House seated in the place of honor, imposing yet faintly sickly, along with Alexei beside him, elegant enough to be copied straight from an etiquette textbook, all four bowed in perfect unison.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, My Lord. We are the Adventurer companions of Darkness... no, Miss Lalatina. We are deeply honored to have been invited." Kōichi spoke in a tone so full of formal courtesy that even he found it unfamiliar.
"Oh? So you are the companions Lalatina often speaks of?" Darkness's father, the lord, smiled kindly and turned to Alexei. "Alexei, look at them. Such polite, dependable young people. It seems my earlier concerns were unfounded."
Alexei also rose and bowed gently. "Indeed. You all carry yourselves with remarkable poise. To fight alongside Miss Lalatina, you must be outstanding elites chosen from among thousands."
Darkness, standing off to the side, was completely dumbfounded.
She had expected these people to start stuffing their faces the moment they walked in, cursing up a storm, and maybe even have Aqua perform water-spitting on the spot. Instead, the four of them were behaving more properly than court etiquette officers.
"Hey! What are you doing?!" Darkness lowered her voice, her tone filled with despair and accusation. "What happened to being devilish? What happened to trampling my reputation? Why are you acting like model citizens of the Empire?! Hurry up and do something to me! Expose my shameful true nature in front of Father!"
Kōichi stared straight ahead, his lips locked in a stiff smile as he answered in a low voice.
"Don't be ridiculous... Did you not see the looks in those four bodyguards' eyes behind your father? If I say one wrong word right now, tomorrow's sunrise might have nothing to do with me. Just endure it for now, Miss Lalatina."
The dinner settled into a suffocatingly harmonious atmosphere.
Alexei sat with perfect posture, praising Darkness's heroic display during the cabbage subjugation in that magnetic, gentle voice of his, though he had no idea she had not actually hit a single one. The lord, meanwhile, smiled so broadly his mouth nearly split, looking as though he might set the wedding date on the spot.
Kōichi was cutting the premium steak on his plate with an extremely elegant motion, even though he was furiously complaining inside that the meat did not have as much chew as the expired rations from Wiz's shop. Kazuma Satou acted like a true gentleman, gently wiping the corner of his mouth with a handkerchief and even exchanging hollow pleasantries with Alexei about territory management and mutual benefits for Adventurers. Aqua, even more divine than usual, was benevolently casting a Purification spell on a glass of water to demonstrate the sanctity of the Axis Order to the lord.
For Darkness, who sought abuse, humiliation, and being treated like trash, this perfect scene was a public execution more painful than death.
"Enough... That's enough..."
Darkness kept her head lowered, her fine bangs hiding her eyes, but her violently trembling shoulders and increasingly heavy breathing stood out sharply in the quiet dining room.
"Lalatina? What's wrong, my child? Are you feeling unwell?" the lord asked with concern.
"Miss Lalatina, if you are tired, we can..."
Alexei was just about to show his thoughtfulness when Darkness slammed the table and shot to her feet, startling him so badly he pulled his hand back.
"Don't look at me with those gentle eyes! And don't call me by that disgusting nickname!"
Darkness snapped her head up. Her cheeks were flushed red, and her eyes shone with an almost crazed excitement.
She tore the lace choker from her neck. The heavy formal dress meant to make her look like a proper lady was stretched tight across her body.
"You four! Kōichi! Kazuma! What were you doing just now? That polite nonsense, that fake etiquette... Are you trying to kill me?!" She pointed at Kōichi and Kazuma, who were frozen with their wineglasses halfway raised, and roared, "What happened to exposing my unsightly private life? What happened to humiliating me in public as a useless meat shield? Since I can't rely on you, I'll do it myself!"
Under the stunned gazes of the lord and Alexei, Darkness leaped straight onto the dining table with a crash that made their teeth ache.
"Listen, Alexei! Do you think I'm a dignified noble lady? Wrong! I'm actually... I'm a hopelessly perverted Crusader Knight who trembles with excitement whenever I see a strong monster, and who would smile strangely even if I were dragged off by Goblins!"
As she spoke, she revealed that flushed, sickly expression that made Kōichi and Kazuma feel almost unbearable secondhand shame.
"I don't want a warm family! I want to be trampled by the cruel Demon King's Army! The husband I want isn't a gentleman like you who pulls out chairs for me. I want a devilish man who curses me as a useless meat shield while shoving me into a horde of monsters! Just like Kōichi and Kazuma usually do to me!"
"Pfft!" The top-grade black tea Kazuma Satou had just drunk sprayed directly into Alexei's face.
"N-no, that's not true! My Lord, please let me explain! We absolutely do not usually..." Kōichi stood up in horror, trying to salvage their completely collapsed image, but Darkness had clearly entered full meltdown mode.
"Come on, Alexei! If you really want to marry me, then right now, in front of my father, curse me with the vilest words you can think of! Or try smashing this plate of steak into my face! Hurry! Let me feel the thrill of total disgrace!"
Darkness spread her arms wide and let out a cry filled with joy and despair, one that seemed to shake the entire mansion.
A deathly silence fell over the dining room.
Alexei wiped the tea from his face, his entire body frozen as though his mind had shut down.
The air in the dining room felt as heavy as lead, and only Darkness's rough breathing echoed through the spacious room.
Lord Dustiness sat at the head of the table. That father, always stern yet kind, was now pressing a trembling hand to his forehead.
His face went from livid to deathly pale, then from deathly pale to a purplish shade brought on by extreme embarrassment.
As her father, he had actually known about his daughter's little hidden preferences for a long time through various channels, as well as from the tutors Darkness had scared away. But never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that his daughter, who normally blushed at even speaking loudly, would jump onto the table at a formal matchmaking dinner, in front of the finest young talent in all of Axel, and announce that she wanted to be ravaged by the Demon King's Army.