The air in the mansion's living room felt as if it had caught fire, saturated with some highly flammable, explosive gas known as a romantic battlefield.
Kōichi watched Megumin's face begin to twitch from guilt, and an especially nasty curve formed at the corner of his mouth.
Like an interrogator with all the time in the world, he casually crossed one leg over the other, his gaze sweeping between Megumin and Kazuma Satou, whose face had gone deathly pale.
"Well now, Megumin. Since you've already said that much, there's no need to keep hiding it." Kōichi drew out his words, amusement gleaming in his eyes. "This so-called relationship beyond friendship, just how far beyond are we talking? Have you already confirmed how many moles each of you has? Or perhaps, on some dark and stormy night, you completed a deep explosive encounter full of magic and bodily fluid exchange?"
"Pffwah! B-bodily fluid exchange?!" Kazuma Satou had been trying to sneak away, but the moment he heard that, he tripped on flat ground and slammed face-first into the expensive carpet. "Kōichi, you bastard, don't just make up lies that'll get me hunted down by the entire Crimson Demon Clan! The closest contact we've had was when I helped her bathe… Wait, no! That was when she'd run out of magic and couldn't move! It was sacred nursing work!"
"B-bathe…?!"
Yunyun let out a wail as if her soul had left her body, swaying like a dying candle in the wind.
"Y-yes! Exactly!" Megumin's face was red enough to start steaming, but the pride of the Crimson Demon Clan would not allow her to back down. Forcing herself to puff out her flat chest, she spouted nonsense with all her might. "We have already completed… a deep soul link! With my Explosion Magic as witness, we have shared… shared calories! That's right, shared calories! Kazuma gives me his meat every day. That is the highest form of a love contract!"
"That's just stealing food, isn't it?!" Kōichi exposed Megumin's lie without a shred of mercy, then turned gently and took Yunyun's cold little hands in his.
"Don't listen to these two brats playing house, Yunyun." Kōichi's voice was gentle enough to drip honey, and he spoke loudly enough for everyone in the living room to hear. "How could their calorie-sharing relationship compare to the adult social life we're about to begin? You work so hard, you're so kind, and yet you've always been bullied by that tsundere violent maniac. From now on, let me fill the emptiness in your heart. Whether it's guidance in magic or late-night heart-to-hearts, I'll give you my full attention."
"Kōichi…" The eyes that had been on the verge of collapse instantly lit with hope. Yunyun gripped Kōichi's hand back as though she had found a lifeline, her voice trembling. "Can I really? A gloomy, friendless idiot like me, who even has to practice for ages just to say hello… can I really build that kind of relationship with Kōichi? The kind even Megumin would envy?"
"Of course. In fact, I've been looking forward to it for a long time."
Kōichi gave her a smile charming enough to be fatal, and smug enough to show his scheme had worked.
Just then, Darkness, who had been silently observing from the side, suddenly began breathing hard.
Her heavy breastplate rose and fell with her ragged breaths, and her golden hair hid her eyes, which had already grown somewhat hazy.
"Mm… haah… Kōichi…" Darkness let out a suppressed moan. Her hand unconsciously gripped the doorframe, her nails leaving deep marks in the wood. "I'm standing right here… I'm covered in wounds from protecting everyone… and yet, right in front of me, you say such immoral, fickle things to another girl? This frustration of being completely ignored, treated like part of the scenery, and forced to watch the man I adore seduce an innocent young girl with my own eyes… Ngh, this trampling of my heart… it's simply wonderful…"
Though she called it wonderful, a barely perceptible spark of jealousy flashed in Darkness's eyes.
As she watched Kōichi holding Yunyun's hand, the sour feeling in her chest actually outweighed the pleasure of being humiliated. For a hardcore masochist, this was an abnormal situation more serious than the end of the world.
"Hey, Darkness, calm down. Your face is turning a really unhealthy shade of red!" Kazuma Satou shuddered as he watched from the side.
The mood in the living room took a complete turn with Megumin's sudden burst of laughter.
Barely holding her crumbling expression together, Megumin shot up from the sofa, planted her hands on her hips, and let out the kind of shrill laugh that only came from desperately trying to cover up extreme embarrassment.
"K-Kukuku… hahahaha! Yunyun, you didn't actually believe that, did you?!" Megumin pointed at Yunyun, who had already sunk into a rosy fantasy. The blush still had not left Megumin's own face, but she forced herself to look as though victory was already hers. "I was merely testing your self-control! To think that you, the daughter of the Crimson Demon Clan Chief, would fall for such a low-level trap so easily! Oh dear, how disappointing. Yunyun has already started getting all worked up over men, and over a suspicious guy like Kōichi, no less!"
"Huh…? A-a trap…?" Yunyun froze on the spot, still unconsciously clutching Kōichi's sleeve.
"That's right! The next time I return to Crimson Demon Village, I'll stand in the middle of the street and announce it for everyone to hear. 'That Yunyun, who always pretends to be so proper, has turned into a shameless woman in Axel with nothing but dirty thoughts in her head, the kind who wants to get married the moment a man compliments her!' I'm sure everyone will be very eager to hear that news, won't they?"
The more Megumin talked, the more carried away she became, as if dragging Yunyun down would somehow erase the lie she had just told.
"Waaah! N-no! Please, don't tell anyone!" Yunyun's face instantly went from pink to ripe-tomato red, and steam even began rising from the top of her head. She let go of Kōichi's hand as if she had been shocked, so mortified she looked ready to explode on the spot. "I-I just… I just thought Kōichi was a really nice person! I definitely wasn't thinking about anything weird! Waaah, Megumin, you big idiot! You pervert! I-I'm never talking to you again!"
With a cry of despair, Yunyun covered her face and fled out the mansion's front door like a gust of wind.
Watching Yunyun disappear into the distance, Kōichi and Kazuma Satou exchanged a look, then both let out a heavy sigh.
"Hey, Megumin, that was way too far." Kazuma Satou looked thoroughly disgusted. "You were the one who lied first about some relationship beyond friendship, but in the end, you pushed all the blame onto that innocent Yunyun. That behavior is a disgrace to the Crimson Demon Clan."
Kōichi chimed in as well, his voice carrying a hint of regret. "Exactly, Megumin. I was just about to show Yunyun the adult world, and you ruined it. This is blatant jealousy, isn't it? Just because Yunyun's chest is bigger than yours, you resort to such low tricks to attack her? Tsk, tsk. What a narrow-minded little brat."
"Huh?! W-who's jealous of that milk cow?!" Megumin sprang up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. "I was saving her! Kōichi, that look in your eyes just now clearly said you were going to drag her into some suspicious alley! This was advice from a friend!"
As the two of them joined forces to denounce Megumin, Darkness, who had been silent all this time, suddenly let out a heavy, ragged breath.
She walked to Kōichi's side. Although a trace of jealousy still lingered in her eyes, it was overshadowed by a nearly twisted anticipation.
"K-Kōichi…" Darkness's voice was low and hoarse, her blue eyes fixed firmly on him. "Since Yunyun has already run away… those things you said just now about giving your full attention and filling the emptiness in her heart… could you… could you say them to me instead? Even if you only treat me as Yunyun's stand-in… even if it is only to punish this vile Knight for being jealous of her companion… please… bully me with even more outrageous words…"
"…This one's hopeless."
Kazuma Satou covered his face.