"Darkness, you idiot!! What are you doing?!" Kazuma finally snapped out of his PTSD. As he slapped the grains of salt off his head, he shouted in despair, "Are you trying to save us or kill us?! We're going to be treated like public enemies!!"
"...Achoo! Kōichi, I can't take this anymore. I got salt in my eyes..." Megumin crawled out of the carriage, rubbing her teary eyes. "Let's just go back to Axel. Everyone here really is insane..."
The carriage struggled forward through a symphony of salt and insults, finally stopping on one of Arcanletia's inner streets, paved with blue stone bricks.
The air here was even more humid, and channels of clear spring water flowed along both sides of the street. Yet that picturesque scenery had been completely ruined by the swarm of followers sweeping through like locusts.
Kōichi pulled the edge of his cloak lower, doing his best to look like part of the background.
He watched the citizens around them frantically throw salt at the carriage while still trying to shove membership applications into every gap they could find, and the corner of his eye twitched violently.
(...Just as I thought, there isn't a single normal person in this city. This kind of fanatical, completely illogical behavior is cut from the same cloth as that moronic Goddess sitting beside me, hugging a wine bottle and burping. No, it's even worse than her. There's an entire city full of Aquas here...)
As Kōichi thought that, he turned around and saw the strangest marching formation he had ever witnessed in his life.
Kazuma Satou and Dust were pressed tightly back-to-back, shuffling sideways down the street like two startled giant crabs.
They completely ignored the shouting followers around them. Instead, they stared fixedly behind each other. The moment anything stirred behind either of them, they would let out a perfectly synchronized shriek and sidestep in unison.
"Kazuma... That auntie in the blue robe on the left has been staring at my butt for three seconds. Do you think she's going to turn into an Orc and pounce on me?!" Dust's voice trembled like a wheezing bellows.
"Calm down, Dust! Watch my lower back! As long as we don't expose our backs, the malice of this world can't hurt us... Damn it, stop squeezing me! You stepped on my foot!"
Kazuma kept shuffling sideways while still finding time to spit at the followers trying to shove flyers at him. The sight was utterly ridiculous.
At the very front of the group, Darkness strode with her head held high, like a hero marching toward martyrdom.
She held the Eris follower badge high above her head. Its silver glow shimmered through the rain of salt, like a beacon drawing in hatred.
"Come on! Harder! Is that all your anger amounts to?!" Darkness's face was flushed, her breathing quick and uneven. Every time a grain of salt struck her body, she let out an unsettling little gasp. "To be rejected as a heretic by an entire city... To be watched by countless hostile eyes... Ahh, this really is heaven! This is the holy land I've always dreamed of!!"
The Axis Cult followers were so frightened by Darkness's perverse reaction that their hands trembled, but as fanatics, they refused to lose. Instead, they threw salt even harder.
Walking in the middle of the group, Aqua was caught in a serious internal struggle.
Her right arm clutched the remaining bottle of sparkling wine tightly, but her left hand kept twitching, wanting to wave at the crowd.
"Waaah... Even though throwing salt at me is really mean, look, Kōichi! That guy over there shouting 'Long live the Goddess' has such a devout look in his eyes! He must be seeing my sacred, untouchable essence through this mortal shell, right? Sniff, I'm so moved... Hehe, this wine is delicious..."
Aqua wiped her tears while chugging wine, crying one moment and laughing the next. She looked only one final push away from completely losing it.
Meanwhile, Wiz and Yunyun, the two relatively normal ones, followed awkwardly behind them.
Wiz was doing her best to block the flying coarse salt with a magic shield, while Yunyun looked overwhelmed with joy.
"Um... Kōichi-san, the people here really are enthusiastic." Yunyun was somehow already holding five or six membership applications in her hands, her face shyly flushed. "Three people came up and talked to me just now. They kept asking me to sign this, but that still counts as communication, right? This is the first time so many people have surrounded me when entering a city... Does everyone want to be my friend?"
"...Yunyun, those aren't friends. That's a pyramid scheme." Kōichi helplessly pressed a hand to his forehead. "Listen up, everyone, move faster! Before Darkness over there gets dragged off by the followers as a pervert, we need to find an inn and hide! Wiz, lead the way. Find the quietest-looking place, somewhere we're least likely to be bothered!"
The wooden door of the Arcanletia Inn closed heavily behind them, finally shutting out the terrifying, zombie-like Axis Cult followers and the storm of coarse salt.
The inside of the inn was surprisingly quiet. The air carried a faint scent of sandalwood and clean moisture, a stark contrast to the madness outside.
The landlady at the front desk was an older woman in a dark blue kimono, with eyes sharp enough to cut through stone.
She coldly looked over this group of salt-covered, strangely posed guests, and her gaze finally stopped on Darkness, who was still breathing heavily. She let out a meaningful snort.
"...Young people these days sure play rough. You want rooms, right? Only four left. Take them or leave them."
The landlady casually slapped four heavy brass keys onto the counter.
Kōichi wiped the salt from his face and turned to look at his teammates, who were already on the verge of falling apart.
"All right, let's split up. Kazuma, Dust, since you two have already evolved into a conjoined life-form, take this key and go back to your room to practice your crab walk. Don't scare people in the hallway."
Kazuma and Dust glanced at each other and raised no objections. Still pressed back-to-back, they moved sideways toward the stairs with the smoothness of a huge, bizarre eight-legged creature.
"Thanks, Kōichi... Dust, turn left! Watch the step! Don't expose your back to the stair railing!!" Kazuma's voice gradually faded away.
Kōichi then looked toward Yunyun, who was clutching a corner of her cloak while constantly sneaking hopeful glances at Megumin.
The Crimson Demon Clan girl's face was as red as a ripe tomato, and she was mumbling things like, "If Megumin doesn't want to, it's not like I have to..."
"Yunyun, this one's for you and Megumin." Kōichi pushed a key into Yunyun's hand. "Megumin got salt in her eyes earlier, so help her wash them out. Also, no researching Explosion Magic in the room tonight. I still want to make it back to Axel alive."
"Oooh! Kōichi-san! Thank you so much! I'll take good care of Megumin! We'll definitely build a deep, unbreakable friendship!"
Yunyun was so excited she nearly burst into tears. She half-dragged, half-pulled Megumin, who looked annoyed but did not refuse, up to the second floor.
Now, only Kōichi remained at the front desk, along with the remaining three: Aqua, who was hugging the wine bottle and giggling stupidly; Darkness, whose body was still trembling faintly and whose eyes were unfocused; and Wiz, who looked flustered and kept apologizing.