"U-um, Kōichi-san. This is your room. It's not as impressive as the mansion in Axel, but... I changed the sheets to lavender-scented ones. I thought they might help you relax."
As she spoke, Yunyun turned around awkwardly, intending to show Kōichi the room's furnishings.
However, Kōichi, who was hovering on the edge of sleepwalking, did not even notice that Yunyun had stopped.
"Wah?!"
The moment Yunyun turned around, she crashed straight into Kōichi's arms.
The sudden impact jolted Kōichi slightly awake, but the reflexes he had built up through years of adventuring made him instinctively reach out with both hands and firmly catch the weight in his embrace.
A soft, yielding sensation. The faint, distinctive magical fragrance of the Crimson Demon Clan. The warmth of a girl's body rapidly rising from panic.
Kōichi woke up completely.
He lowered his head and found himself looking straight into Yunyun's wide red eyes, filled with disbelief and overwhelming embarrassment.
Yunyun had gone completely stiff. Her hands were pressed against Kōichi's chest, but she showed no sign of pushing him away. Instead, they trembled slightly from sheer nervousness.
'I'm finished! What am I doing?! I'm in the Crimson Demon Village chief's house, hugging his one and only precious daughter?! If Hiropon opens the door right now, the Lord of Ashes really is going to turn into a pile of ash!'
Kōichi screamed inwardly in despair as cold sweat instantly soaked his back.
In any normal worldview, what he was doing would easily count as late-night harassment or an extreme breach of manners.
Kōichi wanted to let go immediately, apologize, and flee the scene at light speed. But when he saw Yunyun's expression, like she was about to cry yet desperately holding it in, his brain froze again.
Meanwhile, Yunyun's inner monologue was even more dramatic than his.
'I-I'm being hugged! Is this the legendary physical contact of trust that only close friends share? Or is this the most popular goodnight greeting in Axel? If I push him away now, Kōichi-san will definitely think I'm an ungrateful, antisocial woman, then leave tomorrow morning with Aqua-san and the others and never speak to me again... Waaaah, I don't want that! I finally made a friend... Even if, even if he's hugging me so tightly I can barely breathe, I absolutely can't push him away!'
And so, in a bizarre silence, the two of them remained frozen in that extremely ambiguous and dangerous posture in the empty corridor.
Kōichi could clearly feel Yunyun's racing heartbeat through his arms. It was pounding so fast it was practically a full-powered Explosion magic engine.
His brain bounced wildly between letting go and apologizing, and staying like this until the end of time. In the end, it arrived at the most cowardly conclusion possible.
'Since she isn't pushing me away, should I say something to break the awkwardness? Like... Yunyun, you're actually pretty light? No, no, no, that would absolutely sound like sexual harassment!'
Just as this suffocating scene of social death was about to develop into something unspeakable, Aqua's energetic and utterly mood-killing shout rang out from the other end of the corridor.
"Hey! Kōichi! Why won't the soap in this bathroom lather?! Come take a look! Is the water in this village so terrible that even this Goddess's divine power can't purify these cheap detergents?!"
That shout struck like a bolt of lightning, instantly shattering the pink bubble between them.
Kōichi released her as if he had been electrocuted and jumped back a huge step, moving so fast he even stirred up a gust of wind.
"U-um! I'm sorry, Yunyun! I zoned out just now! I really didn't mean to! I-I'm going to check what that idiot Aqua is doing!"
After shouting that incoherently, Kōichi sprinted toward the bathroom without looking back, his retreating figure filled with the wretched panic of a man fleeing for his life.
Yunyun was left standing there, her hands still frozen in midair. The blush on her face had spread all the way down to her neck, making her look like a fully cooked shrimp. A wisp of white steam even rose from the top of her head.
"I-it's fine... If it's Kōichi-san... even a little longer... w-would have been okay..."
She murmured in a voice as faint as a mosquito's buzz, then covered her face and darted into her own room, slamming the door behind her.
After a chaotic struggle filled with sacred fists and the Goddess's wails, Kōichi finally silenced Aqua's endless complaining by threatening to shove her into the toilet and purify her if she made any more noise.
Exhausted, he crawled into the room Yunyun had prepared for him. The moment his head touched the pillow, he fell asleep. After all, in a place like Crimson Demon Village, staying awake was the greatest torment one could inflict on the mind.
The next morning, when the first ray of sunlight pierced through Crimson Demon Village's magic-dust-filled air, Kōichi walked into Yunyun's living room while yawning.
But the sight before him instantly drove away all traces of sleepiness.
On the spacious sofa in the living room sat two perfect Crimson Demon Village zombies.
Kazuma's face, usually full of sleaze and opportunism, was now as pale as paper. The dark circles under his eyes were so heavy they looked like they had been smeared on with charcoal, and his whole body was trembling slightly.
Megumin beside him was not much better. She clutched her staff tightly, staring blankly at a pattern on the floor while muttering unconsciously.
"Explosion... urge to pee... Barrier... unforgivable..."
Kōichi raised an eyebrow and slowly walked over, sweeping Kazuma with a gaze full of righteous judgment.
It was as if lightning truly flashed in his eyes, the ultimate stare reserved for suspected lolicon criminals.
"Well, well. If it isn't Kazuma."
Kōichi lowered his voice, his tone carrying a malicious hint of teasing.
"So, how did it feel resonating all night in Megumin's boudoir? Did you find the Crimson Demon Clan's hospitality unusually warm and moist? Come on, confess. What unspeakable, degenerate acts did you commit against our party's only underage Arch Wizard?"
"Kōichi..." Kazuma slowly raised his head, his eyes filled with the dead stillness of a man who had seen through all worldly illusions. "You think that was heaven? No. That was hell... An Avici Hell so terrible even a Dullahan would weep."
He suddenly grabbed Kōichi by the collar and lowered his voice, launching into a grief-stricken accusation.
"I, Kazuma Satou, may be lecherous and shameless, but I still have limits! Before confirming a relationship and getting a marriage certificate, how could I possibly lay a hand on that flat-chested Explosion maniac?! The problem is... Megumin's deranged parents cast an Advanced Barrier Magic called the Lock of True Love on the door and windows! Unless the two people inside form some kind of contract uniting body and soul, it absolutely won't open before dawn!"
As Kazuma reached this point, tears actually glimmered at the corners of his eyes.
"And the worst part? There wasn't even a toilet in that room! I held it in all night! All night! I didn't dare close my eyes once. I was terrified that if I fell asleep, my dignity as an Adventurer would collapse completely on those lavender-colored sheets! Megumin was about the same. She spent the whole night curled up in the corner trembling. I could even hear her bladder crying out in agony..."
"Shut up! Kazuma! Don't say another word!" Megumin leapt to her feet. Her legs were still a little weak, but her aura was as imposing as ever. "That was just... just a Holy Water endurance training ritual that the Crimson Demon Clan uses to temper the will! It was not embarrassing at all!"
Kōichi looked at the two companions who had spent the night teetering on the edge of their physical limits, and the lightning of judgment in his heart instantly went out, replaced by deep sympathy.