As dazzling red light erupted from the stone monument at the center of the plaza, the public execution known as the True Name Release Ceremony officially began.
Quite a few members of the Crimson Demon Clan, men, women, young, and old, had already gathered around the plaza. Each of them stood with arms crossed and eyes sharp, as if waiting for the highest form of opera performance.
"Hmph, hmph, hmph. In that case, allow me to show these ignorant fools what the true Abyss is!"
Megumin was the first who could no longer hold back. She flung aside her pitch-black cloak, her staff tracing a perfect arc through the air as she leaped lightly onto the central stone platform.
The Magic Circle instantly caught her voice and transformed it into a grand sound effect with a heavy metal echo.
"I am the Queen of Explosions, lurking within Eternal Darkness and ruling over the Crimson Abyss! This body is the Red Lotus of the End. Let the world tremble beneath my roar! My true name was cast beyond the forbidden long ago. The one who descends here is none other than, [Abyssal Blastflame Sovereign · Explosive Explosive]!"
"Oooh! So cool! The angle of that pose is absolutely perfect!"
The Crimson Demon Clan villagers below applauded in perfect unison. A few elementary school students were even taking notes like mad.
Watching from the side, Kōichi's eye twitched violently. "What the hell is Explosive Explosive supposed to mean?! And that title, Abyssal Blastflame Sovereign, just smashed straight through the ceiling of embarrassment!"
Immediately after that, under Megumin's provocative stare, Yunyun shrank her neck in like a prisoner being led to the guillotine and tremblingly stepped onto the stone platform.
She looked to Kōichi for help, only to find him covering his face, unable to watch. Left with no choice, she steeled herself, shut her eyes, and shouted the lines she had secretly practiced countless times under her blanket the night before.
"I-I am... a lonely star wandering at the peak of the firmament, seeking the bonds of fate... the weaver of illusion and reality... Remember my name, for it is engraved into the void, [Tears of Illusion · Teary-Eyed]..."
Her voice was as tiny as a mosquito's, but with the help of amplification magic, it still spread across the entire village.
"Oh my, Yunyun is the same as ever. Picking such a gloomy nickname. I guess it really is because she has no friends."
"Right? Her magic doesn't feel restless enough either."
The villagers' whispers petrified Yunyun on the spot. She covered her face, rushed down from the stone platform at nearly Teleport speed, crouched in a corner, and began drawing circles on the ground.
Just as the atmosphere began to cool slightly, a blue figure walked onto the stage with an utterly arrogant presence, striding like she owned the place.
Aqua planted her hands on her hips and laughed up at the sky, her flowing blue hair whipping wildly in the breeze stirred up by the amplification magic.
"Hahahaha! Mortals! Kneel before this divine miracle! I am the Supreme Goddess who governs the source of all waters, purifies every impurity in the world, and is revered by countless believers! My radiance shall illuminate this barren land, and my blessings shall pour down like a storm!"
Aqua suddenly pointed at the sky, striking an incredibly exaggerated chuunibyou pose.
"Hear my true name! I am, [Source of Endless Holy Water · Lady Splash-a-Lot]! Praise me! Worship me! Then offer up the best wine in your village!"
The air froze instantly.
Kōichi and Kazuma's feet slipped, and they nearly fell flat on the ground.
They stared in horror at Aqua, who was standing proudly on the stage, then looked around at the Crimson Demon Clan villagers, whose faces showed confusion and even a strange unease.
"La-Lady Splash-a-Lot?! Aqua, you idiot! Do you even know what that word means in certain weird contexts?! And putting a prefix like Source of Endless Holy Water in front of that nickname is criminally misleading!"
"Oh? Lady Splash-a-Lot?" A young man from the Crimson Demon Clan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "It sounds like she has a lot of magic, but something about it feels strange..."
While Aqua was still onstage enjoying the kind of worship that made everyone else cringe hard enough to curl their toes, Darkness could no longer suppress the restlessness inside her. Her heavy armor clanged sharply as she moved, her blush was so deep it looked ready to bleed, and her breathing was ragged, as if she had just run ten kilometers.
"I-Is it my turn? To say something so shameful under the eyes of so many people... Haah... This mental humiliation..."
Darkness staggered onto the stone platform, and the Magic Circle immediately locked onto her.
She clenched her fists tightly, her body trembling slightly. With her eyes dazedly fixed on the sky, she shouted in a quivering voice filled with a dangerous thrill.
"I am the steadfast shield that guards the royal family, a fervent soul dwelling within a body of steel! Even if I am ravaged by countless monsters, scorned by the world, and stripped of all dignity, I shall never yield! Here, I release my true intent. My name is, [The Steel Wall of Suffering: Hard as a Rock]!"
The entire plaza fell dead silent again.
The Crimson Demon Clan villagers looked at one another.
If Lady Splash-a-Lot had only sounded like she was strangely overflowing with magic, then this Hard as a Rock, combined with the beautiful blonde's expression that seemed to beg for immediate public execution, was already beginning to shake the worldview of the pure-hearted Crimson Demon Clan boys.
"H-Hard as a Rock?" The hand of an elementary school student holding a notebook trembled. "Does this big sister... mean her defense is really hard? But why does she look so excited? Help, Mom, this world is so scary!"
Kōichi and Kazuma stood side by side at the edge of the plaza. At this point, their faces could no longer be described as merely awful.
Kazuma stiffly turned his head toward Kōichi, just as Kōichi happened to turn toward him.
In that instant, the two Reincarnators from another world achieved an unprecedented spiritual resonance.
Their eyes no longer held their usual banter or schemes. There was only the determination of men who had seen through life and death.
"Hey, Kōichi, did you see that? Lady Splash-a-Lot and Hard as a Rock are completely beyond saving."
That was what Kazuma's eyes were saying.
"Yeah, I saw it. If we go up there next, tomorrow's headline across all of Axel will be, Pervert Party Annihilated in Crimson Demon Village, cause of death: extreme social death."
That was Kōichi's answer with his eyes.
"...Compared to the pain of having your soul hung from a flagpole and roasted under the sun, physical death is practically a heavenly caress."
"Let's retreat. Before that amplification magic locks onto us, and while the villagers are still trying to process the shock of Hard as a Rock."
The two exchanged no words, but their movements were as perfectly synchronized as if they had trained together for years as special forces.
Kōichi silently took one step back, while Kazuma skillfully began the opening motion for [Lurk]. Maintaining that bizarre rhythm of "as long as I'm not embarrassed, I don't exist," the two slowly, bit by bit, edged toward the dark alley outside the plaza.
"Hey! What are you two shuffling around over there for?" Megumin suddenly turned her head, her red eyes flashing with the gleam of a hunter who had found her prey. "Kōichi! Kazuma! Hurry up and get up here! The grand finale is yours! I've already come up with super-cool nicknames for you, like Shadow of the Sadist · Steal-It-All and Lord of Ashes · Burn-It-All!"
"Run!!!"
No one knew which of them shouted first, but Kōichi and Kazuma instantly burst out with agility far beyond their levels. Their feet practically oiled themselves as they turned into two afterimages, fleeing this hell on earth without looking back under the astonished gazes of the Crimson Demon Clan villagers.
"Stop right there! You two cowards without the Crimson Demon Clan spirit!" Megumin shouted furiously from behind, while Aqua was still on the stone platform waving to the villagers. "Look! Those are this Goddess's followers, so moved that they ran off to spread the gospel! Pay them no mind. Keep praising me!"
…
Kōichi and Kazuma ran for their lives, neither of them daring to look back.
They cut through narrow alley after narrow alley, Megumin's furious shouting and Aqua's oblivious laughter still faintly echoing in their ears.
When they finally burst out of the village and reached the edge of a lush forest, they stopped almost at the same time, gasping for breath.
"Hah... hah... We finally... got away..."
Kazuma bent over with his hands on his knees, looking like he might cough up a lung at any moment.
"This village... is a paradise of mental pollution." Kōichi leaned against a tree, struggling to calm his breathing. "Explosive Explosive, Teary-Eyed, Splash-a-Lot, Hard as a Rock... I feel like my sanity value is about to hit zero. Physical death is a hundred times better than this kind of social death!"
"Exactly! And to think I voted in favor because of some vague promise of a date, only to nearly throw away my dignity at the end!" Kazuma complained indignantly. "I swear, I'm never trusting a Crimson Demon Clan girl's invitation to a date ever again!"
The two kept trading complaints about Crimson Demon Village's bizarre culture while enjoying the quiet of the forest.
But just as Kazuma was about to find a place to sit down and properly relax, his gaze suddenly froze.
"Hey... Kōichi... l-look over there..."
Kazuma lowered his voice and pointed into the depths of the forest in an extremely unnatural tone.
Kōichi followed Kazuma's finger, and his heart skipped a beat.
Not far away, beneath the shade of the trees, a graceful figure stood half-hidden. She was a tall, curvaceous woman with long wine-red hair spilling over her shoulders like flames. Her tight leather outfit outlined her stunning figure, especially the magnificent pair on her chest, enough to make any man's blood boil, which seemed to gleam enticingly in the sunlight.
Her back was turned to them, and she seemed to be admiring something.
"T-this is a Goddess descended from heaven! No, she's even more Goddess-like than a Goddess! Aqua looks like a washboard next to her!"
Kōichi's mind instantly filled with all sorts of unhealthy thoughts, and he started drooling without even realizing it.
"Whoa... that body... those curves... she's practically a work of art!" Kazuma had completely forgotten the shadow of his earlier social death, his eyes glued to that figure. "Kōichi! Did we take a wrong turn? Is this some secret modeling shoot or something?!"
The two swallowed almost at the same time, then turned to look at each other, their eyes full of caution and... competition.
"Ahem!" Kōichi deliberately cleared his throat. "Kazuma, maybe you ran too far and got a little heatstroke. You don't look so good. How about this? You go back to the village and ask Megumin for some water. I'll stay here and keep watch for you."
"Hah? Heatstroke? I, Kazuma Satou, am a man who can hold his pee all night. There's no way I'd get heatstroke!"
Kazuma replied with a righteous look.
"I think you ran so fast your brain short-circuited. Don't you know it's dangerous outside the village? What if Monsters attack? I should stay here and protect you. You go back to the village and find Darkness. Have her give you a full-body massage to relax!"
"Darkness? Are you sure you want her to give me a massage, and not trample me under her feet?"
Kōichi's mouth twitched. "Besides, you're a useless bum who lives off [Lurk] and [Steal]. What exactly are you going to protect me from? I should stay here and observe the situation. You go back to the village and check if there are any new quests, and buy me a drink while you're at it."
"No, no, no. You're the captain, so shouldn't you be the one handling errands like that?"
Kazuma said this, but his feet did not move an inch, and his eyes remained fixed on that graceful figure.
Kōichi refused to back down. He took a step forward, blocked Kazuma's way, and said with a smile that did not reach his eyes,
"Kazuma. Leave a beauty like this to me. You should take what little savings you have and go buy Megumin some materials for Explosion magic. Keep her happy so she doesn't actually blow up the village later."
The two went back and forth, their words flashing like drawn blades.
Kōichi and Kazuma Satou crouched behind the bushes, their eyes meeting with sparks practically crackling between them.
There was no trace left of the miserable state they had been in while fleeing the social-death plaza. In its place was the strange, stubborn obsession of two useless men faced with an absolute knockout.
"Listen, Kōichi, this is my final warning. Leave this dangerous reconnaissance mission to a professional like me, someone with the [Lurk] skill."
Kazuma lowered his voice, his tone full of threat. "Take one more step forward, and when we get back, I'll tell Darkness that you're always staring at her chest, and that sometimes you drool all the way down onto your shoes!"
Kōichi sneered, completely unmoved.
"Ha! Go ahead! Darkness would only take that as a reward! And if you don't leave, I'll tell Megumin that you think about using [Steal] to steal other people's underwear every day. Megumin will definitely hit you with Explosion magic first! Then you really will become Explosive Explosive!"
"Tch. Megumin is easy to handle. Just take her out to blow up some cabbages or praise her for being cool a couple of times, and she'll forget all about it."
Kazuma looked certain of victory, then revealed an even more sinister grin.
"But I won't just tell Darkness. I'll tell Aqua, Wiz, and even hand out flyers at the Adventurers Guild! I'll make sure every woman in Axel knows that the so-called Lord of Ashes is actually a stalker who freezes up the moment he sees a pretty girl!"
"I don't care! My reputation was already flushed down the drain the moment I set foot in this village!"
Kōichi displayed astonishing mental resilience. He even puffed out his chest.
"Compared to being despised by every woman in town, I absolutely cannot tolerate letting a top-tier beauty like this be snatched up first by a scummy Kazuma like you! We're the same kind of trash here. Neither of us gets to threaten the other!"
Just as the two argued until their faces turned red, and were even about ready to kick each other into the nearby sweet potato field, the wine-red figure who had kept her back to them suddenly moved.
She turned gracefully, her long, silky hair drifting in the breeze, revealing a beautiful face that seemed enough to make all flowers pale.
A playful smile flickered in her deep eyes. Her red lips parted slightly, and the voice that came out was as rich and tempting as aged wine.
"Oh my, you two boys hiding over there, what have you been arguing about this whole time? Playing hide-and-seek in the forest can be fun, but if I'm the reason you've started fighting, then that really would be my fault~"
As she spoke, she walked toward them with a catlike stride, her long legs enough to drive any man mad.
With every step, those impressive curves traced breathtaking arcs through the air.
Kōichi and Kazuma froze instantly. As if hit by a binding spell, they stared blankly as this stunning beauty stopped in front of them.
Up close, the distinctive fragrance of a mature woman mixed with the scent of wildflowers washed over them, instantly crashing the brains of these two useless men who had never faced anything like this before.
"Um... um..." Kazuma's sharp tongue vanished in an instant, and he began stammering. "W-we weren't... We were just discussing... discussing the local ecosystem!"
"Exactly! The ecological environment!" Kōichi hurriedly chimed in, even unconsciously striking a pose he thought looked cool. "Beautiful lady, I am Kōichi Hayashi, an Adventurer from Axel, known as the Lord of Ashes. We were merely debating which Goddess could have left a miracle like you, shining with such divine radiance, here in the mortal world."
The beauty could not help covering her mouth and giggling at Kōichi's flattery, and the waves that followed across her chest left both men dizzy.
"Hehe, what a smooth talker. My name is Sylvia. I'm just a delicate woman who got lost while traveling." Sylvia gave a slight curtsy, and a faint red light flickered deep in her eyes. "Judging by your appearance, you must be guests of Crimson Demon Village. Would you mind... showing me around this interesting village for a little while?"
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a glance, and both saw the ecstasy of a plan coming together in each other's eyes.
Kazuma's look said, "Sure, this woman looks a little suspicious, but with assets that huge, there's no way she's a bad person!"
Kōichi's look said, "Who cares who she is? A quest of this caliber is one I'm absolutely accepting!"
The two shouted almost in unison.
"No problem! Leave it to us!"