Watching Darkness's back, which looked like it was about to start smoking, Kōichi heard her mumble, "Th-thank you, Kōichi..." before she shot off like a startled ostrich toward Aqua, who was in the distance challenging someone to a drinking contest.
Kōichi had already rolled up his sleeves. He had even started deciding whether to use [Forced Undressing] or just resort to physical violence to let Kazuma Satou, that professional mood-killer, experience the wrath of his captain.
But when he saw Kazuma's punchable grin, a grin that practically said, I'm in such a good mood today that you can do whatever you want, the anger in his chest was somehow pushed down by an overwhelming curiosity.
"Hey, Kazuma. What kind of jackpot did you hit? Or did Megumin finally get sick of your scummy behavior up on that hill and decide to bury you on the spot, only for you to dig up some Crimson Demon Clan secret treasure?"
Kōichi shot him a sidelong glance, his tone dripping with open disgust.
Kazuma chuckled. For once, he didn't snap back. Instead, he leaned against the red maple tree with a rare look of emotion and gazed toward the distant hill.
"Just now, that chuunibyou girl looked me straight in the eye and told me she wanted to give up Explosion Magic. She said she was going to learn useful Advanced Magic instead and become a proper Arch Wizard who could actually help everyone."
Kōichi froze for a moment, then frowned slightly.
"Seriously? That Megumin? The one who'd throw her life away for Explosion Magic? Did you agree? Knowing you, I figured you'd approve with both hands raised. A Wizard who can cast several spells a day is way more cost-effective than a human landmine who fires once and collapses."
"Yeah, that's what I thought at first too."
Kazuma shrugged, a rare softness and resolve flickering in his eyes.
"But in the end, I turned her down. I told her that if she gave up Explosion Magic, then Megumin wouldn't be Megumin anymore. A scumbag like me may like efficiency, but I like that idiot who yells every day about blowing something up even more. So I put all her Skill Points... into Explosion Magic."
Kōichi was completely stunned.
He stared at Kazuma for a long while, until Kazuma started to look uncomfortable. Then Kōichi finally snorted and smacked him hard on the shoulder.
"Pfft, hahaha! I never saw that coming, Kazuma! Who knew a total loser like you could pull off something that touching? I thought you'd make her learn Create Water to save on drinking water. Looks like I underestimated you. Every once in a while, you actually act like a real protagonist."
"Shut up! I just didn't want her crying in my ear every day about how her romance was gone!"
Kazuma looked away, his face a little red, then immediately fired back.
"What about you? You and that masochistic Knight were getting all lovey-dovey over there. Don't think I didn't see it. What kind of love potion did you feed her to make her show a normal girl's face like that?"
Kōichi smiled and didn't hide it. He briefly repeated what he had said to Darkness, about never giving up on her no matter who tried to stop him.
After hearing it, Kazuma was the one left staring in shock.
He looked at Kōichi as if he were some kind of monster.
"Whoa, Kōichi. I never thought someone like you, who always brags about being scummy and can even go without underwear without changing expression, could say something that emotional. That whole domineering-captain-who-won't-let-you-go routine is more destructive than Megumin's Explosion Magic, isn't it? You're the real girl-killer here!"
The two stood beneath the red maple tree and exchanged a look. One was a captain who seemed proper on the outside but was scummy at heart, while the other was a shut-in who seemed useless on the outside but came through when it mattered. In that moment, they both seemed to sense something in each other that could only be called kinship.
"Hey, in the end, our Party really is made up entirely of hopeless people."
Kōichi smiled as he said it.
"Yeah, but isn't that what makes it fun?"
Kazuma laughed too.
"Hahahaha! That's just like us!"
The two burst into hearty laughter at the same time, though to everyone else it sounded a little sinister, drawing sidelong looks from the villagers passing in the distance.
...
When Kōichi and Kazuma Satou arrived at the village square with their arms around each other's shoulders, the sight before them could only be described as a cult gathering.
Aqua was sitting grandly on a lavish throne carved from Crimson Demon Clan specialty redwood, holding a bowl of Crimson Demon Village's secret aged Daqu liquor that gave off an eerie red glow. Kneeling before her was a row of chuunibyou Crimson Demon teenagers with fanatical looks on their faces.
"Watch closely! This is the sacred art that cleanses the soul! [Nature's Beauty]!! Heyah!!"
Aqua let out a cute shout as the two small fans in her hands whirled through the air. Two thin streams of water shot from her sleeves and precisely formed a blooming lotus in midair, while also drenching the faces of several nearby boys to the bone.
"Ooohhh! As expected of the Goddess-sama who restored our village in a single night! This utterly pointless yet magnificently flashy banquet performance is the very romance of our Crimson Demon Clan!"
"Goddess-sama! One more! This jar of Explosive Red-Braised Wine is yours!"
Aqua stared at the jar of wine, her eyes practically shooting solid golden beams. She boldly wiped the wine from the corner of her mouth and let out her signature guhehe laugh.
"No problem! As long as there's alcohol, I'll even turn the entire Demon King's Castle into a fountain for you! Come on, next! You there, red-haired boy, I can tell you have extraordinary bones. How about joining our Axis Order? New members receive a gift personally blessed by the Goddess... Huh?"
Kōichi walked over expressionlessly, grabbed Aqua by her wildly fluttering blue ribbons, and dragged her backward like a kitten.
"Hey, moronic Goddess. There's a limit to freeloading food and drinks, you know. These villagers already aren't right in the head. If you keep brainwashing them, you'll put the Demon King's Army out of work."
"Let go! Let go right now, Kōichi! You blasphemous shut-in number two! This is called spreading divine revelation. It's a proper job!"
Aqua struggled with all her might, still clutching the unopened jar of strong liquor in her arms.
"And the alcohol here is really, really good! Drinking it feels like fireworks going off in my stomach. I've decided, I'm going to live here until the end of time!"
"Oh? Is that so?" Kazuma Satou folded his arms and sneered from the side. "What a shame. Kōichi just said we're taking the teleportation array back to Axel first thing tomorrow morning. Since you can't bear to leave the alcohol here, you can stay behind by yourself. Once we're back in Axel, all the fine wine at the Guild and the new snacks at Wiz's shop will be ours to enjoy without you."
Aqua froze on the spot. Her alcohol-flushed face went through a perfect transition from shock, to conflict, to despair in just three seconds.
"Huh? G-go back? Now? But... I haven't eaten enough sweet potatoes yet, and there are still more than ten kinds of alcohol here I haven't tried..."
Aqua looked at the wine jar in her arms, then at Kōichi's expression that said he really was leaving. Huge tears instantly filled her eyes and started pouring down like a broken faucet.
"Waaahhh! You're so mean! Why would you say something so cruel when I'm at my happiest?! Kōichi! Kazuma! You two Devils! Scum! Perverted Captain!!"
She lunged forward and clung tightly to Kōichi's leg, smearing tears and snot all over his pants.
"Take me with you! You have to take me with you! B-but before that, can you help me pack up all the stock in the village wine cellar and bring it along? Please! You're the captain, right? Go talk to the village chief and tell him it's the reward for saving the world!!"
Kōichi shook his leg in disgust, only to find she was clinging even tighter than a Slime.
"Keep dreaming. That's robbery! And weren't you just saying you'd live here until the end of time?"
"Who cares about that?! The end of time has nothing on Axel's soft beds and the smell of fancy sparkling wine!"
Aqua sobbed with no shame at all, even starting to roll around on the ground.
"I don't care! If I can't bring any alcohol back, I'll never get up, even if I die here! I'll curse your whole trip back! May your carriage get a flat tire, your teleportation array short-circuit, and your meals have cockroaches in them!!"
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a look, both wearing deeply exhausted expressions.
"Sure enough, no matter where she goes, she always ends up embarrassing herself like this."
Kōichi sighed and looked up at the Crimson Demon Clan villagers who had gathered around.
"Everyone, sorry about this. Our mascot broke. If you want her to quiet down, I suggest bringing two crates of wine over to shut her up. We'll... set off on schedule tomorrow."