Mira's car smelled like coffee and cinnamon gum. She drove too fast, the way she always did when she was angry. Her knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
I stared out the window. The city blurred. Gray buildings. Gray sky. Everything looked washed out, like someone had drained the color while I stood in that church.
"Say something," Mira said.
"What?"
"Anything. You're scaring me."
I turned to look at her. Her jaw was tight. Her eyes kept cutting to me, then back to the road. She had dressed up for the wedding. Red dress. Lipstick. Now the lipstick was bitten off and her eyes were too bright.
"I'm fine," I said.
"You're not fine. You're in shock."
"I'm not in shock." I looked down at my hands. They were folded in my lap, white dress bunched around them. The fabric was expensive. Silk. Kael had paid for it. "I'm just... I don't know what I am."
Mira's breath came out sharp. "I hate him. I hate him so much—"
"Don't."
"Elara, he left you at the altar. He—"
"I said don't."
The words came out hard. Sharp. Mira flinched. I had never spoken to her like that. I had never spoken to anyone like that. Good Elara. Patient Elara. The girl who waited and smiled and made herself small so Kael would stay.
I didn't want to be her anymore.
Mira was quiet for three blocks. Then: "Where are we going?"
I didn't know. Not home. Kael would go there first. He would find me gone and he would panic. He would call. He would text. He would show up with flowers and apologies and that look in his gold eyes that made me forget.
Ninety-nine times.
I had forgotten ninety-nine times.
"Your place," I said.
Mira nodded. Didn't argue. She lived in a studio apartment across town. Small. Safe. No pack ties. No memories of Kael sleeping in my bed, eating at my table, leaving his scent on my skin.
We drove in silence. The radio was off. My phone was off. The world was off, and I was floating in the quiet.
Mira's apartment was on the fourth floor. No elevator. I climbed the stairs in my wedding dress, the train dragging behind me like a ghost. Someone passed us on the second floor. Did a double take. I didn't care.
Inside, Mira locked the door. Three locks. She was paranoid. She had reason to be.
"Sit," she said. "I'll get whiskey."
"I don't want whiskey."
"You're getting whiskey."
She went to the kitchen. I sat on her couch. It was old. Faded blue. I had slept on it before, after the fifth rejection. After the twelfth. After the fiftieth. Mira never asked questions. She just made tea and let me cry.
I wasn't crying now.
She came back with two glasses. Amber liquid. No ice. She handed me one and sat down hard beside me.
"Drink," she said.
I drank. It burned. I drank again.
Mira watched me. She was waiting for the breakdown. The tears. The screaming. I could feel her waiting.
It didn't come.
"Ninety-nine times," she said quietly.
"Ninety-nine times," I repeated.
"How many apologies?"
I thought about it. The flowers. The jewelry. The trips he planned to make up for leaving. The marks he gave me, temporary and desperate, fading within days because his heart wasn't in them.
"Ninety-nine," I said.
"How many promises?"
"Ninety-nine."
"How many times did you believe him?"
I looked at my glass. The whiskey caught the light. "Ninety-nine."
Mira set her drink down. She turned to face me, pulling one leg up on the couch. Her eyes were serious. The doctor eyes. She worked in a clinic, beta wolves mostly, omegas. She knew things about wolf biology that I didn't.
"Your pheromones," she said.
I went still.
"You've been rejected five times officially. Marked and rejected. I can smell it on you. The instability."
"I feel fine."
"You feel fine right now. Shock does that." She reached out, took my hand. Her fingers were warm. Strong. "But Elara, you can't survive another rejection. Your wolf is already damaged. If you don't find a mate, a real mate, soon..."
"I know."
I knew. I had known for two years. Every wolf learned it in school. Rejection sickness. Pheromone collapse. Too many broken bonds and your body forgot how to bond at all. Then you died. Or went feral.
Five rejections. I had five.
Kael had marked me five times. Each time, he left within days. Each time, the mark faded. Each time, a piece of my wolf broke.
I had maybe months left. Maybe less.
"You'll find someone," Mira said. But her voice was hollow. She didn't believe it. I was damaged goods. An Alpha daughter who had been rejected five times. Who would want me?
Kael had ruined me for anyone else.
I stood up. The whiskey was gone. I didn't remember drinking it. I walked to Mira's window. Looked out at the city. Gray and cold and endless.
My phone was still off.
I turned it on.
The screen lit up. Notifications flooded in. Texts. Calls. Voicemails. Kael's name, over and over. Twenty-three messages. Fifteen missed calls.
I opened the most recent text.
Elara, please. She's okay. I knew she wouldn't jump. I'm coming back. Wait for me. I'm sorry. I'm always sorry. Please. Wait for me.
I read it twice. Three times.
He knew. He knew she wouldn't jump. He left our wedding anyway. Just in case. Just because she asked.
I typed a response. My thumbs moved without thought.
Don't come. I'm not waiting.
I hit send. Turned the phone off again. Dropped it on Mira's table like it was hot.
"Elara?"
I didn't answer. I was looking at my reflection in the window. White dress. Messy hair. No veil. I looked wild. I looked free.
I looked like someone I didn't recognize.
And I liked her.
"Mira," I said. "Who's the strongest Alpha you know?"
She blinked. "What?"
"Stronger than Kael. Who?"
She thought. "The Alpha King, I guess. Or..." She stopped. Her face changed. "No. You can't mean—"
"Who?"
"The Rogue King." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Cassian Vane. But Elara, he's not... he's not someone you marry. He's someone you run from."
I turned from the window. "Is he stronger than Kael?"
"Yes, but—"
"Can he save me?"
Mira stared at me. "Your pheromones? Yes. Probably. But Elara, you don't just find the Rogue King. He finds you. And he's not... he doesn't do rescue missions. He doesn't do mates. He was betrayed by his fated mate years ago. He killed three men with his bare hands and she disappeared. No one knows where. He doesn't believe in the bond anymore."
"Good," I said. "Neither do I."
I walked to the door. Picked up my phone. Turned it back on.
"What are you doing?" Mira asked.
"Going home."
"Kael will be there."
"I know." I looked at her. Smiled. It felt strange on my face. Sharp. "I need to pack."