I don't even remember walking to the living room. I just sat down on the couch, staring blankly at the television. The screen was flashing bright colors, people were talking and laughing, but I couldn't understand a single thing they were saying. My mind was too clouded with pain and confusion. I just sat there, counting every second that passed, feeling like time was dragging on while my whole world was falling apart.
Suddenly, the front door opened loudly. My mom stormed into the room, her heels clicking aggressively against the floor. She stopped right in front of me, looked me dead in the eyes, and sat down beside me.
Silence filled the room again, thick and suffocating, until she broke it.
"We already discussed this earlier, Cole. Whether you like it or not, you will marry Talina. And remember, this is our little secret. Only us and her family know. You are not to mention this to anyone else."
I looked up at her, and for the first time in my life, I felt pure disgust and a sharp sting of hatred rise in my chest. How could she be so cold? How could she decide my entire future like I was just an object they could trade, and make me keep it hidden like it was something dirty?
Mom seemed like she was about to burst with frustration. She leaned closer, her voice rising. "It is for your own good! You will marry her, and you will have a better life! You can buy anything you want, anything you ever dreamed of! Look at the powerful image we can build for ourselves after this! Don't you want that? Don't you want to be successful?"
Her words echoed loudly in my head, bouncing around until I felt dizzy. I couldn't believe this was happening. My own mother was forcing me to marry a stranger, and I had to carry this heavy secret alone.
"You're marrying me off to someone I don't even know, Mom!" I shouted back, my voice breaking. "I thought you loved me! I thought you cared about what I want! Why can't you just let me pick the person I can spend my whole life with? Why can't I choose who I love?"
Tears started falling down my cheeks before I could stop them. I looked at her one last time, seeing no mercy, just stubbornness, and I stood up and ran to my room. I locked the door behind me and threw myself on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
I always thought I was Mom's favorite. I was the good one, the one they praised, the one they gave everything to. I thought being the favorite meant I had rights. But now I realized… being the favorite just meant I had the biggest debt to pay. My brother and sister hated me because I got all the attention, so maybe this was my payment. I had to sacrifice my happiness to repay them.
It all started when they found out I liked boys. I'm not gay in the stereotypical way, not a femboy or anything, but I always presented myself perfectly proper just to make them proud. But maybe I was never their son. Maybe I was just a puppet. And now, the strings were being pulled tighter than ever, and I had to hide it from the whole world.