*Heh! What is going to happen? He's going to beat me! If he does, I will probably die because I'm already hurt...*
I was frozen on the spot. The fat villain marched toward me—"Ha! Ha! Say bye-bye to this world because... you're gonna die co—"
The moment was intense. I thought someone would save me but... no one came. The man raised his fist toward me, boasting of the power to crush me. I closed my eyes and then—
***[Smash! Wham!]***
A sound echoed, like someone dropping a heavy ball of clay from a great height. The punch never came, so I slowly opened my eyes. Right then, a voice complained—"Oh man! Shit! I crashed directly into this dirty alley right on top of this bag of meat! Damn authors!"
He stopped his cursing, and our eyes met.
Then, we both screamed at the top of our lungs—
* **He:** "Aaaah! I became a boy's hero!!"
* **Me:** "Aaaah! I became a heroine!!"
We both calmed down after hearing each other's ridiculous comments.
I said, "Hey! You're giving off my exact vibe!"
"It was my line, kid!" he argued.
"So! How did you drop from the sky?! Did a bird lay an egg in mid-air that hatched immediately, and you were the one who fell out?!" I sputtered.
"Eh! Roasting the Roaster! You know who I am? I'm a very popular superhero named—**'DEEDPOOL'**! See my Katanas! See my outfit! Heh? Who the heck are you, chicken?"
"I'm Aqua Sato, a normal guy who was going to his part-time job when a goon called him a rooster," I explained.
"Eh? Rooster? Hmm... and you... you... just **OBEYED** a villain?!"
"..." I nodded.
"What?! You're probably gonna die acting like that!"
"Heh! I don't care! I like hotties."
"What do you mean, 'don't care'?! Who the hell are you?! And... yeah, I also like sexies."
We stared at each other for a brief moment, and then Deedpool asked—
"Eh? How did 'girl' enter our conversation?"
"Heh, I don't know, it just slipped out of my tongue."
He climbed down from the smashed, fatty villain and brushed the dust off his red suit. His costume looked exactly like an American comic book style outfit. His eyes were covered by those white, transparent lenses with no visible pupils, and he had two black-and-red swords strapped to his back.
Once he finished cleaning himself up, he said, "Hey Aqua-kid, for your information: In my superhero world, I was part of a team called the 'X-Men-Force'. I know the name sounds like a condom brand, but hey, I came up with it. How is it? Anyway, after a movie, I was in my room testing a gadget given to me by someone—I don't even know who. Mistaking it for an eraser, I accidentally triggered it in the morning while I was shaving. After putting on my costume, I realized the switch was still on. I tried to turn it off, but the moment I tapped it, I launched into the air and smashed into this piggy."
I remained silent, "..."
Feeling irritated by my silence, he demanded—
"Hey! Drag me to your house! I'm hungry!"
"I was planning to make breakfast, but then this happened."
I walked over and rolled up the shop's shutter. "But I have my part-time job at this grocery store, and I'm already 10 minutes late."
He turned away and waved his hand dismissively in the air. "Then goodbye. I'll go search for other people."
Suddenly, a brilliant plan hit me, and I called out—"Wait!"
"What?" He turned back.
"There is a total hottie working as the cashier. Wanna join me?" I wiggled my eyebrows up and down.
His interest was instantly piqued. "Hmm... not a bad deal... okay! Let's go!"
I smiled.
We reached the shop and stepped inside. Instantly, we both got massive nosebleeds. Even though Deedpool's face was completely covered by his mask, the blood just soaked through and dropped down to his chest.
Lying on the floor, flat on her back right by the cereal shelf, was a pink-haired girl with a ponytail, wearing a white T-shirt and a short, stylish skirt. She was stretching her right hand underneath the shelf. Because her chest was so well-endowed, her breasts were pressed flat against the floor, rubbing against it. To our eyes, it was obvious she wasn't wearing a bra, causing her nipples to poke out prominently—which was exactly the reason for our sudden blood burst.
Looking up at us, she said, "Oh! Aqua-kun! You're here. Please help me get this note. A customer gave it to me, but the draft from my breath blew it right under the shelf. Come here..."
"Yes, yes, I'm coming—" I started to step forward, but Deedpool stopped me.
"Let me do it. I'm the elder here."
"O-okay," I agreed.
But in my mind, I thought: *Heh! I know your true intention isn't to help, it's to get close to Rose.*
Yes, this girl was Rose, and she was one of my companions. In my past life, she was Tsukiko, the MILF. She was the very first girl I met in this world, right here in this grocery store.
"What are you doing, Deedpool?!" I shouted a moment later.
Deedpool had already pulled the note out and handed it to her, but he was shamelessly lying to her face: "Hey! There's a spider on your chest! Wait! Let me get it off!" The moment Rose froze out of fear, he slapped her chest, using the fake spider as a cheap excuse to touch her!
Hearing my shout, he quickly pulled his hand back and lied, "Oh! It got away somewhere."
"Thank you both, Mr.—"
"I'm Deedpool, but you can just call me 'Pool', miss—"
"Rose. Rose Tachibana."
I stepped in, "Stop it, Rose. He's a total pervert."
"Oh!... But you are one too, Aqua-kun..."
Deedpool burst out laughing maniacally at her response, which completely set me off.
"But I have never used a fake excuse just to touch you!" I snapped.
"True... Oh, Sir Pool, what brings you here?" Rose asked.
"Nothing much, Rose-san. I just came along with Aqua. Actually, I saved him from a villain like a total hero."
Hearing this, Rose clapped her hands in admiration. "Wow! You're a hero then!"
"Um... yep!"
"What rank are you?" I challenged.
Pool flinched slightly before bluffing, "Umm... 'X' rank!"
"Wow! 'X' rank?! That's the second-highest hero rank! Wait... the current 'X' rank hero is Amber-sama! You're lying!" Rose instantly caught him in the lie.
I grinned, savoring my small victory.
Left with no choice, Deedpool had to explain his entire situation.
"Wow! But you really are a hero, and it's way cooler that you actually came from a different reality—"
But before she could finish her sentence—
The shop owner shouted from his house, which was attached right next to the store—
"Stop slacking! Get back to work! And Rose! Go home already! Have you forgotten your day shift is over? I'm not paying you for extra time!"
"Aw! Rose hottie, you're leaving already?" Deedpool whined.
"Yeah, it's Aqua's shift now. Bye, buddy—" She grabbed her handbag, waving to me as she left. I waved back, but Deedpool chimed in with, "Bye, sexy!"
She left right as he said it. In that exact moment, as if in slow motion, I yelled—
"Stop FLIRTING!"
"Oh... don't be so uptight. Do your job quickly!" Deedpool shot back.
"Oh! Right..." I walked over to the counter and started my shift. But just like always, absolutely no one came to buy anything while I was on duty. Meanwhile, Deedpool spent the entire time casually eating snacks straight off the store shelves, meaning I had to pay for all of them out of my own pocket.
"You'd better pay me back someday!" I growled at him.
**—To Be Continued...**