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I’m a Weak Exorcist, and the Yanderes Around Me Aren’t Human

daeman124
7
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 7 chs / week.
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Synopsis
Kaito Reizen is the shame of Japan's most powerful exorcist clan. His spells are weak, his attitude is soft, and he keeps making friends with the ghosts he's supposed to destroy. He lives alone in his aunt's old house in Kurami, away from his family, with exactly one roommate — an ancient, silver-haired Umbral named Shizuka who he cannot exorcise, cannot reason with, and absolutely cannot get rid of. She's been attached to him since childhood. She's terrifyingly strong. She is in love with him in a way that keeps him up at night. Between university, a father who gave up on him, a sister who hates him with alarming intensity, and a growing number of very dangerous supernatural women who have decided he belongs to them, Kaito's life is complicated. The ghosts don't make it simpler
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Chapter 1 - That one Umbral...

"Szzz."

The meat sizzled on the pan.

Kaito adjusted the heat and watched the edges brown.

He had woken up early for once, which meant he had time to actually eat before the commute instead of shoving something cold into his mouth at the station.

He propped his phone against the spice rack and pulled up BooTube.

A cooking channel.

He watched the screen, adjusted the seasoning, and flipped the meat when the edges curled right.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The kitchen window.

He ignored it and turned the phone volume up.

Knock knock knock knock.

He kept his eyes on the pan.

One week in his aunt's house. The place was small and a little cluttered from her things, and had a wardrobe in the bedroom she had specifically told him not to open.

"The wardrobe stays closed, Kaito. And if you find anything in there, you leave it alone. If you want to play with something like that, get a girlfriend first."

He had not opened the wardrobe.

The pan spat oil. He stepped back and let it settle.

The food looked done.

He plated it, rice and meat, poured tea, and carried everything to the living room which was dimly lit by closed curtains.

The kotatsu was already warm. He settled under it, pulled the blanket over his legs, and turned on the TV.

He took the first bite.

Better than yesterday.

Yesterday had been burnt at the edges and under seasoned.

Today the meat was tender and the rice was right. He chewed slowly.

The news ran on the screen.

A celebrity had said something about another celebrity. A third celebrity had responded. Kaito ate his rice.

Knock knock knock knock knock.

The sound had moved.

Not the kitchen window now.

The glass pane right beside him, next to the kotatsu. The curtains were drawn and the morning light pressed through the fabric, pale and flat.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock.

He put his chopsticks down.

On the curtain, a shadow.

Large.

Too large for what should be standing on the other side of a ground floor window.

The shape of it was wrong, the shoulders too wide, the outline uneven at the top, something about the proportions that sat wrong.

It did not move.

It simply waited, pressed close to the glass, and the light behind it made it darker than it should have been.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

"Shut up," Kaito said.

The knocking stopped.

He picked up his chopsticks again.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.

"Kaii~~~."

The voice came through the glass, muffled. Sweet. Completely unbothered by being told to shut up.

"Good morning, Kai~~~. Can you let me in?"

He took a sip of tea.

"The food smells— the food smells amazing, Kai~~~. Can I have a taste? Just one taste."

"Let me eat in peace," he said toward the curtain. "Go away."

Silence.

One second.

Two seconds.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.

"Kaii~~~. Just one bite. I am hungry."

"Stop lying." He picked up a piece of meat. "You don't get hungry."

"The smell makes me hungry. One bite and I will be quiet, I promise."

He looked at his plate.

He looked at the curtain.

He looked at his plate again.

He knew exactly what he was about to do. He sat with that for a moment.

Then he exhaled through his nose, got up, grabbed the spare plate from the rack, and served a portion from his own share. Rice. Meat. Not a generous amount.

He walked back to the window. On the curtain the shadow was still there, wide and still, waiting.

He reached out and pulled the curtain open.

The sunlight ambushed the room all at once. He squeezed his eyes shut, let them adjust, and looked at her.

She stood on the other side of the glass.

Shizuka

Silver hair spilling loose in every direction, warm in the morning light.

Red eyes watching him, half-lidded and pleased, patient in the way of something that had been waiting and found the wait worthwhile.

She was taller than him, and the black crop top left her midriff bare, the short jacket hanging open and doing nothing useful.

The mini skirt sat high on her thighs, the thigh high stockings climbing up to meet the hem with a sliver of skin left between them.

The choker sat at her throat.

Her lips were full, curved at one corner, and her hands were clasped behind her back.

She tilted her head.

"Good morning, Kaii~~~," she said, bright and unhurried.

Kaito did not reply. He opened the window, pushed the plate out, and closed the window again.

She caught it with both hands. Her smile stretched wide until the tips of her pointed teeth showed at the corners.

"Tastyyy~~~."

She ate with her fingers, neat and unhurried.

Her red eyes stayed on him through the glass.

He did not put the curtains back this time.

He went back to the kotatsu and finished his breakfast.

The news moved on to a traffic report.

Shizuka ate outside the glass and watched him through it. He did not look at her.

She did not stop watching him.

Soon, he finished eating, stacked the plates, and ran the dishwasher.

Then he remembered about that one plate remaining.

He went back to the window. She was already facing him, plate held out in both hands, empty and clean.

"You are getting better," she said. "Every day a little better. I wish I could eat until my stomach was full of it and keep going."

"I would have to rob a bank," he said, reaching through the gap for the plate.

She laughed, short and soft, and looked away for a moment. "You should not say things like that to a lady. Especially to someone as sexy as me."

He pulled the plate back. Started to close the window.

In an instant, her hand came through the gap and closed around his wrist.

The window stopped.

His hand stopped.

Every small movement in his body stopped at once.

Her grip was light.

She was not squeezing.

She held his wrist and looked at him, red eyes open and steady, the playfulness from a moment ago completely gone.

His free hand came up on instinct, spiritual energy rising in his palm, pale and unsteady.

Pushed forward trying to break her grip.

She did not move.

"Leave." His voice came out flat. "Or I will not feed you again."

She looked at his eyes. Not his hands. Not the glow.

"I just wanted to remind you," she said.

A beat of silence.

"That I love you."

She let go.

He stepped back.

His shoulder found the wall behind him and he stayed there, breathing. His heartbeat was loud. The spiritual energy faded from his palms before it did.

"You are insane," he said, to the glass, to her, to the room. "The first chance I get, I will seal you. I mean it."

He turned and walked back to the kitchen. Set the plate in the dishwasher. Pressed start. Stood there listening to it hum.

Outside, Shizuka watched him through the glass until he disappeared from view.

Her smile returned slowly, spreading wide, the pointed teeth catching the morning light.

She raised the hand that had held his wrist and looked at her palm for a moment.

Then she pressed her tongue flat against it and dragged it slow across the skin.

"Ahh~~~."

Her eyes fell shut. The smile stayed.

Then she stepped sideways into the wall's shadow and was gone.