Chapter 2
"You see that?" Asked Henry, pointing towards the nearing train which was puffing smoke into the sky, despite running on nothing but magic. The legendary black and red Hogwarts Express train was closing in fast towards the train station in Hogsmeade, right where the three friends stood, together with only a few other students and their families, who chose this station as well to get on.
"Yeah?" Answered Sol, already dressed in the standard student uniform for Hogwarts students. He was only missing his house's colours. But that would come later. Henry on the other hand was dressed in ragged jeans and an ugly sweater.
"Your mom is like that."
"Alright, go on. I'm listening."
"Like those train tracks. Laid all over the world."
They looked into each other's eyes, dead serious, as the train slowed down to stop at the station.
"Bruh." Sol stretched out two fingers and poked his friend's gut who jumped in freight while laughing.
"It wasn't my best one, I admit it," sighed Henry and smiled as Sol began laughing.
'You know what you get when you cross bubblegum with trains-' began Podrick the third-wheel. Slowing down further, the train finally stopped. Just with no door near to them.
With Podrick comfortably perched atop Sol's suitcase, they started walking towards the closest entrance.
"Dawg, Pod, that's such a bad one!" Interrupted Henry despite laughing already.
'I got another one, listen!'
"Podrick Heller, shut your mouth," chuckled Sol too as he lifted his heavy trunk into the train. It was loud inside, some children staring at them with wide eyes as they searched for the toilet, friends or a way back to their private cabin.
Sol, Podrick and Henry exchanged glances but didn't care about any kindergarten children.
No one except for adults could hear Podrick anyway. Perhaps it had something to do with magical maturity?
'You know why trains aren't reckless? They're on a predetermined track.'
"Is that what you usually do? Reading train jokes on reddit while working?" Asked Henry, already walking ahead into the corridor inside, as the doors closed behind them. He looked through the windows of each little compartment to find if any was still free without a care.
'I'll have you know, they forbid me from using my phone or reading anything while working. So instead I printed out countless jokes and pretended I was learning for a test or sum.'
"I'm horrified. How many have you memorized? And you know what? We have no phones here either." Sighed Sol in utter desperation and Henry could only groan at the cruel reminder. Podrick flapped his wings, turning his head a full rotation around, looking unbothered.
'Humans lived thousands of years with no phones. You will survive the nineties until they make them affordable again. Maybe as wizards, we can stop the stupid humans from destroying earth!
Btw, there's so many people here! I wanna see the main characters!'
"First we gotta find a spot for us," said Henry, sighing woefully. With a soft pull the train started moving again.
"It's full. You would think they built this train only for Hogwarts students."
'I bet this train also wants to improve its track record at school-'
"Brother, this is the Hogwarts Express. They totally did."
A gaggle of older girl students pressed past them in the rather narrow hallway. Laughing at each other and eating chocolate frogs, they looked unbothered and blissful.
"I'm so single," sighed Henry forlornly, staring after them, standing still. He got a kick in the ass to start moving again.
"You will stay that way. You look ten, bro. No girl wants to be imprisoned for your sorry ass." Sol scoffed and Henry gasped at his words.
'Guess we gotta stay together as brothers.'
"Bros before hoes, that's right." Grinned Sol and Henry huffed.
"You birdbrain!"
'I'll peck your monkeybrain and we will compare sizes, bro.'
Suddenly they stopped moving once again.
"Guys, we have a problem."
Henry blocked the way forward, staying still.
'What's it Huston? You're scared of a wagon with sweets and a nice old lady? Good thing she doesn't have a white truck.'
"She only needs to wave a little ice cream from inside and bam, we would've lost Henry to the kidnapping candy grandma," grinned Sol.
"No! You idiots! She's too wide! We need to get into a room!"
At Henry's words, the two idiots oooh'd in understanding.
'I thought you liked them thick?'
Sol looked over his shoulder into a compartment, seeing seven young girls sitting there, he shrugged.
"The room's all look full. How about we move backwards?"
Henry looked at Sol with big eyes.
"You fucking idiot," laughed Sol at his friend.
Meanwhile, Podrick was flying at window level, looking into the compartments.
"I was just considering the options! Stop laughing!"
'This one's alright, only three people. Get your asses over here!' Called Podrick, red eyes staring back at his friends.
Henry, being the one closest to it, reached his hand out and opened the door.
Inside, there sat a crying girl and two others comforting her.
All parties quieted down immediately, staring wordlessly at the other with wide eyes.
Only Henry turned to stare at his feathery friend who guiltily looked away.
"Sorry, we can go back outside?" Offered Sol softly.
"No, no," replied the crying girl, lifting her eyes.
'She looks like that Cho girl who falls for Harry Potter. Alas, I think I would say that about every Asian girl our age we're going to see.' Now both Henry and Sol glanced at their friend, then back at the Asian girl with the black hair and tearful eyes.
"I'm just- it's nothing," she added as no one talked and her friends stuffed more chocolate into her hands, whispering to her.
Very awkwardly, Henry planted his ass on the seat across, his suitcase wedged between his legs.
Sol joined him just as awkwardly.
'Guys, you're embarrassing us,' sighed Podrick and jumped from his perch atop Sol's suitcase onto the crying girl's lap. With the authority of a big owl that no student could hear, he puffed his feathers and grew even more in size to intimidate.
'Hey, infant.'
He ruffled his feathers and the girl beneath him looked awed.
"He looks so big! Where did you get this owl? Eeylops Owl Emporium didn't have him last time I was there!" One side character remarked with excitement and our boys couldn't have answered.
When that stern Professor McGonagall took them to Diagon Alley - as they were basically orphans who needed supervision and had no help from other adults who could take them there - a lot of chaos ensued. Thus they only went in for a moment, decided an owl is too much work to keep, and went out to get their books.
McGonagall hadn't liked that.
'Yeah, that's what they call me nowadays. Big daddy.'
Sol tried to hold in a snort and failed, while Henry was rubbing his sudden goosebumps.
"Oh my god!" Cried out the other side character girl.
'Actually, no. If I were your daddy I would be in prison. But a voice is whispering, doitdoitdoitnoballsdoitdoit inside my head.'
"Oh my god indeed, this is so unfair!" Wheezed Henry, clinging onto Sol, hanging somewhere between a good laugh and ugly tears.
"He's really cute! Can I pet him?"
"Me too!"
"Sure, sure," chuckled Sol while holding onto Henry who was dying inside.
'Calm down girls, there's enough of me for all three of you.'
Immediately, the second year girls were cuddling the owl and petting him, praising him for how tame and good he is.
"Who wants to pet that dumbass?" Sniffed Henry.
'See me?' Asked Podrick and turned his head around fully, his body unmoving. He blinked at his friends. 'I'm a true rizzler. I got 'em girls while you two suck each other's dicks.'
"I'm gonna break his neck…," murmured Henry, immediately moving far away from Sol to the window.
"Pssh, we just gotta tell him on Gandalf and he won't be our problem anymore," whispered Sol back and Henry pulled a grimace.
"How about we throw him out this window, or I take this magical stick and try casting some magic through his feathery ass…," Henry somehow suddenly held onto his magic wand, which was a light wooden stick with a black handle. Before it could escalate any further, Sol grabbed his friends, apologised to the girls and left the compartment with them.
After the sweets trolley lady passed by, the three friends were free to traverse the hallway again.
The rest of the ride to Hogwarts was peaceful and sadly, they couldn't find a good place to chill before they had already arrived.
Which meant Henry was still dressed in an ugly orange sweater and ragged jeans, while everyone else wore the proper wizard robes used as the school uniform.
He stuck out like a sore thumb, especially with the thick armguard he wore on which a bigass owl perched.
Now, Sol, Henry and Podrick stood in a gaggle of small children, all eager and excited. Some time ago, the older students had all disappeared and gone somewhere else.
"How do you think they will sort us?"
"I got a chocolate frog!"
"It's past my bedtime! I'm knackered!"
"What's that? What's that?"
Least to say, everyone had a lot to say and at the same time, didn't.
"That's a bloody nice owl you got there," said one boy to Henry and Henry couldn't help grinning a bit, nodding and ignoring the boy. When he turned to Sol, he whispered, "I have never before been surrounded by so many small British children. Won't they immediately flag us for being American?"
Sol shook his head.
"Just don't try to antagonize them too much, you're a menace."
In the front by the boats stood a giant, hairy man who spoke with a heavy Scottish accent to two other small boys. The beard looked like it needed a brush, as did his eyebrows and hair. Despite that, he looked gentle in a strange way, like a teddy bear that's just a little too large.
So, the very adult boys looked up at the giant from a safe distance and joked about dick sizes in a roundabout way.
Now, it needs to be said that Hagrid was a big sight and made the three boys all excited about what more was to come.
"The sorting!" Called Henry as he carefully tried to enter into one of the shaky boats, floating on the black lake's muddy and rocky shore as only lamps lighted the dark night. On each boat sat one and in Hagrids hand.
As Henry entered, he fully ignored the other two boys already atop to talk to his friends.
"The food." Added Sol, stars in his eyes.
'I hope the hat doesn't sing,' sighed Podrick.
"What? The hat sings?" Asked Henry and Sol looked just as clueless.
'I read a lot of fanfictions, I think it's a book thing.'
The boat trip wasn't really long but the magnificent sight made it go by so quickly.
Water glistened underneath, the sounds overwhelming in a whole different way from cars, screaming people or whatever it is that makes a city a city - and despite the quiet, it was nearly just as loud.
Young kids talked with growing excitement, forming new friendships. Others laughed as they dipped their hands into the water and splashed around until Hagrid warned of a large Kraken living below. Somewhere by the shore, frogs ribbited and more importantly, water rushed inside their ears and beneath their feet as they moved without rowing.
At the end of the lake was their goal: a large castle draped in black as its many towers reached for the starry sky. It was an enormous sight that burned itself into each mind, so beautiful as it was mystical in the dark, with only lights here and there from some windows, as well as the moon and stars shining above, shaping out the silhouette of Hogwarts.
For these three city-born shits, it was the first time seeing something so magical. The sight hit hard for how far away they were from home.
After half an hour or so, they were back on land. Countless steps up the little harbour presented themselves as an enormous task for little legs like these. But with all the bubbling, almost inescapable excitement present, not one child was complaining.
Though Henry appeared a little green in the face.
"You gotta shit?" Sol asked, patting his shoulder, as both their eyes followed the group of little first year's waddling behind giant Hagrid. He didn't receive an answer, only a glare.
Reaching one of the side wings of the castle, every head shot upwards to take in the never ending stonework of Hogwarts, the light inside some windows luring with warmth and secrets to be unwrapped.
By the large double winged door stood a familiar person, who had once helped the two boys go to Hogsmeade and also to Diagon Alley.
Professor McGonagall was looking as stern as ever, her witch hat sitting perfect atop her dark brown hair and her robes looked just as meticulous. She appeared just a little aged with wrinkles here and there and her mouth constantly pursed.
She waved Hagrid and all the first years closer. Porfessor McGonagall didn't need to talk for everyone to follow her inside the castle.
Once they were inside, she led the group of about forty children through the countless hallways. It reminded one of a labyrinth after a few turns.
Each ceiling, wall and floor looked ancient in a way, it felt akin to walking into a modern museum which was built inside an old castle- a building so old, so tasteful, each decoration looking so incredible, as if made by a master artisans hand and filling an eye's hunger for beauty for a month on its lonesome.
Sol, who had studied art history, looked to be drooling at the sight since earlier.
'Hagrid's gone now,' noticed Podrick and turned his head all around. Yet the gentle giant was nowhere to be seen.
"Hagrid seems nice, let's visit him later," Sol replied and got nods in return.
Finally they entered a rather dark room, only illuminated by magic and candles. McGonagall turned around and began addressing each of them.
But like someone incapable of listening for more than a second, Henry started watching the surrounding children, thinking up nicknames for each little face. That's where he noticed a certain boy with a lightning mark on his forehead, standing together with a dude with orange hair not far away.
"Got him, boys," he proudly made known and Sol raised an eyebrow.
"Who?"
"Don't you know shit? That's our lord and saviour, the boy who lived like everyone else still lives."
'Well he did survive an almost murder, by you know who. Voldesnort.'
"Voldesmut."
"Voilamord."
'Moldlord.'
"This proves a great Riddle."
"I'm not Tomming to term with these stupid jokes."
'Lolmord.'
"We're just riddling around, aren't we?"
Suddenly, they got interrupted in their little game.
"Please, Mr. Miller and Mr. Richards. This is important. Listen or else you will be entirely unprepared for what's to come," the Professor practically scowled at them, her stern blue eyes trained on the two boys looking at her with wide eyes.
Everyone else was staring too, just less hostile than the Professor. Though some laughed when they realised that Henry still dressed in muggle clothes.
"We'll listen, Professor." Said Sol and Henry nodded and he looked away like a person about to commit the crime again.
'Vusslord. Vussylord. I'm so full of ideas!'
Eyeing the bird atop Henry's armguard with poison in her gaze, Professor McGonagall huffed and turned back towards the wider group.
"As I have just told you, you will enter the Great Hall and each and everyone of you will be sorted according to our four houses. There are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. There's no need to be excited. Your only role is to sit at the table of the house you belong to once you've been sorted. For now, all of you will have to wait here. In a matter of seconds I will be back and your sorting shall begin."
'She's so Scottish, that wonderful woman.' Sighed Podrick and both his friends raised their eyebrows at him.
"You into that, dawg?"
"He totally is."
Before they could talk more about the mundane stuff of life, there was something incredibly stimulating happening just a stones throw away- a great standoff between two soon to be archenemies! The maincharacters of the original work!
Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.
Hell, it hasn't even been a minute since the Professor left. And yet they already were going at it like baby cats fighting over food.
'They look like they still need diapers, holy shit, I can't take this seriously!'
"I hope you don't think me and Sol need diapers still, stupid birdbrain."
Malfoy crossed his arms and smirked. His white gold hair glimmered in the candle light and others watched him carefully. He looked rich, yet also like the epitome of a rotten child. Someone who would beat you with money. Yet perhaps there was more to him than that first glance?
But the first words Henry, Sol and Podrick heard rolling off his cherry coloured lips were: "...if my father hears of this…".
As such, they broke out laughing, Sol too could barely hold it in, clasping a hand over his mouth.
As if contagious - or perhaps children were just unsure and copied what others with more confidence do - others too started laughing.
Harry Potter looked satisfied at his enemy's embarrassment.
"Ron is my friend. I won't leave him to join your group!" Like a hero, he stood next to his newfound friend Ron who sniffled happily and proud.
But from his appearance alone he was but a thin, malnourished boy, limbs hurting from abuse and his soul yearning for friendship and the desire to know more.
"Sol, you there?" Asked Henry and Sol turned to look at him and Podrick.
"Yeah, I was just thinking."
Henry grinned up at his friend, ruffling through his hair.
"Yeah I was thinking too. Got this tune stuck in my head for a while now."
"What?"
Henry grinned.
"No. Don't. It's embarrassing." Sol crossed his arms as Podrick's head bounced from one to the other as he listened.
'Sounds fun. They're children. Can they even feel embarrassed?'
"Are children capable of experiencing emotions?" Sol was quick to catch onto the new topic but Henry wasn't ready.
"It's from Queen. Like, Mama~ just killed a man~", he put his hand on Sol's shoulder and forced him to dance a little with him.
'Actually don't bro.'
But Henry couldn't help himself.
"Papa, please help meee~," Sol snorted, turning away but finding no escape from the lunatic he called his best friend.
'You're too loud son! Stop being a show-off!'
"This Harry just stood there, said he'll never be my friend and a no right to my face."
The children quieted down, big eyes looking their way. Whispers suddenly sounded louder than before as fingers pointed.
Malfoy too had spotted the jester and was now red as a tomato. His two goons nervously moved on one spot.
"Crabbe, Goyle! Get him!" cried out Malfoy with a snarl and the two big boys lurched forward.
"What? Stop that! He didn't do anything!" Harry called out and tried to touch the golden Malfoy boy, though his hand was slapped away. It was dramatic.
"How dare you, Malfoy?!" Cried out Ron Weasley.
Meanwhile, Henry had sung some more over their heated argument.
"Papa~ I need my papa~
But now he's gone and I've thrown it all away,
Papaaaaa! Uuuu~
Didn't mean to make you cry~," Henry ended and the whole room broke out in applause. Well, not the whole room.
Actually, it was only Podrick. And he couldn't even clap so he just said 'Clap, clap, clap!'.
"You're crazy dude," sighed Sol exasperated. He grabbed Henry's head and pushed it down before he could do more.
"Ey, stop that!" When Henry freed himself, his eyes met Harry Potter's.
He heard one last "Oh, fuck!" from Sol, flashed a big goofy grin at Harry and then got struck by a chubby fist at his face.
Henry took it like a man.
With the grace of a floppy fish, he fell to the floor onto the gawking Podrick (he had been perched on his armguard). He flapped away in a panic.
Sol gritted his teeth in anger, not even taking a moment to check on Henry. An idiot should be able to take a punch. And with that logic, Sol formed his hands into fists and didn't hesitate even a second.
"You fucker," he cursed and ducked under another throw of the arm of his bigger opponent and struck the boy in the middle of the chest. Crabbe inhaled sharply, whimpered like a dog and finally fell like a mountain.
"What?" Sol stared down at him, barely reeling his anger back in to not step onto the big guy when his eyes focused on Draco Malfoy seething in anger a few metres away.
"That took it a little too far, don't you agree?" He basically sneered back which made the boy flinch. When he took a step forward, the boy flinched again, eyes roving around.
Podrick in the meantime had clung onto Goyle's trembling hand and was daringly staring at him to do something.
"Pod, come here," came Henry's voice from the floor and he immediately flew over to him. "Sol, stop stepping on him." Sol shrugged and stepped back again.
"You didn't win." Said Draco Malfoy to our boys, eyes darting towards the angry duo next to him and he snapped his fingers. "Stand up, Crabbe. Come here, Goyle. We will teach them a lesson later."
It was the right decision. Just as Henry got back up, holding his cheek and slightly bloody lip, and when the two goons joined their master, the Professor came back.
McGonagall's eyes swept the room and narrowed at the sight.
Something had happened and it didn't make her happy, but knowing there was no time for this, she decided to not drag it out.
"Henry Richards. Draco Malfoy. We will talk tomorrow in my office. Also, Richards, I trust you already planned to change into proper garments immediately once inside your dorm." She didn't deem it proper to say more about that topic.
"Now, follow me inside. Your sorting awaits."
'Inside' looked like a child's fantasy.
Candles floated high in a ceiling where the stars sparkled, the walls were old and fancy and everywhere you looked, older students stared back at you.
Henry held his burning lip and looked at Sol, who seemed worried.
"Be honest, man. He's right behind me, isn't he?"
Sol glanced over the shoulder of his friend. There, between the others, stood the now very much peaceful blond ferret boy.
"Yeah, he is. Still can't believe he sent his minions to slap you just because you're a stupid git."
"Can't fault him, I should've known he's got a daddy complex."
'Shh, it's beginning!'
All around it became quiet at the clap of hands by Dumbledore.
The older students at the long tables left and right shuffled in their seats or were not even paying attention at all.
On the left were the Hufflepuffs, loyal and friendly, as well as the Slytherins, cunning and mean. To the right sat the Ravenclaws, intelligent book nerds and the Gryffindors, proud and stupid too.
At the end of the room, facing the first years and all other students, was a long table filled with teachers. Some grumbled in hatred, others looked happy and excited. But in the middle sat no one else but the great Mithrandir, Dumbledore the Purple.
He still held his hands up, smiling with mischief.
Up above, candles floated in a sky full of stars, illuminating the room as they floated about.
McGonagall stepped forward, right beside a little stool on which sat a big, dirty hat. She lifted a long piece of older parchment and the hat into the air with both hands.
"Now when I call your name, you will come forth and I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head," she left a meaningful pause, many children gulping nervously. "And you will be sorted into your houses."
Then, names upon names were called.
A little girl had to start, trembling and clenching her eyes until the ragged hat called out her house in a booming voice.
"Miller, Sol!"
Henry gave him a thumbs up and Podrick cooed.
With calm steps he went up the three or so stairs to where McGonagall stood. He sat down. As he looked at the eager faces of his fellow graders and at the older students, his heart clenched, until his gaze fell onto that stupid Henry grinning from ear to ear in that goofy muggle outfit which really stood out.
Then, a weight was put onto his golden mane and the world turned black as the hat fell onto his nose.
'Oooh, interesting.' Said a voice inside his mind and despite knowing about it, Sol shuddered at the feeling of being practically naked.
"So what do you think? Was I a good boy?" He joked.
'Yes, good and proud. So loyal despite the hatred for you kind. You only believe in those who proved their worth to you, don't you?'
Sol didn't say anything.
'Wonderful. You come from the future? No, no, you really don't… It just means you're older. Harder to sort. But I think I know just where you will thrive based on your core.'
"Where?" He asked and the next moment, the hat called out loud.
"SLYTHERIN!"
Sol raised his eyebrows and stood up, taking off the hat before McGonagall could and giving it to her. His table politely clapped until he joined them. Though one blonde Malfoy was staring at him with anger, having already been seated here first.
When he sat, his eyes searched for Henry, who grinned and waved at him completely unbothered, still standing in the middle of the flock of first years.
It didn't take long until Henry sat atop the stool and Podrick went to join Sol so as to not disturb the sorting.
The miffy old hat was placed on his head and Henry could hear it mumbling almost immediately.
'Oh, curious. Another one. You're full of adventure and oh, what is that melody? Wait… Stop. Stop! Stop singing! How can you repeat the same line for so long?!' At the end, the hat got loud and a few students chuckled. Henry was startled.
'You look like a Hufflepuff, but you desire more. Adventures? A girlfriend? This is something you wanted for so long, to break out of your previous life and become free. Your wish for adventure, your heart and courage belong only in GRYFFINDOR!'
Henry smiled.
'I don't see you getting a girlfriend any time soon, boy.'
Henry lost his smile and blinked perplexed. When stood up, very much red in the face, he blinked some more before he stormed to his already celebrating table.
When he looked for the Slytherin table, he found that he had lost his friend out of sight. Who would he tell about that stinky hat now?
____
End of chapter 2.