Cherreads

I Became the Simp Character I Roasted Online

alvahraaaa
Listen to me closely. Never, and I mean NEVER, leave a hate comment on a game forum right before you die. My name used to be... well, it doesn't matter. I was a 34-year-old salaryman who died in the stupidest way possible. How? I got slapped to death for grabbing a high school girl’s "assets". Wait, hold on! Don't look at me like that! It wasn't my fault, okay? My hand just moved on its own! It was just a tiny, split-second intrusive thought! Come on, you guys reading this—don't act like saints. You’ve had those dark urges too, right? You’ve wanted to grab something forbidden at least once in your life, right?! RIGHT?! Anyway, she slapped me. So hard my soul literally ejected from my body. I thought that was the punishment. I was wrong. When I opened my eyes, I was in [Legends of Valtheris]. Yes, that trash game. The one with the cliché plot where the world ends because some teenage students get their hearts broken. And the worst part? I didn't become the Hero. I didn't become the Villain. I became Revan von Alstaire. The background character. The loser. The guy I literally insulted online five minutes before I died. I called him a "Simp" and laughed at his "Tiny D*ck." Fate is truly a comedian. Now, I’m destined to be the bullied lackey of the future Villainess, Sylvia von Vespera. The game script says I should lick her boots, accept her abuse, and die with her like a loyal dog. Screw that. Remember my last comment? "Revan is such a loser! Tiny dck! If I were you, instead of bowing down, I would squeeze her boobs and own her completely! Garbage character!" Well, it seems God took that personally. Fine. You want a show? I’ll give you a show. I won’t be a simp. I won’t filter my words anymore. I’ll let my intrusive thoughts win. I’ll turn this trash plot upside down—even if I have to slap every "Genius" in this academy to do it.
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Douluo: Pill Martial Spirit

Ye Tian transmigrated to the Douluo world. Awakening a Pill Spirit, he became an unprecedented support-type Soul Master with Innate Full Spirit Power. Taken as a disciple by Bi Bi Dong, he met his childhood friend Qian Renxue. Overpowered Spirit Rings and miraculous Pills. The young Pill King rapidly gained fame! Several years later. The Marrow Cleansing Elixir expelled impurities and enhanced his physique, forging an innate body! Breaking through to Spirit Saint, his Domain Awakened. The evolution of the Flawless Nascent Pill brought infinite possibilities... One pill preserved youth, one pill saved lives, one pill annihilated an entire clan! The Yin-Yang Reversal Pill made Tang San and his master tremble with fear! Enhancing Innate Soul Power, promoting Spirit Evolution, creating Titled Experts... The entire continent echoed with the name of Pill Saint! Factions in the Soul Master world sold all their possessions, yet a single pill remained hard to obtain. Faced with mountains of gold and silver, Spirit Bones and Spirit Beasts, status and beauties, Ye Tian paid them no heed. He lacked none of these—he only sought to become a god! But gradually, Ye Tian realized he might have underestimated his potential. The Flawless Nascent Pill already held infinite possibilities! God of Food? He no longer cared! One day in the future. Tang San stared wide-eyed as Ye Tian arrived riding a sword. "Wasn't your Spirit a pill? How can you be this strong?!" "Isn't a Golden Pill still a pill?" Beneath an Auspicious Cloud, Ye Tian replied thus. "Golden Pill?!" Tang San froze, completely breaking down as he cursed. "Damn you! Cheater!" "A Golden Pill enters my belly, my fate lies in my hands, not heaven's!" "This might be an exaggeration in other worlds. But sorry, this is Douluo." "From today onward, I am the First Golden Pill of the Douluo universe!"
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