**
You thought I'd try to keep the pattern going, didn't you? Well, you thought wrong. Mwahahaha! I'm going crazy, aren't I? Seriously though, what's up with my isekai journey? No translation, no cheat skills—nothing! I guess my memories are kind of a cheat, but they're not exactly helpful right now. I don't understand a damn thing. And why didn't I just take over this kid's body when he was, like, five? Even three would've been fine.
Hello, God? Can you hear me? I'd like a health counselor, please. No? Then how about a companion or something—someone or something that can talk to me? No answer? Maybe this is actually the devil's work.
Speaking of the devil's work, I don't get people who don't think things through. I mean, come on, how can you not realize it's a scam when someone offers you money to commit suicide? Like, how dumb can you get? Oh, and speaking of dumb people, I once saw this guy trying to push a door that clearly said "PULL." I couldn't help but stare and think, *What a moron.* Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, the guy called over the staff and started berating them. That's when I, being the kind soul I am (*ahem*), pointed out, "You're supposed to pull the door open, dumbass. There's even a sign for people like you." After that, I scurried away.
Yeah, not exactly subtle, but I couldn't hold back when faced with such nonsense. Anyway, I've heard that babies have short attention spans, and now that I've become one, I can confirm it's true. Why else would I keep jumping from one topic to another mid-sentence? It's definitely not because I ran out of things to say.
Speaking of random topics, don't you find phone autocorrect annoying? I get that it's supposed to fix mistakes, but why does it change perfectly fine English words into something completely different? That used to give me headaches back on Earth… and now I miss my damn phone. *Sigh.* Another sigh, another five seconds of my life gone. It's like my purpose here is to reduce my lifespan with the sheer number of sighs I've taken in just 3-4 days.
Anyway, moving on with life. How does one train in magic? No idea. How does one train in swords? Repeated slashes—horizontal, vertical, and quick draws to get the sword out of its sheath faster. Aish, I always thought I'd be better suited for older times without guns, but this isn't what I meant. Yes, I'm complaining to God about this. I wonder if I'll wake up after this journey. If I do, I'm definitely writing this life as a novel back on Earth—assuming I even remember it.
Speaking of novels, I love mysteries. Sherlock Holmes, Poirot—I've read them multiple times. I like to think I'm good at figuring out the culprit, but I find it a bit challenging to piece together their motives.
Now that we're on the topic of crime, there was this one time I saw someone get "robbed" in broad daylight. Being the nice guy I am, I helped explain to the "victim" that they were using the wrong phrase. Oh, you thought someone was stealing something? Nope. It was just the neighborhood auntie haggling with a street vendor over prices, yelling like the guy had murdered her parents or kids. Lady, calm down. He can hear you just fine, and we don't need to hear about whether you're having an affair or not. Pardon my French—it's not up to standard yet. I'll get there someday, but for now, I'm focusing on other things.
Speaking of focusing, I have something to say about that. No, you can sigh all you want—I'm still going to say it. Lately, back on Earth, the news was obsessed with how teenagers are "dumb" and can't make their own decisions. To anyone who thinks that, please grow up. Sure, teenagers can be emotional, but most of them do think before acting. You're just generalizing an entire group based on a minority. That's exactly what the so-called "dumb" teenagers do—take the minority as the majority and judge everyone accordingly. Oh, the world we live in… or, well, the world I *used* to live in.
Okay, time for some honesty. Honesty is the best policy, after all. It helps people grow closer, and you should only stay silent if you're ignorant or can't tell the truth. So, here's the truth: I had nothing to do today, and nothing came to mind for the story I'd write once I learn this damn language. So, I wasted the whole day being fed, bathed, and carried around like a baby.
Yes, I went outside. It wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. This world looks pretty much the same as Earth, except for a few minor differences—like the color of the sun and the fact that there are two moons. Oh, you're wondering when I noticed the moons? It was last night… or early this morning… or midnight. I can't figure out what to call that time of day for the life of me.
Anyway, the day's about to end, and I'm sleepy as hell. So, I'll leave you with this: There are things you're supposed to do and things you're not supposed to do. In my opinion, whatever it is, sleep on it. It'll do you good. Thus, our MC spent his day and slept—wait, I'm still awake! Get your narration right! Seriously, people like you are why countries don't function efficiently. Would it kill you to do your job properly and on time? It's like you think you're entitled to money without actually working.
Ugh, that just soured my mood. I better sleep on it. This time, get it right. We're not shooting a movie where you can yell "Cut!" and do it again with more "feeling." Got it?
**Chris used Sleep.**
**Chris resists it.**
**Chris used Yawn.**
**Not effective.**
**Chris used Later.**
**The move is locked.**
**Chris used "Screw you, I'm going to sleep and I don't care about the rules."**
**Invalid move.**
**zzz.**
**What you're doing is a breach of rules. You may be disqualified.**
**zzz.**
Damn that rascal. And thus, our anti-hero slept quietly as your favorite narrator whispers his lines. That's right—I'm the narrator. *Ahem.* Okay, fine, I'm Chris. So what? I'll leave it here and sleep honestly this time. Good night.
---
**Author's Note:**
This chapter might seem like filler, but it's not. It's here to hint at the timeline of the MC and give a little insight into his surroundings. It's *definitely* not filler. I'm telling the truth—it's not filler. But this author's note? Yeah, that might be filler.