My words seem to ease the tension on Ryan's face. He immediately looks more relaxed, his features softening.
"Then you wouldn't mind me giving you a lift home?" he asked, hopeful.
I go to tell him that a lift is not necessary, that I can find my way home, but he just extended an olive branch; it would be inhumane to reject his offer of a ride.
"Of course," I smile at him, my smile still stiff even though it seems we have resolved our misunderstanding.
But have we?
All I get is his denial, not an apology, or even an acknowledgment of what happened years ago. How can things be okay between us?
Together, in silence, we head for the lift. The silence between us wasn't awkward or comfortable. You could feel there was something there, a simmering sort of energy, but neither of us seemed willing to acknowledge it, so it just followed us.
Was it sensual?
Partly?
And then something else.
Probably because of our past.
At his car, he went around and opened the door for me, and I thanked him. When he came around and joined me inside the car, his phone started ringing.
With everything that has happened, I haven't had the chance to snoop. Not his office and certainly not his phone.
I tried to see who was calling, but it was a privacy screen, so I relaxed my strained neck. Good thing he wasn't paying attention to me; instead, he was frowning at his phone.
I tried to pretend I was busy with my phone as he picked up the call, but part of my ear was stuck on his conversation.
And this is what I heard from his side of the conversation.
"You did what!"
I jumped slightly at his sharp tone. He sounded angry and frustrated. I quickly stopped pretending not to listen and listened fully.
From his tone, it seems something terrible just happened.
While he listened to the other person talk, I saw him rub his forehead, as if dispelling a headache.
"How many times am I going to bail you out of trouble? He is your husband, for God's sake!" he speaks sharply into the phone, sounding a little frustrated, even though he doesn't want to raise his voice.
From what I have known about him, I don't think Ryan loves raising his voice. He is a man who loves to be in control.
This much discipline is so unexpected from the free-spirited young man I met earlier. The boy I met several years ago looked like he loved to have fun, not someone shackled by so many responsibilities like the man sitting beside me.
I blinked out of my thoughts and returned to his end of the call.
The end of the conversation piqued my curiosity about who he was speaking with on the phone.
Whoever it is, he surely tries his patience.
Staring at him from one corner of my eyes, he looks like a man with a lot on his shoulders. The tension is back on his face, and he is clutching the wheels like he wants to break them.
What happened?
I tried to figure it out from his side of the conversation, but he isn't giving me much. Either the conversation doesn't require long responses, or he is being careful because of my presence.
I would imagine a family like the Blackwells would keep their secrets very well. I have been working at Dynasty for a week now, and I have yet to have an opportunity to go through his things.
Ryan is always in his office, and when he is not there, he takes me with him.
And his phone?
It never leaves his sight.
"I am coming," he barks into the phone. "And don't do anything stupid."
He ends the call and, for a moment, rests his head back against his seat like he is trying to gather his composure.
"Are you okay?"
The concern in my voice was genuine. I wasn't asking because I want to pry or out of obligation. Those too, but also, I honestly want to know if he is alright.
There is something about seeing that drained look on his face that tugs at my heart. He looks like someone who always has to be strong for everyone and never gives himself a chance to be vulnerable or lean on someone.
I am not offering, though. I mean, there is a limit to my compassion, especially to a man who destroyed my world. Seeing how hard his life might be doesn't change anything.
Though good to see he doesn't have it all good either.
"It is my sister," he answers, his tone tired. Looks like his sister has been a thorn in his side, and he is almost out of patience.
I hadn't expected him to answer. Would have thought he would brush me off or deflect, but his honesty came as a surprise.
Not wanting to assume, even though it is pretty obvious what is happening, I asked. "Is she alright?"
Now, this is me being nosy for my sake and also out of honest curiosity. I was looking for something juicy I can use. Even if it is not, I want to know what this sister of his has done.
She must be a character if she could destabilize her unflappable brother.
"Yes. Just in a mess that I need to fix."
Again, the honesty.
Does this mean he trusts me? Ryan doesn't look like one who trusts easily or speaks his thoughts loudly.
So why then does he act differently with me? Is this a tactic for something more nefarious?
I will bet the latter. I will bet he remembers and is just messing with me. That kind of sadism is not beyond the boy I met several years ago.
I was tempted to ask what mess, but I didn't want to tip him off that I was prying.
"You know, if you have to be somewhere else, I can find a ride home." I go to unbuckle my seat belt.
I was being sly. I want him to invite me, so I act coy. Pretending to be considerate, hoping he bites.
"Wait!" he says.
I smile.
See. I, too, can be cunning. He is not the only one who could play games.
When I turned, I wasn't smiling, though. I kept my expression blank while I gave him a questioning look.
"Don't be silly. I promised to give you a lift home, and that is what I am going to do. But first, we would take a little detour. That is, if you don't mind being out a little later."
I looked hesitant. He mistakes my acting coy for me being worried about coming in early tomorrow.
"You can come in late tomorrow," he sweetens the pot.
He is taking me to fix a family mess. Isn't it wonderful how the universe works?
"I don't mind." I did my best not to sound too eager so that it wouldn't raise any alarms.
"Thank you," he says, and drives off.
"You are welcome," I whispered, my thoughts drifting off on whatever secret I get to uncover this evening.
We arrived at a very posh neighborhood and stopped beside the third apartment in the lineup.
Even if I save for the rest of my life, I would never afford an apartment here.
I stare at the beautiful, ultra-modern building with envy, praying that in my next life I will be born rich.
Rich people don't just have the finer things in life; they also get away with a lot.
It must be nice to be above the law. To know that you are untouchable and can do whatever you want.
"Your phone, please."
At Ryan's request, I snap back to the present. "Excuse me?" I narrow my eyes at him, slightly confused by his odd request.
"It is either that or you stay in the car, and I am not comfortable leaving you alone at this time of night."
"So, you what? Confiscate my phone?" I stare at him in disbelief, irritation simmering in my eyes. "I am not a child!"
Despite my raised tone, he replied in a calm, level voice.
"I never said you were. He says in a reasonable tone, which annoys the fuck out of me. Whether he meant it that way or not, I found it a bit patronizing.
"This is about my family, and one can never be too careful," he adds.
I understand why he is being cautious, and for a good reason, but he doesn't know that I am here for a reason, or does he?
He did say he knows my secret. Do you think he meant this?
"Are you saying that I am going to broadcast whatever I see in your sister's house, or worse, sell it to the reporters!"
Despite my indignant yell, he remains calm, his expression patient.
"Look, Lyra, I am not accusing you of anything. And I know you wouldn't stoop so low as to sell our secrets; that is not the kind of person you are. But this is a precaution we take with everyone. Like I said, with a family like ours, one can never be too careful, and my family is important to me. I take their protection seriously."
His expression hardens when he talks about protecting his family. The look in his eyes terrified me.
To what length would he go to protect his family? Have I misjudged him all this time? Has he really changed? Or is he hiding that sadistic part of him very well?