The path behind the school was quieter than I expected.
The late afternoon air carried a faint breeze, and somewhere far away came the muffled crack of a baseball bat striking a ball.
I followed the faint smell of dust and grass until I reached the row of old metal bins tucked in the corner.
Just as I leaned forward to lift one of the lids, a soft sound stopped me.
"Meoow~"
A cat?
Then, after a brief pause.
"Nyah~ Nyah~"
…A person?
I leaned sideways and peered around the corner.
And there she was.
Kido crouched low on the ground, her uniform skirt brushing the dirt, and a small gray kitten rolling over in front of her.
She held up her hands in little paw shapes, quietly mimicking its sounds. The kitten batted at her fingers and meowed again, its tiny red collar jingling faintly.
The girl everyone called distant and perfect was kneeling in the dirt, meowing back at a cat like a child.
Then, inevitably, the kitten noticed me.
It froze and its gaze flicked to the side.
Kido followed it.
"Ah."
Our eyes soon met.
"Ah."
After a few seconds of paralyzing silence, Kido finally snapped out of it and her face turned crimson red.
"Na–Naoki?! What are you– how long have you been standing there?!"
Kido's eyes darted between me and the cat.
She tried to clear her throat, but her voice came out two octaves higher than usual.
"This–" She struggled to say while trying to remain calm. "Isn't what it looks like! I was, uh, just… testing a theory!"
"…A theory?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Yes! About feline response patterns! For, um… science."
An awkward silence followed.
And soon the kitten meowed again.
It didn't take long for Kido to deflate, realizing how weak her excuse was.
"Oh god…" she muttered as she sank down, pressing her hands over her face. "How much did you see?"
Probably the most embarrassing part…
I scratched the back of my neck. "Just the part where you were… communicating with the cat..."
She groaned softly, and a muffled "Just kill me now" escaped through her palms.
Soon a small gap between her fingers revealed an embarrassed frown directed at me, "You know, it's rather rude to watch other people secretly like that…"
"Sorry," I replied without even realizing.
Even if I hadn't done it on purpose, it still felt like I was guilty.
"I was just taking out the trash…" I replied trying to justify myself, "It wasn't my intention to just interrupt you and your little cat friend…"
Kido suddenly seemed flustered for some reason.
"C-cat friend?! W-what ever could you mean?!" She stuttered, "I-I'll have you know I plenty of other friends! It's not like this cat is my only company."
Despite her pompous attitude, she couldn't even look at me in the eyes as she said that.
That cat is her only friend isn't it…
I couldn't help but stare at her with pity.
Even understanding her situation, this was just a bit too sad.
I let out a sigh and walked closer.
Kido slightly recoiled back in response but didn't move from her spot.
Soon I was crouched in front of the kitten and the pitiful girl next to it.
I tried to pat the small kitten, but it quickly took cover behind Kido's leg and hissed at me.
"Nyandalf!" Kido called out, scolding the cat.
Nyandalf?!
What sort of name…
"Sorry, he's a bit…" Kido continued while looking back at the wary cat.
"Cautious around strangers, isn't he?" I finished off.
Kido slowly lowered her hands and glanced at the kitten now curled beside her shoe.
"Yeah… he usually doesn't let others get close to him…"
She stroked Nyandalf's head, and the kitten purred loudly. "I think he used to belong to someone. But he's been around the school for months now, always running and hiding from people."
"Well he sure seems to like you a lot. You even got to name him." I replied.
Kido eyes widened and she made a funny expression, realizing she revealed the cats unique name, "Ah yeah… Nyandalf haha… silly name right…"
"Well it's very creative for starters, so does he know how to cast magic?" I replied half-jokingly.
She seemed to think about it for a second while averting her gaze, unsure if she should entertain my question.
"Well… I guess he's really good at vanishing all of a sudden."
Kido then slightly straightened up as if remembering something, "Oh, and I do suppose he somehow manages to eat food twice his body size, that's gotta count as magic right?"
She said she looked at me with an unsure and quite adorable expression hidden behind the sleeves of her uniform.
I couldn't help but scoff, "So he can disappear and make food disappear huh? I guess he is worthy of his name."
"Somehow I feel like you're making fun of me right now…" she replied looking embarrassed once again.
"Just a little bit." I replied.
"Jeez… as if being seen talking with a cat wasn't embarrassing enough…"
"Well at least I now know how you got the cat to like you so much."
Kido momentarily looked at me, and then turned to the cat that kept rubbing it's back against her.
A soft smile formed on Kido's face, "He wasn't always this friendly with me you know? And to be honest… it was just a coincidence that I found him."
She let out a small laugh. "At first, he wouldn't even get close to me." Kido said as she turned to the sky, as if reminiscing about something. "Maybe he was hurt or abandoned by its previous owner… but he always seemed afraid."
The kitten stared at me meanwhile, as if examining my face with curiosity.
"It took a long time to build up his trust. Sometimes he even bit or scratched me whenever I got too close… but in the end… it was worth it. Now he's happy every time he sees me."
She seemed nostalgic and proud as she said that and soon the kitten climbed into her lap, kneading her skirt with tiny paws as if to prove her point.
Kido meanwhile laughed faintly at its actions.
"In the end… I guess he just wants company." She said while holding the cat. "Though… I suppose everyone does, right?"
I wasn't sure if she was trying to tell me something indirectly, or if she really was still talking about the cat.
Regardless, I didn't know what to say in response and simply remained silent.
And for a while after, neither of us spoke.
The wind stirred, scattering a few leaves across the ground. The sky was also now dimming into the colors of the evening, with the soft orange light now darkening.
The only sounds near us were the faint rumbling purr of Nyandalf and every so often the miscellaneous noises coming from clubs practicing from afar.
How awkward…
I stayed there crouched, trying to think of something interesting or clever to say. A way to stir the conversation forward and end this silence that became more and more unbearable by the minute.
But nothing came to mind… and that's just the reality.
Unlike novel protagonists I don't know the exact words I should be saying to her right now.
Words of comfort? Make a joke? Blurt out a cringy heartfelt apology? Sympathize with her? Tell her the truth? Lie to her?
I don't know.
These situations are just painful reminders that nothing is ever straightforward like light novels make them out to be… there isn't a magical line that can fix everything or undo our actions.
I also don't know if what I'm doing is the right thing, nor what I should do from now on.
Hell, there's not even dramatic or emotional music playing for us.
No funny love cupid-like creature to help me out and no love goddess only I can see to lend a hand, there's no one to help me figure out what to do.
All that truly remains is just this awkward and uncomfortable silence...
And that's just, reality.
I also know better than anyone else that there truly is no correct choice.
That much I've garnered from my previous relationships…
and yet…
I can't help but think.
What is the correct choice?
This girl is blatantly suffering in front of me, and somehow, I'm meant to deceive her even further…
Can I really do that? All for the sake of avoiding this so-called cliché life? All to protect my peaceful high school career? All to avoid making the same mistake from the past…?
Sigh~
Why can't this type of situation just stay in novels…
As I kept trying to think of what to say or do, a sudden, bitter memory from my old school came to mind.
'Why do you even bother to help them?' A girl with black hair speaking with an indifferent tone and eyes devoid of emotion, 'You never get anything in return.'
That day…
I wonder, what did I say back then again?
That's right, that day those three looked at me with that expression.
"Kido" I tried to speak before I was cut off.
"You know…" Kido spoke, almost absently, "there's this old saying that cats forget their owners after three days."
Her tone was thoughtful, almost sad.
"…Is that true?" I asked, trying to sound normal, but the words came out quieter than I intended.
She nodded slowly. "It's kind of ridiculous, right? A cat can spend years with someone; being fed, cared for, loved. Then… just three days apart, and poof… they forget all about you."
The kitten pawed at her sleeve as if asking for attention, but she didn't respond. Her eyes had gone distant, fixed somewhere else.
"It doesn't make sense," she continued, her voice trembling just a little.
She then turned to me, with the same expression when she asked if I remembered her.
"I think… it's not that simple…. Those bonds, they can't fade that easily… right?"
I could feel the weight behind her words.
Kido finally looked down at the kitten again and forced a smile. "Cats remember. Maybe not everything, but they remember the warmth, the voice, the soothing feeling of being cared for."
The wind shifted again, brushing her hair across her cheek. She tucked it behind her ear, but her expression stayed faintly melancholic.
Then suddenly, before I even got a chance to answer, it seemed as if she had reached her own conclusion.
"I'm sure of it," she said. "They remember…"
For a long moment, we just stood there, crouched next to each other, me still holding onto a half-empty trash bag like an idiot.
This time it'll be different.
"They do." I finally replied. "That whole deal of cat's forgetting someone in three days is just a myth. So… cheer up alright?"
Kido looked at me for a moment before making a soft calm smile.
Her expression was easy to read, 'you're just saying that to be kind, aren't you?' is probably what she was thinking.
She then exhaled softly and stood up, dusting off her skirt.
When she turned to face me, the melancholy was gone, replaced with a calm, knowing expression.
"I know why you're here," she said.
I could feel my body tense up.
"…You do?"
"Yeah," she said quietly.
"My father… he sent you, didn't he?" Her voice sounded tired. Like she'd been expecting this all along.
But the worst part was the fact that I couldn't deny it.
Kido seemed to realize from my silence that she was spot on.
"You don't need to apologize for anything; in fact I should be the one saying sorry… I acted before thinking and caused you trouble." She said while turning her gaze away.
Say something.
Kido then let out a soft sigh. "As for whatever my father threatened you with, I apologize on his behalf, so don't worry about it anymore. I'll take care of it." She exclaimed while bowing down with her hands together.
Say something!
She gave a small, practiced smile, "Anyways, you don't need to concern yourself with me anymore, and I promise to leave you alone from now on."
Move!
"So if that's all, then I guess we might see each other around. Oh and please don't say anything about Nyandalf, I wanted to take him home, but it seems he likes it here."
Kido turned around and slowly began to walk away. Meanwhile, I just stood there gritting my teeth in silence.
"See you, Kurogawa-kun"
This should be a relief, I thought. The whole problem solves itself. No more rumors. No more trouble.
But as I watched her walk away, that familiar, uncomfortable ache twisted inside me.
A stupid, annoying, frustrating, feeling, that always manages to find me.
A feeling that I detest.
Regret.
This is it.
I got what I wanted, a free way out.
So why?
Why am I angry?
A flash of another girl's face crossed my mind, her shy eyes hidden behind thick bangs, sitting alone in the old school library.
Followed by a girl with white hair crying quietly behind a stage.
And finally a short-tempered brat standing under the rain by herself.
I couldn't do anything back then…
No… that's a lie.
I simply didn't do anything back then.
I just walked away.
And now here I was again. Making that same choice.
"...I really am a piece of shit, aren't I?" I muttered to myself.
Man… this rom-com stuff is not for the faint of heart.
I could very well be putting in danger the peaceful life I wanted to have and making the reason I transferred schools obsolete.
Hell, this could very well mark the end of my social life once those rumors get out.
However, at least right now, one thing is clear.
Letting that girl walk away, right here, right now, is not an option.
Before I knew it, my hand moved on its own.
I reached out and grabbed Kido's arm.
She froze, startled, her eyes wide as she turned back to me.
"Kurogawa…?"
This is why I hate these damn heart felt situations…
Alright viewers, you want to know another reason why these God forsaken cliches should stick to novels?!
You want to know huh!?!!
Cause otherwise, you're forced to say embarrassing and cringy lines that won't let you sleep at night!
I met Kido's gaze head-on and continued holding onto her arm with my grip being firm but gentle.
"You aren't a bother to me," I murmured.
The words came out quiet than I expected.
"Huh?"
Kido looked confused by what I had just said.
"I'm saying, that all that talk of you causing me trouble is nonsense alright?" I continued, now with a steadier tone.
Her eyes seemed to shimmer for a second as she heard me.
"Frankly, all that deal about our promise of marriage, well… I did forget it… no point lying about that" I said as I looked away nervously.
"And... maybe I also forgot about you too…"
Kido seemed unimpressed by my words.
Listen, I never said I was any good at this talk-no-jutsu crap alright?
"But I can't let you leave this place thinking I despise you, or that I don't want anything to do with you or anything similar for that matter."
Her lips parted slightly, like she wanted to say something.
But before she could I let go of her arm, and in one swift motion, I slapped both of my cheeks with full force.
"W-what are you?!" Kido exclaimed surprised.
I exhaled softly.
"Enough with this melodrama," I muttered. "I always hated this kind of thing anyway."
Screw this God of romantic comedy.
If this world wants to force this situation on me, then I'll do it on my own terms.
I could feel my face beginning to burn up.
Alright time to say more embarrassing stuff.
You've trained for this, you got this.
I took a deep exhale and straightened my gaze.
"Your father did send me. But everything I'm about to say isn't cause he threatened to break my legs, nor cause he tried to blackmail me. Rather, it's cause…"
Shit, how can rom-com protagonists do this on a daily basis.
"It's cause… I want to be your friend!"
Kido seemed flustered by my sudden declaration, not as much as me though.
Damn it, I lied. This never gets any easier.
I bet my face is flushed from embarrassment.
And here I thought I had built a tolerance for this type of situation…
"At first, I did consider going along with your father's plan. But I realized that I'd rather live my days as an outcast than try to deceive the girl that I used to play with in her garden."
Kido blinked in surprise and remained silent for a bit.
"So… you remember?" she asked, voice trembling between relief and disbelief.
I nodded. "Bits and pieces. Not everything though. But enough."
She looked down for a moment, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "It seems I wasn't wrong then… You're still the same kind person from my memories after all…." She muttered.
"Well… the same person might be a bit of an exaggeration…" I said while averting my eyes.
Especially that part about being kind…
But Kido stared at me pouting with a frown as if saying, 'let me have this'.
"Yep, still the same person." I smiled nervously.
She let out a satisfied breath and continued listening.
"My point is, I hope you don't think you are being a nuisance or a bother to me, or that I hate you for some strange reason."
I scratched the back of my head and turned away, "So um… don't leave."
Kido let out a small scoff, "No, I guess I was wrong after all. You have changed… it just seems you've grown." She said with a warm smile.
She then proceeded to put her arms behind her, and turn away from me, "In the end, you were right. It has been far too long. Those two kids who met all those years ago are no more."
"I guess not…" I replied. "But… even if they aren't the same anymore, their friendship still remains… right?"
Kido looked at me from the corner of her eye.
"So, what do you say, we can try to you know, resume our friendship and whatnot…" I asked hesitantly and feeling quite embarrassed.
Kido turned to face me, with the full might of the sun making her emerald eyes shine.
She then took a small breath, straightened herself with renewed resolve and walked a couple of steps closer until she was a few inches from me.
Finally she smiled.
"No."
"…huh?"
Did… did I hear that correctly?
"We can't go back to being childhood friends. That part's gone."
"Oh… fuck."
Isn't this-
Isn't this supposed to be the part where we reconciliate…?
"Did you really think apologizing and then trying to be all emotional was going to be enough to make up after what you made me go through?" She asked with a curious gaze.
"Of course not…"
I definitely did.
"And also you haven't even addressed the most important issue in all of this."
I haven't?
"Um… and that is…?" I hesitantly asked.
Kido let out a disappointed sigh and put her palm up to her face.
She then got extremely close to me, to the point where once again I could smell the delicate peach fragrance coming off from her.
"My feelings for you."
Oh shit… I completely forgot about that.
"About that…"
"Don't worry, that part is also gone." She replied coldly and abruptly.
Ouch…
"So… does this mean we aren't resuming our friendship from all those years ago…?"
"Yep." She replied with a smile that made me flinch back.
So this is what it feels like to have an invisible stake thrown at your heart.
Kido seemed to realize what I was thinking and not long after, as if not being to hold it in any longer, burst out laughing.
I just stared dumbfounded at her reaction.
She continued giggling for a bit, but soon enough she regained her composure.
"You really are quite the fool, aren't you?" She asked playfully. "Spouting all those lines out of a drama. You really have a knack for that, don't you? Even at the rooftop."
Ugh… don't remind me.
"It's true we can't go back to how we were all those years ago."
She said, taking a couple of steps back.
"Instead—" She hesitated for just a second, then smiled, a genuine, gentle smile that reached her eyes."—let's start anew, as strangers."
The words hung in the air, simple yet heavy.
"Wat."
Or so I say, cause I didn't really get it.
Kido frowned in annoyance and walked closer once again.
"I'm saying, let's become friends. Not as childhood friends that once knew each other, rather… as strangers who are getting to know each other for the first time in high school."
The breeze pushed her hair softly as she said that.
"Oh... So that's what you meant."
"Did you panic thinking I was about to turn you down completely?" She smirked.
"No of course not… alright maybe just a bit."
"Your expression was quite funny I must admit."
For a moment, I just stared at her. Then I felt the corners of my mouth tug upward. "You really don't make things easy, do you?"
She let out a soft laugh. "I could say the same for you."
We both stood there awkwardly before she extended her hand toward me. "Then let's do this properly. I'm Kido Tomiko, and I hope we can get along."
I looked at her hand for a moment before taking it. "Naoki Kurogawa. Pleasure's mine."
Her grip was warm and steady.
Nothing like the melancholic girl I'd seen crouching beside the kitten a few moments ago.
Yeah, this is probably the correct choice.
For the first time this entire week, I felt relieved.
"So… what now?" Kido asked, looking a bit embarrassed from our handshake.
"Good question." I replied while scratching the back of my neck. "For starters I should probably throw this trash away."
I walked to the bins nearby with Kido and Nyandalf following after.
As I opened the lid and put the bags inside, Kido tugged my uniform from behind.
"Um… Naoki... Actually, there's something I'd like to ask of you…"
Her cheeks were red while she pivoted her foot on the ground shyly.
Oh, oh. Seems like she's about to say something troublesome…
"Well since we're friends now, I'll try my best to help you." I replied with a smile.
As long as it's not too annoying that is.
"Well then… Please…" she struggled to say.
In one sudden motion, Kido did a 90-degree bow.
"Please help me make 100 friends!!!" She exclaimed.
"…One…hundred…?"
"Nyan?"
Even Nyandalf seemed confused by her request.
"I'm really bad at socializing and talking to others so… I was hoping you could help me." She said while hiding part of her face behind the sleeves of her uniform.
I finally snapped out of my momentary stun from her request.
"Wait up- there's way too many problems with that request!"
Like getting sued for stealing that plotline.
"To begin with, why do you even want 100 friends?!"
"Isn't that the average amount of friends someone has…?" she asked innocently.
This girl really is hopeless.
"Listen, at most you only need one really good friend."
As I said that, Kido seemed a bit discouraged, like she really wanted me to accept her request.
"Ha~…but since you really want to make more friends, then I guess I can help you get two or three friends at most. No more, alright? After that it's all up to you."
She soon proceeded to light up like a beacon and nod in agreement.
I could see a fire slowly lighting a blaze in her eyes.
Well I guess this isn't too bad.
"So when do we begin?" She exclaimed as we walked back to the main building.
"Hmm… well let me find some suitable people first."
I guess that Lulu girl from before would be a good place to start… now that I think about it, I don't even know her real name.
"But can you do all the talking?" Kido asked, looking a bit shy.
"What? But you're the one that wants friends."
"Well my people skills are a bit…"
We really have a lot of work to do.
"Fine…"
"Yes!" Kido exclaimed excitedly.
As she hummed happily, I remembered our small companion.
I began to look around us.
"Oh right, what about Nyandalf?" I asked.
"What about him?" she replied.
"Did he run off already? I didn't even get to say goodbye."
"Oh, nothing like that. He's on top of your head right now actually." She said as she pointed to my head.
And sure enough, there he was, looking all refined and composed.
"Holy crap, he is magic!"
What in the gag-manga…
"I told you so." She replied laughing. "He isn't Nyandalf for no reason."
Maybe there's more to this cat than meets the eye.
Kido and I continued talking about the supernatural abilities that this cat could possess, and soon, just like she said, Nyandalf disappeared, leaving the two of us.
Despite the chilling breeze of the afternoon, I felt specially warm today.
At least, one step at a time, we're working to better understand ourselves, both her and me.