To his credit, Minato was amongst the first men affected by Sakura's genjutsu to wake up. He was instantly greeted by a variety of sensations; his nostrils assaulted by a strange, fishy, almost squid-like odour, and in his trousers, an unpleasantly wet, sticky feeling. He quickly dispelled the illusion affecting his comrades, noting the lecherous expressions plastered across their faces.
"Even Shibi…" Minato murmured.
His gaze fell on Sakura, kneeling next to his wife and the impostor Menma.
"Kai!" said Sakura, laying a hand on Naruto and signing the tiger seal. "Wakey wakey…"
Naruto's eyelids fluttered.
"Sakura-chan?" he said, cracking open one eye. "I just had the most wonderful dream, ya know…"
"I can smell— I mean, I can see that," Sakura replied, looking away in embarrassment. "Come on, then," she added, glancing at Minato. "It's about time we had a proper talk with your dad in this world, don't you think?"
She had used every last drop of her stamina to take down the Black Nine-Tails, who had returned to Kushina's body after Obito's defeat. If Minato still wanted to fight, Naruto would have to defend them, but somehow, she didn't think it would come to that, after everything they'd done to help.
"You're not really our Sakura, are you?" Minato asked tentatively. "Just as this boy isn't my Menma."
"Sorry about Menma," Naruto said sheepishly. "He wouldn't stop bothering Sakura-chan, so I had to make him take a little nap… ya know."
Minato breathed a sigh of relief. As long as he was alive, it was fine.
"You can think of us as friends from another world," Sakura explained vaguely.
"I see!" Minato said, his eyes widening slightly. "I'd theorised such a thing was possible, but long ago I was forced to seal away the only means by which I could have proved the existence of other worlds…"
It would be too complicated to explain the true nature of this world to its denizens, so Sakura decided to simplify her story into something a space-time ninjutsu specialist like Minato would be familiar with: multiverse theory. In reality, it did not really matter what she told him; the moment they awakened from this dream, the inhabitants of the Limited Tsukuyomi would all cease to exist and dissolve back into humankind's collective subconscious.
"The power you demonstrated earlier… I assume that in your world, you must be the Black Nine-Tails' Jinchūriki?" Minato went on, glancing sideways at Naruto. "Then, that must mean… I'm truly sorry, on behalf of my counterpart."
In Minato's mind, there could be only one reason why Kushina was no longer the village's Jinchūriki… he and his wife were dead.
"It's okay," Naruto said, the hint of a sad smile forming at the corner of his mouth. "I had a lot of time to get used to it, and besides, my dad came back to life recently, so… ya know."
Minato didn't quite know what to say to that, so he turned his gaze to Kushina, who was lying in a pool of slobber. His wife's wounds were healing rapidly, but she was showing no signs of waking up. In fact, she seemed to be suffering, judging by her low moans and the pained expression on her face; but when he went to approach her, Sakura raised a hand, clearly intent on stopping him.
"What's the meaning of this?" Minato said coldly, gripping a kunai behind his back.
He had naturally marked his woman with a Flying Thunder God jutsu formula, so it would only take a fraction of a second for him to teleport behind Sakura and slit her throat, if need be.
"Sakura-chan?" Naruto said quizzically.
"I'd suggest you think twice before doing something you might regret," Sakura said lightly. "In case you've forgotten, I have the Kurama clan's Kekkei Genkai, and I have your wife under a genjutsu… I trust you know what that means?"
As fast as Minato was, he was not faster than thought itself, and Sakura's reflexes were just as sharp as his, thanks to her reincarnation perks. She needed only to will it, and Kushina would die within the genjutsu, causing her to die in real life as well!
"What do you want?" Minato said harshly.
"Sakura-chan, why are you doing this, ya know?" Naruto asked worriedly. "This isn't like you, ya know!"
"The mastermind behind the attack on your village, the man who sealed… I mean, sent us to your world…" Sakura began to explain. "I've got him trapped inside your wife's body. The moment I release my genjutsu, he'll escape, and he'll be free to continue wreaking havoc."
Obito was currently inside Naruto's mum, but not in a hot way. As much as Sakura would have loved to leave him in there, this was not a sustainable solution. She had made him shatter the Limited Tsukuyomi bead in the Physical Plane outside, so the only thing sustaining the nightmare was herself. Once she let go, they would all awaken and the denizens of this world would vanish, freeing Obito's consciousness.
"We… don't have much time," Sakura groaned. "Your world is a mirror of ours, even if it is wildly different… but the finer details should still be the same."
A droplet of blood trickled from her nostril.
"I need to know how you stopped the Stone's and the Cloud's ultimate weapon!" she gasped. "The Box of Ultimate Bliss!"
For this world to become a paradise for Naruto and Sakura, one they could truly sink themselves into, it had been unnaturally forced to reach a peaceful conclusion at an impossible speed, beginning from the same catastrophic opening of the Fourth Shinobi World War in the real world. Within forty-eight hours, the war between the great nations had ended without much bloodshed, for one simple reason…
"I used the Flying Thunder God Jutsu to kidnap Kusagakure's Keeper of Secrets, the former warden of Hōzuki Castle, Mui," Minato explained. "After handing him over to the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force, we managed to extract a secret incantation from his mind, the failsafe to shut down the weapon once it had been activated."
Minato took a deep breath.
"Pay close attention…" he said… and then he started rapping. "01000101 01000011 01001110 01000101 01010101 01010001 01000101 01010011 00100000 01001110 01010111 01001111 01000100 01010100 01010101 01001000 01010011 00100000 01000101 01010100 01000001 01001001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01001001 00100000 01000101 01000100 01001001 01010010 01010010 01000101 01010110 01001111 00100000 01000101 01001101 01001001 01010010 01010000 00100000 01000001 01001000 01010000 01001100 01000001…!"
Sakura gaped at him.
"Once you have recited the secret incantation in full before the Box of Paradise, it will be forced into sleep mode," Minato concluded. "From there, it's a simple matter of sealing it up again."
Easier said than done, though. They'd have to dodge its attacks while they did so.
"Like hell I'm memorising all that, ya know!!" Naruto shouted.
"It helps if you use a mnemonic device," Minato said sympathetically. "Do you want me to go again?"