BOOM!
The lamps lining the corridor flickered as the ryokan's walls shook. Naruto's heart filled with dread as he sprinted back to his room, shoving and elbowing fellow Konoha-nin out of the way as they came out of their rooms to see what all the fuss was about.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted as he kicked the door down. "Are you okay—"
Much to his relief, Sakura was perfectly fine, but there was a smoking hole in the wall behind her through which he could see the courtyard, suspiciously shaped like one sage of the pervy variety that he happened to know. There was also a female weirdo wearing lingerie as a cape standing next to Sakura, but she didn't appear to be hostile.
Where in the world had she come from? Had she climbed in through the window!?
"Oh, back already?" Sakura said, glancing at Naruto as she adjusted her hotel room yukata, which was embroidered with the ryokan's name. "Sorry, but I won't be able to play cards with everyone just yet, there's something I have to do first. But if you still want to play, Fū-chan can take my place. I'm sure you'll like her, she used to be a Jinchūriki, just like you…"
"Hi!" said Fū brightly. "So you're Nine-Tails' host, eh? Chōmei-chan told me he's really grumpy."
The difference between a Sakura with no chakra in her system and a Sakura who had moulded chakra and entered battle mode was like night and day; the former was a world-class athlete with back problems, and the latter was a thermonuclear device in human form.
The instant she had opened her Byakugan, she had seen hundreds of injured Konoha-nin awaiting treatment throughout the inn's main hall and spa area. She couldn't, in good conscience, ignore them, even though she really ought to have been resting and leaving the healing to the medic squad.
"Wait, I'm coming with you, ya know!" Naruto said, zipping past Fū and hurrying after Sakura as she hopped out through the human-shaped hole in the wall of their room. "There's lots of things I have to tell you!"
The ryokan was lit up prettily, its pagoda-style roof making it look rather like Himeji Castle at night. Light shone through its rice-paper doors and windows, bathing the garden in the inner courtyard in a warm, romantic glow. Naruto's breath caught in his throat as Sakura turned around to face him with a quizzical look on her face.
"What about?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
Naruto's mind went blank.
By design, yukata weren't made to compliment a woman's curves, but rather to conceal them and place emphasis on the dress itself. However, Sakura's silhouette literally shattered the mould, and despite the yukata's best efforts, it could not possibly conceal her hourglass outline.
Plump, rosy cleavage bulged out from the front of the dress, since there was not enough fabric to fully cover the immensity of her unsealed, braless chest. The obi wrapped tight around her waist emphasised the way her chest and hips flared out on either side, and the lighting of the courtyard only served to make Sakura look even more magical than she already did.
This gap between Sakura's curves and the yukata's aesthetics was simply too… too Sakura!
"If there's nothing…" she began.
Naruto snapped out of his trance.
"Wait, Sakura-chan!" he cried out. "You're in danger, ya know? You need to go back home!"
Naruto quickly explained what he had seen and overheard: Nowaki and Chino's revenge, and the Akatsuki's plan led by Obito and Madara to lure Kumogakure out with the Two-Tails and ambush her in the nearby Land of Sound and Rice Paddies, and then how—
"What!?" Sakura yelped. "Did you just say Obito AND Madara!?"
"Yep," Naruto said, nodding. "Then the toads summoned me to Mt Myōboku to get my future read, and long story short, I couldn't get the key to the seal thingy, so I was wondering…"
"I'm sorry, I must have had something in my ear earlier," Sakura said, taking a deep breath. "We all know Obito's not the real Madara, so I know I must have misheard you when you mentioned Obito and Madara in the same breath."
An Edo Tensei Madara could easily handle all five of the Gokage at once, and a fully revived Ten-Tails Jinchūriki Madara with the Rinnegan could hold his own against an Eight Gates Unleashed Might Guy, and battle full-powered Naruto and Sasuke to a standstill. That is, when they were respectively empowered to Six Paths Sage Mode and Rinne Sharingan by the Super Gramps Sage himself, the titular Sage of Six Paths.
"But Madara hasn't got his hands on the One, Eight and Nine-Tails yet," Sakura muttered to herself. "He won't be that powerful, but his Rinnegan abilities may be even trickier than Nagato's…"
In the original timeline, Madara had never developed his Rinnegan abilities to Nagato's level. Perhaps this was because creating puppets for each of the Paths took prep time that he did not have at the time, or perhaps he felt he could win without such gimmicks, but in the end, he only used Limbo: Hengoku and a handful of basic Rinnegan abilities.
"Right, gotta watch out for his invisible shadows…"
Madara's Border Jail phantoms could only be seen using a dōjutsu on the level of the Rinnegan, or sensed using Six Paths Sage Mode, but Sakura was still far from attaining either… and if she ever encountered him before obtaining the ability to perceive those shadows, she was as good as dead.
To obtain the Rinnegan, she would first need to become Ōtsutsuki, which would require her to steal the equivalent of her body's weight in breasts and acquire the three divine bloodlines she was still missing; and second, she would need to evolve her eyes into the Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan, which meant swapping eyes with Uchiha Nanashi.
Alternatively, if she wanted to obtain Six Paths Sage/Philosopher Mode instead, she would have to go an entire month without achieving orgasm. The last time she had succumbed to her urges was a week ago, but since she came a little each time that she stole a pair of breasts, her counter for dry panties was eternally stuck at zero days out of thirty.
"Whaddya want me to do, damn it!" Sakura yelled, shaking her fist at her System's translucent panel, which remained, as ever, gigachadly stoic in the face of her unreasonableness. "I just can't win!"
Thinking she really needed a change of pace, Sakura marched over to the spa area to tend to the wounded, with Naruto following close on her heels.
"Aww, they didn't kiss," said Fū, who'd been watching dejectedly through the hole in the wall. "That's booooring…"
Pricking up her ears, she heard people having intercourse in the next room over, so she fluttered up through the hole in the ceiling that Sakura had pulled Jiraiya out from and set about spying on the happy couple.