"How could he have squeezed his way into here?" Especially in such a state? Yan Si's entire body was tightly bound by thorny ropes, his mouth stuffed full of mud, and the foul stench of stagnant blood mixed with mud wafted up, utterly putrid.
Yichang Hua suddenly felt his head spin. Clutching his sword tightly, he quickly hacked away the coils of thorny rope, then hurriedly carried Yan Si back to the manor for medical treatment.
The moment he brought the boy back, Yichang Hua swiftly tended to the wounds... This condition was so severe it would make anyone who witnessed it shudder. Fortunately, the deep gashes had been temporarily packed and sealed by the mud; otherwise, it was feared not half a drop of blood would remain.
After a long while, having finished treating the wounds, Yichang Hua departed.
As for Yan Si, after many days of unconsciousness, when he squinted his eyes open and caught sight of the familiar silhouette, he could not help but feel dazed. "Am I... dreaming?"
Had he truly escaped the clutches of the demonic woman, or was this merely a dream? Only to find upon waking up that he was still being lashed back and forth by thorny ropes, struggling in dead-end despair...
Yichang Hua was sitting beside the bed... Hearing the whisper, he faintly shifted his gaze to look at him, replying coldly, "Whether you are dreaming or awake, do you not know yourself?"
Hearing the man's voice, Yan Si's eyes began to brim with tears as he called out, "Master..."
With everything so clear like this, it definitely could not be a dream... and even if it were a dream, he begged never to wake up again. He was truly terrified of that demonic woman; he would much rather stay by Yichang Hua's side.
At this very moment, Yan Si only wanted to cry. His entire body was in agonizing pain; every single part hurt intensely...
Yichang Hua appeared displeased. He cast a sidelong glance at him and asked, "Does it hurt? Since you know it hurts, how dare you do such a thing? You foolish boy, how dare you sneak off to the stream to play in the water all by yourself?"
Yan Si did not dare to say anything, merely gazing silently at the man beside him... This master was very beautiful; though his hair was stark white, his countenance appeared only around twenty years of age. His facial features were distinctly gentle, yet for some reason, his personality was cold and unapproachable, and moreover, he treated the boy quite harshly.
Even so, it was true that Yichang Hua had never permitted him to go to the stream alone to play in the water... Now, Yan Si understood the reason his master forbade it—it was out of apprehension that the boy would slip, leading to unimaginable consequences, and more importantly, trouble the man with the arduous task of searching for him.
"Master..." Having escaped a grand disaster and being brought back here to receive such dedicated treatment, a strange, indescribable feeling suddenly surfaced within Yan Si's heart.
Was it affection? Or gratitude because despite causing so much trouble, his master still disregarded the fatigue to rescue him time and time again?
Spontaneously sensing that the man still seemed to care for him, Yan Si truly could not restrain himself any longer. His lips puckered on the verge of tears as he said, "I saw fish... I wanted to catch fish for Master."
"Fish?" Hearing this, a flash of astonishment crossed Yichang Hua's face. "That stream has never had fish since ancient times. Did you truly see fish?"
"I..." Yan Si felt a piercing numbness in his mind as he suddenly recalled what had just transpired...
A stream teeming with fish, yet entirely untouchable. A freezing hand yanking his ankle, causing him to slip and fall. A beautiful woman appearing for a single night, only to turn into a hideous, demonic form—what... what on earth was all of this?
In a fleeting moment, goosebumps broke out. Yan Si shivered slightly and stammered, "I really saw fish... there were so many circling right beneath my feet... afterward... a very beautiful woman appeared, claiming to be my mother..."
"No need to say any more!" Yichang Hua abruptly cut Yan Si short. Immediately afterward, he slipped a bracelet onto the boy's wrist, instructing, "Forget about that matter! From now until you grow up, you must always wear this bracelet on your wrist; you will never encounter it again in the future."
By now, Yichang Hua was almost certain that all his deductions were correct. The woman by the stream whom Yan Si mentioned was someone he himself had seen before, but he had always ignored her.
This time, perhaps she wanted to use the child as a scapegoat to take her place, but little did she know, his soul was tethered within his bones by Qin Sheng, making it utterly impossible to be taken away. Otherwise, it was feared...
Yichang Hua shook his head faintly. Whether this child lived or died, or how much he suffered or rejoiced, mattered nothing to him; however, he needed to ensure the boy reached adulthood so that he could leave this place.
Yan Si had no knowledge of those calculations. Having been rescued by Yichang Hua multiple times, he mistakenly believed that the man was the only one who treated him well. Because of this, affection blossomed within his heart, and once his body grew healthy, he would cling to him and follow him everywhere.
After that ordeal, everything returned to normal as before. During the days they went out together to gather herbs, Yichang Hua taught Yan Si how to recognize, classify, and understand the uses of medicinal ingredients, while the boy always listened with rapt attention...
When Yan Si turned exactly six years old, Yichang Hua began to teach him how to read, strictly refusing to transmit any martial arts to him, because he said the boy possessed no natural talent, and trying would only be a waste of time.
Even so, the man still transmitted to Yan Si the basics of survival and defense, enough for him to venture into the forest alone safely without fearing wild beasts. In this regard, he actually learned exceedingly well.
Over all these years, Yan Si had put in a great deal of effort, practically living by watching Yichang Hua's expressions. Yet the man remained persistently cold and kept pushing him away; the boy could only desperately search for a tiny, minute sign of concern, or simply a moment where his master was not angry, to comfort himself.
Throughout the first years of his life, due to the absolute absence of love, he had forgotten its very existence.
As the child gradually grew older, Yichang Hua loathed looking at his face even more. During normal times, it was still tolerable, but every time he was intoxicated, he would coldly drive him away, constantly thrusting the boy into a state of precarious, drifting existence.
Throughout that time, Yan Si had inherently craved validation from his master, trying his best to accomplish everything flawlessly; yet in return, he received nothing but countless cold reprimands... Gradually, he felt that he no longer needed to strive for anything; as long as he survived well and did not die, it was enough.
Even so, undercurrents always lingered within his heart—a smoldering, persistent loneliness, a nameless yearning to be loved. His hollow soul made him feel that life was entirely meaningless, and having to live was an agonizing torture that plagued his physical flesh.
On many occasions, taking advantage of the times Yichang Hua appeared relatively normal, he would ask, "Could you undo Qin Sheng for me?"
And every single time, the man would merely shake his head coldly and reply, "Impossible."
"Why?"
"Why do you force me to live?" Why force him to prolong this insipid, miserable life?
Survival was by no means an easy feat; over the past few years, he had gone through several brushes with death, and danger had never ceased lying in wait. His tiny body was riddled with deep, jagged scars, to the point that even though he was already six years old, he still possessed a completely emaciated form. "Why must I keep going!?"
Yichang Hua said, "You are not the only one in this place, and in this world, you are not the only one who has been abandoned."
To live was not to enjoy, but to endure, because that was exactly what life was; there were countless people living in utter, profound misery, not just him alone.
"Is that so?" It turned out that in this world, there were people even more miserable than himself? Everyone had to live simply because they had no other choice—to live and overcome the torment of pain... At the thought of this, the corners of his lips suddenly curled slightly...
He flashed a smile to conceal the multitude of traumas within his heart, to hide the loneliness that was invading his mind; he knew he needed to smile regardless of the circumstances, because if he did not, he would not know how else to pull through.
Whenever he suffered, he found it ironical and amusing; he wanted to laugh like a madman to forget all the bitterness of mundane existence.
Wandering deep within the forest for many consecutive days, Yan Si plucked whatever he could find; from wild vegetables to wild fruits, as long as they were non-toxic, he would stuff them into his mouth to eat...
He had survived numerous brushes with death due to venomous snake and centipede bites, and had even nearly been torn to pieces by wild forest beasts, yet Yan Si remained unafraid. On the contrary, his ability to sense danger grew progressively sharper.
He merely dragged his life out day by day until Yichang Hua's anger subsided, and then he would return to the manor as though nothing had happened...
Through a long and continuous period of training and learning, even though Yan Si lived driftingly like a ghost, it appeared he was still fully capable of inheriting everything from Yichang Hua; it was just that he had no idea where to apply it.
By the time Yan Si turned nine years old, Yichang Hua led him down to the rural villages to practice taking pulses and treating illnesses. Seeing how tiny and emaciated he was, the villagers were all wary; however, the final results left people utterly astonished. He could perceive and predict every symptom, and his combined medicinal herb prescriptions for treatment were exceptionally effective.
That journey lasted for nearly two years; from consultations to dispensing medicine, everything was entirely free of charge, so wherever the master and disciple appeared, patients flocked in massive crowds. At that very moment, Yan Si suddenly felt a shred of worth in himself; yet the sheer toil and hardship thoroughly exhausted his physical body, locking away every emotion that had just surfaced, leaving him feeling nothing but sheer fatigue and a desire to return to the manor as soon as possible.
And that was also the final time Yan Si had contact with human beings. He returned bearing a deep, haunting trauma from the countless distorted, bitter faces of those who carried illnesses upon themselves, suffering through perpetual physical torment.
At that time, Yan Si possessed only a single thought: "Living like that, death is even better... why must they live in such misery?"
None of them had Qin Sheng preserving their lives; if it were him, he would have died long ago...
To Yan Si's eyes now, human beings were merely wandering blocks of misery; everywhere he looked, there was illness, groaning, and the collapse of physical flesh. He was like a sponge, continuously absorbing all the agonizing pain under heaven until it exceeded what a callous soul could endure.
A medical practitioner brings light and alleviates the pain of his fellow men, but through the eyes of a child who had endured far too much trauma, he saw no such miracle; it all merely prolonged a state of hopelessness, where death was the ultimate privilege.
Deprived of every right to grow up like a normal human being, Yan Si lived out his days dejectedly in loneliness and weariness. No joy, no light, and he no longer knew what hope was.
Another three years slipped away. Yan Si had now grown up, yet his stature remained frail and emaciated, his face faintly bearing many traces of bitter hardship that were difficult to put into words. To this day, the relationship between him and Yichang Hua had never become close, but had only grown increasingly distant.
According to the covenant, upon reaching adulthood, Yan Si was bound to leave the mountain valley and return to the General Shi Manor. At present, let alone Yichang Hua no longer wishing to accommodate him, he himself had no desire to stay for any reason.
The night before leaving the mountain valley, Yan Si performed three ritual prostrations to Yichang Hua, then silently stood up and turned his back. From now on, the two of them were considered permanently severed, with no relations remaining between them.
Having lived quietly for so many years, the time he spent battling nature was far greater than the time he spent at the manor, causing his emotions to be as faint as frost and snow. It could be said that along this path of departure, he did not carry a single trace of lingering attachment.
On the journey hacking through forests and crossing streams to return to the Shi family, stopping by a lakeshore one day, Yan Si caught his own reflection in the water. The image mirrored back left him utterly disheartened: "Being this hideous, to the point I don't even look human... can I really return home?"
Yan Si felt that he was even worse off than the patients he used to encounter; even though they were sallow and emaciated, they still looked better than him.
Upon his return, would his parents be willing to acknowledge this son? Or would he have to flee into the deep forest to continue living?
"No, regardless of the circumstances, I must return home to acknowledge my parents." Who was to say that life ahead might not be better? Without trying, nothing could be predicted... With this thought, Yan Si grew even more resolute; no matter how grueling it might be, he would absolutely never lose heart or give up.