On the fourth night, Yan Si's self-torment became even more worsened and terrible.
"The person deigns not to come to meet, nor grants permission to enter to visit; is it that he has officially cast me aside and neglected me?" Yan Si truly regretted to the uttermost point, anxious to a degree that he could think toward nothing further, solely knowing how to secretly and silently pray for forgiveness: "Eldest brother, I am sorry... I am truly sorry indeed... brother, do not cast me aside and neglect me... pray do not cast me aside and neglect me..."
With Yan Si, RongCheng's desertion and abandonment was even more terrifying than death itself. The unique individual who treated him well, the unique one who loved him unconditionally, up to this time had also turned his back to depart; he could be regarded as having lost everything entirely once more.
And yet this abandonment, all of it was caused by his own self...
Adding yet another night of losing sleep, Yan Si's eyes clearly manifested dark, black circles. He departed toward the pharmacy to search for medicine; at this time, he again unintentionally encountered Liú Yu, who feigned coming to his side, manifesting an uneasy, diffident manner and asking: "Lord... is My Lord still well?"
Yan Si did not even deign to glance to look at Liú Yu for a single turn; seeing thus, the fellow also asked nothing further.
Passing a bout of silent contemplation and observation of Yan Si's actions, Liú Yu suddenly caught hold of his hand, asking: "What does My Lord plan to do? For what reason do you uniquely take entirely sleeping medicines and even... poison?"
Yan Si rapidly wrenched his hand back, shaking his head: "I use them not to harm people; what do you pay care toward it for?"
"Not harming people?" Abruptly, the fellow all of a sudden understood some matter, thereupon asking in astonishment: "Could it be that it is used upon your own self?"
Yan Si stood stock-still for a short moment, and then again shook his head: "It is not your matter."
Hearing thus, Liú Yu merely let out a breath in a sigh: "My Lord, do not perform foolish deeds; though you happen to like and fancy some individual in whatever manner, you also ought not to harm yourself like that! If it were this humble one, once having liked whichever person, I definitely must capture and occupy them to success by all means, defying all maneuvers and ploys."
"You!?" Yan Si, with a flash of slight astonishment, turned across to look at Liú Yu; he appeared completely incapable of believing it, thereupon asking: "A matter like that and you are also capable of speaking it or not?"
"What is there to be incapable of?" Liú Yu suddenly spoke with a solemn countenance: "When you already love some individual, then why must you yield to other individuals only to receive bitterness and grief for your own part? Conversely, merely requiring to strive to pursue a bit to possess the person, then will it not be happier or not? Do you know acting in which manner is good?"
"This matter..." Words resembling venomous snakes and scorpions bit and tore into his head, causing Yan Si to feel exceptionally aching and painful. His own self, although being incapable of privately distinguishing good from bad, nonetheless... his conscience absolutely permitted it not.
At this time, Liú Yu all of a sudden patted Yan Si's shoulder and then leaned close into his ear, softly whispering: "Then again, speaking toward conscience... could it be that conscience assists you in being cheerful or gaining gratification when by the side of the loved individual or not? If there is none, then why not cast it away? You live for the sake of your own self; do not treat it badly to let it suffer pain endlessly like that, do you understand or not?"
Afterward, the fellow again displayed an exceptionally sinister and treacherous smile, and then patted Yan Si's shoulder several further turns before deigning to depart.
Up to the very hour when Liú Yu's form faded from sight, Yan Si still was not yet capable of thoroughly awakening after those words of the toxic, harmful serpent; they invaded deep into his head, biting and tearing into every patch of his conscience so as to let his heart pain to the point of writhing.
Yan Si collapsed down, clutching his own head, unceasingly howling and shouting: "Silence! Silence! All silence down!!!"
The toxic words of Liú Yu were a frail, thin line between attaining and not; though no individual spoke saying that he must cease, yet once stepping across, it was precisely the path of self-destruction.
Yan Si knew his own self was treading upon exactly that path, and he was having to face the most ruthless conclusion.
Right afterward, Yan Si clutched the medicine back to his chamber, storing it into the cabinet compartment beside the bed, instructing Xiao Yi to decoct it during each morning and evening.
He was an immortal entity; though drinking however much poison, he also could not privately choose death; conversely, it was entirely agony... That matter all the more proved that he was self-tormenting his own person; could it be that some individual would pity and grieve, or would it conversely cause his own self to look more wretched?
A ruthless curse was sown into Yan Si, forcing him to continue to live, continue to suffer pain, and forcing him to face the consequences following multiple decisions of self-ruin.
Xiao Yi, hearing the instruction, knew nothing at all; he merely thought that his master possessed some illness, thereupon executing accordingly.
A day slipped away; Yan Si, after finishing drinking the medicine, then fell over into deep sleep like a dead person; though Xiao Yi called in whatever style, he also would not awaken, even being indifferent to eating and drinking.
On the second day, Xiao Yi began to discover a strange point, therefore he departed no further to decoct the medicine; seeing thus, Yan Si knitted his brows and asked: "Where is the medicine?"
Xiao Yi haltingly and diffidently replied: "Mas... Master... what is that medicine? Your person has slept throughout an entire long day already, and has not yet eaten or drunk anything at all."
Yan Si spoke with a cold voice: "It is merely ordinary cold medicine; quickly go decoct it for me."
"Ordinary cold medicine?" If it were merely like that, then how could one sleep so much? Knowing that Yan Si was speaking falsely, Xiao Yi instantly repeatedly shook his head.
At this time, Yan Si began to possess a bit of a lack of patience, asking: "You resolutely depart not?"
Xiao Yi nodded his head: "Master, do not be like that... Why not go outside to eat a bit of something."
"No requirement is needed!" Yan Si decisively shook his head, shouting and chiding: "I have no requirement! You quickly go for me!"
Though he had spoken in such a manner, Xiao Yi merely stood cowering in a corner, speaking in a low voice to advise: "Your person do not be like that."
The person caused him to feel very frightened; from past to present, he had never yet been like this at all.
"Very well..." Yan Si suddenly forced himself up, gritting his voice to speak: "You depart not, then I depart!"
"Master..." Xiao Yi instantly ran to chase following Yan Si, then was glared at by him with a trite gaze; in the final analysis, he could only with a sorrowful heart recoil to look following the person's back until his form faded from sight.
Two days slipped away, yet Yan Si still had not turned back; Xiao Yi night and day anxiously paced back and forth. He knew from that day onward, RongCheng granted no permission for any individual to meet his face, and he furthermore even knew not whether he ought to arrive to report the tidings...
On the third day, in the final analysis Xiao Yi could no longer continue to remain silent; he thereupon arrived at the Zixuan Palace to pray to meet RongCheng, nonetheless he continually was barred by the imperial guards.
Xiao Yi spoke: "The two Lords, pray enter inside to report; this matter truly is exceptionally weighty, relating toward my master; if permitting him to have an incident occur, then I fear we can with difficulty shoulder it!"
The two imperial guards faintly cast their eyes to look at each other; they knew that sworn younger brother was exceptionally important toward His Highness, for that reason hearing the tidings they then dared not turn a blind eye, thereupon speaking: "You wait here; we will enter to report!"
Right away, one person hurriedly went inside to report; not long afterward, his face was flushed red as he ran out to chide: "Begone! His Highness wishes not to meet! If you still dare to disturb here, then do not blame us!"
Hearing thus, Xiao Yi was dejected and disappointed to the point of numbness, slinking to depart: "The lot of serving as a servant is truly bitter... The master performs wrongly, yet the consequence conversely forces us to shoulder... relying upon what basis?"
Within his heart at present, it was extremely mournful and resentful...