Theia stood by the open doors as cries echoed from the room. Luna and El knelt together in the center of the room, hugging each other tightly.
Luna wept into El's shoulder loudly, her voice muffled by El's wet fabric. But El herself held her emotionlessly, as if confused.
Why…? Theia thought.
Why would you lie to me? No… you would never do that… You wouldn't… Y-yes, you just wanted to keep me safe. Keep me happy, as you always did.
Theia leaned against the wall, holding a wooden tray with three cups of black tea. One was for Luna; she put especially dedicated care into it, and she made it perfect. Another was for herself, and the last one was for El, and Theia made it cloyingly sweet.
Her brows drew up together, creasing her forehead. Slowly, her eyes filled with tears. A heavy, sinking feeling settled deep in Theia's chest, as though her heart were being torn free, wrenched away by unseen hands and crushed without mercy.
She lowered her gaze; in her glossy eyes, Luna's cup reflected back. As if asking to be delivered to the person who expected it.
She turned towards the doors, vision blurring by the second, and then she squeezed her eyes shut. As if that could block the pain, lock it away.
Tears trickled down her face, pouring like a waterfall.
She clenched her jaw hard, but her mouth kept twitching. The corners were pulled apart by something she could not hold back.
It hurts, Luna… It hurts so much.
She stood frozen, alone. Every sound carved deeper into her chest, hollowing her out. All the pain she had poured into El, all that she had given her, was more than she had ever given to Theia.
"I see…" Theia muttered, turning abruptly, her fingers clenching the wooden tray until the wood groaned. She walked away.
Theia placed the tray down gently on the living room table. She stared at the wall in front of her. Moments slipped past her, silently, as she stood there with hollow, empty eyes. Slowly, she sank to the floor, folding into herself, arms wrapped tightly around her legs as if they could not hold themselves together. Her fingers dug desperately into her skin.
A curtain of white hair fell over her face, hiding everything except her tears. They slipped freely, tracing paths down Theia's knees.
She knelt there, motionless, as if time itself had abandoned her. Only quiet pain pressed against her ribs, pouring out in the form of relentless tears.
***
Luna and El knelt in the center of the room; they clung tightly to each other. But El did not really understand what Luna was feeling.
Luna quietly sobbed into El's shoulder, staining it with a warm fluid. El never cried in those situations; it never fit the royal she was aspiring to become. Although the position was useless to her, the thrill and the praise kept her going.
She always preferred to watch, quietly and still. The only thing she was sure of now was that Luna forced her into this. El tightened her arms around her; that's the only thing she could think of. To her surprise, it seemed to work. Luna hugged her back tighter than before and cried harder and louder than before.
Why? Are you dying? Why? Why is this happening to me? I finally made a friend... I probably have a solution for this; I just need to see in the royal library. I think there might be an answer there. I'm not sure.
El gently caressed Luna's back. She could not process the same feelings Luna felt, but she could understand it. Although she witnessed many maids that had something terrible happen to them, El always overheard them crying and comforting each other. So she knew how to deal with these situations.
"It will be fine. Don't worry. I'm here for you. I will do whatever I must. I will find the solution. I will have my attendants look through the royal library. They might find something, I promise you," El repeated, her voice as steady as a wooden pole.
Luna pushed El away, her finger tightly gripping her shoulder. Luna's glazed eyes fixed on hers. Her face, full of sorrow, turned warm as she genuinely wanted to smile. The corners of her mouth trembled as she stared for moments to come at her. "T-thank you…" Luna muttered.
Without allowing El to respond, she hugged her tightly, as if afraid to let go.
***
After a few minutes, Luna sank into her bed, cocooned beneath the soft white sheets of her duvet. El knelt quietly beside her, gently holding her hand. "Is everything okay, Luna?" she asked softly. "You cried for so long… I'm sorry. I… I just didn't understand."
Luna's eyes fluttered open, and her expression softened. A small, gentle smile spread across her face. "Yeah… it's okay. Really. Even if you didn't understand, just… listening was enough. That's what mattered. Thank you." She paused, tilting her head slightly. "But… why?"
"I don't know. Sometimes people cry around me without them knowing I'm near. And I just listen. But I could never understand why they were crying. The emotions—"
El stopped mid-sentence as she glanced at Luna, who sat, leaning against the wall. She considered telling her everything, but… just did not want to lose her only friend.
Luna cupped El's face, and with her thumbs she caressed her cheeks. "El, you know. I can see it. I don't care."
"A—" El's mouth grew slightly agape, tears filled her eyes and trickled down. El touched them and did not understand why. El grabbed Luna's hand that was on her cheek and leaned into them, closing her eyes.
"You really are my best friend." El smiled. She sat on her legs, looking seriously at Luna. She swallowed her saliva. Her heart was so hard that she could feel it even in her hands.
"How should I start…"
"I'll stay silent, like a doll," Luna said, pressing her lips together with a gesture that mimicked zipping her mouth shut. "Just let it all out, every thought, every feeling. I won't say a word."
"You're too kind… Okay."
"I'll start from the very first memory I had. It was me and my mother; I don't remember clearly what we were doing. I think she was working, and I stared at her.
She kept a rectangular, two-meter-tall mirror. The first time I glanced at it, I saw myself, and instead of myself, I saw a goddess. I loved that goddess;
I loved how I looked. I was proud, really proud of my looks. I started using it to gain stuff before my mother noticed it and stopped me, forcing me to learn etiquette to deconstruct whatever I had been doing.
'Just' using it to gain things is just an understatement. I don't remember what I clearly did, but I know how horrified my mother was at my personality. So she wanted her daughter to be normal, and so she taught me to behave.
I have a hole from that entire year of my life. But the very next memory is of me behaving properly. I don't know what she did, but she probably cared for me.
I neither liked my mother nor hated her. She just was who she was, my mother. When my father died, I really didn't care about it much and just brushed it off, hearing my mother fall into depression after receiving the news.
I never really understood it, but in hindsight, I understand it now.
I always thought that I was the most important person, the most beautiful person, and what I wanted was the thing that everyone should prioritize, and I still do.
I'm… I just don't understand what's wrong with this… Do you… Luna?"
El looked up at Luna and saw the warmth radiating from her smile. Slowly, Luna extended her hands and drew El into a gentle hug, resting her head against Luna's stomach. Her fingers wove through El's hair as she spoke softly, her voice steady and comforting.
"El… listen to me, and take this to heart," Luna said.
El nodded, her chest tightened with anticipation.
"With me, with Theia, and with Mytri… you can be yourself. Really yourself. You can act however you want, say what you feel. We will never judge you. We will accept you exactly as you are. So please… let yourself be comfortable with us. We love you, all of us."
Tears welled in El's eyes. She slowly lifted her gaze, meeting Luna's wide, reassuring grin. Luna's hand continued to stroke her hair, gentle and steady, grounding her. El bit her lip, fighting to hold back the flood of emotion, then hugged Luna tighter, her voice trembling but resolute.
"Yes… yes. Thank you. I will… I promise. I'll… I'll be myself with you."