The vampire girl had the gall to say those who couldn't appreciate donuts wouldn't come to a good end. She'd made a whole show of offering to share with Sū ěr, but the speed with which she retracted her hand the moment he declined revealed exactly how much "sincerity" she actually had.
Sū ěr was speechless. He suddenly realized that the centuries-old beings around him were prone to bouts of juvenile behavior that defied their actual ages. Was this a common affliction among the elderly? Would he become like this once he had lived long enough?
He didn't know what his future self would be like, but like every child who secretly swears they won't grow up to be a "terrible adult," Sū ěr made a silent vow.
"Just eat your donut and shut up," Sū ěr sighed. Having just made his vow, he felt compelled to speak bluntly to the vampire child. "Where do you think the money for those donuts came from? Living in a human city isn't cheap—prices are high, and life is hard. Show a little gratitude if you want to be a vampire with a conscience."
"Ka-ka-ka~" The blonde vampire laughed in her peculiar way. "Vampires don't have such things~"
"The angel and the elf are both strong-willed women with their own agendas. I don't know what methods you used to capture their hearts, but if you don't handle things well, you won't keep them living in peace for long~" The blonde vampire girl offered a rare piece of advice that actually matched her age, causing Sū ěr to look at her in surprise.
"Go on then. Just put them both in one bed. After a night of passion, I'm sure whatever conflicts they have will be resolved~" Facing Sū ěr dumbfounded stare, Kiss-shot dropped a criminal declaration that would have prompted any passerby to call the police immediately.
"Even though you're skipping quite a few steps of build-up, jumping straight to the final stage of a date doesn't seem so bad... Using a session of vigorous s— mmmph mmmph!!!"
For the sake of the story's safety ratings, Sū ěr reflexively covered the vampire child's mouth, preventing her from finishing her shocking remarks. She might have grown a little, but she still looked like a young girl; however, her speech confirmed she was a vampire who had lived countless years, seen all the world had to offer, and played every game in the book.
He had heard rumors that Western vampires lived debauched lives with succubus-like openness. Sū ěr was now profoundly intimidated and no longer doubted those rumors.
"Well said. Don't ever say it again—otherwise, before the vampire hunters get to you, I might wake up one morning to find you've turned into a pile of ash on the balcony," Sū ěr said with a deadpan expression.
"Hmm~ Given my power, I wouldn't die even if placed under the blazing sun~"
"Wonderful. I'm sure Think will be delighted by how hardy her laboratory specimen is."
"I'm not afraid of the elf, you know."
"Right. So, can you shut up?"
"Roger that."
Gulping down the rest of her donut in two or three bites, Kiss-shot didn't leave herself another chance to share. She simply used a modern gesture she'd learned from Koyomi Araragi—wiping her index finger across her lips to signify she wouldn't say another word.
While the clever vampire had entered standby-silence mode, her personal silence was a drop in the bucket compared to the storm currently raging in the house.
"When we go out today, he has to hold my arm! My arm! Understand? This one right here!"
Pia! Pia! Pia! Jibril—as 'Think'—patted her bent, fair arm repeatedly, the sound of skin hitting skin ringing out.
"Shameless! You're wearing my face! Even if people see you, they'll only see me being with him!"
"Is that so? But you wouldn't know what it feels like to be held by him and appear openly among humans, would you? You can't even show up in a movie theater with him! A movie, do you understand? Two seats! Only two! Hahahahahaha!!!"
Jibril let out a maniacal laugh. she had won too much today. The angrier and more frustrated Think became, the happier Jibril felt—hadn't she transformed into Think specifically to see her like this?
She looked like her, yet was exactly not her. Jibril knew this specific sense of cognitive dissonance would drive Think mad.
"Sū ěr!! Give me a body!!" Think turned her head sharply, her voice nearing a breaking point.
Although the Great Lady Nirvalen had previously said that this feeling of being connected to his soul was quite nice, at this moment, she had never wanted an independent physical body more.
As everyone knows, the Great Lady Nirvalen has said many things.
"...Um, if you two keep arguing like this, there won't be enough time for food or a movie," Sū ěr said with a bitter smile, glancing at the sky outside.
Things had to be done one step at a time. Where was he supposed to conjure a body for Think right now?
Admittedly, the prospect of going out together was quite tempting—at least enough for Think and Jibril to temporarily claw back some of their sanity.
"You really are something... It isn't easy, is it?" Having somehow produced another donut, the blonde vampire whispered her commentary.
The two continued to huff coldly at each other—one at his side, one in his head. Even after Sū ěr long-winded persuasion, Jibril refused to budge; the pink-haired Flügel insisted on heading out in this form today.
Sū ěr had taken a rare day off from MgRonald's specifically for today. As the sky grew darker, he finally set out on this path of no return.
He had a vague premonition that the long-awaited "bonding date" for the three of them might yield an unexpected "surprise" tonight.
"Ahn~~~"
Looking at the 'Think' before him, who was holding a piece of food on a toothpick in one hand and cupping the other underneath while making an affectionate cooing sound, Sū ěr fell into silence.
How should he put it?
It just felt... weird.
"What? Don't want to eat it?"
Seeing Sū ěr hesitate to open his mouth, the 'Think' before him abruptly withdrew her smile. The corners of her mouth curled into a dangerous tilt. Sū ěr saw Think, but he also seemed to see Jibril—both qualities mashed into one person.
Think haughtiness and refusal to take "no" for an answer, combined with Jibril recklessness and this little touch of... willful petulance.
It made Sū ěr wonder: was this an expression the real Think could ever make?
...Even he couldn't say for sure.