The weather outside here seems like there is going to be rain very soon. Shanghai weather nowadays is just like my life — changing very rapidly without even knowing anything why. And see, early in the morning there is huge bright sunlight, but in the late evening it's almost drizzling, and it seems like there will be a huge rain within a few hours.
But I need to hurry up myself to get ready faster, as Yuan is waiting for me inside the car. What will he think, that I am taking so much time to get ready myself? But it's really worthy, cause I am going with my Yuan. Yuan, I need to look pretty.
But sometimes I really don't know why I feel this whenever I get ready — that am I pretty enough? Do I really deserve my Yuan? Or it's just him being very polite to me that he said yes to my feelings. Did I really deserve him? My Mr. Heart always asks this question to me whenever I get ready myself for going out with him, because in this time these questions rise in my Mr. Heart every single time.
But I put my makeup brush down on the dressing table while looking at myself. I said to myself that I really don't know that I am pretty enough for him or not, whether I deserve him or not, but the only thing I know right now is that he is with me and I am with him.
But I really don't know how much longer we are together. It's not that I doubt him, but it's that I doubt myself. I doubt my own fate, my own life, because I don't think so that this life will ever be so grateful to me. Is this my luck or I am just taking advantage of this luck?
But I only know one thing — I don't know how much longer we are going to stay together, but as you say, I am going to make the best of my memories of my life with you, that I'll cherish my whole life till my last breath. Because as everyone says that in their last moments of their lives, everyone sees their whole life, but I say I want to see and relive all those moments of my life that I have spent with you.
And then after doing this self-conversation with myself while looking at the mirror for the last time before leaving the house.
Then I get downstairs and reach outside his house where he is already sitting in the car wearing that white T-shirt with a sky blue colour shirt. His hair is so shiny and silky, even more than me. It's coming on his forehead every time he makes any movement.
I just get awestruck by looking at my Yuan's beauty just now, and then I placed my hand on my Mr. Heart and said to it, please be gentle on me, my Mr. Heart. I know this man is making flutter and doing adrenaline pump, but it's really not his fault, it's just me who did this to you. Please be calm, be relaxed. And I know it's difficult for you to handle this much, but it's not too much, as for my Yuan, even very much isn't enough.
And then after taking a deep sigh and making my Mr. Heart normal, I walked towards the car and sat inside it just beside him.
And I asked him, "Isn't your driver going to drive this car?" I asked him.
He smiled and said, "My silly girl doesn't have a habit of wearing a seat belt inside the car, how can I trust someone else's driving skills when I know this pretty well? I can't, I really can't. My girl is my responsibility and I can't take a risk with her life," he said while starting the car, and the car started moving on the road.
The roads are quite wet here when I see them through the car's window.
Then I didn't realize it, but we have reached the place where Yuan was talking about taking me. The car has stopped now. Yuan went out from the car and came to my side of the car, of course for opening the door. He came to my side while running a little bit, which makes his hair bounce every time he moves, and that damn look makes him even more handsome than ever.
I don't know about other things, but I know one thing for sure — the cameras are really not enough to capture my Yuan's handsomeness in it, as it can only be seen through naked eyes.
And while looking at him like that in my typical "his little fan girl" era, I got down from the car, and I didn't even realize when I lost my balance and was about to fall. But before falling, he caught me with his strong arm around my waist with just one hand.
Then he gave me a mischievous smile and said, "Haven't I told you before that you are just my one-hand thing?"
I got a little shy hearing that, but as always, to avoid that shyness so that he couldn't tease me later, I said while getting up from his hold and standing properly on the floor, "It's all your fault."
"My fault?" he asked me.
"Yes, of course your fault. Why are you so handsome? Because of your handsomeness, my feet get a little bit disbalanced even when I am wearing shoes, not high heels sandals. Why are you so much handsome?"
He smiled hearing this from me, seems like he is literally enjoying it, and then he said, "If I am not this handsome, how could I ever be able to make you fall in love with me?"
"Ooo, so you are thinking that I am after your beauty?" I asked him.
"No, I am not saying that. I know you really love me, but my handsomeness plays a very important role in making you get attracted towards me."
I started looking here and there, as whatever he is saying, not fully but at least makes some sense, because at first his outer beauty played a key important role in making me fall for him. But above all these things, there is something in him — something that pulls me towards him, something powerful which has this much strong impact on me than anything in this whole world.
Yuan can control me, can make me do things that I usually never do. He can make me do those things. I don't know if it's his love for me or some sort of power that exists inside him that makes me do anything or everything. Or I can say that there is some kind of invisible force in him which has such a strong impact on me.
Then he said, "Come, silly girl, let's make memories for life together."
And then we headed inside this place, which is none other than the shopping mall.
While walking inside it, I looked at him and asked him, "Why shopping mall?"
And he smiled and said, "Cause there is a lot to do here today for us."
"A lot to do for us?" I repeated it quite amusingly.
Then before entering the mall, I stopped him at the entrance doorway and said, "Yuan, you have forgotten to wear your face mask. Wear it fast, otherwise there will be a huge unplanned event going to happen in this mall today."
He smiled hearing that, and then he took out his face mask from his pants pocket and wore it. His face is totally covered by this mask, but how can his deep attractive eyes be ignored? These eyes tell a story of their own.
But then I moved my eyes somewhere else, as if I look more into him, then I'll be left doing nothing for this whole day.
Then we started walking inside the mall, and while entering, he said, "You should also start wearing face masks, as you have also become a celebrity now."
I smiled and said, "Yuan, stop exaggerating. Just a few variety shows and public events got on air on China TV, no one will be able to recognize me that fast. I am not that big, Yuan," I said.
"But you are," he said.
I chuckled and said, "Of course in your eyes, but here no one is going to recognize me, so let me enjoy my freedom," I said.
"And I am enjoying seeing you like this," he said.
Then as we walked more inside the mall, I asked him, "Yuan, why did you bring me here? What's special about visiting a shopping mall together?"
He smiled and said, "Cause there is a lot to do here."
"A lot to do?" I repeated it quite shockingly.
Then we walked more inside the mall, and we stopped in front of the gaming centre. I looked at him quite amusingly, and I didn't say it loud, but my eyes were asking him — are we going inside the gaming centre?
And he read my eyes, because he always says that Zhao Shiza, your eyes speak everything that is going inside you even when your tongue doesn't.
And he got it what I was asking. He smiled and held my hand, and then we both went inside the gaming centre.
Walking hand in hand with him just makes every path of life beautiful. No matter if this path is taking me to hell, but with him holding my hand, I am even ready to walk into hell also.
Then we stopped in front of the snooker table, which I really don't know how to play, because I am really very bad in every sport or game.
Then he said to me, "I'll make you learn how to play this," and then he grabbed the snooker stick from the basket placed there and started teaching me how to play it while holding my hand from behind, coming closer to me.
I can feel his warm breath near my ears, which makes my Mr. Heart jump out of control inside me, but somehow I managed to control it. I don't know how I did that, but I really did it.
Then as I bent slightly towards the table to aim at the ball and hit it, I said to him, "Yuan, I am really not good in such games and sports."
He smiled hearing that, but his full attention and focus was on that ball.
Then he said, "Then which sport do you like the most?"
"Basketball," I said it without even wasting a second.
He smiled very mischievously, as I think he got it, because it's his favourite sport, and in all of his drama series and even in recent variety shows, he played basketball.
And really, he got it. How I become so obvious when he is around me, but nothing is in my hands, because everything goes out of control when my Yuan is around. At that time, Zhao Shiza is not Zhao Shiza anymore — I become only his fan girl.
And still, even after becoming his girlfriend, I really don't know why I am not able to come out of my fan girl era. Is it because I am so much fan girl coded, or it's just him who is so much my ideal coded? I really don't know.
But now I need to live in the present and focus on what he is teaching me.
"Ok, then pull the stick slightly towards here…"
And then we hit the ball, and it went at the right point.
I started jumping like a little kid in happiness while forgetting that he is around me.
And he did nothing, just looking at me with so much love in his eyes while folding his arms.
But wrong timing, as a group of boys over there were staring at me, and it's their bad luck — Yuan's eyes accidentally went towards them, and he noticed it that they are staring at his girl.
And I am so busy in my jumping that I hit the first ball perfectly, I didn't notice what he is staring at.
Then I stopped just by looking at him, as I saw he is staring at those boys, and I stopped jumping and asked him, "Yuan, did they steal your wallet? Then why are you staring at them?" I asked him innocently without even knowing what is really going on here.
He smiled and answered me in his most appealing way, "No, but they are about to… but don't worry, I won't let them."
I really didn't get what he said just now… but then he.....