Su Ming looked around the buildings on both sides of the street like a tourist. New York decades later indeed had a dark vibe, and the night smelled a lot like Gotham.
Deadpool was following behind him, slicing his own intestines with a knife and then throwing them on the ground.
Earlier, Deathstroke had used Deadpool's neck as a spool, pulling out his cancerous intestines and wrapping them around it, tying several dead knots. Now, Wade found it a bit difficult to speak.
"W.....h.....y?"
He asked the question with difficulty, not understanding why his cousin would strangle him with intestines and use a large egg beater to stir his insides.
Walking in front, Su Ming didn't turn his head, speaking lightly: "Just trying to see if I can kill you. You were seriously hurt earlier, so I thought it was a good opportunity. If I could strangle you with intestines, we wouldn't have to find Santa Claus."
"Oh." Deadpool nodded, simply cutting his own head off with a knife, aligning the intestines, and then putting his head back on, looking somewhat grateful: "Cousin, you really do love me, but the process was too painful, and I still didn't die."
"No worries, we have plenty of opportunities, just take it slow." Su Ming walked with ease, as light steam rose from a sewer grate on the street: "Next, we're going to find Spider Hero. You go find a car wash and rinse yourself off first."
Wade looked around and saw an automatic car wash. He shot the lock off, started the machine, then walked into the moving forest of big brushes like Damao, turning his head to face an uninhabited direction and muttered quietly:
"Audience friends, cousin actually said we're going to see Peter, should I let him? Cousin is too dark, and Peter's brain isn't right, his resistance is weak. If the dark virus infects Peter, to prevent Little Spider from becoming a zombie, I'm afraid I'll have to kill Dutch Brother. What? You say that Deathstroke abusing me was because Negative Sound Waves 'loves tattling' Bullet Head betrayed me? Of course, I knew, but someone as handsome as me has to play dumb sometimes, otherwise, my lumbar and kidneys can't handle it."
The furry roller brushes came with immense force, crashing down from all directions. Wade flailed like a small boat in the foamy sea of detergent.
He sighed, striking a Reclining Buddha pose as the conveyor slowly carried him to the end: "Cousin is just like that. I'm only telling the truth. He sees his own flaws but never corrects them. Well, forget it. You can't force things. It's enough that there's only one perfect person like me in the world."
Coming off the conveyor, Wade shook his body like a wet dog after swimming.
"Someone just commented saying that cousin could easily locate Santa Claus? Actually, I can too, but wouldn't that take the fun out of it?" Under the red and black mask, Wade's pizza face cracked a smile: "Actually, all I need is to find Domino and have her join the team, and we could find Santa Claus just wandering the street. But do you know why rich people bring chefs when climbing mountains? Haha..."
"What are you muttering about? Hurry up!"
Su Ming saw Wade standing outside the car wash, gesturing wildly like he was getting shocked, laughing eerily, and shouted helplessly.
"Coming!" Wade ran toward his cousin like a little girl, jumping up and down, and whispered, "Audience friends, hit that follow button, double-tap 666 to make me feel better. For now, today's live stream content is me and cousin's Christmas, don't go away... Don't call me dark, I'm a sunny guy!"
..........
It wasn't particularly cold this Christmas, so no little match girl would freeze to death by a trash can. The city was brightly lit, and the two walking down the street occasionally heard joyous laughter and music coming from the apartments.
The security in Queens was a bit better compared to Brooklyn, and even the street trees were wrapped in small lights, making walking at night brighter.
Wade had a large snowball in his hand, currently patching it up to make it look rounder. This was his Christmas gift for the Little Spider.
"Slade, we're here."
Su Ming looked up at the small two-story building in front of him. This was Peter's house, and even from across the street, you could smell some delicious food.
Of course, it would be better if Deadpool weren't around. There wasn't any appetite.
"Looks like they're having dinner." Su Ming could see a corner of the dining room on the first floor, shadows flickering under the warm yellow light.
"May's cooking is really good." This time Deadpool didn't argue. He reached out and pulled Su Ming, and the two hid behind the bushes in front of Peter's house, the staircase concealing them.
"You've eaten it?" Su Ming glanced at him sideways. There's no way Spider Hero would eat with Deadpool; Little Peter isn't that strong-willed of a hero.
"No, but look who that is." Wade lowered his voice, pointing toward the door.
They saw Aunt May seeing someone out. The middle-aged man was dressed in a fancy handmade suit, sporting a soul patch, but he looked wholly unserious.
"Even though I'm very busy, with millions at stake every minute, staying for dinner wouldn't be impossible. After all, I like Peter a lot too; he's a good kid." Although the middle-aged man said this, his eyes were as bright as light bulbs, fixated on May, almost shooting out beams of light.
The younger version of Aunt May twitched the corner of her mouth but maintained her ladylike demeanor: "No need, Mr. Stark, you better spend Christmas Eve with your girlfriends."
"Alright then, Peter, if you ever want a 'step uncle,' remember to call me."
Tony didn't push further; he winked at Peter and made a phone gesture with his hand.
"Hehe..."
Peter stood behind Aunt May, now left with only a dry laugh. He didn't want any step uncle and hadn't even heard of the term.
Looks like Iron Man, that playboy, had his eyes on his Aunt May. What should he do? Better go online and search after dinner.
Tony didn't care; he never was bothered by others' opinions. After flashing what he considered a suave smile at May, he turned and walked down the steps, standing by the roadside, saying, "Friday, initiate the armor."
Nanometer armor flowed out from his skin, quickly forming armor plates and mechanical structures, assembling into the complete Iron Man with clicks and clatters. Then, Tony's feet shot flames, his arms striking a pose filled with youthful zest, flying into the night sky.
Watching Iron Man vanish, Aunt May's face dropped. She poked Peter's head with her finger: "I don't mind you being a superhero, but you mustn't learn from him, understood? If you turn into a scumbag, I'll sever ties with you!"
"I understood, Auntie, but Iron Man is a hero; he saved our world." Peter hunched his neck honestly, turning back into the house.
May closed the door; perhaps because of the cold wind, or maybe due to Tony's greasiness, her arms were covered in goosebumps.
She quickly patted her hand back, like a cat with its fur standing on end: "No defending scumbags."
"I'm not, Auntie." Peter quickly waved his hand: "Rich playboys and the like, they're the worst."
"Yes, good boy, then let's prepare for dinner, go wash your hands; we shook his hand, need to sanitize." May rubbed Peter's head, relaxing her expression; after all, today is Christmas Eve, no need to let Stark, akin to a oversized teddy bear, spoil the mood.
She placed her hand on Peter's shoulder, and the two walked away from the door, their footsteps gradually fading.
"Faker, clearly I'm the one who saved the world, yet Iron Man again hogged my credit and still owes me payment; I've got to kill him." Wade leaped out of the bushes, drawing the blade strapped to his back, lifting his head to discern the direction Tony left.
"What about his contract with you? Let me see." Su Ming stood up from behind a bush, reaching out to Wade.
Wade lowered his head, gazing at the footprints on the snow-covered ground, diverted: "Anyway, it's like this, verbal agreement, yeah, verbal agreement, you know?"
Su Ming's gaze turned sharp; he saw through to the truth: "He never hired you, did he?"
"He did, remember that time I went to see the Avengers, found them researching some time machine, I said 'A time machine only needs a DMC12 car, installed with a super engine,' they didn't believe me, didn't even want to acknowledge me. So I said again, 'I can deal with Thanos, you're all just trash,' and Iron Man didn't even lift his head, responding, 'You handle it, if you can, I'll pay you,' cousin, would you call that an agreement?"
Wade said with grievance, his mask's white eyes appearing lackluster.
Su Ming tilted his head thoughtfully: "That sounds like, 'If you can do it, I'll backward scoot over' or 'If you do it, I'll stick my head into a five-speed fan,' just pure boasting, but I support you in claiming your pay; we mercenaries can't have our pay delayed, even if it's a few million."
Deadpool's little eyes curled into a crescent, he became cheerful: "Iron Man's weakness is women; I have a decent golden wig and conveniently a chiffon dress in my pocket, I can disguise as a woman to seduce him, and when he gets infatuated, one strike! Yes! That's how I'll end him."
As he spoke, Wade excitedly twirled his blade, the carbon sodium dual blades reflecting a brilliant shine under the moonlight.
"..." Su Ming looked at Wade with an expression akin to seeing an imbecile: "Do you not have a higher feasibility plan? As soon as he sees the red-black mask beneath the wig, he won't be bedding you, right?"
"Uh... that's indeed a problem, why don't you try?" Wade tilted his head.
"Hehe." Su Ming smiled without speaking.
"Cousin, did your hand slip again?" Wade looked down at the big hole in his belly, noticing the Godslayer changing from ice cream form back to a curved blade.
"No, this time it's my weapon that slipped on its own."
Su Ming walked closer to the window, peeking half of his head from beneath the windowsill, observing Peter's family's dinner process, paying no heed to the blood-dripping Deadpool behind him.