Back to Lìngxiāo's POV:
[Some moments earlier]
"W-Wait, wait, Gōngzǐ. Enough." Lìngxiāo made Chóng Fēi pause at the middle of something which felt like it was going to ruin him just by imagination.
It was too uncomfortable while he couldn't stop himself from judging about those no matter what.
The safety of his slightly unstable nine-tail fox core with the strange hybrid of black skin, white hair god form was too dangerous to be found in a place where he couldn't release his energy without being highlighted—which was one of his biggest enemies.
He knew this abandoned Mèi Xùe restaurant was the one which had the most haunted tales till now. He didn't choose this place out of only empty stubbornness, but also as a way to keep his grown-up ability—which he barely controlled—hidden without harming anyone. And to ask about this strange rumor Chóng Fēi was carrying without attracting unwanted attention.
This would give him something to work on while he grew trust with Chóng Fēi to get access more to his father's history and more narrow but sure paths to think about until Mō Qīn came back with the information he needed. He had informed him long ago to meet him here while he had been observing Chóng Fēi—until he got sick but aware in a dull way.
He could tell Chóng Fēi was still hiding something in a terrible way. The matter of his cousin—Zì Hāo—was on his list too. He really was dimmed by his sudden sickness, but he had felt it and intentionally stayed quiet. He was almost sure he would get much closer to the case too, even if it was a distant presence which didn't really belong to the red robe ghost.
It was half-familiar and half something else he had no language to describe.
But his plan was working great till now.
Even the question he wanted to ask hadn't taken the actual spot, but he was filling it in his own way—even if they were talking like exchanging silvers with golds.
But also—the fact that this nameless exorcist from Chóng Fēi's story had done nothing but seduce Chóng Fēi into it.
And he actually gave in.
That was too much for his own innocent, gentle yet sharp calculating mind. It felt like a necessary thread had been pulled out of his head—making it impossible not to rethink, question, and judge everything.
It made his hair stand up under his robes, his skin feel warm without his permission, and his blood feel like it was rushing from his heart and mind.
'How can a young boy get attracted to another young man just because..he is saying exactly what he might have been wishing to hear or..feel?'
'He should have understood that..he might have been manipulated.'
'But also..he had been raised differently. It is...understandable.'
He wore his bamboo hat again, hiding his face. His smile was pressed tight and uncomfortable. He didn't even have the comfort to talk by keeping his eye on him—for now.
'If he has this condition then..I have to keep more distance from him.'
'The plan of coming here was not wrong. He might make things hard on me again. Perhaps by the reason of suspecting me as Xiǎo Lìng or that I am trying to pull threads over Chóng Fēi Xiānsheng which perhaps nobody did before.'
'But...'
He sat at a corner of the carriage, protective of himself. His right hand opening and closing lightly.
'If he still tries to go far..as an elder, I have to teach him some lesson. No compromises here. Perhaps I have overreacted last time. But now I cannot help it.'
Then he gripped the fabric of his robe over his thigh—the same hand that had slapped Chóng Fēi. And he seemed really aware of it, unconsciously leading his hand over his face awkwardly.
Lìngxiāo's eyes narrowed.
'Is he..somehow scared of that slap?'
'Well..I did forgive him but..I do not know when he would make me do it again. I have no records of doing it before. No clan have been this..twisted. Almost desperate for something.'
'I should try to be more..giving in to him without breaking my boundaries in real. Just enough to let me help the town and find the connection of why..this same presence from my own past is roaming around him yet..I cannot catch it with my experience.'
"Are you doing this on purpose, Gōngzǐ..?" His voice was troubled. "You were just making me imagine things I should not be imagining."
Both were side-eyeing each other.
The reasoning and possible misunderstanding Chóng Fēi presented didn't really work on calming him down. He shifted awkwardly, his eyes darting outside or at random places.
"The details meant his words, his appearance. It seemed.. important, so I explained." Chóng Fēi quickly added, ridiculously trying to bring back his arrogance. "You wouldn't understand anything if I had skipped. Besides.. you wished to listen.. nothing even started.. just yet."
'Just started yet..?'
'It is..Uncomfortable. But interesting and..necessary enough to keep listening.
'After all I have promised to talk about this only into this carriage.'
Lìngxiāo blinked thoughtfully when he saw him lost in thoughts. His trembling lashes steadied for a while. Though he couldn't hide his judgment or silent panic with this whole idea. His heart was giving him signals.
"Y-you mean.. Gōngzǐ.. you had.. more things further with him..?" He couldn't help but carefully, finally looked at him. It felt insulting the way his words were falling from their place. "This.. on what was.. being built..?"
"Of course not!" Chóng Fēi hissed faintly. "I said.. it was a rumor. That guy made it worse.. by taking advantage of my cluelessness at that young age."
"Eighteen, Gōngzǐ.." Lìngxiāo reminded bitterly—but still far from his normal distance. His smile was slightly dark.
'I think I would need some space after this matter.'
This boy had his own prepared ways of justifications and defense—just as before. But now sharpened with biological and psychological facts which Lìngxiāo had heard but wasn't much interested in because they made him feel uncomfortable enough to get unsteady again.
The recent example didn't go missing on it.
Lìngxiāo exhaled through his mouth, adjusting in his seat like it was raining inside the carriage.
'I do..feel like this. But the less he knows the insides of mine, the more it would be better and flawless to complete my..three-headed mission.'
'It is not only about 'this' case. I have a strong feeling that I am on the right path.'
'Maybe..I should not be too hard on him right now. He is young. He did not share things without a reason too. I could at least..do this at the exchange of the slap. I do not wish to throw another because this one..might be too harsh.'
'I hope he..would not be too intimate..with me while the side effects are already under the skin of my palm. It burns to burst out.'
"I was.. already saying the short version—from the middle-end. This is long enough to be a single short volume of a novel." Chóng Fēi said, his cheeks still flushed but almost.. proud?
It made Lìngxiāo take an intake of silent disbelief, too offended by this that he feared his permanent smile was also failing to keep things professional.
'What is so..prideful in it..?'
'Not..my matter either.'
The rest of the words were bitter question-answers. His memory was already starting to let go of a few tiny things—the side effects of his unstable, secret ability—while his mind worked overtime to catch up.
When requested—or ordered—to sit beside properly, it felt like one step closer to his exposure. His gaze met his lightly, blinked a little too hot than he intended before softening lightly before he got caught with it.
'Is it this serious and necessary?'
'His stubbornness seems to have just sharpened over years..'
"A light support and you get the.. rest of the story. Or nothing." Chóng Fēi's tone turned arrogant again.
And then those reminders and conditions which felt like the piercing sounds of sword hitting flesh—felt exactly like that right now. He didn't easily get frustrated.
'Trying as you can. I would not back away. I have my preparations too.'
But the reminder Chóng Fēi dropped made him feel like he was being cruel. He wouldn't really admit but..it kind of hurt when at the end of the day he was called this after risking his own life for others' sake.
But since he knew how Chóng Fēi was, how he could never let go of clinging to these patterns, he didn't let the words dig too deep.
Besides, he never fully cared for his life for the sake of his life—but for what he had rights to have and know before dying.
Death was always in him more closely. Just it would be more meaningful if he knew why he was born, by whom, why left, why trained only to be left and roaming.
'I had worse before..this is..nothing.'
"Alright, as you wish. Gōng. zǐ." Lìngxiāo cut in. His chin lifted slightly more than his usual posture. "Continue.."
'I would see..how you challenge me more. I cannot soften just because I used to know you. Time has changed. I am not Xiǎo Lìng anymore..'
Lìngxiāo hesitated just faintly before slowly slipping closer—just into the usual distance which left Chóng Fēi stunned.
His right hand rested closer to Chóng Fēi's, his heart still not steadied yet, pulling with the golden core still reacting in him yet trapped.
"Just an arm.. nothing more. But less is.. better." He muttered to him.
When Chóng Fēi started to explain in a different tone calmly, he listened to his words.
Then a finger of Chóng Fēi touched faintly to his. So Lìngxiāo awkwardly moved it back just lightly—not cruel nor too giving in.
'This much..no, this much distance might help.'