Mei POV:
After the cleanup, we were dismissed and sent home. Instead of heading straight home, however, my friends invited me for an after-school outing to celebrate our win. I accepted happily.
The post-win hangout had been a blur of high-pitched laughter as we recounted the different events that had transpired earlier in the day.
Every time they mentioned something that I did, I laughed along with them as I maintained the perfect amount of modesty—just like always.
Time passed, and it was now 7:00 p.m. I was walking home as the sun set behind me, painting the sky in a bruised indigo. With each minute that passed, the sky grew darker. With each step I took, my legs spasmed—a constant reminder of the victory I had sold my body to achieve.
But the physical pain was nothing compared to this heavy feeling of nothing festering in my chest.
I'm… tired
Having to participate in every event was hard, but only physically. I could handle that. The real difficulty was…
"Ah! Hello Mei! Are you ready for another hard day of practice?"
"Excuse me, Mei, but we need help setting up here."
"No! You can do that after! Mei needs to help us with the cheer choreography first!"
"She can do all that later! She already said that she'd help us with the tug-of-war!"
"You can do this, Mei!"
"I believe in you!"
"Go Mei go!"
"Mei, that was a crazy goal!"
"Are you even better than the soccer club's captain?!"
"How are you not tired? You're almost like a superhuman!"
Those words continuously swirled in my head, as if I were cursed to bear the weight of them forever.
And yet... I hadn't stopped smiling a single time. I always had.
I gripped my wrist.
Always. Always.
ALWAYS.ALWAYS!ALWAYSALWAYSALWAYSALWAYSALWAYSALWAYS!
…
Have to smile.
Suddenly, I stopped and lowered my head. My hair fell along with it, obscuring the world from the edges of my vision. And with it, a single, heavy drop of water fell from my right eye and vanished into my shoe.
I'm… tired.
I'm so
So—
Tired…
I peeked through the curtains of my hair. If I continued forward, I would reach my house in less than five minutes.
I'm… going to be late.
I wiped off the lingering tears from my face, but kept my head down.
I have to greet Father.
I have to tell him that I won.
I have to help Mom.
I have to appease Uncle.
I have to continue smiling—
Just for a little longer.
I tried taking a step forward, but my legs refused to move. No matter what I did, I couldn't go.
I have to–
My eyes widened. My legs… were shaking. No—it wasn't just my legs. I lifted my hand closer to my face. It was trembling, enough that I could feel it in my bones.
I...
I bit my lip.
I—!
Then let out a heavy, deflating breath.
Don't want to go home…
At that moment, my entire body seemed to unravel. My legs grew still. My arms grew relaxed, falling to my sides. And my vision grew hazy—distant.
I don't want to see Father.
I don't want to see Mom.
I don't want to see Uncle.
I don't want to see anyone.
I just want…
To be alone.
My body moved on its own. I spun around and began to sprint in the opposite direction. Each step sent searing needles into my nerves, but I didn't stop.
I didn't have a direction in mind. Anywhere was fine. Anywhere—but home.
Before I realized it, the sun had set, drenching the world in complete darkness.
Eventually, my legs gave out, and I collapsed. I didn't try getting up. My body had reached its limit. It was even a struggle to sit upright. My arms and torso had no strength left. But after a minute or so, they finally did.
My lungs were on fire as I gasped for air. I'd been out of breath all day. And no one noticed.
I glanced around. I was in a familiar alleyway. I knew this place like the back of my hand.
It was the alleyway between two old, nearly abandoned buildings. No one would ever come here—no one except me. My place to be alone.
Clawing the ground, I dragged myself to my corner between a wall and an empty vending machine. Hiding within the vending machine's shadow, I curled into a ball.
I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face between them.
Then, my shoulders began to tremble. Subtle at first, then more violent.
The single tear that had fallen from my right eye became a flood from both, dampening my sleeves.
Quiet sniffles echoed through the alley occasionally, but that was all. There were no cries, no wails, no screams—just sniffles that were carried by the wind.
I don't know how much time passed, but a chill began to crawl up my arms. The longer I stayed, the colder it got. But I never left my spot.
This is… fine.
Would anyone even notice? Would anyone even care? Probably not. And that was fine with me.
I… don't care anymore.
That was a lie. I haven't cared in a long time.
Maybe… it'd be better if I just died here.
Died when no one was looking.
And no one would have to deal with me anymore.
Neither would I.
I gripped my wrist tight.
Yes…
I sank further into the shadows like the small, insignificant thing that I was.
I think I'll just…
A smile crept up my face.
Disappear.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of gravel shifting under someone's shoe. I tensed and went completely still, holding my breath.
Silence.
Yet, my tears continued to fall.
Please… just leave.
Just walk past me.
I don't want to be found.
Leave me alone.
For once…
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Suddenly, a cold, detached voice filled the space around me. "What are you doing here?"
It sounded just like mine, so much so that I thought it was all in my head—that I had finally lost my mind.
That was—until I felt the presence of a person standing directly in front of me.
Why?
Why did you have to find me…
Why?
Why?Why?!WHY?!
Before my mind could catch up, my body moved on its own.
I slowly lifted my head. I probably looked like a mess. My hair was matted with sweat and dirt, my eyes were red and puffy, and I had tear stains on my cheeks.
The only thing that remained flawless—was my cheery smile.
Then, I saw it. The face of the figure who had found me.
For a second, my smile strained.
The first thing I noticed was its eyes. They were dark, darker than even the shadows that dwelled in the alley. Almost as if they were... an all-enveloping black.
Those eyes struck a strange sense of familiarity in me. As if I had seen them before.
Of course I have.
They looked just like mine.
The clouds parted, allowing a glimmer of moonlight to shine down on the alleyway.
The shadows receded into the corners of the area, but never from the figure's eyes.
It was then that I saw it—saw him—in his full form.
Dark black hair, slightly on the longer side for a boy, but charming. His features were a little more feminine, making him look prettier than handsome.
Looking at him up close for the first time, he looked just like his sister.
His eyes, which had been fixed on mine, pulled lower. My cheek. My hair. My trembling arms. My legs. Then back to me.
His lips slowly curled upwards.
My eyes widened.
…I knew it.
You really are–
His lips raised higher and higher—until they formed a smile.
It wasn't the smile of someone here to save me. It wasn't the smile of someone here to support me. It was a dark, sarcastic, and utterly miserable grin.
I couldn't help but shiver.
It felt wrong—but familiar.
It felt like…
Me.
His lips slowly parted.
"Yo," he said, his voice a mix of light mockery and deep exhaustion. "I didn't expect to see you here, Mei."
My own lips parted as well.
Against my tears, against the state of my body, against my dishevelled appearance—I kept my voice as cheery as it always was.
"Hi! What are you doing here…" I paused, mustering everything I could to push out his name.
"...Hoshino?"