Hoshino POV:
It was around 7:00 p.m. by the time I got home. Usually, after sports day, we students were allowed to head straight home. My friends and I stayed out just a little later to celebrate. It was a short celebration, but fun.
I opened the door and stepped into the house. The same voice greeted me the moment I entered.
"Welcome home, Son. I hope you had a good day today," Mom called out whilst in the kitchen.
Just like usual, I slid off my shoes and went inside without a word.
I grabbed a cold glass of water from the fridge before climbing the stairs and heading straight for the shower.
When I finished, I went to my room and collapsed onto the bed. In my house, we strove to have family dinners most nights. But since I already ate, I decided that it was okay to skip out. And I also didn't feel like moving.
I pulled out my phone, sent Mom a quick text that I wasn't going to eat, then closed my eyes.
Finally, some relaxa–
The door to my room suddenly burst open. I let out a muffled groan before sitting. Dad and Lily stood in the doorway.
Lily had a triumphant look on her face as she barged in. Dad, meanwhile, looked troubled as he desperately beckoned her back.
"What are you doing here?" I said, letting my annoyance leak through. "Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"
Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What? Why are you lying? You don't sleep this early."
"Well, I'm tired. Unlike you, I actually did a lot today. So leave."
Lily snorted. "Oh, please. You can go to sleep later. I just want to talk to you!"
I glanced at Dad. "No offence, but why is he here then? Can't you just talk to him and leave me alone?"
Lily hopped onto my bed, ripped the blanket out of my hands, and snuggled close to me. "Well, Dad and I were talking about sports day, and then you came out of the bathroom. So we decided to include you in the conversation!"
"I think I would've preferred being left out if it meant getting sleep."
Lily kicked me from under the blanket. "Don't be like that! We just wanted to talk together! What's wrong with that?!"
There's nothing wrong with it; I just want my sleep. But… if Lily is so insistent on it, then I guess I can appease her just a little while.
I got off my bed, giving her all the room for herself, and sat in the chair near my desk.
"Anyway, as I was saying–" Lily began talking about whatever she had been discussing with Dad.
I pulled out my phone, trying to focus on my dailies as their conversation played in the background.
"Wasn't the save I did against Julie so good?! That basically won us the game!"
Dad chuckled as he gave her pats on the head. "Yes, you did a good job! That's my lovely Daughter right there!"
Even though they barged into my room, I didn't intend to participate in the conversation. The background noise was still nice, though.
"Right?! Tell me you're proud of me!" Lily exclaimed half-seriously, half-jokingly.
My thumbs froze against the screen.
I couldn't help but let out a quiet—almost non-existent—scoff.
Don't be stupid. Of course, he wouldn't say he's proud of you. He's never said that in my entire-
Dad's smile shifted, replaced by something softer, tender—almost… loving.
Lily stared at him with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open.
My skin crawled.
You can't be serious–
Dad took a deep breath, then spoke. "Of course I'm proud of you, Lily. You are my one and only lovely Daughter! I love you more than anything!"
Lily flinched as if she'd just been hit. But this time, she didn't try to run away.
Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes as she struggled to part her trembling lips. "D-do you… Mean that?"
Dad gave her a loving nod. "Of course I do. I am always honest."
I bit the inside of my mouth.
...What bullshit.
Lily jumped off the bed and pulled him into a tight hug, letting out a childlike cry. Dad let out a slow breath as he stroked the back of her head.
"Why are you crying? My lovely Daughter?"
My sister buried her face into his chest, struggling to suppress her sobs. "B-because… I've waited so long for you to say it! You've always acted disappointed in me!"
Dad frowned, a frown that seemed to extend much further than simply Lily's words. "...I'm never disappointed in you. Sure, you can annoy me and make me mad, but I'll always love you."
"R-really?"
Dad wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Of course!"
As if a dam had just burst, Lily's sobs filled the whole room as she unloaded years of perceived disappointment into his shirt.
He stroked her hair, patient and present for the first time.
Meanwhile... I watched. I watched them hug. I watched them reconcile. I watched... as he loved her.
This… has to be a lie.
I didn't hate Dad; I actually thought that he was a decent guy nowadays. But to say that he loved us—that he was proud of us…
The cold clutches of nauseating dread gripped my stomach, making my insides churn.
...This isn't fair.
I gripped my phone tighter.
Where's… mine?
The thought was a small, ugly thing that clawed at the back of my mind.
I knew I shouldn't ask for it, and I've accepted for the longest time that I'd never get it, and yet…
...You can say it to Lily, but you can't say it to me?
I knew I should have stopped. I knew that it was childish…
At this point, I'd rather you just admit it outright.
You.
You.
...Don't love me.
As Dad comforted Lily, he slowly shifted his gaze to me. I met it with the same detached expression I always had.
Dad closed his eyes, then looked directly at me with the same affectionate smile he'd shown Lily.
The scent of iron vanished, and my heart stopped.
Stop…
"And now, for you."
The moment the words left his mouth, the world grew still. Lily's cries, my fatigue, everything except for him and me.
....I don't want to hear it.
My ears perked up.
"Son, for the longest time…"
I don't need your recognition anymore.
His words silenced my thoughts altogether.
"I've always been proud of you. You're smart, you're funny, you're athletic, you have good friends, and you have a good head on your shoulders. I couldn't have asked for a better Son. I love–"
The moment he uttered the last word, everything fell into the background—someplace far and distant. Someplace where I'd never hear them again.
He… has to be lying.
My body instinctively got up from the seat. I couldn't hear a single creak.
If he's being honest, then why…
A smile crossed my lips.
Why did I do this for so long?
I slowly opened my mouth.
Why did you beat me all this time?
I adjusted my throat, making sure I produced the tone I wanted.
Why did you work me so damn hard?
"Dad…"
I could barely make out the words I was saying.
Why… did you always look at me like I was trash?
"Thank you–"
Dad's face from back when I was a kid flashed in my mind—but so did the way he looked at me now.
Why… have I been living like this all my life then?!
"I lo–"
My entire body went limp as the words left my mouth. The next few moments passed in a blur. Before I even realized it, Lily and Dad had left the room, and I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling.
I… don't want to be home anymore.
I slowly got out of bed, changed into the first thing I could grab without caring how it looked, then stepped outside.
I think I told my parents I was going on a walk. Maybe I didn't.
I hated walks.
I just walked aimlessly down the road. The same road I'd walked with Lily and Dad before sports day.
Cars drove past me. People brushed against my shoulders. But it didn't matter. I just walked, and walked, and walked.
When my eyes refocused, I was in an alleyway. The same alleyway where I met Mei that one time, and had ice cream with Dad and Lily.
I glanced at the table where we'd sat.
…Good times.
As I walked toward the table, I heard a sniffle come from behind me. My foot slid on the gravel as I stopped.
I turned around.
There was nothing but darkness. But I peered into it regardless. A little further in was an empty vending machine and a wall that closed off the alley.
My eyes narrowed.
In the very center of the darkness sat a person.
...I should leave them alone.
Yet, I approached until I stood just a few feet away. Not too close, not too far. Even from here, I couldn't tell who it was.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice resounding through the alley.
The figure slowly raised its head.
The clouds parted from above, allowing a glimmer of moonlight to descend. The shadows receded into the very depths of the alley.
And that's when I saw it—
That same, cheery smile.
…I knew it.
My lips slowly curled up.
No—I've known for a while.
They rose further and further.
But—there's no ignoring it anymore.
Not after this.
My lips rose until a smile of my own formed.