Evan was cleaning the garden. The grill was spotless. The ashes had been cleared out. He checked the shed next to it — charcoal, wood, kindling, fire starters, and matches were all in place.
The table and chairs were clean.
"Alright. When the girls want to have a barbecue, everything will be ready. Now, the kitchen and pantry?"
He headed to the kitchen. On the way, he waved at the girls — Aiko had convinced them to watch some shoujo anime. He peeked into the cold room. Everything was exactly as it should be. He checked the supplies.
"We've got all the basic ingredients."
The kitchen cabinets and fridges contained every spice and a good stock of sauces. Nothing was missing. He wiped them down and went to the butchery room.
He inspected all the tools: hooks, knives, cleavers — in short, all the equipment needed for breaking down meat. He picked one up and ran his finger along the blade.
"So sharp…"
He walked over to the carcass hoist and tested the lift and lower function. It worked perfectly. Finally, he looked at the chopping block. For some reason, it seemed incredibly solid to him. He examined the axe standing beside it and suddenly noticed a small bloodstain on the metal.
"Damn, how long has that been there?"
He quickly wiped it off. He saw his own reflection in the blade and glanced at the groove in the block.
"When I think about it, we've got some excellent equipment. Plenty to choose from."
The blade gleamed menacingly, as if it were thirsty for blood.
Evan chuckled softly. "I wonder what Frida would do if she saw me kneeling in front of the block."
He leaned over the chopping block.
"She'd probably strip me and throw me onto it."
"Don't tempt me."
He spun around. Frida was standing behind him — completely naked, wearing a strap-on, handcuffs on her belt, and holding a small bottle.
Before he could say anything, she ripped his shirt off, spun him around, cuffed his hands behind his back, and slammed him down onto the block so his neck was in the perfect position. Frida licked his neck. Evan felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine.
"Tell me, who would roast you best on a spit? Me or that stupid black fox?"
Evan looked at her and smiled.
"Of course you. You're the best grillmaster in the whole city."
Frida started stroking his ass.
"Really? The whole city?"
"For me, the whole world."
She kissed him and began pulling down his pants.
"The whole world?"
"Yes, Grill Alpha."
Frida's tail wagged wildly. She was drooling. Such compliments worked wonders on her. She yanked his pants and underwear down, poured lube onto his rear entrance, and pushed inside him with the strap-on.
"If I'm the world's grill alpha, I need to prepare my little piece of meat properly."
Evan gave her a genuine smile. She pressed his head down against the block and started fucking him hard. The whole scene — Evan in that position and their conversation — acted like a powerful aphrodisiac on her. Saying she could fuck him to death wouldn't have been an exaggeration.
Evan gasped and tensed up. Frida recognized the orgasm. But something surprised her so much that she decided to continue their fun in the kitchen.
The other three girls giggled like schoolgirls. Aiko spoke first.
"Evan's really putting in more and more effort in bed lately."
Morona nodded. Evan had been trying hard to give the girls something extra. Last time he was supposed to spend the night with Callisa, he suddenly put on classical music. For Aiko he added a manga-style atmosphere with Black Feast. For Morona he turned the room into a ritual chamber. Every one of them had had really great sex.
They watched calmly. This was already a familiar pattern. One of them would tease Evan until he refused to end up on the plate. It was a bit of a shame… but only a bit.
Frida laid him on the counter. Evan groaned — it was cold.
"So, my delicious human, what do you think I'm craving right now?"
Evan put on a fake fearful expression.
"You want to eat me?"
"Oh yes," she said, licking her lips.
"On a spit."
She licked her lips again.
"With herbs."
Frida started thrusting harder with the strap-on, breathing heavily.
"I'm thinking classic spicy BBQ. Salt, pepper, garlic, smoked paprika, celery powder, and chili."
"Oh no! We have all of that! What now?"
She chuckled lightly.
"Hickory wood?"
Evan turned his head and winked at her. Three warning lights went off in Frida's head: arousal, hunger, danger to Evan. The first two dimmed the third.
"And butter?"
"A lot of it."
Frida grinned widely, baring her teeth as drool dripped from them. The other girls, driven by excitement, began gathering ingredients. They all knew how this would end. Evan would say it any second now.
"And how does this taste?"
He lifted his foot to her face. Frida was momentarily surprised. The scent reached her nostrils. She sniffed several times, then licked it.
"Tasty, but it could use some seasoning."
She pretended to sprinkle spices on Evan's foot.
"Now it's perfect. Classic Spicy BBQ."
"I'm glad."
Hunger flooded Frida's mind, amplified by arousal.
"Evan… would you be my BBQ?"
This was the moment to stop. Everyone was waiting for it. But…
"Would you like that?"
"Very much. I'm horny and starving."
At that moment the girls began to feel uneasy. But the sudden loud growling of their stomachs drowned it out.
"Really? That would be nice."
Frida was now running on pure instinct. She was drooling heavily. Her tail wagged so fast it looked like it might fall off.
"Oh Evan, my wonderful little piece of meat. I really want to eat you. I'll turn you into perfect BBQ. Say I can."
She kissed him — a long, wet kiss.
"Say it… please."
Evan looked at her with such passion that his gaze felt like real heat.
"Frida… Eat m—"
A loud crash suddenly interrupted everything. It sounded as if someone at a formal philharmonic concert had started scratching glass while playing a vuvuzela and farting in rhythm.
Arousal vanished. Anger took its place.
"Who the hell dares?"
Two rabbits, a goat, and a ram burst into the room.
"It's that gang that jumped me," Evan said.
Frida growled furiously. Damn it, she was ready for Evan to say "no" and stop things, but this called for bloody revenge. How dare this loser interrupt her?
The gang was in shock. They had expected chaos and whimpering… but what did they see?
"What the fuck is going on here?" the smaller rabbit asked.
"How can he fuck her like that?"
The ram's eyes bulged.
"It's not him. She's the one pegging him with a strap-on," the goat said.
"Faggot," the ram concluded.
"Who the fuck cares?!" the bigger rabbit roared.
Frida glared at them furiously, still growling.
"You again?! Didn't the last beating teach you anything, or do you just like getting your ass kicked?"
"Better not get cocky, Frida."
All four pulled metal pipes and baseball bats from behind their backs.
"Your crew isn't here. You can't handle us alone."
Evan looked at them.
"And that's why you ran from Morona?"
The rabbit tensed, then narrowed his eyes and shouted:
"Shut your fucking mouth, fag!"
He raised his pipe.
"Listen, Frida — get on your knees, and the rest of you bring all the cash from this shithole."
Frida glanced at the enemies, then at her friends. She weighed the risk.
"And if I don't?"
"We'll trash this stinking dump."
To prove his point, he smashed the nearest cabinet. Wood cracked and glass shattered. The other three readied their weapons.
"You won't stop us. Next is plasma."
The rabbit was sure he had won. Suddenly he felt fear. His instincts screamed danger. He heard growling behind him and turned.
A wolf in a flannel shirt stood there.
"Drop your weapons and get on the ground. Maybe you'll get a lighter sentence."
The rabbit's instincts howled at him to run, to drop everything and save his life. But pathological pride kept him in place.
"And who the fuck are you?! Want a beating?!"
The wolf frowned. The rabbit felt sweat run down his back.
"I'll say it one more time. Drop the weapons! Surrender!"
"Fuck off!"
The rabbit roared and swung the pipe with all his strength at the wolf's chest. He had knocked out predators with that punch before. His fist was like stone. But the wolf didn't even flinch — as if he felt nothing.
"What the—? One more time!"
Another blow. Still nothing.
He threw the pipe away and started wildly punching the wolf with his fists, hitting so hard he could have dominated an entire street fight. Finally he stopped, purely from exhaustion. His opponent stood exactly where he had been, without moving even a millimeter. Only his crumpled shirt showed any evidence of the hits.
"Boss, what the hell?" the second rabbit shouted.
"Is he on Mongolian meth?"
The ram stared in a daze but still approached, raising the baseball bat high.
"Who is this guy?!" the goat asked in shock.
The wolf pulled out his wallet and showed a document with his photo. The ram looked at it.
"Chief Commissioner for Meat and Slaughter… What the fuck is this?"
"Huh?" the rabbit said.
"It says that right here," the ram replied, now completely dumbfounded. The rabbit looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Show me. Chief Commissioner for Meat and Slaughter, you moron."
"It says 'moron' there too? Holy condoms…"
Understanding hit the rabbit like a meat tenderizer. Anger and confidence drained from him. Only fear and the will to survive remained.
"WE'RE FUCKED!!! RUN!!!"
The ram wanted to ask what was going on when a massive wolf paw suddenly grabbed him by the neck. The next thing he tasted was the floor.
"That's the boss of all bosses!"
The second rabbit tried to attack. He managed maybe one step before the Commissioner caught him and hurled him into the goat.
The terrified leader froze like a frog facing a snake — as Aiko would have put it.
It didn't take long before he too tasted the floor. It tasted like lemon.
A moment later, all four were hanging by their ankles in the processing room.
"Thank you for the help, Commissioner Vollmond."
Ernst looked at her indifferently, as if he had seen this many times before.
"No need to thank me. It's my duty."
Then he turned to the hanging gang.
"What do you have to say for yourselves?"
They all stared at the wolf with pure fear in their eyes. One of them burped.
"Lawyer!"
"Can you afford one?"
They looked away.
"Shame. You could use one."
He gave them such a menacing look that the whole gang shrank.
"Breaking and entering, death threats, robbery, property damage, assault on an officer, and attempted escape."
Each member of the gang pulled out a few low-denomination bills from their pockets.
"We'll add attempted bribery to that. You're in serious trouble."
The whole gang curled up even smaller. Ernst pulled out his phone.
"Dispatch, this is Chief Commissioner Vollmond. I have four suspects in custody. Send a team immediately. Good, I'll wait."
He hung up.
"They're on their way."
He looked at Frida and Evan.
"Could you two get dressed?"
Evan dashed to the cold room to grab his clothes. Frida ran upstairs.
The next day, while shopping, they stopped by the butcher's shop. The entire gang was sitting gagged in the display window.
The girls mocked them for a good fifteen minutes. Evan, meanwhile, wondered if it was comfortable in there