The scene opened at Three Bowls Tavern in Liyue.
Two adorable yet absurdly smug dragon-shaped creatures had already struck their poses.
One was blue.
The other brownish-gold.
Judging by the video title alone, it was obvious who they were meant to represent—
Neuvillette and Morax.
…
The moment this image appeared, the entire chat group froze.
Some people thought their eyes were playing tricks on them and immediately rubbed them.
After confirming it was real—
Everyone went dumb.
They had expected something like Barbatos' usual nonsense dancing.
But this?
Not humanoid forms.
Dragon forms.
And not majestic dragons either—
But cute, stubby, ridiculously goofy ones.
Good grief.
You can dance like this too?!
With curiosity overpowering shock, everyone kept watching.
On the Light Screen
A bizarrely catchy song titled "ホモエシテ" began to play.
Deng-deng-deng-deng~
Deng-deng-deng-deng-deng-deng~
To the rhythm of this cursed background music, the two dragon-shaped beings began dancing.
They waved their arms.
Tiptoed on their tiny legs.
Spun in circles, swishing their tails.
Sometimes they interacted—
Face rubbing face.
Face rubbing tail.
Tail rubbing face.
Throughout the entire routine, the two dragons shook with complete abandon.
Absolutely vibing.
From the outside, however—
It was pure abstraction.
Below the stage, Furina and Xiao were utterly stunned.
The video was short.
Barely over ten seconds.
Then—
It ended.
Audience Reaction
People drinking water immediately sprayed it everywhere.
People eating nearly choked.
People walking stumbled mid-step.
But no one cared about themselves anymore.
Every single viewer stared at the light screen with blank expressions.
They were completely, utterly stunned.
This dance was just—
They wanted to comment.
They really did.
But after struggling for several seconds, they found no words.
It was simply too cursed.
Too magical.
Fontaine — Palais Mermonia
Silence filled the hall.
Furina stared at the freely dancing dragon-version of Neuvillette, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
She'd seen cursed meme videos before.
But this?
This reached an entirely new tier.
Especially since one of the performers was—
A person she knew.
A very serious, upright person.
That contrast alone was lethal.
Then—
Pfft.
She broke.
"HAHAHAHA—look at that twisting! That tail swing—!"
"HAHAHA—this is too abstract, too cursed!"
"HAHA—Neuvillette, I never expected you, of all people, to have a side like this—!"
She laughed until tears streamed down her face.
Clutching her stomach, she collapsed onto the sofa, completely losing composure.
Sure enough—
Nothing beats watching your own people get memed.
Nearby, Neuvillette's face darkened.
His ominous premonition had come true.
But why—
Why was he being dragged into a Liyue god's unserious review?!
If dragons were needed, wasn't Dvalin or Azhdaha more suitable?!
Adding this to the previous incident where Navia "bombarded the Dragon Sovereign into tears"—
This was already his second deeply abstract appearance.
Even more cursed than the unserious commentary itself.
His dignified image as Fontaine's highest judge was utterly shattered.
Replaced by—
A goofy, meme-tier, emotionally fragile hydro dragon who shed pearls at the drop of a hat.
"…I hope this doesn't affect future trials."
Neuvillette sighed helplessly.
Noticing his subordinate's state, Furina finally straightened up.
Wiping away tears, she forced herself to stop laughing.
"Relax. You're not the only one getting bullied."
"Think about Dvalin. Morax. And Azhdaha coming up later."
"So don't worry~"
Neuvillette paused.
…She was right.
It wasn't just him.
If everyone was suffering, then it was fair.
His mood improved slightly.
Just as he was about to thank her—
Furina suddenly leaned in, grinning mischievously.
"Lady Furina… what are you—?"
"Nothing much~ I just want to invite you to join my Demon God Performance Troupe!"
"…The what?"
"It's like Alice's idol group—but instead of idols, we recruit high-status actors!"
"You, Morax, Barbatos—all perfect candidates!"
"I'll be the director, you'll be performers!"
"Just imagine—dancing like today, going viral across all of Teyvat!"
She spread her arms excitedly.
After resolving Fontaine's prophecy, she fully intended to step down anyway.
Being a superstar director sounded far more fun.
Neuvillette fell silent.
Today was already painful enough.
Actually performing?
He felt a chill crawl up his spine.
Seeing him quiet, Furina leaned closer.
"Well? Are you in or not?"
"…"
"I'm ordering you as your superior—answer me!"
"…I drank nuclear wastewater. I can't perform."
"..."
Guili Plains
After receiving the coordinates, Xiao had been rushing toward Liyue Harbor.
But upon seeing the video—
He stopped.
"…That… is the Geo Archon?"
Watching Morax's cursed dance, Xiao's perpetually expressionless face finally cracked.
Eyes wide.
Mouth slightly open.
Completely stunned.
As the dragon danced, Xiao's expressions cycled—
Shock.
Confusion.
Existential doubt.
It was spectacular.
After the video ended, he remained silent for a long while.
Finally, he sighed.
"The Geo Archon must have his reasons."
"It's just that my level of understanding isn't sufficient yet."
"There are more pressing matters at hand. I'll contemplate it later."
With that, Xiao vanished in a gust of wind.
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
Zhongli had already felt uneasy and reached for a drink.
Then—
Pfft.
He spat it out.
For someone as composed as Rex Lapis to lose control like this—
The mental damage was obvious.
Hu Tao, Venti, and Dvalin immediately burst into laughter.
"Hahaha—Consultant, your retirement dance is amazing!"
"Impressive taste, old man~!"
"Cough—Morax and the Hydro Dragon both danced so well—pfft!"
Zhongli could only sigh internally.
If it were anyone else—
Barbatos. Azhdaha.
He'd be laughing too.
But since it was him—
Utter misery.
Venti's grin widened.
Serves you right for mocking me earlier~
He glanced at Hu Tao.
"Director Hu, that dance was great—but watching isn't enough."
"How about making the old man perform it live?"
"Use your request."
Zhongli's eyes widened.
That crossed a line.
He immediately looked at Hu Tao.
Hu Tao hesitated—tempted.
Then shook her head.
"Eh, forget it. The consultant's had it rough."
Zhongli exhaled in relief.
But then—
"Still, my request is even rarer."
"I can't waste it."
"What if something even more fun comes later?"
"So let's wait~"
She smiled slyly.
"Brilliant reasoning!"
Venti applauded.
Zhongli's smile froze.
He'd underestimated her.
The Director was still the Director.
Who knew what horrors awaited next?
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine:
I imagined ten thousand dance styles—never this! (shocked.jpg)
Paimon:
It's cursed, hypnotic, and unforgettable! You're confused watching it—but can't stop thinking about it!
Barbara:
Wait… hasn't something like this happened before?
Ganyu:
I remember! Keqing's exclusive song—My Grilled Beef Skewers!
Yae Miko:
Ah~ you're right. Equally cursed and magical! (evil laugh.jpg)
Alice:
Worthy of our Liyue Thunder—! (🐶)
Keqing:
...
Keqing:
Ganyu, stop chatting or Tartaglia will escape.
Ganyu:
Ahem—yes, Lady Keqing!
The topic soon returned to Zhongli.
Nahida:
One is Fontaine's Chief Justice, the other Liyue's Geo Archon—both serious by nature, yet…
Yae Miko:
Yet they performed this? (evil laugh.jpg)
Venti:
Ehe~ the contrast is perfection!
Wriothesley:
Haha! Increase the intensity—especially for Neuvillette!
Hu Tao:
Agreed! And this dance needs a name—"Two-Hundred Dance"! (🐶)
Furina:
Great name! Shame it's missing dragons—add Dvalin and Azhdaha and it'd be perfect!
Lumine:
Four-dragon battle dance? I'm in!
Dvalin:
...
Azhdaha:
...
Damage Control
Alice:
Where are the adepti? Your beloved Geo Archon danced—aren't you commenting? (evil laugh.jpg)
Awkward silence.
Then—
Xiao:
The Geo Archon must have his reasons!
Alice:
Oh? What reasons? (evil laugh.jpg)
Ningguang:
Simple. This was diplomatic strategy.
Ningguang:
Fontaine values performance culture. The Geo Archon used dance to build goodwill with the Chief Justice—strengthening future cooperation.
Xiao's eyes lit up.
Yes!
That was it!
Xiao:
Exactly!
Zhongli:
Ahem—Lady Ningguang is correct. That was my intention. (serious.jpg)
Neuvillette:
Indeed. I sensed Morax's sincerity. Fontaine and Liyue shall deepen cooperation.
Zhongli:
Naturally.
Everyone stared.
…That actually worked?!
The Villa
Luo Chen raised an eyebrow.
As expected of Ningguang.
Much better than "the Geo Archon has reasons."
Then he smiled.
But what if I play the "Zhongli" card next?
He cleared his throat.
"Ahem. Having reviewed Morax's dance skills…"
"Let's move on to the final part of his retirement life."
"Third point—Zhongli."
"After staying in Liyue too long, Morax grew bored."
"So he traveled to an old friend's land—Mondstadt."
"There, he took on a side job."
"Zhongli."
"Now—let's enjoy this special performance."
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