Just like before, Jean and Lisa were enjoying their afternoon tea while casually watching the light screen's unserious commentary.
As the review progressed, their moods lifted—and Jean couldn't help but feel a sense of relief.
The joy was obvious.
As expected of the light screen, the angle of these unserious takes was as sharp and outrageous as ever.
It was genuinely entertaining.
As for the relief—
That came from the fact that Mondstadt was no longer suffering alone.
After yesterday's commentary on the Anemo Archon, Barbatos' image as a god who never did his job had been deeply ingrained in everyone's minds.
As a result, the way other nations looked at Mondstadt had become… strange.
Jean noticed it.
But there was nothing she could do.
Now, though?
Things were different.
Mondstadt was no longer the only one with a "problematic" god.
Liyue's Geo Archon had joined the club.
Mondstadt finally had a brother in misfortune.
That realization instantly eased Jean's heart.
Relaxing, she lifted her warm teacup and took a sip—
Only to pause mid-motion.
"…Traveling to Mondstadt?"
"And earning some extra income here?"
"Don't tell me… this unserious review involves Mondstadt too?"
Across from her, Lisa replied lazily,
"Having people from other nations involved in these reviews is perfectly normal."
"But this time…"
She folded her arms, curiosity flickering in her eyes.
"Not Zhongli—Zhongli."
"Which means…"
"…Could this be related to Klee?"
"Klee?"
Jean looked startled.
No matter how she thought about it, she couldn't see how Klee and the Geo Archon could be connected.
But then she remembered Neuvillette.
Those two had ended up linked somehow too.
…In that case, maybe Klee wasn't completely impossible.
After all, their names did sound similar.
"But what connection could Klee possibly have with the Geo Archon?"
Jean frowned.
"Surely the 'side job' isn't… babysitting?"
"That's hard to say~"
Lisa shook her head lightly.
"But knowing the light screen, it definitely won't be that simple~"
Jean fell silent and turned her gaze back to the screen.
"…I just hope it doesn't get too outrageous."
Liyue — Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
"Huh?"
"Consultant, you went to Mondstadt again?"
Hu Tao looked at Zhongli in surprise.
Opera, bird-walking, food tasting, dancing—and now traveling too?
This retirement life was really something.
Venti was just as surprised.
But what really caught his interest was the phrase 'side job'.
Grinning, he poured Zhongli a drink and handed it over.
"So, old man—what kind of money did you make in Mondstadt?"
"Bring me along next time~"
"We're both broke gods now. We should help each other, right~?"
Zhongli: "..."
Tourism?
Side job?
If only it were that simple.
He didn't know what "Zhongli" meant—
But judging from how each new review kept getting more unhinged than the last…
This was definitely another disaster.
A deep unease settled in his chest.
Ignoring the two chaos enthusiasts, he took the cup and drank.
Gulp gulp gulp.
Hu Tao, Venti, and Dvalin exchanged grins.
All eyes turned toward the light screen.
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine:
Huh? Traveling to Mondstadt for extra income? Does Mondstadt really have a "Zhongli" kind of side job? (curious.jpg)
Paimon:
This… doesn't really feel like a side job. More like…
Furina:
More like wordplay—Neuvillette, water lizard, Barbatos-style stuff!
Wriothesley:
Hahaha, every time this happens, Neuvillette gets dragged out and whipped again.
Yoimiya:
Ayaka too~
Neuvillette:
...
Kamisato Ayaka:
...
Venti:
Ehe~
Nahida:
Now that you mention it… Mondstadt does have someone named Klee, right? Both names end with "Li"!
Klee:
Eh? Is someone calling Klee? (curious.jpg)
Alice:
Zhongli? Klee? Wait—hold on!
Alice:
So you went to Mondstadt to help take care of my precious daughter, Zhongli?
Alice:
Oh my~ how embarrassing~
Alice:
Next time I'll bring Klee to Liyue and treat you to a meal!
Zhongli:
...
Please don't.
Ningguang:
Ahem. Probably not babysitting—otherwise the keywords would've pointed that way.
Yae Miko:
Then what could it be~? Don't tell me… impersonating little Klee? (fox smile.jpg)
Lumine:
Wait—impersonating Klee? Don't tell me… (shocked.jpg)
Paimon:
Gasp—no way… (shocked.jpg)
Nahida:
Ah… (surprised.jpg)
Furina:
Oh my… (surprised.jpg)
Alice:
???
Klee:
Eh?
What started as a joke suddenly felt… dangerously plausible.
After all, this was the light screen.
Absurdity was its specialty.
The chat fell silent as everyone nervously looked back at the screen.
As for Zhongli—
"…Impersonating a little girl…"
He muttered unconsciously.
He had lived among mortals under many identities.
But never as a child.
Never mind a little girl.
A tension he hadn't felt since the Archon War crept into his heart.
The Light Screen
With a few clicks, Luo Chen played the next video.
[Zhongli: Da-da-da~]
Cheerful music burst out instantly.
Deng-deng-deng~
Deng-deng-deng~
Large flashing tags filled the screen:
Strolling the Mortal World
God of Contracts
Star-Shattering Rock
Wallet-less Archon
You Should Lend Him Mora
Very Handsome Brown
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
Miss It and You'll Regret It
Liyue's Poorest Top-Tier Combatant
Are You Talking About That Big Kid?
Zhong Er-Zhu
This Is Fate's Choice
Then—
The real show began.
In front of the Knights of Favonius, Morax appeared.
Still human.
But very, very wrong.
Gone were the sharp dragon eyes.
Instead—
Huge, round, adorable eyes like Klee's.
An oversized open mouth.
On a child, it would be unbearably cute.
On Morax?
Utterly cursed.
The chat collectively went blind for a second.
That's Morax?!
That's the God of War?!
This was even worse than the dragon dance.
The Video Continues
Morax turned and spotted Lumine, then spoke in an overly childish voice.
"Hmm?"
"Are you here to play with Zhongli?"
"Then you watch out for me!"
"If you see Acting Grand Master Jean, tell me right away~!"
"Hehe, let's go~!"
He ran off happily.
Big text appeared:
Zhongli: The Poor Geo Archon.
Frequent Dine-and-Dash Customer at Wanmin and Xinyue Pavilion.
Liyue's Grand Master of Credit.
Cut to Mondstadt's wilderness.
Morax gleefully beat up hilichurls.
"Ha!"
"Hey!"
"Hyah!"
Then—
"Jumpy Dumpty!"
"Today's version—extra firepower, not for fish!"
Everything got petrified.
Explosions filled the grasslands.
Morax ran through them with arms spread, laughing—
Straight into Jean.
Music stopped.
"Zhongli."
"You know the consequences, don't you?"
Next scene—
The confinement room.
Time passed.
The door opened.
Morax stepped out, blinking, tilting his head, striking a cute pose—
And ran off again.
"Hehe, da-da-da~!"
More explosions.
More hilichurls.
Final line:
"Next time, let's go fish-blasting together!"
Aftermath
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Dragon dance had been weird.
But this?
Every frame was cursed.
Every word was cursed.
Every movement screamed chaos.
Even without the previous reviews, this alone was enough to shatter the Geo Archon's image.
Truly—Sumeru lies empty, and the Dendro Archon walks among mortals.
Especially for the people of Liyue.
They simply couldn't reconcile this with the Rex Lapis they knew.
Just like how Mondstadt once felt.
Everyone else, however, laughed freely.
Ordinary Chat Group
Lawrence:
Ahem… didn't expect Liyue's Geo Archon to take such side jobs in Mondstadt. Not bad! (🐶)
Harry:
I don't usually laugh… but this time—HAHAHA—
Zheping:
First cursed dancing, now this. Ordinary people can't withstand it—HAHA—
Dunyazard:
No wonder the Anemo and Geo Archons get along so well—both excel at not doing their jobs! (🐶)
Moneo:
So this is what gods do when they slack off and retire? Love it~ (🐶)
Effie:
Huh? Where are the Liyue people? Why aren't you laughing? Don't you like smiling? (🐶)
Chef Mao:
...
Iron Tongue Tian:
...
Ying'er:
...
Mondstadt — Confinement Room
Klee stared at the screen with shining eyes.
That Zhongli big brother…
Was exactly like her!
Afraid of Jean.
Loved explosions.
Loved fish-blasting.
Even confinement!
Her excitement exploded.
"Wow! Zhongli big brother is just like Klee!"
"He must be a really good person!"
"Next time I'll ask Mommy to take me to play with him—and blast fish together!"
Jean's Office
Jean and Lisa exchanged looks.
Replace Zhongli with Klee—
And it was her daily routine.
But with a giant-eyed Geo Archon?
Utterly cursed.
Lisa chuckled.
"Our Acting Grand Master is amazing~"
"Even the Geo Archon fears you~"
"And you even locked him up~"
Jean sighed.
"This unserious review…"
"…It really lives up to the light screen's reputation."
The Geo Archon's dignified image?
Completely shattered.
And judging by the trend—
He wouldn't be the last.
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
patreon.com/nani_kaito