Jay pov.
I was sitting on the couch for a while now when Kade was asleep on my lap. I again checked his fever.
Mama's call came, she was asking about kade's health also Percy intrupted with his drama.
After talking to them I decided to take a nap. I went upstairs with Kade and took a nap while Kade was sleeping on my chest.
I don't know why I'm feeling uneasy. My heart is pounding fast.
I shook this feeling away and fall asleep.
__
Keifer POV
The meeting ended later than expected.
I leaned back in the car seat and rubbed my eyes for a moment. Long day. Too long.
I checked my phone. No new messages. Jay was probably sleeping already with Kade.
A small smile appeared on my face. I could already imagine it: Kade spread across the bed like he owned the house, and Jay probably sleeping in some weird position while hugging him.
Idiots. My idiots.
I opened our chat for a second before locking the screen again. I'll call when I get home.
Then my eyes moved toward the side mirror.
My expression immediately hardened.
A black SUV. Following.
I looked at the front mirror. Another one.
"...Sir?" my driver said quietly.
"I know."
The warm feeling disappeared instantly. I sat up straight.
"Don't go home yet."
Because if this was who I thought it was—I wasn't bringing danger anywhere near Jay and Kade.
The car behind us suddenly accelerated. Too fast.
My jaw clenched. "Move."
The driver stepped on the gas. Tires screeched. Another car appeared from the left.
Then—
BANG!
The entire car shook violently. The impact slammed my shoulder against the door.
"Damn it—"
Another hit. Harder.
The driver lost control. I grabbed the seat tightly. Everything spun.
Then—
CRASH!!
Glass shattered. Metal twisted. Pain shot through my body.
My vision blurred. Voices. Shouting. Somebody yelling my name.
I tried opening my eyes properly, but everything looked unclear.
Then only one thought entered my head.
Jay. Kade.
...I need to get home.
Darkness swallowed everything.
---
Jay POV
I suddenly opened my eyes.
My breathing was uneven. For a second I just stared at the ceiling. The room was dark. Kade was still asleep on my chest, his tiny face pressed against me peacefully.
But my heart...
My heart was beating so fast.
Why?
I slowly touched my chest. "...What is this feeling?"
I felt scared. And I didn't even know why.
I looked at Kade and hugged him closer. Maybe I'm overthinking. Yeah. Probably overthinking.
Then—
My phone suddenly rang.
I frowned. Keifer? No. Unknown number.
Why would someone call this late?
I carefully answered. "Hello?"
Silence.
Then a hesitant voice. "...Ma'am."
My eyebrows furrowed immediately. I knew that voice. One of Keifer's men.
My chest tightened. "...Yes?"
Silence again. Too much silence.
Then—
"Please don't panic."
...
My whole body went cold.
Jay POV
My fingers suddenly felt cold around the phone.
No.
No no no.
People only say "please don't panic" when something is wrong.
Really wrong.
My throat suddenly felt dry.
"W-what happened?" I asked.
Silence.
I heard distant voices.
Footsteps.
Then—
"Sir got into an accident."
...
Everything around me went silent.
Accident?
Keifer?
No.
No.
No.
Not him.
Not Keifer.
The phone almost slipped from my hand.
"K-Keifer..."
Quickly—
"Ma'am, he's alive."
Alive.
My mind held onto that word immediately.
Alive.
But somehow my chest still hurt.
Because if they had to tell me alive first...
Then it meant I should be scared of the rest.
My eyes immediately filled with tears.
"Where is he?!"
"He was taken to—"
I wasn't even listening anymore.
I sat up too quickly on the bed.
My breathing became uneven.
Then—
"Mmm..."
I froze.
Kade moved against my chest.
His tiny face scrunched sleepily from being disturbed.
Slowly he opened his eyes.
He looked confused.
Then looked at me.
Looked at my face.
At the tears falling.
His little eyebrows frowned.
"Mamama..."
His tiny hand reached toward my cheek.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Like he was trying to wipe the tears away.
...
That completely broke me.
I hugged him immediately.
"Oh God..."
Kade let out a small confused sound and pressed himself against me.
He didn't understand what was happening.
Didn't know why Mama was crying.
He only knew Mama wasn't okay.
And suddenly I started shaking harder because for the first time tonight—
I was terrified of what I was about to see when I reached Keifer.
---
Jay POV
My hands wouldn't stop shaking.
I quickly wiped my face with the back of my hand.
No.
I can't break down right now.
Not now.
Kade was still clinging to me sleepily, his warm little body pressed against my chest. His tiny fingers were holding my shirt.
He looked at me with heavy eyes.
"Mmm...Mama..."
My chest hurt.
I kissed his forehead quickly.
"It's okay baby... it's okay..."
Liar.
Absolute liar.
Nothing felt okay.
I carried Kade downstairs while trying to breathe properly.
One step.
Then another.
But my legs felt weak.
My mind kept repeating the same thing over and over—
Keifer.
Accident.
Keifer.
Accident.
No.
Stop.
Stop thinking.
I grabbed Kade's diaper bag with shaking hands and almost dropped it.
Idiot, Jay.
Focus.
Focus.
Then suddenly I heard the front door open.
I immediately turned.
One of Keifer's men rushed inside.
His face looked pale.
He stopped after seeing me.
"...Ma'am."
I stared at him.
"...How bad."
Not where is he.
Not what happened.
Just—
"How bad?"
His eyes widened slightly.
Silence.
Too much silence.
My heart dropped.
"K-Keifer—"
"Ma'am," he quickly said, "Sir is alive. He was conscious for a while before reaching the hospital."
Conscious.
Okay.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
Then why does your face still look like that?!
I hated this.
I hated not knowing.
I hugged Kade closer and immediately walked toward the door.
The man looked surprised.
"Ma'am?"
I looked at him.
My eyes were already full of tears again.
"Take me to him."
My voice came out small.
Shaky.
"...Take me to my husband."
__
The entire car ride felt unreal.
Streetlights passed one after another outside the window.
I couldn't focus on anything.
I was holding Kade tightly against my chest while he slept again from exhaustion, his tiny face pressed into my neck. Usually Keifer would scold me for holding him too tightly.
"Jay, he's a baby, not your stress ball."
...
My eyes burned again.
Stupid Keifer.
Stupid.
You better be okay.
I looked outside the window and started shaking my leg unconsciously. Fast. Very fast. Then faster.
One of Keifer's men glanced at me through the mirror.
"Ma'am, Sir is receiving treatment—"
"I know."
My voice came out quietly.
Then after a few seconds—
"...Was he scared?"
Silence.
The man looked surprised.
I stared down at Kade's tiny hand.
"When it happened..." I whispered, "...was Keifer scared?"
Because I knew him.
Keifer wasn't scared for himself.
Never for himself.
But—
For us?
For me?
For Kade?
...
The man lowered his eyes.
Then quietly said—
"Sir kept trying to stay awake."
My breathing stopped.
"He kept saying he needed to go home."
...
"He kept saying his wife and son were waiting."
I looked down immediately.
Because tears suddenly fell before I could stop them.
Idiot.
Idiot.
Idiot.
I pressed my lips together hard.
A few minutes later the car slowed.
Then stopped.
I looked up.
Hospital.
No.
No no no.
My heart started pounding so hard I could hear it.
I got out while carrying Kade.
My legs suddenly felt weak.
Because now—
I was finally here.
And for the first time tonight—
I was scared to walk through those doors.
Jay POV
The hospital doors opened.
Cold air immediately hit my face.
I hate hospitals.
I hate the smell.
I hate the white walls.
I hate the sounds.
I hate all of it.
Especially today.
Kade shifted against my chest sleepily and made a tiny sound.
"Mmm..."
His warm little body pressed closer to me while his tiny fingers curled around my shirt.
Usually I would've kissed his cheeks.
Usually I would've laughed and called him my little koala.
But my mind couldn't focus on anything.
Only—
Keifer.
My feet felt heavy while walking.
Too heavy.
One of Keifer's men led me quietly through the hall.
Nobody was saying anything.
Nobody.
And I hated that.
Because silence scares me more.
My heartbeat felt so loud.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Then I saw familiar faces.
My steps stopped.
Percy.
He was standing there.
And beside him were some of Keifer's trusted men.
Wait—
Percy?
My eyebrows frowned immediately.
Percy looked like he had run out of the house without even thinking. His hair was messy, shirt slightly wrinkled, face pale.
He looked at me.
Then at Kade.
Then his eyes immediately softened.
"...Jay."
...
No.
No no no.
Don't say my name like that too.
I stared at him.
"...Why are you here?"
Percy's jaw tightened for a moment.
Then quietly—
"Before losing consciousness..." he paused, "...Keifer called his men."
My breathing slowed.
"He told them if anything happened, they should call me."
...
"He told me to take care of you and Kade."
My eyes widened.
That idiot.
That stupid idiot.
Why was he thinking about us?!
WHY WAS HE THINKING ABOUT US?!
Tears immediately burned my eyes again.
Percy looked away and rubbed his face.
"He wouldn't shut up," he muttered quietly.
I stared at him.
Percy looked back at me.
"He kept saying—"
"Take care of Jay."
"Don't let her panic."
"Kade still has a fever."
"Make sure Jay eats."
"Don't let her cry too much."
...
My lips started trembling.
No.
No.
No.
That idiot.
That stupid, stupid idiot.
Even then...
Even then he was still thinking about us.
Percy suddenly walked closer and carefully touched Kade's head.
Kade blinked sleepily.
"Mama..."
Then looked around in confusion.
Percy's eyes softened.
"He'll be okay," he said quietly.
I looked at him immediately.
Not because I believed him.
But because I needed to.
Then Percy slowly looked toward a room at the end of the hallway.
"...He's inside."
...
My body froze.
Suddenly...
I didn't want to move.
Because once I walked there—
I would see him.
I would see what happened to him.
And I was terrified.
Jay POV
Terrified.
Actually terrified.
I hated this feeling.
I hated that my feet suddenly didn't want to move.
Because my brain kept making stupid thoughts.
Really stupid thoughts.
What if he doesn't wake up?
No.
Shut up.
What if—
SHUT UP.
I stared at the room at the end of the hallway.
White door.
Just a normal door.
So why does it feel like the scariest thing in the world right now?
Kade moved in my arms and pressed his face into my neck sleepily.
His tiny hand accidentally smacked my cheek.
...
Normally I would've looked offended.
"Wow. Violence. Betrayed by my own son."
Not now.
Not now.
Percy looked at me quietly.
Then sighed.
"Jay."
I didn't answer.
"Jay."
"...What."
"Move."
I looked at him with watery eyes.
"...I can't."
The words came out before I could stop them.
I looked down immediately.
Because suddenly I felt stupid.
Very stupid.
"I..." My voice shook. "I don't want to see him hurt."
Silence.
Percy stared at me for a few seconds.
Then for once—
For once in his dramatic life—
He wasn't joking.
He wasn't acting crazy.
Nothing.
He just looked at me quietly.
Then said softly—
"You think Keifer would stay away if you were inside instead?"
...
Oh.
Oh.
That stupid line hit me directly in the heart.
Because no.
No he wouldn't.
Keifer would probably break hospital rules.
Break walls.
Break doctors.
Break reality itself.
If I was inside, he'd be sitting beside me annoying everyone.
"Move. That's my wife."
"Why is this machine making sounds?"
"Jay blinked. Did you all see that? She blinked."
...
My chest hurt.
I hate remembering things right now.
I looked down at Kade.
Then kissed his forehead.
"Your Papa is stupid," I whispered.
Kade blinked at me.
Then suddenly grabbed my nose.
...
Wow.
Amazing timing.
Absolutely beautiful timing.
I stared at him.
He stared back.
Then smiled sleepily.
You tiny potato.
I almost cried and laughed at the same time.
Life is weird.
Very weird.
I took a shaky breath.
Then another.
Then looked at the room again.
Okay.
Okay Jay.
Move your feet.
One.
Two.
Three.
I slowly walked.
My heartbeat got faster with every step.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Then finally—
I stood in front of the door.
My hand slowly touched the handle.
Cold.
Why is it cold?
Why am I noticing the handle temperature right now?!
My brain works at the dumbest moments.
I closed my eyes tightly.
Then slowly pushed the door open.
And immediately—
My eyes found him.
Keifer.
Lying on the bed.
Eyes closed.
Bandage around his forehead.
An arm wrapped up.
Sleeping.
Still.
...
No.
I hated it.
I hated seeing him like this.
Because Keifer was supposed to be loud.
Supposed to smirk.
Supposed to tease me.
Supposed to annoy me.
Not...
this.
My eyes immediately burned.
I walked closer slowly.
Then sat beside him.
Kade looked down at him quietly.
Then stretched his tiny hand.
Tiny fingers touching Keifer's hand.
And very softly—
Kade babbled,
"Pa..."
...
My whole heart shattered.
---
Jay POV
Everything became quiet.
Too quiet.
I stared at Kade.
Then at Keifer.
Then back at Kade.
His tiny fingers were still resting against Keifer's hand.
He didn't understand anything.
Didn't understand hospitals.
Didn't understand accidents.
Didn't understand fear.
He just knew—
Papa was there.
Sleeping.
Kade let out another tiny sound.
"Ba...pa..."
His little hand moved again, grabbing Keifer's finger weakly.
...
My lips started trembling.
No.
No no no.
Don't cry.
Don't cry.
I quickly looked up at the ceiling.
Absolutely not.
I'm Jasper Jean Mariano.
I don't cry.
I'm strong.
I can do this.
...
...
I blinked.
A tear fell directly onto Keifer's blanket.
Traitor.
I looked at the ceiling angrily.
Wow.
Amazing.
Wonderful job, eyes.
One tear became two.
Then suddenly I couldn't stop.
I lowered my head immediately.
My shoulders started shaking.
Because I kept remembering things.
Stupid things.
Random things.
Keifer teaching me how to cook because I almost burned the kitchen.
Keifer teasing me.
Keifer laughing.
Keifer carrying me when I was too lazy to walk.
Keifer sleeping while hugging me and acting like he wasn't clingy.
"I'm not hugging you."
"Then why is your arm around me?"
"For security purposes."
Liar.
Big liar.
I looked at him.
"...Wake up."
My voice came out quietly.
Small.
Weak.
I slowly held his hand.
His hand was warm.
Thank God.
Warm.
I held it tighter.
"...Wake up."
Nothing.
No annoying smirk.
No teasing.
Nothing.
"Kade has fever."
Silence.
"You said you'll take care of him."
Nothing.
My chest hurt.
I lowered my forehead onto our joined hands.
"K-Keifer..." my voice cracked.
"I hate this."
I shut my eyes tightly.
"I hate hospitals."
"I hate seeing you like this."
Another tear fell.
Then another.
"Kade was looking for you..."
My breathing shook.
"And I..."
I stopped.
Because suddenly I realized something.
I never finished saying it today.
I talked to Mama.
Talked to Percy.
Took care of Kade.
Went to sleep.
But I never sent him a message.
Never called him.
Never said anything.
And suddenly I hated myself for it.
My fingers tightened around his hand.
"...I didn't even say goodnight."
Silence.
Kade suddenly crawled clumsily against me and leaned against my chest.
Then his tiny hand landed on Keifer's arm.
Like he wanted both of us.
Mama.
Papa.
Together.
...
And that's when I finally cried without trying to stop it anymore.
---
I don't know how long I stayed like that.
Minutes.
Maybe hours.
Time felt weird.
Everything felt weird.
The room was quiet except for the soft sound of the machines and Kade's tiny sleepy noises against my chest.
I had moved him carefully onto my lap.
His fever had gone down a little.
Thank God.
One problem less.
Because I felt like if one more thing happened tonight, I would actually lose my mind.
Kade yawned and rubbed his face against me before slowly falling asleep again.
I stared at him for a few seconds.
Then at Keifer.
Then back at Kade.
They looked similar when sleeping.
Same eyebrows.
Same little frown.
Same serious expression.
Actually—
No.
Kade looked cute.
Keifer looked like he still owed me money.
I sniffed.
...
Why am I thinking that right now?
See?
My brain is stupid.
I slowly reached out and brushed some hair away from Keifer's forehead carefully.
I was scared to touch him too much.
Scared of hurting him.
And I hated that.
Because usually I would pull his cheeks, annoy him, poke him—
Actually—
I stared at him suspiciously.
Wait.
Why is he peacefully sleeping?
EXCUSE ME?
I was outside crying and dying emotionally while this man was sleeping comfortably?!
Unfair.
Very unfair.
I narrowed my eyes.
Then quietly muttered,
"...You idiot."
Silence.
"...You absolute idiot."
My fingers were still holding his hand.
"...You scared me."
My voice became smaller.
"I hate you."
Pause.
"...Not really."
Long pause.
"...Maybe a little."
Liar.
Big liar.
I looked down.
"...You said you'll come home early."
My throat tightened again.
"You said we'd eat together."
Nothing.
No answer.
I bit my lip.
"...You still have to teach Kade how to ride a bike."
I blinked.
Wait.
Bike?
Jay.
HE'S TEN MONTHS OLD.
WHY ARE YOU SKIPPING YEARS?!
I pressed my lips together.
"...Okay maybe not now."
I wiped my eyes angrily.
"Stupid Jay."
Then suddenly—
Something moved.
...
I froze.
Completely froze.
No.
No no no.
My eyes slowly moved downward.
Keifer's fingers.
His fingers had moved.
Very slightly.
...
I stared.
Maybe I imagined it.
Yeah.
I definitely imagined—
Then his fingers weakly squeezed mine.
Very.
Very lightly.
...
My eyes widened.
My heart stopped.
"K-Keifer...?"
Silence.
Then slowly—
Very slowly—
His eyebrows frowned.
__
This is for today's chapter.
I hope you like it.
Target
60+comments and 20+ votes.