Chapter 65 The Confession
The metallic groan of the Dwemer lift echoed as it rose, gears grinding and pistons hissing in a steady, merciless rhythm. The sound should have filled the space should have drowned out everything else.
But it didn't.
Alex's confession crushed the air instead, turning the narrow lift into something suffocatingly still.
Astrid didn't speak.
Her fingers tightened slowly around the strap of her shield, knuckles paling as if her body reacted before her mind could. Her eyes widened just a fraction not enough to look dramatic, but enough to betray the shock that had struck her square in the chest. She inhaled… then forgot to exhale.
The silence stretched.
Alex swallowed. His jaw tightened, and for a heartbeat he looked anywhere but at her at the bronze walls, at the faintly glowing runes, at the rising numbers etched into the lift's frame.
Then, quietly, he continued.
"More precisely…" His voice dipped, rougher than before. "I died in my previous world. And somehow… I woke up again in this body."
Astrid turned her head toward him, slowly, as if afraid that moving too fast would shatter something fragile. She listened but not like before. This wasn't like hearing about ancient Dwemer tragedies or the distant shaping of Mundus.
Those stories belonged to history.
This one was standing right beside her.
Alex exhaled through his nose, a long breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.
"At first, I was terrified," he said, voice steady but heavy with something buried deep. "Waking up in a body that wasn't mine… or so I thought."
He lifted one hand, turning it slightly as if remembering the first time he'd seen it.
"But when I looked into a mirror…" His lips twitched faintly. "I saw myself. Almost exactly. Brown eyes. Black hair. Same height. Same face staring back at me."
His hand clenched slowly.
"The only difference," he added, quieter now, "is that this body is stronger. More solid. More alive than the one I had before."
The lift continued its ascent.
Clank.
Hiss.
Whirr.
Each mechanical sound felt unbearably loud in the silence they refused to break.
Alex spoke again, softer this time, as if afraid the words might crumble if he pushed them too hard.
"My old world wasn't like this." He glanced upward, though there was nothing to see beyond metal and stone. "It wasn't beautiful. The air wasn't clean. Green forests weren't something you saw every day. And the noise… it never stopped."
He paused.
Then he turned to Astrid.
His expression changed not dramatic, not grand but warm. Gentle. Real.
His eyes softened as they met hers.
"But here…" he said quietly, "the air is clean. The world breathes. It feels alive."
A faint smile appeared on his lips.
"And there's you."
A small, almost nervous chuckle escaped him, gone as quickly as it came. He turned forward again, shoulders stiffening as if bracing himself for a blow.
The next words didn't come easily.
"…Alright," he said after a moment, voice lower, heavier. "If you have questions about me, about any of this ask them."
His hands curled slowly at his sides.
"I won't run. I won't lie," he added, each word deliberate. "I'll answer as honestly as I can."
The lift continued rising, carrying them closer to the surface.
And with every inch upward, the truth between them felt heavier than steel.
The lift continued its slow, grinding ascent toward the surface. Ancient Dwemer mechanisms groaned softly as metal chains rattled deep within the shaft. With every meter upward, the air grew colder, sharper until thin currents of snowy wind began to seep through the seams of the platform, brushing against their faces like icy fingers.
Astrid stood beside Alex, unmoving.
Her hands were clenched at her sides. Her lips parted slightly, yet no words came out. Everything Alex had said echoed relentlessly in her mind, crashing into one another like waves.
Wait So this is the truth?
but to be honest I don't really care
but I curious about alex in the past like how did he die and what world does he live in is it good or bad
Her gaze drifted downward, unfocused. The world around her faded the lift, the wind, even the sound of metal grinding upward. She was drowning in thought.
Alex noticed.
He slowed his steps slightly, his shoulders stiff with uncertainty. After a brief hesitation, he spoke, his voice gentle, careful as if afraid even his words might shatter her fragile silence.
"Hey…"
Astrid flinched almost imperceptibly.
"Take it slow," Alex continued softly, turning his head just enough to look at her without forcing eye contact. "We still have a long way to go. You don't need to decide anything right now."
The lift shuddered as it reached the surface, snow-laden wind rushing in fully now. White light spilled over them.
"We'll keep moving," he added quietly. "Think about it as we go. Process it at your own pace."
Astrid gave a small, almost invisible nod.
They stepped off the platform and began their descent down the snow-covered mountain path. The ground crunched beneath their boots. The wind howled softly, carrying the scent of frost and pine. For a while, only their footsteps accompanied them.
Then Astrid broke the silence.
"Alex…"
Her voice was hesitant fragile.
"…how did you die?"
Alex blinked, then let out a small, awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Well…" he said, forcing a light tone that didn't quite reach his eyes, "I got really angry over some news. Lost my temper. And… I ended up dying from electrocution."
Astrid stopped walking.
She turned toward him slowly, snowflakes catching in her eyelashes.
"So…" she said carefully, trying to understand, "you were killed by lightning magic?"
Alex shook his head, a faint smile tugging at his lips.
"No. In my previous world, there was no magic at all. No dragons. No mystical creatures. No astral forces. Nothing like that."
Astrid raised an eyebrow, her expression filled with disbelief.
"Then… your world must have been peaceful."
Alex didn't answer right away.
He scratched the back of his head and stared out toward the endless white horizon. The wind tugged at his cloak. His eyes darkened, distant and heavy.
"Peaceful, huh…"
He exhaled slowly. His breath turned into pale mist, dispersing into the cold air like fading memories.
"Not really," he said at last. "Just like here, nations competed for power. Showing off their strength. Flexing it."
Astrid frowned slightly, struggling to reconcile his words.
"But that sounds contradictory," she said. "If you want peace… why show power?"
Alex answered calmly, though his tone carried the weariness of someone who had thought about this far too often.
"Because if you're strong enough," he said, "others won't dare touch you. Leaders hesitate. They calculate losses and gains before starting wars."
Astrid nodded slowly, beginning to understand.
After a few more steps, she looked at him again, concern flickering in her eyes.
"But you were safe at home, right?" she asked. "I mean… you weren't threatened by dragons, monsters, or something like Alduin."
Alex gave her a faint smile one that carried no joy.
"Yeah. I was lucky enough to live in a peaceful country," he said.
Then his smile faded.
"But that doesn't mean you feel free."
Astrid stopped again, confusion clear on her face.
"What do you mean?"
Alex's voice dropped, quieter now, as if speaking too loudly might reopen wounds he'd barely managed to seal.
"In my old world… I wasn't born rich. Not into a powerful or well-off family."
He clenched his gloved hand unconsciously.
"But I loved my family," he continued. "Especially my mother. I wanted to make her happy. That was my goal."
His gaze lowered to the snow beneath his feet.
"But reality was cruel in my world there is no magic so I can't use healing like in here so in my world there is house of healing but with technology not use like magic to treat my mother but the problem is to expensive and there is Taxes and Debts to to cover up the bill to treat my mother. Every day was just… surviving until tomorrow."
He swallowed.
"And if you slipped," he said bitterly, "if you fell out of that system even once you ended up with nothing. Homeless. A beggar."
His steps slowed. His shoulders sagged.
"And when my mother died…"
His voice faltered for just a moment.
"…everything lost its color. My purpose disappeared. The world turned gray."
He closed his eyes briefly.
"I stopped dreaming. I just chased small pleasures. Lived only enough for myself. Nothing more."
Alex finally looked at Astrid again, his eyes raw and exposed.
"Pathetic, isn't it?"
Astrid shook her head immediately, stepping closer.
"No," she said firmly. "That's not true."
Her voice carried warmth, conviction.
"You tried," she said. "You loved her. Even if she didn't get to experience the happiness you wanted to give her your heart was sincere. That matters."
Alex looked down, his fists trembling slightly.
"But it wasn't enough," he whispered.
His voice cracked not loudly, but enough to reveal the depth of pain he had carried alone for so long.
He lifted a trembling hand and wiped at his eyes, but the moisture refused to disappear. Tears gathered at the corners despite his effort to appear composed. His shoulders subtly slumped, as if the weight of every confession had finally caught up to him.
"And yeah…" His voice cracked, followed by a small, self-mocking laugh that carried more pain than humor. "That's who I am. A pathetic man who failed at the one thing he cared about most."
He inhaled shakily, forcing himself to meet Astrid's eyes afraid of what he might find there, yet unable to look away.
"So tell me…" he continued, his voice barely above a whisper, "do you still love me?"
Astrid stopped walking.
The cold wind swept past them, tugging at her hair and cloak, snow crunching softly beneath her boots as she turned to face him fully. She studied his face not with judgment, not with doubt, but with quiet intensity.
"Let me ask you something first," she said, her tone calm but unwavering.
"The Alex I met in Helgen the man who stood beside me when everything was burning was that you?"
Alex didn't hesitate. Not even for a heartbeat.
"Yes."
Her gaze sharpened slightly. "Then was your love for me a lie?"
Alex took a step closer, close enough that she could feel his warmth against the biting cold. His hands clenched at his sides, knuckles pale, as if this answer mattered more than his own life.
"Never," he said firmly. "Not for a single moment. I love you truly. And that's exactly why I told you everything. I didn't want even one shadow between us."
For a moment, Astrid simply stared at him.
Then her rigid expression softened. The tension in her shoulders eased, and the seriousness in her eyes melted into something warm something relieved.
"Then what is there to worry about?" she said softly, a genuine smile blooming on her lips as she reached out and rested a hand against his chest. "That's the Alex I fell in love with."
The words hit him harder than any blow ever could.
Relief crashed over him, followed by joy so intense it made his breath hitch. His vision blurred as his voice trembled.
"A-Astrid…"
Before he could stop himself, he pulled her into a tight embrace, arms wrapping around her as if she might disappear if he let go. His forehead pressed against her shoulder, his breath uneven.
"I was so scared," he murmured, his voice muffled, breaking completely. "I thought… I thought you'd stop loving me."
Astrid felt it then the faint shake in his body, the warmth of tears soaking into her armor. She froze for a moment in surprise, then gently placed her arms around him.
"Oh, come on, Alex," she said softly, a teasing warmth in her voice. "Don't cry like this. Your dignity will take a hit, you know."
She leaned closer, lowering her voice. "You're lucky it's only me here."
Alex immediately tried to pull back, flustered and embarrassed, hastily wiping his face.
"N-no sniff I'm not crying," he protested weakly. "It's just… snow. Snow got into my eyes."
Astrid chuckled quietly and tightened her embrace instead of letting him go, resting her chin lightly against his shoulder.
"Sure," she said with a smile. "Whatever you say."
She stayed there with him, holding him against the cold and the world, her voice gentle as she whispered,
"Alright, alright… my little man."
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