Kiyokazu Lazar — POV
I opened my eyes.
The first thing I saw was a brown wall. A white blanket lay over me, and beneath my head was a soft white pillow.
Still half-asleep, I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling, which was the same brown color as the walls. I raised my right hand toward it, as if there were something up there to reach. But there wasn't. There was just air, and my hand kept grabbing at nothing several times before I stopped.
My hand felt relaxed and light. Lighter than usual. And throughout my whole body, something was still moving in slow, circular patterns. From my hands to my feet, from my head to my toes, always stopping at the same place before for a few seconds before going again. The right side of my chest, exactly where Doctor Amira had placed her hand.
I pressed my right hand over that spot and held it there, trying to figure out what the sensation was. But when I held my hand there, it stopped. The movement ceased entirely.
Then I moved the same hand to the left side of my chest.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
My heartbeat. Slow and steady. And the moment I felt it, that force resumed its quiet journey through my body, coming to rest once more at the spot on my right side.
"Interesting" I said quietly.
I turned my head to the right and swept my eyes across the rest of the room.
In a wooden chair near the round desk sat a familiar face. The same person who had called me a stray dog and pressed me into the ground like I was a nail he needed to drive through the floor.
Elias.
He was leaning slightly forward, legs apart, elbows resting on his knees with his fingers intertwined, supporting his chin. He was looking at me, saying nothing.
The reflection on his glasses hid whatever his eyes were doing, but based on his posture, he didn't look nervous. Bored? maybe. Something along those lines.
The silence stretched into the sound of his calm, steady breathing, until the slight creak of the chair announced that he was moving. He shifted out of the position and stood up.
"Let's go," he said, with a quiet confidence that left no room for discussion.
"Alright," I replied, pushing the blanket aside and reaching down to put on my boots.
He watched me in silence while I laced them up. When I stood, my feet felt soft beneath me. Light in a way I hadn't experienced before.
I hadn't taken a single step when his voice cut through the room again.
"The bed." Sharper this time. Commanding.
"Pardon?"
"Make it back to how it was before you were lying in it. Is this how you leave things at home as well?"
"Of course, sir!" I turned around immediately and made the bed. Pillow placed, blanket spread flat without a crease. Then I turned back and pulled my arms and legs into a proper stance.
"That's it," he said in his normal voice, though something underneath it carried a hint of approval.
He turned right and walked toward the door. I followed.
He opened it, and we stepped out into a narrow, somewhat dim hallway. It stretched in both directions, with wooden doors spaced every ten to twenty meters along each side. All identical in shape and size to the one we had just left.
"Where on earth did I end up?" I thought, glancing around.
"Ahem."
Elias cleared his throat, watching me from the corner of his eye. I pulled my gaze back immediately after I saw it was intentional and directed on me. And fixed it on what it had been resting on before. His back.
It wasn't as broad or massive as Darius's, but even through the uniform I could see how well-developed it was. The fabric of his clothes formed a clean V-shape at his shoulders. Up close like this, he didn't carry the same terrifying weight he had the first and second time we met. He wasn't built like Darius, who with his height and build resembled a living boulder.
Elias was different in every way. In build, in how he carried himself, in how he spoke. I'd put him somewhere around eighty-something kilograms, certainly not over eighty-five. Around a hundred and eighty centimeters tall. Perfectly balanced in proportion. His build wasn't made for intimidation or display. It was functional. Precise. The kind of body built for speed and control rather than raw force. Without the uniform, he could pass for any ordinary citizen of Nivalis. But with it, everything was visible. Not an ounce of excess anywhere, every muscle taut and ready to go at any given second.
Though no matter how much I wanted to study his body, I was afraid to hold my gaze on his back for too long. Instead, I glanced at him for a second or two at a time and then looked either at the floor or at his boots as he walked.
We passed through the hallway and entered a larger room, nearly three times the size of the one I had slept in. On the left side, built directly into the stone wall, was a small booth with a barred window.
Elias raised his left hand slightly as we passed it.
Inside the booth sat a soldier in the same uniform as Elias. The only difference was in the details: his shoulder plates were black and the crystal in his insignia was yellow, while Elias's plates were white with a red crystal.
He raised his hand toward us in return. And instinctively, following Elias's lead, I raised mine in the man's direction as well.
The soldier in the booth gave me a brief, slightly puzzled look. Not quite surprise, not quite ease. Somewhere in between. Then broke into a quiet laughter.
"Kmh." Elias let out a small chuckle in front of me, then kept walking as though nothing had happened.
"What's so funny? I was just doing what he did."
I glanced back at the soldier as we neared the exit. He had a wide smile across his face. With his already raised hand, he waved at me.
I did the same, then walked outside with Elias.
The cold hit immediately, wrapping around my skin like it had been waiting. It was harsh, but not as vicious as it had been during training today. My body had warmed up well in that small room, so it wasn't unbearable, though the cold found every gap it could and pressed through without hesitation.
Everything around us was the same as before. Snow-laden conifers, distant mountains, the building standing alone in the middle of what felt like absolute nothingness. And, as Sarah would say: snow, snow, and maybe even more snow. Nothing else worth noting. You couldn't hear animals, let alone see one. The only living being within reach was Elias, who had been walking without making a sound since we left that room. Not a word from him since.
Walking this snowy path, which looked similar like the trail we had been running on, was boring and cold and slow. The scenery didn't change. It was depressing. But it was also very quiet and peaceful, and that part suited me. In addition, I had Elias by my side, so at no point did I feel fear, let alone think of it.
But no matter how much we walked, Elias stayed silent, and I was left to think.
I wanted to let my mind drift toward Sarah and others, toward what had happened, toward the village. But I stopped myself halfway through the thought. My defense mechanism had broken me twice already today, and I could already hear Doctor Amira's voice in my head, saying something like: "I told you not to force it." If it activated again and broke me down.
"Ehhh," I exhaled, and steam rose from my mouth into the cold air, vanishing in seconds.
Who knows, maybe I wouldn't get another chance like this. Maybe the next time I passed out or made a mistake they really would cut me. Though had I actually made mistakes today? Yes. Several. During the sit-ups first, then the moment before the obstacle course.
"I really messed up a lot today." I said to myself as I brought my look up.
I had no idea where Elias was taking me. This building we had just left was just another unknown place in Nivalis, complete with a doctor, a soldier in a booth, and a brown room I'd apparently slept in. I didn't want to ask him anything either. He probably wouldn't answer, or he'd look at me over those glasses in that particular way, or he'd pin me to the ground again. So I just followed him and said nothing, he didn't scold me for it. Which had to mean everything was good, right?
Then the path began to look familiar. And then I saw it.
The dark, massive silhouette of the building where all of this had started.
My stomach tightened the moment I laid my eyes on it.
"So he's taking me back there."
As we got closer, I could really appreciate its size for the first time.
"How is it possible for a building this large to have so few rooms inside, yet be this big?" I thought as we came closer towards it.
We reached the front entrance, which looked more like a gate than a door. Elias opened it with ease, I walked through, and he closed it behind us. The white hallway again.
He moved past me and I followed. He reached the door of the room where the interviews had been held and stopped. He raised one finger.
"You go to the room with the other candidates and wait for further orders."
Then he entered the room and shut the door directly in my face.
"A difficult man," I thought, looking at the closed door for a few seconds. Then I turned and headed toward the room where I had firstly woken up.
The closer I got, the louder the voices behind those enormous doors became.
"What's going on in there?"
I grabbed the metal chain and pulled one wing of the door open. The heavy creak of it against the floor cut through the room and silenced everything inside. I stepped through, turned back, and pulled the door shut behind me.
The room hit me all at once. Sweat and warmth and the particular atmosphere of people who had pushed themselves hard and were now just trying to exist. Some sat on their beds and cleaned their boots. Others were wrapped tight in their blankets, trying to get warm. A few were pacing slowly.
And every gaze in the room was on me.
Viktor, Luiz, Tavon, Link, and many others. The faces varied but the look in their eyes didn't. They were full of pure curiosity. Suspicion. Confusion. That quiet, cold assessment that said: "So you didn't get cut after all."
Hardly anyone looked pleased to see me. Even Luiz and Kieran, with whom I had spent the whole day, watched me with strange expressions on their faces. Confusion was written across both of their faces.
It was deeply uncomfortable. Having that many people staring at me all at once. I felt like someone who had stepped out to give a public speech in front of thousands who were all waiting to find out what came next.
"I wonder if you feel like this too, Luiz."
I moved toward my bed. My boots echoed over the silence. I kept my face neutral and my stride even, though my stomach was doing something else entirely inside.
To my right, Kaien stood next to his bed, gripping the upper bunk rail with one hand, watching me without a word. His left hand closed slowly into a fist against the metal. His teeth pressed together, and the expression in his brown eyes was pointed directly at me.
To my left, Kieran, standing beside Luiz, scanned me from head to toe as if checking that I still had all my limbs. Luiz stood next to him with his eyebrows raised, clear suspicion found in those red eyes of his.
Nobody spoke. Nobody asked where I had been or what happened after that training. They just watched. The unspoken rule of this room seemed to be that anyone who left under Darius's or Elias's words didn't come back. The simple fact that I had walked through those doors again was putting me under a magnifying glass.
Every step felt heavier than the last one, like I was walking barefoot over rose thorns. I didn't meet anyone's eyes. I went straight to the only place I could go.
My bed. It stood exactly where I had left it, near the right edge of the room. Cold, untouched, and empty.
I sat down in the middle of it, placed my elbows on my knees, and leaned slightly forward. The creak of the frame under my weight carried through the room.
Only then, slowly, did the conversations around the room begin to come back, lower than before. I could feel their eyes on my back. They knew I had collapsed. They knew something had happened. Now they were waiting to see if something is going to happen again.
I sat and breathed. In slow and steady rhythm, staring at the white floor beneath and listening to the quiet murmuring spreading through the room. I couldn't let my thoughts wander too far. I knew what happened when they did.
Step. Step.
I heard footsteps behind me, measured and unhurried. Two shadows appeared in front of me as the sounds got stronger.
I looked up. Kieran and Luiz were standing there.
Without a word, Luiz leaned against the metal railing to my left, crossed his arms, and exhaled quietly. The coldness that had been in his eyes before was gone, though a clear suspicion still remained.
"So... I assume you weren't cut out?" he said, quietly enough that only the three of us could hear.
"We thought you were done," Kieran added from the right.
"You still with us, little-chain?"
A new voice came uninvited, coming from above.
I looked up. Hanging upside down from the top bunk was Tavon's head, his messy spiky hair falling downward, that wide relaxed smile of his completely unbothered by the position he was in. He looked like a bat that had decided to observe the world from its preferred angle.
"Kaien has already started spreading the news that the biggest weakling has left us."
I glanced in Kaien's direction as he finished speaking. Our eyes met for a second. It was clear he had overheard it.
"Is that so?" I said.
"Yeah. He even started telling people this bed was going to be his and that nobody else was allowed near it."
"Can you keep it down a little?" Kieran asked him. "Not everyone needs to know what we're talking about here."
"Got a problem?" Luiz said sharply out of nowhere, stepping away from the railing. His gaze moved to Kaien directly.
Kaien's brown eyes were full of something unpleasant as they met with Luiz's. The tension between them built steadily.
"Hah, and why would I?" Kaien answered, letting the hatred in his expression give way to a defiant smile. "I'm going to kill you sooner or later anyway. Along with that dog over there." His eyes shifted to me as he said it.
"I'd love to see that," Luiz replied, a cold smile of his own appearing. "In a hurry to get humiliated again like last time?"
"I am a Senzaki. Remember that. I don't make empty promises. And I'm giving you my word right now that you will crawl at my feet and beg for mercy."
"Hahaha!" Luiz laughed openly, no trace of concern anywhere on his face. If anything his eyes lit up with something sharper, the red in them deepening. Kaien held the look for a brief moment, then turned and walked toward the door of the room without another word.
The silence that followed was brief. Only to be cut by a sharp whistle coming from above.
Tavon was still hanging upside down, now with two fingers in his mouth, his grin wider than before.
"Ooh, what a drama! What tension! I'm getting goosebumps," Tavon said dramatically, pretending to rub his arm from the chills. "But if you're planning to kill each other, could you do it after dinner? I'm starving to death, and it would be a shame to miss a show like that because of an empty stomach."
Kieran stared at him.
Then Luiz did the same.
The smile dropped from Tavon's face the moment Luiz's eyes landed on him, replaced with a serious expression of his.
"You are still here?" Kieran said.
"Yeah?"
"Isn't your bed over there?"
"Ooh," Tavon said, his smile came back. "I didn't mention it, did I?"
We all looked at him.
"This is my bed now. I'm sleeping and spending my time here from now on."
"Pardon?"
He looked at me.
"I hope you don't mind it, roommate! (˶˃ ᴗ ˂˶)"
"…"
I looked at him. That ridiculous smile on his face. It didn't look particularly trustworthy. It looked forced and a bit silly. But underneath it, somewhere, I could feel something genuine.
"(ᵕ— ᴗ —)"
"I won't cause any unnecessary trouble, I promise!"
After a brief staring contest between us, "Ehhh," I exhaled. "I don't mind, if that's what you want."
"Yippee!"
"You're really just going to let him?" Luiz asked, his tone flat and mildly disbelieving.
Before I could answer, Tavon dropped from the top bunk with a light "Hup!" and landed cleanly between Luiz and me.
"Time for introductions, boys!" he announced, grabbing my right hand with both of his and shaking it once. "Roommate. I am Tavon Nenets, the King of Charms, and I absolutely love women."
Kieran burst out laughing from the side. Luiz chuckled softly through his nose, his eyes closed.
I just scratched the back of my neck with my left hand, lifting my eyebrows in process. Having no idea what to say to that.
"Just let them laugh," Tavon whispered, leaning in slightly. "They don't know what's good."
"Well... nice to meet you," I replied, after a pause that probably went on a little too long. "I am Lazar Kiyokazu."
"Nice to meet you too, Lazar. Now, since we're on the subject, answer me one very serious question."
"Huh?"
His face shifted into something entirely too earnest for the question that followed.
"Do you like women too?"
I glanced at Luiz to my left. He simply raised his shoulders. The message was perfectly clear without a single word: "you walked into this yourself, not my problem."
Kieran was still chuckling softly.
"Do I like women?" The question sat in my head for a moment. "I never really thought about it. I was never particularly drawn to anyone, no matter the gender, male or female."
And then, without being invited, the face of a girl appeared in my mind. Sarah.
Right after that, another image. The forest, her falling onto me. And then one more, the last one: her turquoise eyes fixed directly on mine.
"You could say that I do," I answered, looking away from all of them.
All three were staring at me.
"Dear goddess, this is awkward."
"I knew you were a man of culture from the moment I saw you!" Tavon said with genuine happiness, his smile stretching from one side of his face to the other.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I can already tell that we are going to get along extremely well!" He let go of my hand and turned to Kieran, moving on to introduce himself, and after him, to Luiz.
And that was how I got my very first roommate.
Tavon Nenets. The self-proclaimed King of Charms.