I often wonder why my hard work doesn't pay off, despite all these years of learning and failing to ultimately achieve anything in the end. I always hear the encouragement "You can do it!" or "Hard work pays off in the end!"
But has that ever happened? Likely to many, but only to a few, it never does pay off. The only thing that has ever kept me going was writing stories. It was half-baked or a total mess. Was it something that the reader really wanted to read?
Stories are meant to be enjoyed no matter what genre it was! However, bias exists, creating tension in the community over what can and cannot be read, which leads to a lot of troublesome chaos. And on occasion, a trend is underway that sparks debate over "Which story is the better one?"
Can't a reader enjoy both stories without comparison? As an adage once says, "Comparison is the thief of joy." But that really never applies these days in the 21st century. Well, in my case, I could say that I am indeed still a terrible writer who struggled and will likely soon give up on being an author. I always dreamed about becoming a great author as a kid. Usually, from childhood until adulthood, it has always been my dream!
But nowadays, in the age of writing, competition has arisen, and novels and manga have gained attraction in the past few year which often also lead to much more criticism about what a story should be like to cater to. Is it wrong for a writer to create something that he wants to make, even if it's completely terrible? But these are just all silly thoughts; look at where I am now.
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"Thank you for coming, sir."
I stared at the door closing as the final customer left for the night. I turned my head and looking at the ticking digital clock.
<1:00AM>
I gave out a sigh of exhaustion. Working for long hours just to pay rent and repeat the same cycle over and over again is just tortuous hell!
Nonetheless, the only time I am free was after work. I have gotten used to cleaning up and dealing with unreasonable customer in this city. The lower part of the city was mostly just filled with an uninhabitable houses or restaurant due to crime and no regulation laws. But luckily for me, at least the place I work at doesn't have crime that much often, only at the deepest part of the city.
Closing the shop, I look at the sign.
'Go Lucky Cafe!'
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It has been 2 years since I work here full time. But it still couldn't pay much of my food and rent. But at least some co-worker are helpful to me. Well only 1, the rest are just selfish power-hungry who badmouth each others and remined the same. And I am not the exception of being bad mouth. But luckily, I learn to get used to it thanks to that same co-worker who was nice to me. But enough about my boring generic lifestyle.
The one thing I am truly passionate about the most, with all my heart, is writing novels. But yet I struggled with it. Low reader counts and in fact, it's hard to make your novel unique in a sense that will captivate the readers. People wants something new, and most writer can't produce that much uniqueness, including me who tried new idea and gain inspiration.
I managed to publish some novels which are pretty common genre that is overused such as isekai or fantasy. But nonetheless, it didn't gain any traction but rather unnecessary hating and backlash from readers who insult my works.
CritiqueMaster55: "LMAO! This is such a shit novel! I know I can write better than this!"
UnrealSuper: "Eh? I expected something better, but this is just generic slop! Good luck with this pile of trash loser!"
KoolCricket: "I had hope for this novel, but as expected from this author, it was horribly written. Writing for 6 years and stll writing terribly and plagarizing other works? Absolutely the worst!
----> JokingStock replying to user [KoolCricket]: Absolutely agree with you! All this author is ever known for is the "Worst writer" in the history of novels and that's a fact! It quite ironic how his bio is "Working on Original Novel!" Like don't make me laugh at this sheer ridiculousness!"
Kickbacker69:" Dude, what would make your novel better is fanservice writing (If you know what I mean). I absolutely would read it if it has those!"
----> PureCrystal replying to user [Kickbacker69]: "Just get the hell out of this platform you horny bastard"
[----]
"Damn it...what is even wrong with my writing?"
"Just how long can I keep doing this?"
I hated it, hated it down to the very bone of my body, but what could I do? They were right as my writing was absolutely horrendous even if I didn't mean to plagarize other work, all I needed was inspiration, but it didn't work and make mine unique!
I just wanted to write what I love and what I think would make it more original, but everytime I publish some of those, it just flops. Hell even ideas that were draft,. I keep looking and seeing how similiar it is to other webnovel that I immediately just scrap the idea!
And worse, I'd just be putting fuel into a fire that was unnecessary to began with in these comment section. No helpful tips on what I can improve, and over these 6 years of writing, I have only been make fun as a fool even in digital as one of the worst writer. Eventually, I swallowed my pride and I backed down.
I had many ideas that I thought could work, but the more I looked at it, it always has been the same as others authors. It was a dream of mine to be recognize as a writer, as an author, and as someone who could create something original and meaningful to captivate readers. But unfortunately, it was a stupid dream that can never exist with my circumstances and my skills.
However, tonight was the night that change. And I would had never expected it, as I always believe it to be fictional. But yet, it somehow happened.