Author note:
This chapter is long and only the prologue. If you want to skip the chapter, just do it. The whole chapter is basically: MC dies while saving two kids. Reincarnation and transmigration happen in the next chapter. You really won't miss anything important.
This chapter is more for me, to get into the right headspace of the main character.
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It was a regular day like any other. I worked late and took the bus home when it was already dark, the kind of day that left me tired but not fulfilled.
Today, while walking the ten-minute walk home to my apartment, I thought about the usual distracting stuff, like which world I would live in if I could choose, something brighter, something where effort meant more than routine.
Escaping reality more than others, that is me.
While walking, I suddenly saw two small kids holding hands, barely dressed in anything, thin and sickly, standing too still for children their age.
The older sister was blowing hot air from her mouth onto the hands of her younger brother over and over, like repetition alone could keep him warm.
'It's almost winter. Are they homeless? Are they waiting for their parents? I should help them.'
While slowing my steps and getting nearer, my determination to help grew, but so did an uncomfortable pressure in my chest.
'Give them my jacket? No, that's too much. Should I give them money or buy food? I really want to invite them home. They do it in anime… but that's too creepy and weird. I'm big, fat, wear glasses, have a beard, and look more like a pedophile than a good guy.'
I stopped.
"H-hey kids! Are you waiting for your parents?"
"..."
The older sister and younger brother looked blankly at my awkward grin, their eyebrows slightly raised, not scared but wary.
'Shit. I sound like a pedo.'
"A-are you hungry? I can go buy some food for you and jackets, hats, and blankets."
The older girl's eyes sharpened as she stared at me. Her reaction shocked me, not fear, but calculation.
'If this was anime, I…'
ZIIIIIP
I unzipped my big, thick jacket and held it out in front of her, keeping my distance and gesturing for her to take it. She didn't reach for it until I pressed on her weakness.
"Come on. Take it. Your younger brother is shivering."
'I feel disgusting. If this was an anime, I could really help, solve all their problems. But this pity is nothing more than a gulp of air when drowning.'
I walked a few steps away and called the police. I chuckled weakly when I saw both children fit easily into my thick jacket, swallowed by it.
'I guess being fat is useful at least once in life, huh?'
Click
"Police department ****, my name is Sabrina Kilutz. What can I do for you?"
"Hello. Yes, there are two children barely dressed outside in the cold. A girl around ten years old or so, and I think her younger brother is around six or seven.
For now, I have given them my jacket… Yes, yes, the street is *****… Thank you. Yes, I will wait with them. Good day."
I walked back to the kids when I noticed a fast car driving by. It slowed down, did a U-turn, and stopped in front of them, and a bad feeling crept up my spine.
Two men older than my twenty-four-year-old self got out of the car. One was thinner and shorter than me, the other about my height and build.
"Hello! Do you know these kids?" I asked as I politely stepped closer, but something screamed inside my head.
'Kidnappers!'
I shielded the children behind me with my arm and body, but the thin man rushed toward me far too fast.
Unconsciously, I understood what was happening, and logically I knew what to do, but my body froze. My reaction speed and survival instincts vanished completely.
Whack!
Pain exploded across my cheek and jaw. I bit my tongue and fell like a sack of potatoes, my glasses flying off the sidewalk into the street.
The sun was already down and it was dark. The air was cold, but the ground was colder, yet my body felt strangely hot.
My tongue burned and my jaw throbbed sharply as my vision spun while staring at the car a few feet away.
'I want to stay like this and sleep here. The cold ground feels cozier than my bed for some reason.'
"NOOOoooo!"
I snapped back to reality, forcing myself up with my heavy body and straining my eyes to see without my glasses.
I saw the two kids struggling and flailing as the men tried to shove them into the backseat of their car.
The burly man held the girl, and the thin man tried to lift the boy off the ground.
I took a deep breath, clenched my fists, closed the short distance, and threw a hook at the thin man who had punched me earlier.
Whack!
"Argh! Fuck—my no—argh!"
I aimed at his temple, but hit his nose. I barely felt the pain shooting through my hand, and I thought I might have broken a finger, but it worked. He released the boy and screamed while clutching his nose.
The other man turned toward me, but I grabbed the one I had already punched by the shirt and threw him over the hood of the car.
My conscious brain stopped working entirely. Unconsciously, I knew two things: the average person doesn't know how to fight, and one of them was thin while the other was a fatass just like me, but smaller and they both were almost double the age of me.
Adrenaline made my hands tremble, but my heart felt strangely confident. I couldn't see their expressions without my glasses, and that scared me more than I wanted to admit.
Using real violence felt wrong. Having lived a sheltered life, fighting for the first time felt deeply wrong, almost like crossing a line I couldn't uncross.
I felt like I should apologize until I heard the boy beside me scream, "Lisaaaa!"
I looked at the boy and then at the man holding the girl, but I couldn't see his face clearly in the dark. My body began to move but stopped abruptly.
"What do you think you're doing, fatass!" the fat man yelled angrily, and even without glasses I noticed his gaze shift behind me.
Instinctively, I turned around and accidentally smashed my elbow into something solid. I turned back, terrified I had hit the boy, but saw the thin man on the ground clutching his eye and screaming in pain.
Maybe it was sheer coincidence or beginner's luck, but when the thin man tried to grab me from behind, as if to suplex me or make me fall, I hit him perfectly in the eye.
"AAAAARGH! It hurts! You fat bastard!" the thin man screamed.
"SHUT UP!" the burly man yelled. "Somebody will see us—"
Bark! Bark! Bark!
An old woman in a red jacket with her dog stood nearby. Even without my glasses, I recognized her small stature and the bright red jacket in the dark. It was my unfriendly neighboor who never greeted me back.
"Call the police!" I screamed like a madman.
The girl bit the burly man's hand and broke free from his hold. A wave of relief washed over me as I saw the siblings grab each other's hands and run past me.
I smiled without realizing it—until—
TWICK! CRUNCH!
I heard a sickening sound and suddenly felt a sharp sting and pressure on the side of my stomach. I looked down and touched below the blade, staring at my hand painted red.
"Hahaha… not much of a hero now, you dumbass."
I didn't look up. I barely felt the pain, maybe because of the adrenaline or my extra weight. I just threw a punch at the man's face and accidentally hit his other eye. He yelled out in pain and let go of the knife.
Two voices appeared inside me "Pull the knife out" / "Don't pull it out, you will bleed to death" — I pulled the knife out. My instincts won over my rational thought.
Thwack!
I pulled the knife out and grabbed it tightly, afraid of losing it as all the blood made my hand slippery. I couldn't see the thin man's face, but I could tell he was afraid based on his body languange.
I stood there for a good 10 seconds clenching the knife without a single thought in my mind. Every breath felt like lead, I breathed and breathed, but I couldn't feel any oxygen entering my lungs. The thin man already ran away across the street.
The burly man stepped back in confusion. "Huh? Kid, you think you're tough enough to stab me? You think you can really do that? Let's talk about it."
I heard his words dulled as if I had headphones in. He kept backing away until he tripped where the sidewalk ended and fell onto the street.
I guess he knew that even though I was heavier and just a little taller, I could still outrun him, because of my age.
I slowly walked toward him. I felt like I was in a dream, the air felt like cotton and step by step I was coming closer to end this Illusion.
I stood before the heavy man and scoffed. I couldn't see his face, but he looked pathetic laying there. Suddenly this volcano errupted inside me and I could see his black demonic soul.
With all my strength I gripped the handle and swung back.
Thwack! Crunch!
... I was stabbed again, this time in the back by the thin man. I turned my head and could see his face clearly up close. His hair partially gray, his face face wearhered. Just an old, ugly and henous man.
He was smiling.
His nose was dented and split open, blood pouring out, one eye swelling shut, turning yellow and purple and the other red and bloody—but he was smiling.
WE-OH-WE-OH!
Police sirens echoed in the distance, and relief washed over me again.
The thin man chuckled and twisted the blade inside me. "Ha! They're already coming. So this doesn't change anything. How did it feel? To be the hero for 2 ungrateful brats. Nobody will miss you! Burn in hell!"
The thin man pulled the knife out and stabbed me again, and again, and again.
I tried to push him away, punch, block, do anything, but strength drained from my body and burning electricity surged through me with each stab.
Thud!
I fell to my knees and then onto my side at the edge of the sidewalk. The rest became a haze. I saw the thin man try to run away. I heard gunshots.
I saw my jacket beside me and tried to grab it, but my body wouldn't respond, like sleep paralysis had taken me again.
'The sky looks so dull... just like my life...'
Then I felt shaking and pressure on my chest. When I turned my head, I saw the small girl bawling her eyes out.
'Wow. I never have seen anyone cry this hard for me... I don't want to die... I want to leave something.' Not because I was crazy about anime, but because I just felt like I wasted my life and did nothing worth-while at all.
I too wanted to cry like her, but I couldn't. 'What did the boy yell?'
Cough!
Blood spilled from my mouth. "Lis-… en. H-help… others."
As I saw her tear-filled eyes and officers shouting for an ambulance, I closed my eyes.
'I wish I could have said: Help others. Don't be afraid of this trauma. Forget the past and look to the future.'
'If you're not moving forward, you're moving backward. Life isn't always that serious.'
'Help others and treat people how you want to be treated.' I wanted to cram all my life's wisdom and bullshit I saw online into a mere moment, but I couldn't.
Blood filled my lungs too fast and I bled out... This was the END...
—5 Minutes later
'…'
'Why can I still think?'