The… the gas station was being robbed!
You've got to be kidding me! Why now! Why are there people here! The country's literally in lockdown! Anyone outside is likely dangerous, so I wanted to avoid them! And now this!
Goddamnit! I'm in a hurry! Every second counts! Who knows what kind of shit my brother is currently in!
I looked at how much gas remained in the car.
Enough to get to the next one.
"We're leaving."
"Wh… what?" Ken asked, astonished.
"We can make it to the next station. My brother… we can't delay."
I looked in the side mirror and over my shoulder, ready to drive away.
But then I heard Ken shift in his seat, and suddenly felt some tension in my steering wheel.
I looked back, and my eyes went wide.
"Let go."
"No, we have to help her!"
"Call the police on the way."
"They'll be too late! He might gun her down!"
"You don't know that! And what can you do except get gunned down too!?"
Ken's grip tightened on the steering wheel, but he didn't yield.
The determination in his eyes only grew.
I… his foolishness only pissed me off.
"What's with the damn heroics! Did you read too much of your comics! My brother's literally in more danger than that girl! We have to go to Philadelphia!"
I saw him grimace. My words hurt him. But still, he didn't let go.
"I… I can't stand watching this. I…, just…, please…"
I stared straight into his eyes with all the anger I could muster.
I saw him starting to tremble… but still…
He just didn't let fucking go!
I looked at the gas station again, but still didn't see the answer on why Ken was being so goddamn stubborn!
Why! Why is he like this!
Because of what had happened to him in school!? His home!?
…No, later. Act now.
Ken's trust in me is already fragile. I… if I force it and drive away.
His trust might be broken irrevocably.
In that case… I…
Shit!
I turned the engine off and pulled the keys out of my car.
"Fine. Just, describe what you see to me, everything. And if it's too dangerous, we drive away immediately," I said looking back at him.
I saw his breath halt for a moment, but afterwards he gave a determined nod.
"We have to get closer. I can't make out all the details from so far away."
"…Alright. Stay close and keep me updated constantly. Take the medkit with you."
Ken agreed, and we got out and walked carefully to the entrance.
We stayed low and at an angle that the clerk and robber couldn't see us out of the window overlooking the pumps.
On the way, I grabbed two pebbles and pocketed them. They weren't rocks, but I didn't want to use the alternative. The gun felt too heavy on my hip.
Ken described everything as we walked. Once we arrived next to the entrance, I knew the layout, the position of the people, and what they were currently doing.
Once I stepped inside, from my right it was an open view to the cash register. The other parts of the store were filled with aisles of products.
And the cashier was currently taking the money out of the register for the clown-mask wearing robber, who held her at gunpoint.
Without weapons. He was just making a sign with his fingers, pointing his index finger at the worker and his thumb in the air.
It would almost be comical if this was the old world. But Ken said there was also damage in a section of the wall behind the girl, so the robber had already demonstrated his power to her.
And from how Ken described the robbers behavior, which was almost serenely calm compared to the crying and shaking employee, combined with him having covered his entire face, I could guess that he didn't plan to leave any witnesses behind.
Once he got all the money, and this sick show he seemed to enjoy was over, the girl would be killed.
Ken was right, and I would have just…
No. No time for distractions. She was already busy taking the cash out, and would soon be done. I only had a few seconds, maybe a minute, left.
So I focused on my breathing, calmed down, and thought of a plan.
For what felt like a while, but it didn't matter, because my power had stopped time throughout. It was not a foolproof plan, but the risk was acceptable.
I could enact it. I could save her.
I turned to Ken, and handed him the car keys.
"Drive away if something happens."
I turned away from him and towards the entrance, starting to focus, but not before he got one last quip in.
"Better not. Elise and I can't drive, you've still got to teach us."
…Damnit. No, focus!
After one last deep breath, I found my absolute composure, and from a still crouched position I walked in front of the entrance.
The automatic doors started to slide open, and I slipped between them before they were fully open.
*Ding*
The robber immediately turned around at the sound, his hand still making the gun sign as it followed him and pointed at the entrance.
But there was no one there.
I had already rushed past towards the other side of the store, where the aisles blocked his vision.
And then, before he knew what was going on, I moved towards the front.
I emerged with a pebble in each hand, and eyed the robber's side profile as he was still staring at the entrance.
His temple was in full vision.
I threw the pebble!
*Thud*
I heard a sickening sound as red splattered from his temple.
"AAAARRRGGGG!" He screamed while turning towards me, gun-hand following.
All my hair immediately stood on end.
I threw the other rock at his hand and rushed towards him!
*Crunch*
They collided. His hand was deflected as the bones in his index and other fingers broke.
His face grimaced in pain as I approached.
And then, he pulled up his other hand.
I grew ice cold.
Death stared me in the face.
I sidestepped!
*BANG*
A great force barely grazed past me as something exploded behind me.
The robber's hand moved again to readjust his aim.
But he was too late.
I was already in range.
I kicked his hand away.
*BANG*
And continued to kick in his chin!
*BANG*
His head snapped back as another gunshot went off.
He lost all his strength and fell backwards, the clown mask broken in half.
His head bounced on the ground.
I moved towards him and inspected.
He was unconscious, clown mask still broken on his face. His empty eyes stared at the ceiling.
Red was flowing from his temple over the floor. The pebble was embedded in his skull.
I… I didn't understand. This wasn't supposed to happen!
Why didn't the pebble knock him out! Why did my power fail me!
Damnit damnit damnit!
*Ding*
I turned towards the front entrance, as Ken entered.
No, not now. Think about it later!
His power was too dangerous.
If he regained consciousness, he could start shooting immediately again.
I had to deal with it.
I turned towards the unconscious robber, lifted my leg and stomped down.
A sickening crunch echoed in the room as his handbones broke under my foot.
I stomped several more times until I was sure, then moved to the other hand.
*Crunch* *crunch* *crunch*
I lifted my foot, and inspected the damage.
…He wouldn't move his fingers again.
Is it safe now!? Is he neutralized!?
…I eyed his feet.
Could he?
I couldn't risk it. Better safe than sorry.
I removed his boots and gave the same treatment to his feet, until his toes were as much of a shattered mess as his fingers were.
And when I was done, finally, some amount of calm returned to me.
I looked at Ken, and I saw him staring at me with a conflicted expression.
"What?" I asked him.
He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. I saw his eyes shift to the side.
I followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at.
And my heart almost froze.
The cashier had both hands covering her mouth and had an expression of absolute fear.
She was staring straight at me.
"I… we came for gas, and saw you were getting robbed. So we tried to… I…"
My words ceased. I looked away from her and back at Ken.
I… I felt sick.
"Can you handle it here? I'll go back and fill the car."
"…Yeah, sure," he responded.
I nodded, and handed him my loaded wallet with all the cash I got from my mother's safe.
I then walked toward an aisle within sight, grabbed a bag of trail nut mix, potato chips, and mints.
And I left the store, not looking back at them again.
I walked back towards my car, opened the door, and put the food inside.
I then closed the door and walked past my car.
I… I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I bent forwards and puked.
…Once I was done, I turned around again and got in the car.
But I didn't start the engine yet, I just put my head on the steering wheel.
And I stared at the gun holstered on my hip, the thing I was so reluctant to use.
…This can't go on like this. I… I almost got killed.
Ken was right. It's kill or be killed.
I realized why my power failed. Why my rock throw didn't knock him out.
My intent was to knock him unconscious, not kill him, but it was impossible to do with a pebble.
It didn't have enough mass, and the small size just gave it more penetration power if I had increased the force.
It was like a bullet. You couldn't knock someone unconscious with a gunshot.
So my power had adjusted the force of the pebble throw to do as much damage without being lethal.
Something that had almost cost me my life.
I still felt the dead chill as I saw that robber's hand pointed at me.
And in Philadelphia, something like that might happen again. It might be, no certainly, it's even worse there.
I… I could just use the gun next time.
Next time… next time…
I need to. I… I'll do it!
!!!
I opened the car door and stuck my head out.
I puked again on the street.
…I stared at my own vomit again.
Damnit!
Why… just why…
I kept recalling that girl's scared expression, the blood flowing out of that robber's head, those sickening crunches.
And they reminded me… reminded me…
Of that goddamn sparring ring, and my father watching me… watching me…
I puked again, the last of my stomach content.
I… I didn't know anymore.
I closed the door again and stared in front of me towards the gas station.
…And my hand moved towards my hip.
Not at my gun, but inside my pocket.
I grabbed my phone and called Elise without thinking..
I put it to my ear, but it took only a few seconds for her voice to fill it.
"Jack, are you alright!?" She asked, concerned.
"…Yeah, I'm fine. And Ken is too. It…, it's just… something happened, and I wanted to hear your voice. Is… is that alright."
"Yeah, of course. I'm in the clinic now. Can you tell me what…, no, what do you want to talk about?"
"Thanks. I have to keep it brief, but…"
I told her what happened to the gas station, keeping out the gross details, but emphasising what I was struggling with.
"…and I just can't. I almost got killed, and I don't know if I should have just shot him, or if I even can. I… I was hoping you'd have some advice."
…Elise stayed quiet for a while, considering it after having listened patiently to everything I told.
And then, she responded.
"I… I don't know," she said hesitantly.
"…Okay. Don't worry about it."
"…I don't know, but…," she continued.
"I… I thought, about what happened with those guys, you wanting to torture them, the police shooting them. I… I don't know what's right and wrong anymore."
"…I know. I… I don't either anymore," I said to her softly.
"Yeah, but I feel. No, I know that… I believe that…, even if you do something horrible, you'll still be a good person."
"Elise."
"Jack, I… I want you to come back to me. So please, if it's to protect yourself, do so. And afterwards, we'll… we'll talk about it. We'll get through it together, okay?"
"…Okay."
"...Sorry…, I… I don't know what more to say."
"You've said plenty. Thank you, I feel a lot better. I'm glad I called."
"Okay. I'm glad you called too. And I'm glad you managed to save her."
"…Yeah, I…, me too. …I'll have to hang up now, but I'll keep you updated."
"Please do. And… talk to Ken about this too if you haven't already."
"I will."
"Okay… okay. …Jack, please stay safe."
"I will. I'll see you soon."
"Alright. Good… goodbye."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket.
And when I looked at the gun, to my relief, it didn't feel as heavy anymore.
***
I was driving away from the gas station after I filled up the tank and Ken got back in the car. Although, Ken wasn't sitting next to me anymore, but in the back seat with all kinds of items, like a pair of binoculars, and various materials scattered about.
…Bought with my money. The wallet felt lighter when he handed it back. He neglected to tell me how much it had cost, but it was fine. I could guess what he would use everything for, and it would be money well spent.
Besides that, he wore a complicated expression and hadn't explained anything yet. I thought it was because he was unsure on where to begin, so I started myself.
"How's the girl, and what did you do with the robber?"
Ken perked up, looked back at me with a sense of direction and answered.
"The girl's fine, and she'll leave soon. I explained the situation and she wanted to apologise to you. I got her number for that. And the robber, I tied him up and the girl called an ambulance and police. …I don't really care which gets to him first."
I looked at his dark brown eyes via the rear view mirror. But honestly…
"Alright. You did good, but… how do you feel about how this all went down?"
His expression grew complicated once more, but after a few seconds, he said something unexpected.
"I'm sorry."
"…What? Why?"
"I… I'm glad we saved her. But… I saw… you almost got shot. I… because of me…"
"Ken, it's okay. I'm glad we saved her too. And that I almost got shot, it was my mistake, because I miscalculated. It won't happen again. Next time… I'll use the gun."
His eyes went wide upon hearing me say that.
"Are… are you sure?"
"Yeah, you were right. I… sometimes it's really the safest. But I'll only use it as a last resort, if there are no other options left."
"…Okay, that's fine," he said, relieved, while looking at everything scattered besides him.
"Is that why you bought all that stuff?"
"Yeah. I don't know how to shoot a gun, but I thought with my power I could make a weapon I can use. I… I won't let you put yourself in danger for me."
"…Thanks. But…, are you sure… that you could do it."
"…I can. People, police, they kill too for a good cause. …It's like removing cancer."
"It being logical doesn't mean you'll feel the same afterwards."
"…Even so, better to have regrets at the end than being dead because I couldn't pull the trigger."
I looked at his expression, but there wasn't even a linger of doubt.
"Alright, we'll leave it at that then."
He nodded, and started to shift his attention to all the materials again.
I wanted to say something else, but it was a long drive ahead. It could wait a bit.
So I drove, and Ken started assembling something together. And after about an hour, when I noticed Ken's concentration shifting away, I decided to go for it.
"Ken, sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to ask, are things okay between us?"
His attention turned fully back to me, but I saw that he was unsure of what to say, so I helped him along.
"What we were going to talk about before, the way I acted. I… I want to explain…, about my past, how I was raised. I… apparently told Elise last night…, and I want to tell you too now, if you want to hear it."
…He stared at me for a few seconds, but then simply nodded. So… I found my courage, and while continuing the drive, I told him.
About that damn puppet show of a household. How my father was abusing everyone, including my mother. That I had enough of it and fled with her, but my father broke her heart, leading to her alcoholism. What I had done to myself to save her. And… what supposedly happened between me and Elise last night.
Ken kept listening quietly and nodding along, and by the end of it, his verdict came.
"I don't get it."
…What!?
"What do you mean? What don't you get?"
"I mean… that you can only act like your mother. I don't see it at all."
I… I blinked a couple of times.
"You… you've met her a couple of times! And… did you never see her acting or during interviews!"
"Yeah, but you… uh… don't like men, and you're only interested in Elise. You aren't even flirtatious or ever tried to be popular. So no, I don't see it."
"I… I can't choose who I fall in love with! And… I had to keep to myself. If the wrong people knew about my mother's condition, it would have turned into a scandel."
"So you're either a lousy actor, or can still choose what you want to do."
"I… it's not a choice. It… it bleeds through."
"The manipulative asshole who spread rumors about Elise and terrorized her last night?"
"…Yeah."
Ken looked straight at me from the backseat. I could only focus on the road ahead of me. I… this isn't how I thought it would go at all.
"But Elise forgave you, so you're an asshole with a good heart. So keep letting him through until we have dealt with that human scum that is your father."
My head snapped back to the rearview mirror to look into his eyes.
"I… are you sure you understand?"
"Look, I understand it's because of your father that you ended up this way. But, the way you negotiated with him, figuring out those guys that attacked us were sent by him, wanting to torture them. How you were back then… I think that's the person we need to get rid of your father. And afterwards, you can seek out a therapist to sort out that split personality of yours."
"It's not a split personality! And… you don't understand. What… what I fear is… that I'll become like my father… or worse."
We kept staring into each other's eyes. Ken was silent. No…, confused?
"But if you already know, then you can just choose to become like him when needed and then go back to playing the good guy, right?"
"…"
The thoughts halted in me. Every feeling in me was rejecting what he was saying. And yet… I… what he just said, something in my head just seemed to… click into place?
"I… I don't know… if… that cashier, she feared me."
"And after I told her you saved her life, she forgave and understood you."
"…Elise, would she… understand."
"…If it's for a good cause, I'm sure she would. And your father, that's a damned good cause in my books."
…I focused on the road again and briefly thought.
Acting like my father, worse than him… would I have avoided this mess I'm in right now?
If I just went back to that house immediately after he killed her, and murdered him in cold blood, instead of playing his game and being outmatched on his terms. Would… would that have been the best course of action instead of seeking Elise and Ken out?
I… I didn't know. I felt that every nerve in my body was against it.
But… maybe it was like my reluctance to use the gun on my hip. Maybe… maybe I don't have the luxury to risk otherwise. To… to stay as I am now.
…Could I do it to save everyone?
I… I needed time to consider it. I didn't think it would be enough, but I still had the rest of the drive to at least start contemplating it.
I turned my attention back to Ken, who had been awaiting my response silently.
"Ken, thank you for understanding. And… I'll think about what we talked about. But… I feel better about myself, I want you to know that."
"…Okay. I'll continue with making the slingshot then. …And thank you too, for telling me."
I simply nodded, and Ken turned his attention towards his project again, while I kept silently driving.
The sun was slowly descending. Soon, the world would grow darker.
Like the darkness in my thoughts was growing.
And short of a two hour drive.
I caught the first glimpse of my destination.
There was thick black smoke visible on the horizon.