"How are things with you?"
I stepped aboard the Normandy SR-2 and asked this question, addressing one of the cameras.
"Good, but could be better..."
"Are you still sulking because I didn't buy you those materials?"
"I am an AI; I cannot sulk."
In the voice of EDI—and it was specifically her I was talking to—there were notes of resentment. I don't know if she noticed how much she had changed since arriving here, but I did. She had become much more emotional. In fact, I would already call her an AI (Integrated Intelligence). And most pleasantly, she wasn't set against me. On the contrary, she considered me something like a favorite uncle. At least, that's how it seems to me.
No, I could be wrong, of course, and she might just be playing a part to cloud my mind. But I don't want to believe that. Especially since Tali works quite closely with her, and she is very suspicious of AI.
"Of course, of course. And yet, how are you? No, I already heard 'good,' but I'd like to hear a more detailed answer."
"The engines are ready and calibrated, the Mass Effect Core is also ready. The outer hull is ready. One hundred percent. The interior is at seventy-five. The quarters are sixty percent ready. The laboratory is ninety percent ready..."
EDI listed all the rooms and their level of readiness, and in some moments, it was clear the result didn't satisfy her much. But at the same time, she was willing to put up with it for the simple reason that she herself often makes edits that lead to delays or reworks.
"—and, in the end, do something about that psycho!"
She practically shouted the last words, and I couldn't suppress a smirk.
"Oh, you think it's funny! But I'm scared! ME! SCARED! I am an AI! I cannot feel fear!"
"You're talking about Joker, aren't you?"
"Is there anyone else on this ship I could refer to like that?"
"You know..."
I shook my head, and at that moment, EDI's mobile platform approached me, so I shifted my attention from the cameras to her.
"—I didn't think I'd have to explain such banal things to you, but it seems I'll have to."
"Banal?"
"Well, yes... it turns out you're just as imperfect as I am, or an Asari, or a Turian, and not something..."
"Hey! I am perfect!"
EDI pointed a finger at herself, poking it into her voluminous chest covered by a white dress resembling a Cheongsam (Qipao). A tall blonde with long hair... this was her civilian body, so to speak. The very body she would prefer to live in, whereas for combat, she would have another. And it really did look like the one she had in canon.
"Well, let's reason a bit."
"Let's."
There was displeasure in EDI's voice.
"You call Joker a psycho because of the stunts he pulls in the simulator."
"Yes. Theoretically, all those somersaults are possible, of course, but in practice..."
EDI shook her head.
"—I'll barely have enough power to calculate the operations of all systems!"
"Then don't calculate. Just warn Joker that, say, starting from the next training session, you refuse to calculate the engine operations and..."
"But I'll die!"
Panic sounded in EDI's voice.
"That's why I took the systems under control—it at least allowed me to control him a little bit."
"But that's not necessary... EDI, you're forgetting that simulations are simulations because they aren't taking real fire at you. And in reality, Joker's madness will save both us and you. Don't forget that for now, we don't have such advanced technologies that would allow you to be fully uploaded into a mobile platform like this."
"I remember..."
She sighed.
"—but it's scary. Truly, scary. I automatically calculate everything that should happen to the ship's hull during its maneuvers... it's not so obvious to you..."
"The ship should banally break in half."
I shrugged carelessly, and the android EDI was currently controlling froze, clearly showing shock.
"You know?"
"Not everything, but I reviewed your reports when you first sent them. And before that... I flew with him on the first SSV Normandy, and even if there was nothing like that there..."
I rotated my wrist.
"But I was reported that in some moments the ship was working at its limit. And they complained about him, but I didn't do anything then, and I won't do anything now. Because those stunts of his..."
"Will save our lives?"
It seemed she understood, and I couldn't help but smile at that.
"Exactly."
"So while you're training in the simulators, gradually refuse to control any functions responsible for the ship's movement. Better to free up power for the operation of other systems."
"Fine..."
"And now, give me a tour."
"You already know everything..."
I heard a slight resentment in EDI's voice.
"I only know everything in theory, and even then, certainly not all of it. So if you show me the systems that were modernized by you and now work better than they should, I'll be grateful."
"Fine... Then let's start with some of the scanning systems..."
EDI cheered up and headed toward where the system consoles were, very enthusiastically telling me exactly what she had done and why.
** Some time later. **
"Cap, I don't understand how you can even talk to her... she's... TEDIOUS!"
I was now sitting in the mess hall with Joker, who had finally interrupted his constant training sessions. He had already undergone treatment and was now significantly better than his game self, and wouldn't fall apart from a simple blow. Of course, his diagnosis wasn't simple, but I don't have the stupidest people working for me either. So they were able to help him, although it was very expensive...
"Jeff..."
I looked intently at the man.
"She is your eyes and ears."
"Huh?"
"You're a human of flesh and blood... and there's a limit to what you can see, feel, calculate, and so on. You must understand that an AI on your side, controlling the ship's sensors, is a huge help."
"John, all she knows how to do is drone on about how it's impossible, too dangerous, and so on!"
"Have you tried just talking to her?"
"Huh?"
He blinked in surprise.
"Well, like, sit in the pilot's seat and before starting the simulator, talk to her. And talk not like she's an AI who's supposed to know everything, but like she's a specialist in a different field. She knows the new SSV Normandy inside and out. Knows where the weak spot is, can calculate a maneuver... just sit down and say: 'EDI, I want to practice such-and-such. For that, we'll need to do this and that. It will help us in these kinds of situations. And I'd like you to help me. I'm going to perform a maneuver now, and you analyze it. And please calculate if the maneuver can be optimized.'"
"Um..."
Joker was at a loss.
"—you think it'll work?"
"Jeff, she's not just a girl or an AI, she's a mix of them, so you won't know unless you try."
"You're talking like you're suggesting I try to build a relationship with her."
"I'm not going to meddle in your relationship..."
I shook my head, though in my mind I held the thought that if I noticed an attraction, I'd definitely try to set them up. However, that's still a long way off. For now, I just need to get them to work together.
"Well, suppose... what if she tells me to get lost?"
"Are you serious right now?"
"No, well, what?"
"She is physically located on the ship. And unlike us, she has no chance of leaving it. Or rather, there will be a chance, but how do you think—if she needs an entire cabinet just to function normally. How much information will fit into two mobile platforms?"
"Um..."
"There's your 'um.' Just talk to her normally, and she, realizing that her life LATER will depend on your actions and her help NOW, will definitely find a way to help you."
"I'd like to believe that..."
Joker sighed heavily.
"Don't believe, try. Jeff, she is your right hand, left heel, and both eyes. And you are her shield. You must work together so that what happened to the first SSV Normandy doesn't happen to the second."
"Fine, fine! I'll try!"
Joker raised his hands, and I smirked to myself. It seems the first step will soon be taken. Let's see how far I can lead them.
** Some time later. **
"So?"
Jane looked at me with an attentive gaze.
"So what?"
"What are our further plans?"
"Further? Assemble the team."
"Consider it already done."
"Hm?"
"Well, at least for the ship. Everyone who survived the first SSV Normandy is ready to quit the service and return under your hand. But with the landing party, it won't be so simple."
I arched an eyebrow sarcastically.
"Well, what do you want?!"
"Jane, you've become spoiled."
Jane froze after these words, staring at me in shock.
"What?"
"I'm saying you've become spoiled. I understand, of course, that our landing party used to be larger, but in fact, only four individuals dropped out of it. Ashley and Kaidan Alenko, Wrex, and also Garrus Vakarian. And the latter is currently amusing himself on Omega as Archangel. You and I sent him packages ourselves so he wouldn't want for anything."
"Well..."
"Jane?"
"Sigh, I just assigned Miranda Lawson the task of selecting the crew for the landing party. And she's already done it, though the crew there is..."
Jane shook her head.
"Canon or not?"
"Well, there's no human mercenary there, but Warlord Okeer is. She also recommended Subject Zero, plus Mordin Solus, a thief, and an assassin."
"So, almost..."
I closed my eyes.
"Did you analyze the information?"
"Yeah..."
Jane tapped her finger on the table, beating out some melody unfamiliar to me.
"In short, she really did a good job and picked the best of the best. So we can conduct interviews. Only they all have their own problems, and the notes said that money doesn't interest them. They're only interested in services..."
"Fuck..."
"Yeah. Time to deal with all that..."
"Well, there will be time. But only after we deal with the Collectors. Several options are being developed now on how to do that, but..."
I sighed.
"As usual, we'll have to act as bait?"
"Not just us, but civilians too. We know, of course, who shot down the SSV Normandy back then, but we can't do anything about it since the Collectors don't initiate contact. And those they do contact are happy to work against the Council and everyone else."
"You mean those pirate crews?"
"Exactly..."
I grimaced.
"—damn Batarians sold their souls and are now supplying individuals to the Collectors in full force. And honestly, right now, I see only one option. Increase the number of strikes against the Batarians. But all this runs into the fact that they themselves will immediately run to the Council, saying, 'we're being bullied'..."
"That's true."
Jane nodded irritably.
"But what to do?"
"Nothing... we'll continue our underground war. Aria T'Loak is also pissed off by these scumbags, so she's slowly leaking their bases to me; Liara is also checking through her channels where they might be hunkered down. So gradually, we'll bleed these bastards dry."
"I hope... no, among the Batarians, there are normal individuals, of course..."
"When they're sleeping with their teeth to the wall?"
"Well, mostly yes," Jane smiled, showing she appreciated the joke. After which we continued to discuss what needed to be done and how.
EDI's civilian body
***
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