"HEY!" Skarg bellowed, slamming his hands onto the table. "Don't you dare touch the Avatar! He is mine!"
The wendigo didn't wait for permission. He launched himself over the war table, scattering maps and figurines in a chaotic spray, charging toward the Duchess like a runaway freight train.
Gremory stopped. She sighed, a long, exasperated sound, and turned her head slightly to look at the charging caribou. She didn't raise her voice. She didn't brace herself. She simply flicked a dismissive hand.
SHING.
Golden rings materialized out of thin air, spinning around Skarg's arms and legs. With a sharp metallic clang, they suddenly shrunk, binding his limbs tight against his body. Skarg's momentum betrayed him. He face-planted onto the stone floor with a sickening crunch and went skidding across the room like a furry bowling ball, coming to a halt at Gremory's feet.
"I will have words with you later, Furfur," she said, not even looking down as she stepped over him.
"Of course a bitch would wanna talk instead of fight!" Skarg bellowed into the floor.
SHING.
Another golden ring materialized and snapped shut around his snout, muzzling him instantly.
Zac swallowed hard. Wait... she's stronger than the other demons? But... don't women have, like, less muscles or something? He frowned, his rudimentary understanding of biology colliding with the reality of high-level infernal magic.
Gremory turned her dark gaze back to the table. She looked at Andras, Nock, and Halphas, her eyes cold and challenging. "Do the rest of you feel like you want to say anything?"
Nock immediately shook his head, looking very interested in the polish on his gauntlets. Halphas developed a sudden fascination with the ceiling.
Andras just shrugged, still lazily thumbing the edge of his cutlass. "Meh," the owl said, blowing a smoke ring.
Oh thanks, Zac thought bitterly. Here I was thinking I would have been upset if you got turned into shark food. I really hate that your nonchalance and assholery is getting me hot again though.
"Gremory!" Marchosias barked, trying very hard to keep his howl of rage from breaking through, his fists clenched at his sides. "You cannot come here and assault my men! I will report this to the Lowest Power! This is a violation of—"
Gremory turned slowly to face him. She shook her head, a pitying smile playing on her lips.
"Is that before or after you explain why you used your silver fire to annihilate Baal's Bistro?" she asked softly.
Marchosias's mouth snapped shut with an audible click. His eyes went wide, and all the color drained from his face beneath his fur. The room was suddenly very, very quiet.
"Now, tell me, human," Gremory said, towering over Zac like a sequoia made of silk and scorn. "You dare address me in such a vulgar manner?"
"Please, Gremory," Bune managed to say meekly, stepping forward but keeping his distance. "This is no mere human."
"This is Ose's chosen Avatar," the Right Head nodded pleadingly. "You know how the deceitful leopard is... how he enjoys playing with words."
"He was just making a joke," the Left Head added softly.
"A joke?" the camel demon asked, eyeing the now-anxious hydra with disdain. "You allow the Avatar of a fledgling President to make jokes? Have you no shame?"
Bune's heads avoided her judgmental gaze, looking down at their scuffed shoes. "No."
"Tisk tisk," the she-demon shook her head, the golden crown clinking against her hip. "Even the Avatar of Paimon himself would not dare to speak to me in such a manner."
"Yeah, because they're probably not a secret weapon like I am," Zac said, jutting out his leopard-print chest. "Some Digimon demon is probably too... Asian... too honorable to understand the nuance of a good zinger, Humps."
The room went even more silent, if that was possible. A heavy, suffocating stillness descended. Then, Marchosias let out a loud, whimpering groan. He slowly walked to the war table, pulled out his chair, sat down, and gently lowered his forehead until it hit the wood with an audible thump.
Gremory looked furious. Her eyes blazed with purple fire. "Foolish human! Do you not know what sort of hellish torment I can afflict upon you? Do you not have any concept of-"
"HUMPS! HUMPS! HUMPS!" Zac yelled, cutting her off and pointing an accusing finger. "I DON'T CARE if you cock ring me until I cry! I'll never respect you for insulting my venerated vincel! March is my final destination, my OTP... my One True Pairing!"
Gremory looked furious, confused, and deeply scandalized all at once. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. "Enough!" she shouted, her voice shaking the walls. "Disgusting man! I'll make you experience every romantic folly! All of the pain you've ever pushed on another! Every selfish fornication you've ever squeezed from another's heart!"
The camel woman pointed a manicured finger at Zac. A dark purple light emanated from it, bathing Zac's body in an evil, royal glow.
Zac clenched up and squeezed his eyes shut. The light was tingly, like a limb falling asleep. He waited for the pain, the suffering, the emotional devastation... whatever the demonic magic was supposed to do to him. He braced himself for a montage of every time he was ghosted and awkward 'sorry you looked different on your profile'.
However, after a few moments of nothing... he peeked an eye open.
Gremory was staring at him, completely flabbergasted. Her finger was still pointed, but the light had fizzled out. She looked down at her hand, then back at Zac, her regal composure shattering.
"But... but... but..." she said dumbly.
"Gremory," Bune managed to say, his voice strained as he tried to calm the furious Duchess. "Please do not get so upset with Zachary. If Ose learned his chosen avatar was killed, he would be most displeased."
"Stop lying to me, Bune! Do you think I am stupid?" the camel woman shouted, her perfect composure finally cracking like cheap pottery. "If this pathetic runt was truly an avatar, you wouldn't need to dress him up in such a weak and pathetic disguise!"
"Hey," Zac said, crossing his arms and looking genuinely offended. "Leopard print is totally badass and regal. But Ose can lick my ass. That bastard is a total diaper baby."