Kayleigh didn't let go of June.
She shifted, gently pulling June toward the couch. They sank down together, the quiet pressing in around them.
June pressed her palms over her eyes. "God… I'm a mess," she whispered, voice cracking.
"June…" Kayleigh said softly. Her hand stayed firm on June's shoulder, grounding her. "Don't call it a mess. You've made it this far despite everything that's happened. You're strong, and I'm proud of you."
June went quiet. She smiled weakly at Kayleigh, and Kayleigh smiled back.
Kayleigh finally broke the silence.
"June, I know it's tough… let's try talking about it."
After a long pause, June finally spoke.
"Even when I want him to… he doesn't leave, Kay. Even when I swear I'm done, it's like he lives in my head. And I hate it. I hate him. But I can't" she drew a shaky breath, "I can't stop thinking about him."
Kayleigh didn't flinch. She didn't ask who. She didn't need to. She simply leaned closer, pressing her forehead lightly against June's temple.
"Then let him stay in your head for tonight," she murmured. "But let me stay here too. With you. That's enough."
June took a deep breath, the weight in her chest easing slightly. She leaned into Kayleigh, absorbing the warmth and steady heartbeat. For the first time in weeks, she felt a sense of stability.
Keghley's words were like stitches to her soul."You're strong June... But for now you can relax,"
June smiled weakly. They stayed still for a while, letting the air settle.
Then Kayleigh scanned the room. "...Wow, June. How long have you been living like this? It's only been a week since I last saw you. You were fine. You look..." her voice softened, "you look really bad."
June's hair was unkempt, her braids undone. The blue was gone.
Her eyes had lost their sparkle.
"Molly… you have the same expression she had when we met her. I can't help but worr..."
"I won't do what she did, Kayleigh. You know I won't," June snapped, cutting her off.
"You promised me," Kayleigh said, barely above a whisper. "You'd tell me everything, no matter how many times I've heard it."
June sighed. "Kayleigh, I don't want to be a burden to you. I don't want to make you worr..."
"Worry? June, of course I'm worried. You're my friend. I just don't want to be shut out too. Let me help. Please."
Heavy silence followed.
June got up and lay on the floor, facing away from Kayleigh. Tears slid quietly down her face.
And then a new memory surfaced, one from the day after Ryan and her became more than friends.
That afternoon, June had dozed off at their favourite spot, her mind buzzing from pulling an all-night rabbit hole of research on dating and first kisses.
The late afternoon sun warmed her honey skin giving it a pleasant glow. Ryan and Dexter joined her there, but didn't wake her. Ryan lowered himself beside her, his shadow spilling across her face.
He whispered to Dexter, "She's a goner."
Dexter smiled softly. "Wonder what she's dreaming about."
"She sleeps a lot these days," Ryan muttered, pulling out his phone.
"What are you doing?" Dexter asked.
"Wallpaper update," Ryan grinned.
In June's dream, Ryan leaned in close. His soft emerald eyes looked at her with quiet admiration, gentle, steady and sincere.
"Blue," he said, grinning ear to ear. "Since we're dating… we can kiss, right?"
Her breath caught. "I… I'm not sure."
He leaned down anyway, pressing his lips to hers before she could think. Her heart froze, her eyes fluttered shut.
Then she woke.
Ryan was right there, checking his phone. When he saw her awake, he smiled. "You're finally awa..."
June grabbed his face and kissed him.
Ryan jerked back, eyes wide. "June… did you just...kiss me?"
"You kissed me firs..," she snapped, looking visibly upset. Then reality hit her, this wasn't a dream anymore.
She scanned the area. Dexter's jaw dropped. Kayleigh, in the distance, dropped her ice cream.
Ryan's cheeks and ears turned bright red. His composure cracked for once.
Dexter broke the silence. "June... you okay?"
June's face burned. She scrambled up, left her bag and phone, and ran.
Ryan stood still, He slightly brushed his lips as they curled up into a faint grin. "Did that really just happen?"
"Ryan," Dexter said sharply. "What's going on?"
Ryan smiled. "I'm impressed... honestly...didn't expect our first kiss to be like this."
Dexter's voice cracked. "Ryan..she...she wouldn't kiss you unless you're..."
"Yes," Ryan cut in. "We're dating."
Dexter went pale. His chest burned. He sat down hard as Ryan slung June's bag over his shoulder.
"Dexter… the cat-and-mouse game starts again," Ryan said with a smirk, jogging off.
He searched everywhere for June. But she'd gone straight home, knowing he wouldn't stop looking.
Later that evening, breathless and tired, Ryan found her sitting outside her apartment...knees drawn up, keys forgotten.
"June!"
She looked up, startled.
He jogged to her, her bag still over his shoulder. She tensed, ready to run again, but his voice stopped her.
"I'm too exhausted to chase you anymore," he said, catching his breath. "Let's... Let's talk it out."
June stayed still. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Ryan held out her bag, smiling faintly. "You should still take responsibility for it, though."
She flushed. "I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I had this stupid dream..."
He set the bag down, stepped closer, and cupped her face gently.
"Stupid dream or not... You have to take responsibility." He whispered almost too quietly.
Her breath stuttered as his thumbs traced her cheeks and he claimed her lips with a slow and soft kiss.
This one was real.
Their breaths tangled. Their hearts were in sync.
When he pulled back, he murmured, "Blue, let me take responsibility instead. You don't have to."
He chuckled breathlessly. "Oh, and now I don't owe you that hug anymore."
The days that followed felt lighter, picnics at their new claimed spot near June's apartment, movie nights, hands always together. Soft glances and peace.
But Ryan… Ryan still hid pieces of himself. He knew everything about her... her heartbreaks, her scars. He listened like he'd been there for all of it.
Yet when June tried to reach past his smiles, he handed her a blindfold instead. So she'd never see the him behind the mask...And that more than anything began to hurt.
June jolted awake, the memory of Ryan, the past Ryan still echoing in her mind. Keighley had covered her with a blanket and slipped a pillow under her head.
"I just don't understand," June whispered, voice trembling. "Why he had to hide so much. He was hurting… was it so hard to tell me? He just chose to push me away. And see where it led me."
Keighley's voice was soft, breaking. "I'm sorry, June."
Dear diary,
Sometimes ignorance is bliss,
I want to go back to before he broke,
Before I knew the real him,
I wished I had stayed in the dark longer, is it selfish and careless of me to think this way?
~June