"What if you end up dead on the job?" Xal retorted.
How is that any different? He thought, but Kian responded as if he was reading his mind.
✦ ✦ ✦
"It's different. Because if you die, there are people who will put the blame on me. If I die, there's no one to blame you. No one will come to you saying, 'Kian died because of you, give him back.'" Kian's voice cracked as memories flooded in. Too many of them, faces of those he couldn't save, accusations he couldn't answer.
And there is that voice again, Why are you still here, Kian? Breathing, arguing, hoping-
"Just go back." He cut off the voice inside his head, rushed into his room, and shut the door hard enough to rattle the frame.
✦ ✦ ✦
Xal stood there, stranded in the middle of the hallway with the sound of that slammed door still ringing in his ears.
Every other way he had tried had led to a dead end. No other shaman or psychic was even aware that Khem existed.
He needed to be with Kian to get justice for Xehelya. He and his parents were used to the lifestyle of him being a bodyguard. He'd always known the risks that came along with it. It's just… he didn't think anyone hiring him would be so concerned about his well-being and his family.
But Kian did. The obnoxious, arrogant, self-centered brat thought about it.
He concluded on the possibility of Kian having a bodyguard before and that person died on duty.
Either way, Xal was more than capable of handling danger. He was more than capable enough to keep himself safe, keep his family safe, and keep Kian safe as well.
Till this moment, he'd been ready to convince Kian to give him the job. But Kian wasn't backing away from giving him the job. He was backing away from putting Xal in danger.
Now he had to convince him that it wasn't something he needed to worry about.
Again, something pulls at his feelings, unsettling him this time. Darian would have pinpointed what it was.
Nevertheless, he walked toward the closed door and spoke loud enough for Kian to hear through it.
"You know… um…" Xal paused to wrangle his feelings into proper sentences. "You worry about me and my parents. That's very thoughtful of you. But I'm not going to leave. You should know, as a bodyguard, danger is not something I worry about. It's like a second skin to me."
He cleared his throat. "And… I was irrational and stupid yesterday. Obviously, I don't know shit about your world. But I want to know more so that I can be better at protecting you and myself, which you seem to be really worried about. I want to find Khem, Kian. I want your help to seek justice for Xehelya. I'll work as your bodyguard, assistant, cook…" He paused for a moment and added, "...driver, whatever you want. I'm taking responsibility for my safety, that's natural for me, Kian. I won't die that easily."
Xal stopped and waited for a response.
Nothing.
He sighed and went to the living room, sank onto the couch again, and waited, hoping Kian would change his decision.
Xal remembered when he first saw Kian. He spoke like a know-it-all, but mostly he looked somewhat happy and hyped up about meeting him.
Which was new to him because new people, and even most of the people who knew Xal, weren't that happy to be around him. He was blunt as hell, didn't care about how his words would affect others, and wouldn't put an ounce of extra effort into anything unless it was for his parents.
So, Kian, being excited to work with him, was a nice feeling, even with the hellish reveal he'd brought on afterwards, leading to the cold shoulder he was constantly receiving. He hoped it wouldn't be permanent. Even if it were, he'd already decided to put up with it.
After a few hours, he heard Kian opening the door. So he got up and went toward the bedroom.
"So…" Just as his voice floated, Kian jumped, letting out a startled yelp. Well, good that there is one thing that didn't change.
For a person who can see ghosts, Kian is way too jumpy.
"Are you stuck in this house or what? Last time I checked, you are a human, not a house spirit. Why won't you leave?" Kian asked, this time not annoyed; he was actually asking.
"I already told you why. I want the job, and I was waiting to sign the contract." Xal said casually.
"What about your parents, what if…" Xal held his hand up, stopping Kian.
"I told you, I'm willingly taking this opportunity, and I will bear the consequences. Willingly signing up to risk it all may be new to you. Not to me or to them. Whenever I took other jobs as a bodyguard, I knew the risks. My parents knew the risks, and I still took them. I already told you, I'm good at my job. I won't get hurt, and I'll make sure you won't get hurt either. "
✦ ✦ ✦
A few hours before, when he'd heard Xal's voice through the door, it had calmed down the spiking anxiety he was feeling. The part about him being willing to bear the consequences of the danger he might have to face still didn't make sense. More like he couldn't bring himself to believe it. But the thread was still intact, which meant he could still trust him.
Whenever someone died, the blame always fell on him. It was difficult to the point that everyone around him just left.
So, he'd sat on that bed contemplating, and finally left the room, taking the silence as proof that Xal had given up and left.
But he was still there.
He hadn't left.
Yet.
Kian hesitated. Even though he'd made sure to make these three days hell for Xal so he would quit, still- still deep down he wished Xal would take the job.
Hell, he even had the contract ready, printed and sitting in his desk drawer.
Pathetic. Still thinking people would stay with you.
Shut UP!
It's okay. Ignore.
Pathetic.
I said SHUT UP! He winced at all of the contradicting thoughts invading.
For Kian, Xal was a lot like his older brother, Caius, but kinder. He was comfortable in Xal's grumpy, complaining, arguing presence. He craved it, even though he was inviting him into something so dangerous.
He really was selfish, and that thought made his skin prickle at the memory of what he'd done to Tammy.
Maybe when Xal worked for a few months and got no leads about Khem, when reality hit, he would leave to find another way or give up. Yeah, he could do that.
Just keep him alive for a few months till he gets tired of all this chaos.
He justified his decision to himself.
The soft tinkling of chimes and crystals filled the silence between them.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked one more time.
"Nothing in my life had felt this right before. Yes. I'm sure." He could tell that Xal wasn't lying by his unbroken gaze and steady voice.
He sighed out loud and froze.
There was one more reason he hesitated to give him the job. If Xal persisted in taking the job at his life at risk, with his kind nature he would definitely reject the job offer when he read the contract.