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"Alright, let's go!"
Leo stood on the porch, efficiently checking his travel "attachments": Kogasa Tatara was comfortably perched on his right shoulder, Chen the Orange Cat was eagerly following close behind his boots holding her glowing Iridium fishing rod, Ran Yakumo was gracefully carrying a massive, heavy woven lunch basket, and finally, three blonde Flandre clones were hovering above, literally holding their Main Body horizontally over Leo's head like a makeshift, sun-blocking umbrella.
Good, everyone's here and accounted for.
But as soon as he pushed open the creaking wooden gate of the Farmhouse yard, Leo froze, completely stunned.
Out in the muddy, newly cultivated fields, the Little Fairies were happily splashing around in the heavy spring downpour without even bothering to wear raincoats or use lily-pad umbrellas. Whatever, Leo sighed, running a hand down his face. They were immortal Little Fairies, after all; absolutely nothing they did was surprising or logical anymore.
But what on earth were all you ancient Great Youkai trying to do today?!
Are you gathering an entire server's worth of max-level players just to fight some world-ending World Boss? It's literally just a fish! Even a system-designated Legendary Fish is still fundamentally just a wet, scaly fish in a lake! There's absolutely no tactical need for all you overpowered Old Hags to officially mobilize like this!
"Everyone, assemble! The official Gensokyo Sunset Red Tour Group is about to depart!"
Yukari Yakumo wasn't wearing her usual, complicated, heavy purple Bagua-patterned dress today. Instead, she had miraculously changed into casual, surprisingly modern Earth clothes: a tight white crop-top printed with a silly, tongue-poking Kedama monster, and a pair of fitted blue jeans that perfectly showed off her long leg shape.
She pulled out a bright red, tourist-style baseball cap, put it on backwards, and enthusiastically waved a small, triangular yellow flag on a stick, looking exactly like an overly energetic, underpaid tour guide leading a group of senior citizens.
Hearing the loud, cheerful call, the terrifying assembly of Great Youkai standing in the rain also obediently took out matching red baseball caps and put them on, including the two massive, muscular Oni with actual horns on their heads.
"Sometimes I really feel like Yukari Yakumo has a deep, underlying political problem with us specifically. The cheap promotional things she gives out always feel a bit... racially discriminatory against Oni."
Yuugi Hoshiguma grumbled, her muscular arms flexing. She aggressively tried for a long time, but because of the massive, single crimson horn protruding directly from her forehead, she physically couldn't get the cheap red cap to sit flat on her head.
Beside her, the 1.5-meter-tall, perpetually drunk Suika Ibuki was currently in the exact same miserable boat.
She had it even worse. Yuugi at least only had one horn to deal with; Suika had two massive, curved horns. Yuugi could still stubbornly wear the cap backwards and look cool, but Suika was forced to use her density-manipulation ability to slightly, grotesquely enlarge her own head and balance the small hat precariously right in the middle between her horns, making her physical proportions look incredibly, comically off.
"What exactly are you trying to do this time?"
While walking up the muddy mountain path under the Flandre-umbrella, Leo saw Yukari jog over to walk alongside him and asked in a low, exhausted voice. This was the legendary Sage of Youkai; the Sage must absolutely have a deep, complex, multi-layered meaning for organizing this ridiculous flash mob. She couldn't just be doing this because she was bored, right?
"I'm bored," Yukari replied casually, twirling her guide flag. "Gensokyo is physically only so big, and I've finished exploring absolutely everything worth seeing there centuries ago. So, the moment I went back through the Gap this morning and casually mentioned your little fishing activity to the group chat, absolutely everyone aggressively signed up to come watch."
Yukari then shamelessly reached her hand directly into the heavy picnic basket Ran Yakumo was carrying right next to Leo. She rummaged around past the sandwiches, pulled out a cold, sealed glass bottle of premium Stardew honey water, popped the cork, and chugged it down like a frat boy.
By the time Leo physically reacted and wanted to stop her from drinking his expensive artisan goods, it was far too late; a full 500ml bottle of Gold-star honey water was already completely gone, and Yukari burped delicately.
"Wait, doesn't your so-called Sunset Red Tour Group bring its own travel food?! Why are you shamelessly freeloading off others' hard work?!"
Leo bristled, his capitalist heart aching. He had painstakingly placed his newly crafted wooden beehives near the glowing Fairy Lake during the farm's grueling reconstruction. For those specific beehives, he had specifically, exhaustingly asked Aya Shameimaru to go all the way back to Gensokyo to harvest authentic Tengu maple syrup for the crafting recipe, formally signing over exclusive newspaper reporting rights for Stardew Valley in exchange for the materials.
That was the absolute, heavy price of Stardew Valley's pristine reputation, and Yukari Yakumo just chugged the resulting profits down so openly without asking?! Are you legally part of our family now?! Why are you drinking my inventory!
Oh wait. Leo paused, his brain stalling. She actually is. She's Ran Yakumo's literal master and creator. If you calculate the complex family tree logic... he technically should call Yukari Yakumo... Mom?
What's wrong with Mom drinking a little bit of your honey water?! An imaginary, nagging voice that sounded suspiciously like Yukari echoed in his head. I painstakingly raised my beautiful fox daughter for hundreds of years, only for her to be romantically snatched away by a squishy human pig like you, and now you're aggressively unhappy about me eating a little bit of your food as a dowry?!
Reimu~~ Open your eyes and look! My human son-in-law is incredibly unfilial! He wants to starve this frail old woman to death!
The vivid, dramatic image of Yukari crying and complaining to the Shrine Maiden flashed through Leo's mind like a soap opera. He had definitely watched far too many melodramatic Bilibili short videos lately. He rubbed his temples.
"Food? Oh, we absolutely brought some traditional travel snacks! Everyone, let our generous Stardew Valley owner see the delicious food we brought for the picnic!"
Yukari blew a sharp blast on a silver whistle around her neck.
Immediately, Yukari pulled out a piece of rock-hard, aged smoked fish from her pocket that looked physically older than Leo himself.
Yuyuko cheerfully pulled out Youmu's glowing, ethereal half-phantom and offered it like cotton candy.
Sanae Kochiya pulled out a pathetic handful of aged, raw rice from her pocket that had already turned a sickly yellow, accidentally spilling some in the mud and then squatting down miserably to pick the dirty grains up one by one.
Miss Sakuya, maintaining perfect maid posture in the mud, pulled out a questionable bag of highly moldy black tea leaves and expertly brewed a lukewarm cup for the expressionless Remilia. Remilia was a truly tough, prideful aristocrat; she actually forced the foul liquid down without gagging to maintain face.
Other Great Youkai also eagerly presented their own tragic "specialties": some literally chewed on old, bleached animal bones, some scooped up handfuls of wet Stardew dirt to eat, some chewed thoughtfully on wet autumn leaves, and Yuugi and Suika even happily pulled out a handful of sharp gravel stones from the path to loudly suck on like hard candy.
Reimu Hakurei didn't take absolutely anything out of her empty pockets. She just stood there, opened her mouth wide to the rain, and after a while, closed it and chewed the wet air twice. She was literally drinking the northwest wind for sustenance.
Watching the terrifying Great Youkai perform their synchronized, pathetic poverty talents, Leo looked down at his own heavy picnic lunch basket—which, while not extravagantly luxurious, had plenty of hot meat, fresh vegetables, and rice—and sucked in a sharp breath of cold air.
This absolutely wasn't a cheerful Sunset Red Tour Group; this was a traveling circus of starving, manipulative refugees!
What a ruthless, coordinated moral kidnapping!
"Then... sigh... how about we all just pool our resources and eat together when we get to the Mine Cave Lake?"
It genuinely had to be said, the Great Youkai of Gensokyo were all undeniably beautiful girls, ranging perfectly from cute lolis to elegant onee-sans to terrifying Old Hags—every single anime archetype imaginable, and all of them fit Leo's personal aesthetic perfectly. Seeing such beautiful, powerful women aggressively eating literal dirt and mold so miserably in the rain, his soft heart broke. He simply couldn't help but say the exact, generous words he knew he would deeply regret for the rest of the day.
"Yay!"
Hearing Leo's defeated words, absolutely everyone immediately, violently threw away the disgusting trash they had picked up and cheered loudly, high-fiving each other.
Having lived in the lawless, chaotic realm of Gensokyo for so incredibly long, their basic sense of personal dignity and integrity had long since vanished into thin air. The Great Youkai's elaborate, undignified poverty act organized by Yukari was purely for fun—and, of course, to successfully score a massive, free, high-quality meal from the rich World Lord Leo.
"Hey! Lady Yuyuko, please give me back my half-phantom!"
Ignoring the crying Youmu, who was frantically chasing after her own stolen soul, the massive, cheerful group marched grandly up the mountain path toward the back mountain. By now, the area around the Mine Cave Lake had been completely, radically transformed by the hardworking crews of Kappa Heavy Industries.
To make the fishing event feel much more epic and structured, Kappa Heavy Industries had not only built a massive, sturdy wooden high platform by the edge of the deep lake for the actual fishing, but they had also set up a sprawling, colorful temporary festival camp. Each canvas tent hung hastily painted wooden signs like "Equipment Shop," "Item Shop," and "Pharmacy," trying as hard as legally possible to give the muddy area a classic, adventure RPG hub-town feel.
As for the actual reality of the shops...
Kogasa Tatara eagerly jumped off Leo's shoulder, walked proudly behind the wooden counter of the "Equipment Shop," reached her hand deeply into the wet, cavernous mouth of the One-Eyed Xiao San umbrella, and pulled out a massive bunch of glowing, freshly forged Iridium fishing rods. She had stayed up all night to make these extras; absolutely anyone wanting to try their luck at fishing today could buy one here and go play by the lake.
Behind the "Pharmacy" counter sat Marisa Kirisame, wearing a fake mustache, with her suspiciously bubbling, glowing glass potions proudly on display. However, absolutely everyone living in Gensokyo knew from painful experience that the actual biological effects of the witch's homemade potions were completely, dangerously random. If you really, truly wanted safe medicine to heal, you went to the Scarlet Devil Mansion to formally find Patchouli.
The "Item Shop" was manned by the Boss herself, Nitori Kawashiro. The wooden shelves were filled to the brim with various high-tech gadgets, from special motorized fishing hooks to waterproof sonar radars. There was absolutely nothing Big Sister Kappa couldn't craft if you had the gold.
Leo looked around exhaustedly at the chaotic shop names on the tents, sighed deeply, and finally walked silently into a small, quiet tent labeled "Family Foster Area." He sat down heavily on a folding chair, seeking peace from the noise.
Not long after he sat down, the tent flap opened. Yukari Yakumo also lifted the canvas and walked in with a highly exaggerated, tearful, rejected expression on her beautiful face.
"Oh, what a sad coincidence. You're hiding in here too?" Yukari sniffled, wiping fake tears. "Did Ran violently kick you out of the group to focus on the cat?"
Leo sighed, shifted his butt to the side of the small bench, and patted the empty spot next to him, making room for the Sage. They were both currently lonely, abandoned "old people" with absolutely no one to play with while Ran focused entirely on coaching Chen, so they could only sit here in the quiet tent together and wait for the boss fight to begin.