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3rd POV
Ted stepped out of the taxi and adjusted his coat, the night air brushing against his face. It was already past eleven, but instead of heading straight up to his apartment, he knew that his friends would still be at MacLaren's.
They always were, even though Marshal still has paper to write, but until he knocks two beers or more, he will still stay in MacLaren.
With that familiar certainty, he turned toward the bar.
He descended the stairs at an unhurried pace, calm and collected, until something felt… off.
Eyes followed him.
Not the usual casual glances. Not the recognition of the usual patron of the bar.
This was different.
A few women were leaning against the entrance, some perched lazily on the steps, their attention fixed entirely on him. Their expressions weren't neutral, it's far from it. Lips were being licked. Bites to the lower lip lingered a little too long. One woman didn't even try to hide it, her gaze traveling downward with deliberate slowness.
Yeah. to 'That' downward.
Ted frowned slightly.
This was MacLaren's. He was a regular here for years. Even if not everyone recognized him, this kind of attention didn't just happen out of nowhere.
And then it clicked.
Earlier that night, Barney's message.
Ted exhaled through his nose and shook his head.
….Of course.
He tried to brush it off and move toward the door, but before he could take another step, one of the women, the blonde who had been checking him out the most, stepped directly into his path.
"Hey handsome," she purred, openly catcalling him now, her eyes glittering.
"Do you want to make out?"
"Charlie! We broke!" one of her friends snapped, quickly grabbing her arm and trying to pull her back.
Ted paused for a little bit, but then he smiled. It's a free 'Dinner' after all.
"Sure."
Before Charlie could even fully process the answer, Ted grabbed her firmly. The sudden movement made her stumble, but he caught her easily, pressing her back against the wall to steady her.
And then he kissed her.
Hard.
For a split second, Charlie froze, caught completely off guard by the intensity. It took her a few heartbeats to react before she kissed him back just as fiercely as his kiss. Her friends stared, utterly flabbergasted by the sudden turn of events.
"Ahh…" Charlie let out a breathy moan, her hands sliding up to clutch at Ted's neck, pulling him closer, refusing to let go. Her body melted into his, uncoordinated and desperate for something more than just a kiss.
Ted didn't hold back either. His grip tightened, one hand grabbing her firmly, lifting one of her legs to force her stance open.
"…Hmm… you whore…" Charlie murmured between kisses, her voice low and breathless.
"…How many Pussy have you kissed tonight…?..hmmm…" she muttered before crashing her lips into his again.
That was when Ted pulled away.
He stared at her, brows knit in confusion rather than desire.
"What are you talking about?"
"No….don't stop…" Charlie whined, trying to kiss him again. Ted dodged the attempt.
"Come on…" she said shamelessly, her hands already fumbling at his belt, her face flushed, her grin wide and unrestrained.
"Let's fuck!"
Ted grabbed her wrists and stepped back.
"What the hell?!" he snapped. "What's going on here?!"
Even though he knew Barney was messing with him, he didn't know what really happened right now.
One of Charlie's friends finally managed to drag her away, looking both embarrassed and apologetic.
"Apparently…" the friend said awkwardly, keeping a tight hold on Charlie, "…there's a rumor going around that you're a…well…a whore."
She glanced at Charlie, then back at Ted.
"…I guess that rumor really got out of hand…or maybe it's true?"
Before Ted could even respond, the friend turned on Charlie, clearly furious. "What the hell is wrong with you?! If you wanna dick, let's find a decent guy!"
Charlie grumbles but she keeps looking at Ted with the same heat and the same hot look.
Still stunned for a moment, but now understanding enough, Ted turned sharply and stormed into MacLaren's.
The moment he stepped inside, the room went quiet.
Every head turned.
Some faces showed pity.
Others admiration.
A few looked… impressed.
Wendy hurried over immediately, worry written all over her face. She reached for Ted's hand, squeezing it gently.
"Ted… no matter what job you take," she said earnestly, "we're still your friends. Right, Carl?"
Carl placed a hand over his chest and nodded solemnly, offering Ted a deeply supportive look.
Ted stared at them for a long second before focusing on Wendy with a flat face like this is normal to him and them.
"…Where is he?" he asked flatly.
Wendy knew exactly who he meant.
The silence lasted maybe two minutes before Carl broke….bursting into laughter. Wendy followed, unable to hold it in any longer. The room is full of laughter, laughing at him.
Wendy pointed toward the back corner of the bar. Still laughing at him and can't help but lean to his body.
Of course She and Carl know this is just a regular joke, and Ted being whore? Yeah, that's impossible. Even though there is a high chance that Ted will be rich for being a whore, of course nobody believes it except dumb blonde bitch that Barney is targeting.
Yes, Barney.
He was chatting up a woman, gesturing dramatically, while pointing toward Ted with exaggerated concern, clearly using him as a tragic conversation prop to earn sympathy.
And probably an invitation back to her apartment. Yeah, there's a high chance to do that. Even he gestured to his phone, probably sharing the photo of Ted. That's why women outside the bar know him immediately.
Ted clenched his jaw and gave Barney a bloodshot. Wendy patted his body softly, "Don't break the chair or table, okay?" She said and went back to work again.
"…I'm gonna kill him." Ted didn't care. He broke into a short run but Barney noticed him too late.
His eyes widened in panic as he tried to sidestep and tried to escape but Ted was already airborne.
Literally.
Yes. Flying.
Ted tackled him straight to the floor.
—-------
"…Ow!"
Barney clutched his cheek, already turning red from Ted's slap. "Ted, you slap like a bitch!" he snapped, glaring up at him.
Ted didn't even blink and keep glaring at him.
Despite Marshall's earlier attempts to shut him down, Barney had still used Ted's so-called 'new reputation' as a pickup tool. And, predictably, it hadn't taken long for the rumor to spread across the room.
The regulars of MacLaren's, people who actually knew Ted, didn't buy it for a second.
But the women who didn't regularly and being Barney targets?
Yeah… they absolutely did.
Marshall and Lily, both looking more than a little guilty for failing to restrain Barney, wordlessly slid two beers toward Ted.
"Shut up," Ted growled at Barney, then glanced down at his suit jacket.
"...I should've cut your suit."
"MURDER!!!" Barney shrieked, pointing dramatically at Ted then shielding his jacket with both arms. "This suit has done nothing to you!"
Marshall sighed, placing a hand on Ted's shoulder. "Sorry, man. You know how he is," he said sincerely.
Ted exhaled, then grabbed one of the beers and downed it in one long pull. He lifted the second glass slightly.
"Apology accepted," he said with a grin.
"Hey, Ted… just curious…"
Robin, who was leaning against the table beside Barney, turned toward him, her expression suddenly serious, maybe a little too serious.
"…How much do I have to pay to sleep with you?"
Lily burst out laughing and Barney chuckled evilly to Ted.
Marshall immediately made an apologetic face.
Ted, however, simply looked at Robin and smiled.
Not a big smile.
….But a dangerous one.
He reached out slowly, brushing a strand of her hair back with his fingers. "You're my baby girl," he said softly. "Of course you don't have to pay."
Robin swallowed and was a little stunned.
Her smile turned awkward, heat creeping up her cheeks.
"…R-Really?" she asked, her voice catching just a little.
Then, like someone snapping out of a spell, she shook her head.
"I mean…no! I must pay, right?..." She turned desperately to Lily for backup.
Lily just laughed harder.
"…Since you're a whore….God…what is wrong with me?!" Robin blurted out, groaning as she grabbed her beer and took a long drink.
Barney stared at her, completely speechless. "Woman… what are you even talking about?" he muttered, rolling his eyes.
Seeing Robin thoroughly flustered, Lily finally stepped in to rescue her.
"Ted," Lily said casually, leaning into Marshall, "didn't you say you weren't coming back tonight?"
She smirked. "What? Your big shot didn't pay you that much?"
Ted shot Robin a quick glance before turning back to Lily.
"Nah," he said lightly. "We just had dinner. Talked business."
"Dude!" Marshall blurted out. "Please stop talking in vague sentences. You're really starting to worry me!"
Barney was already halfway to standing up, ready to shout something to the entire bar until Robin yanked him back down by his suit.
Ted already shot Barney a warning glare and made Barney immediately raise his hands in surrender.
Marshall leaned forward again, earnest as ever. "Just tell us your new job, Ted."
Ted shook his head. "Don't worry, Marshall. I know you're concerned. As your best fr—"
"I am your best friend!" Barney interrupted loudly.
Ted ignored him completely. "All I can say," Ted continued calmly, "is that the job's doing just fine. Nothing shady. Nothing illegal." He took another sip of his beer.
Marshall clearly wasn't satisfied with the gray answer, but he knew when Ted was holding something back. So instead of pushing, he tried to calm himself with beer.
"By the way," Ted added smoothly, "didn't you have a paper to write?"
Marshall straightened instantly, pride flaring.
"Dude. You're talking to the kid."
Ted grinned. "I know."
Marshall puffed his chest and addressed the group like a motivational speaker.
"I just bought two drinks, so I'm gonna knock these down, go home, write a twenty-five-page paper, turn it in, and get an A."
He paused, then added triumphantly,
"My name is Rufus and that's the Troofus!"
{Your uncle got a B-minus.} —Old Ted.
Lily chuckled. Barney rolled his eyes. Robin shook her head fondly and looked at Ted with a little smile. Ted laughed along with him.
{Still… twenty-five pages in one night and a B-minus?} —Old Ted. {The kid was good.}
Ted caught Robin looking at him and returned the smile.
He was genuinely glad she was part of his circle now, still being his friend and despite everything that had already happened between them.
They laughed, talked, and let the night drift by. Eventually, Marshall finished his two beers and headed home to battle academia.
Barney stayed behind, already hunting for his next target.
Robin stepped outside with Ted. "Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys," she said softly. "I barely know anyone in this city. Having friends… it really helps."
Ted smiled, gently ruffling her hair as they waited for a cab. Robin immediately swatted his hand away and glared at him, giving him a little nudge softly.
The taxi arrived quickly. Ted opened the door for her but….
Only for Barney to suddenly appear, shoving himself inside with a woman already giggling and kissing his face greedily.
"Thanks, Ted!" Barney called, flashing a thumbs-up as the door slammed shut.
Robin gasped looking at the cab slowly driving far.
Ted just sighed, like this is normal.
"Well," he said, amused, "welcome to New York."
Then, Robin laughed softly beside him. The cold night didn't bother her, she's from Canada after all but Ted hesitated, then met her eyes.
"…Do you want to come upstairs?"
She studied his face for a long second.
"…Okay."