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3rd POV
"Sorry I ruined your girls' night," Marshall said softly to Lily, glancing at her before briefly checking the rearview mirror at Robin, who sat in the backseat. The three of them were on the road to Philly, heading to meet Ted and Barney.
Lily waved a dismissive hand, completely unbothered. "Oh please," she said, then turned slightly to look at Robin. "All I was doing was talking to guys' backs while they were hitting on Robin. Honestly? This road trip sounds like a great night to me."
Robin leaned forward between the seats, resting her arms casually. "Yeah," she said with a grin, "they were like bees drawn to a flower. And the flower was me. Obviously." She said while being smug and rolling her eyes dramatically like this is normal for her.
Yeah, she is trying to tease Lily right now.
Lily rolled her eyes dramatically. "Ugh. Of course they were. But…" She said and patted Marshall's arms, "I've already got my own bee king right here."
"…Actually, Lily," Marshall said in a flat, overly-academic tone, "bees don't have a king."
Robin burst out laughing immediately. Lily, on the other hand, pouted.
"Of course they do!" Lily shot back. "Who do you think impregnates the queen?!"
And just like that, the next fifteen minutes of the drive were completely hijacked by The Great Bee Debate.
Marshall stayed firm, armed with random facts he was absolutely certain were correct. Lily stayed just as firm, fueled entirely by confidence and vibes. Robin chimed in occasionally, mostly to stir the pot and enjoy the chaos.
The car still had over an hour to go before Philly.
The same CD was stuck in the Fiero's DVD player, something vaguely upbeat and repetitive, looping endlessly as they argued. Which is The Proclaimers - I am gonna be (500 miles).
"I'm telling you," Lily said again, refusing to let it go about the bar before, "I saw some guy checking me out."
"Yeah, Lily. Yeah…" Robin replied lazily, rolling her eyes as she looked out the window, then over at Marshall, who let out a quiet chuckle.
"What?" Lily snapped, narrowing her eyes. "You don't believe me, do you?"
"Lily…" Robin said, gesturing openly to her own face, then her body, as if presenting undeniable evidence. "Please. Look at me."
She didn't need to say anything else.
Lily groaned. "Yeah, yeah. I hated your guts the moment we met."
Marshall stiffened slightly at that, but Robin just smiled wider.
"You hated me?" Robin asked, leaning forward again, clearly intrigued.
"A lot," Lily replied without hesitation while rolling her eyes.
"Aww," Robin said warmly and smiled at her. "Thanks, Lily."
Marshall stared at both of them, completely lost, shaking his head as if none of this made sense anymore.
"Honestly," Marshall said, trying to help, "you'd get hit on a lot too if you didn't wear your ring."
Lily stunned for a moment and then glanced down at her hand.
"I mean," Marshall continued, warming to the metaphor, "to guys, that ring is basically a 'Marshall Parking Only' sign."
Lily blinked, then her eyes widened slightly. "…Really?"
"Of course!" she said a second later, nodding to herself. "That's totally it. I'm just not used to it yet."
She held her hand up proudly so Robin could see the ring, smiling.
"Of course it's the ring," Marshall said confidently, then absolutely failed to stop himself.
"If you took that ring off, you'd have tons of guys crowding your junk."
He meant it in the most supportive way possible.
Robin froze. "…Wait," she said slowly. "You want Lily to take off her ring?" She looked at Lily, then back at Marshall. "You okay with that?"
"...Please no," Marshall said immediately, his face falling.
Lily laughed, reached over, and gently rubbed his arm. "Relax. I'm not taking off my ring," she said sweetly. "My bee king would get jealous if guys started swarming my beeswax."
She leaned over and kissed his cheek.
Robin rolled her eyes but she was smiling again. Marshall smiled for a second then looked at Lily who still smiling at him.
".....For the last time," Marshall muttered stubbornly, "bees. don't. have. a king."
And just like that, the bee debate started all over again, this time with Robin fully involved, happily fanning the flames as the car continued its long drive to Philly.
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3rd POV
Barney still sat in his seat, arms crossed, staring straight ahead as if the answer to all of his questionable life choices might suddenly appear somewhere between thirty-five thousand feet of clouds.
Philadelphia.
He was really flying to Philadelphia to chase women who, by all moral, social, and painfully obvious standards....were not single.
They had boyfriends.
Plural!
"...What a mess," Barney muttered under his breath.
Normally, this would've been the kind of thing he brushed off with confidence, charm, and a disturbingly detailed backup plan. But tonight, even Barney Stinson felt a flicker of doubt.
Fortunately Ted was still here.
Ted, who hadn't judged him. Ted, who hadn't bailed. Ted, who had chosen to sit beside him instead of complaining right now, sat beside him.
That counted for something.
Barney straightened up, resolve snapping back into place like a perfectly tailored suit.
"Ted," he said dramatically, turning toward him, "I promise you….tonight will still be legendary!!!"
Ted hummed absently.
"We're changing targets. Fresh start. New girls. Zero complications," Barney continued, patting Ted's shoulder with enthusiasm. "We're gonna have fun. Real fun in Philly!"
Ted nodded, still staring ahead.
In fact… Ted hadn't really heard a single word.
His eyes lingered a few rows ahead. On the woman he definitely shouldn't still be thinking about.
With a quiet click, Ted unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up.
"Yeah," he said casually, finally looking at Barney. "I'm gonna hit the bathroom." He smiled a little warm and reassuringly. "Don't worry, buddy. You're my friend. I am not gonna bailed to this night"
Barney felt something in his chest soften.
"…But I'm your best friend, Ted," he said, blinking rapidly as he wiped away an imaginary tear.
Ted paused. "Marshall is my best friend, buddy."
And with that, he walked down the aisle.
"I am your best friend, Ted!" Barney whispered stubbornly, leaning back into his seat, forcing a grin.
"What a nice friend you have," the elderly woman beside him said kindly.
Barney frowned instantly. "Please watch your tongue," he said defensively. "He is my best friend."
The woman only smiled, leaning closer. "I doubt that, young man."
Barney straightened, deeply offended, and immediately launched into a long, passionate explanation about loyalty, legendary nights, and a friendship forged through wingmen, suits, and questionable decisions.
He was so focused on defending his honor that he didn't notice Anna slipping out of her seat.
….But Laura did.
She watched Anna hesitate for half a second, just long enough to be suspicious of her, before moving down the aisle.
Laura frowned. She knew that look. Curiosity disguised as coincidence.
"Bathroom," Anna had insisted quietly.
Laura had almost stopped her. Almost asked a question and almost said something. Instead, she rolled her eyes and leaned back, choosing peace for now.
The cabin settled into a gentle hush again. Barney continued his debate with the old woman. Laura stared forward, pretending not to worry about her friend who is trying to not look suspicious in front of her.
And somewhere at the back of the plane, something else happened. Entirely. It would make Barney jealous if he knew about it.
The bathroom door clicked shut.
"…Hmm—ah—!" Anna's breath hitched as she found between Ted's eyes and his lips. She should not be here and kissing Ted, but…
"....You followed me," Ted said softly, their lips parted. His voice low, and staring at her with the same greedy eyes.
For a brief moment, they just looked at each other, too close until they felt their own breath, too aware that this is wrong for Anna.
Ted could see it in her eyes. The hesitation tangled with desire.
He smiled faintly.
He had given the signal to her. He knew she would follow him.
".....I just wanted to wash my face," Anna said weakly, even as her fingers tightened around his shirt.
Ted leaned in again, this time more certain, his hands bracing against the wall as he kissed her. The space was tight, the air warmer, heavier.
Anna didn't pull away.
She kissed him back, deeper this time and pressing closer, urging him forward.
The plane continued its steady course toward Philadelphia, with the quiet chaos unfolding behind a locked door.