Been almost three months now after the oil spill and Grandma moving to our uncle's. Day by day I'm losing hope. "Of course you are." Yeah. Day by day I'm losing faith. "How could you not?" Do you mind? I sighed. I've been praying day by day and yet no miracle is happening. "You and I know why." Yeah, that just answers my question whether there is a God or none. The answer? It's an echoing 'none'. "Welcome to your new home!"
It's almost sunset and I went to the cliff using my bike after our class. "That is a wonderful idea!" Of course it is, that is my comfort place. Looking at the beautiful sky with the non-apologetic sun going down the ocean to sink. "Let us sink with the sun!"
"At least one last time."
"At least one last time." I told myself as I kept on standing on the cliff — bag still on my back, bike is laying down the grass. "One last time!"
"One last look!"
"One last breath!"
"Another soul!"
"Another one in Sheol!"
"One last time." I whispered.
The sun was now rushing down the ocean and it seemed closer and closer. Slowly. Zooming in. "One last step and you'll be with us permanently!"
"One last step and you will no longer feel the pain!" As the sun was closing in, a dove suddenly flew from below the cliff towards the sky. A dove at this hour? "What?!" But it's almost dark. "It can't be!" I just looked at the dove that took my attention and as it disappeared in the clouds. "No-no! One last step!" Why… Why does it seem like the sun still hasn't set? "Step you stupid girl!" Why is it still bright? I thought sunsets are swift? "Just swiftly step closer to the sunset, you dumb girl!"
Out of confusion, I looked back at the sunset and… and it stayed still. The sun stayed still. "No." Is it really staying still or am I just dreaming? "No!" How can this be? "No! No! NO!" Am I hallucinating? Has the sun really stopped from setting just now? "Take your step!"
"Maria!"
I froze. "That smell!"
"It smells vicious!" Vicious? But I don't smell anything bad.
"Maria!"
There he goes again!"It's Him!"What? Who is he? I couldn't move. My body is still frozen.
"Maria, look at me."
"We are doomed!" Why?
"We can't resist!" Resist who? Do you know who it is?
I have no idea why my body obeyed but I turned around and I looked at the person calling my name. His eyes and mine finally met.
"We are doomed!" My breathing rapids.
"We should've ended this faster!"
"It can't be!"
"It's Him!" My hands and feet felt ice cold.
"It burns!"
"Stop it!"
"It hurts!" I think I'm seeing fire in his eyes and it feels like it's burning me.
"Spare us!" My body is shivering.
"Thus saith the Lord that created you, and He that formed you, fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you art mine."
"NO!" and I heard multiple screeches, making me cover my ears and closing my eyes.
Then I noticed that my breathing finally went back to normal, my hands and feet aren't ice cold anymore, I don't feel like he's burning me, and my body stopped shivering.
"Maria, do not look down. Focus only on me." I quickly opened my eyes, removed my hands from my ears and looked at him.
"What? Why?" I finally spoke.
"Look down then," he said. So I looked down and—
"Edge! I'm on the edge! How did I get here?!"
"Maria, look at me. Focus on me, Maria."
And so I looked at him as my hands and knees began shaking. What the hell am I doing on the edge?! Just one step and I could've been erased from existence! I don't plan on ending myself haven't I? Oh, God! Help me!